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19-yr Old Student charged with sex assault after re-enacting 50 Shades of Grey
- Thread starter neorej
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My problem is that this person basically betrayed a certain nature of bdsm which is that both parties involved want it and have consented to what was going on. Just what that community needs more idiots misrepresenting the nature of it.
For the record referring to the 19 year old not you.
bengraven
Member
DoktorEvil
Banned
The story doesn't use a safeword? Does the movie? I haven't made an attempt to view either.
Also, the moment punching is involved, it's not even close to BDSM.
Karsticles
Member
"Whipping" in BDSM rarely involves actual physical harm. You aren't using a full-on bullwhip here, it's more like slapping a butt, but with a tool. Punching is inflicting an actual wound, and can damage internal organs and such. With whipping, you usually just have a pleasurable sore feeling after the event is concluded. That's not to say that BDSM can't involve punching at all, but it's pretty rare (I've never heard of it happening), and it's definitely a different degree of sadomasochism taking place than whipping.
I hope that helps your understanding.
CassidyIzABeast
Member
What a dumbass.
Tal Shiar Agent
Member
Exactly. People who think that media plays no part in influencing the social attitudes and behavior of people are deluding themselves.
MacGurcules
Member
This is exactly the kind of shallow-ass understanding that gets people into trouble. You don't just say, "Okay, the safeword is 'gerontology,'" and then go to town. You start with a mutual understanding and a foundation of trust. Unless you've got that, a safeword is completely powerless.
Most of the time you don't even need an explicit safeword unless you're deliberately incorporating elements of resistance. For most people "Ow, that hurts," or "Stop," are completely sufficient indicators of displeasure.
What a fucking disgusting joke to make.
Relevant?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU
Guys , always stop when she says no!! Geesh!
Looks to me guy is looking for an out and blame a movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU
Guys , always stop when she says no!! Geesh!
Looks to me guy is looking for an out and blame a movie
I meant the article. From what I hear, a safeword is never used in FSOG either.
TheLaughingStock
Member
What an idiot! Ugh people like this make me sick.
Hard to use a safeword with a necktie stuffed in your mouth.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
But in the movie it was consensual, with safe words. Spoiler
I mean, the very last scene is Christian going obviously too far with beating her with a belt, she cries, and storms out his of his place, telling him not to touch her. I think it was kind of beating you over the head with the fact that he did a bad thing.
You heard wrong.
There entire second half of the movie is Christian
telling her to do her homework on BDSM (it shows her doing a bunch of google searches) and to strike out any portions of the sexual submissive contract he writes up that she doesn't feel comfortable with. They then have a sit down meeting (like a 10 min scene) in his office where they go over the particulars, with him explaining things to her in detail if she's confused, and him acknowledging/accepting the things she isn't comfortable with. In fact, in the scene I mentioned above, she specifically asks him to do the worst thing that's in the contract (beating her with a belt), just out of sheer curiosity. She resents him for it afterward, but she never tells him to stop.
I don't know where all this misinformation is coming from. The movie is terrible but it's unfair to misconstrue what the author actually wrote.
I could be remembering wrong but technically, yes it does. But the problem is Anastasia never uses it, even when it is pretty clear that she is not comfortable with what they are doing.
PhantomHound
Banned
Is BDSM considered domestic abuse?
I laughed and now I feel terrible. You dick.
GankzyMcfly
Member
This has everything to do with 50 shades of grey and nothing to do with the fact that this individual was sexually frustrated
Pai Pai Master
Banned
it shouldn't be if it's fully consensual
MacGurcules
Member
And that's the big problem. A safeword doesn't mean shit if the activities it's meant to control aren't happening in an environment of trust and communication.
The protagonist in FSOG is essentially emotionally manipulated into never using it because she doesn't want to disappoint her partner. That is not a healthy environment. But that particular notion is never actually addressed.
toastyToast
Member
Dude started punching her too. How dumb can someone be?
kittenbreath
Member
Thread title should be changed to "19-yr old student charged with sexual assault after brutally raping classmate"
This wasn't the fault of a movie. It didn't happen because the guy didn't understand the etiquette of BDSM or have a safeword. He's a rapist.
mugurumakensei
Member
Typically, people know violence is wrong. Thus, violent media's influence is minimal. However, FSOG attempts to be BDSM fiction. if that's what gets you into bdsm, you are learning bad behaviour and practice from the outset.
DoktorEvil
Banned
It depends on the legality of your respective jurisdiction.
Omegasquash
Member
Yeah I'm not going to blame 50 Shades for that. I'm going to blame it on his being a violent rapist.
Truth.
This feels like an elaborate set-up for his rape fantasies.
That girl is probably traumatized for life now :/
This is what I was gonna say too
Unless they include it in a box set, that falls on your foot.
I agree.
It's an erotic fantasy, this imbecile was old enough to understand the nuance and difference between that and reality.
You can critique the book all you want, and consider the influence media has on society in a larger context, but putting any blame on the book/movie in this specific story is very misguided.
If you're a complete idiot, you can't start pointing fingers all around but yourself.
Though maybe society should be more idiot proof than i expect, and put a label on Arrow on how being a vigilante in real life isn't cool, given that one thread about it on GAF we had.
Novel Mike
Member
Well that didn't take real freaking long...
Please someone who has seen the movie does it actually go over safe words? If not, fml that is stupid.
Please someone who has seen the movie does it actually go over safe words? If not, fml that is stupid.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
it does. this isn't about safe words, the dude is a violent rapist.
Corronchilejano
Member
Stephen Kings books massively misrepresent everything and give people wrong ideas on how things work too.
Don't blame the book when it's pretty obvious who's to blame.
Mammoth Jones
Member
This is how I feel.
I thought he got arrested for re-enacting it in a play with a consenting actress or something when I read the title. This is just plain old evil.
terrisus
Member
iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
(I've never read any of the books or seen any of the movies)
AlteredForms
Banned
His parents are going to go medieval on his arse. Muslims don't bone before marriage, it's something the parents take quite seriously if the truth were to be discovered.
DoktorEvil
Banned
If it's like that, I don't see how there would be any relation to the story then.
Hell, the movie going so far as to
discuss a contract and outline what they can and cannot do.
The story would mention something along those lines.
GameGuru59
Banned
Probably a contributing factor too (if its true he was repressed). I like how quick GAF is to label the guy a monster. This is why we have such a high prison population.
They set up safe words, etc in the movie at least
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