Mr_Appleby
Member
dunno but it can make you kinda depressed that's for sure
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anecdotes from depressed gaf
- Thread starter drohne
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disappeared
Banned
It's whiskey that keeps me company, most nights.
I live in a town of 15,000. The only bar to go to on weekends winds up with the cops and ambulances there at 2am. There is nothing to do when the sun goes down.
Every night I am sitting in my living room alone. The only women in my life are girls who don't know what the fuck they want, so they pussy-foot around and don't offer anything with regards to companionship. They dodge the issues, and they're always busy. The only woman I can see is a fuck-buddy who won't be in town until april.
I've got my guitar, my notebook for stories, and that's it.
This will last me for another year or so until I can save up enough money to go to school in the big city.
GAF, you're my company.
I live in a town of 15,000. The only bar to go to on weekends winds up with the cops and ambulances there at 2am. There is nothing to do when the sun goes down.
Every night I am sitting in my living room alone. The only women in my life are girls who don't know what the fuck they want, so they pussy-foot around and don't offer anything with regards to companionship. They dodge the issues, and they're always busy. The only woman I can see is a fuck-buddy who won't be in town until april.
I've got my guitar, my notebook for stories, and that's it.
This will last me for another year or so until I can save up enough money to go to school in the big city.
GAF, you're my company.
blame space
Banned
.
Seraphis Cain
bad gameplay lol
blame space said:
All the time, yes. I'm sure living in the most depressing state in the US doesn't help.
(Fellow Ohioan here.)
bggrthnjsus
Member
i'm doing an inpatient internal medicine rotation right now, this week we've had 1 patient die, 1 patient have a stroke literally in front of us, and 1 more have to be intubated. i was supposed to see robyn on friday but she postponed until monday and i'm supposed to be on call that day, hopefully i can weasel out of it somehow.
blame space
Banned
i said that cause im watching the boondocks.. i wish i had a Mo Guns.
MaddenNFL64
Member
Oh shit. Save drohne!
disappeared
Banned
blame space said:
They have to.
But at the same time, it is up to us to define what can make a new day, a new day. Life loves to stack the odds against us. It gets us sitting in our chairs with our drinks, alone, thinking. Thinking is one of the best things we can do, but sometimes I wonder if life affords us perhaps too much time to think. Too much time to sit and wonder where it's all going.
And you're right. Sometimes hope emerges.
But life loves to stack the odds, so yeah. It often gets shot down.
We carry on, we persevere. We burn bridges, and we wonder.
disappeared
Banned
BowieZ said:
I did. Back a few years ago. After I flipped my car off of a bridge. They gave me counselling and pills. After about four months I fucked off the pills. I was a strong enough person to help myself without drugs. And today, I'm stronger for it. I'm a stronger person altogether, but some nights. Some nights. It creeps back.
blame space
Banned
drohne would you say u were "trippin balls" when you made this thread??
EDIT: those pills are bullshit they just turn you into a zombie.. when you come off of those you literally feel your brain start working again.
nothing against anyone who uses them as successful treatment, but shit..
EDIT: those pills are bullshit they just turn you into a zombie.. when you come off of those you literally feel your brain start working again.
nothing against anyone who uses them as successful treatment, but shit..
disappeared
Banned
blame space said:
speaking of which I have a mighty tasty-looking joint that's been looking at me for about an hour now. Time to start the night hahaha.
I met this girl today, for the second time, never thought i would see her again at work. i was going to actually try to talk to her, but i saw she was texting on a nice phone and she pulled pulled out her wallet stuffed with a bunch of credit cards. she looked well off. she works for this tutoring company, telling from her sweater. might have just been a sweater she owned. in that moment i just have up. i felt like she was better off and just wouldn't even give me much though. i pretty much have nothing. working at a shit store. i gave it some though and realized that it just wouldn't work. i mean she probably likes having fun, going out, and enjoys things. what would we even talk about? that what i've been thinking for the last few hours since i got off work. i just wouldn't work with any girl. i'm not even sad, just kinda weirded out. i think i just gave up on girls. i want a gf, but i don't think, or sure, i'll ever be in that place.
blame space
Banned
man.. how do you follow that post
disappeared
Banned
Vox-Pop said:
I hear ya buddy. A lot of it has to do with where you think you are. Mentally, physically, financially. It's these things that you have to 'rectify', so to speak, about yourself. But at the same time, if you're happy with who you are, that's what matters.
A lot of girls just want to go out and get loaded and laugh with their friends about the most inane bullshit. So much sometimes that it makes your head spin. It's difficult finding a woman who is content with sitting in at home at nights, just enjoying your company or a discussion about a current event or a good novel or movie. Many girls simply can't do that. They just enjoy drama, on any level.
Of course there are exceptions, but it's always a 'the many and the few' scenario.
I met a girl who was quiet and enjoyed a drink at home at nights. I told her to fuck off, just tonight in fact.
fuck that shit vox-pop. talk to her next time. you may be underestimating yourself. maybe not, but probably. you have a job, you are out in public. how many douchey looking guys do you see with super hot girls every day? you think to yourself, "vox-pop, you deserve that girl instead of captain fuckstick over there". just go for it sometime. i have kinda crappy self esteem too, but it used to be way worse. confidence is something that you can build over time.
drama?disappeared said:
i think that one of my main problems, lack of progression. i feel like i haven't become an adult or even able to survive on my own. it's probably low self esteem combined with frustration over my current life situation. i don't want to live alone, but i just want to be able to take care of myself.
just my luck, but most of the girls i meet are party chicks. can't find a girl who just wants to chill.
Mr_Appleby
Member
Vox-Pop said:
that kind of attitude will get you nowhere man. speaking from experience. what girls want from a guy is usually not what you think it is anyway. and even if it's not going to work out in the long run, you can have a lot of fun finding that out.
my problem is i'm stuck in an awful rut with very little incentive to get out of it besides what incentives i make myself. i get paid to be here also which doesn't help. i've been a long time pot smoker, you might think that would help me sleep but it's the opposite, it keeps me awake. but even if i don't smoke, i can't sleep anyway. then i stay up till 3, 4am every night, sleeping in till 10 or 11 and waking up feeling groggy and shithouse. the fact that i don't have to be up at any particular time, or leave the house at any point during the day if i don't want to is getting problematic. i'm trying to get out more, do the things i do more and start hanging out with friends i'd been slowly withdrawing from. but as easy as that sounds, i'm finding it's not and bad habits really are hard to break.
recently i've moved house and am closer to my best friends, and re-enrolled in my honours year (i ditched it six years ago) so that might be a helpful kick in the butt. i've also gone from smoking a quarter a week to about one a month which is maybe helping with motivation.
disappeared
Banned
Vox-Pop said:
Drama, meaning the majority of gals tend to just love having their heart-strings pulled. And it's the asshole dudebros who can do that so well.
Many people, girls included, don't want a challenge. And by challenge I mean being goddamned logical about things. Logic, as it so happens, evades most people their entire lives. It's the few people, yourself, and fellow posters here, who can be logical. Despite our sad, sad songs we sing to ourselves, we're still here. We continue to live and ponder ourselves and our surroundings. Whether or not that involves alcohol or your substance of choice is optional. But never discouraged.
Frustration is normal. I've been frustrated my entire life. It's from the fact that my brain won't stop ticking. Either it's thinking about a woman, or self-doubt, or planning for the future. But it never stops ticking. Frustration allows you to see yourself and things from different angles. You can better analyze your situation.
Taking care of yourself is always your primary reason d'etre. You have to be in a situation in life where you want to say, I fucking own my life. It's hard, good fucking lord is it hard. But it has to be done. At one point or another. It takes a lot of courage. But when you find it, suddenly things will seem a little more clear.
And yeah, like I said, most girls don't have the brain to just, "chill." They don't even understand it. So it's finding the one - that one - who can, and being yourself and giving a shit about her.
Same even though he seems to just be spouting lines from Office Space...Seraphis Cain said:
I'm working 51 hours a week at a fucking thrift store right now. I get paid minimum wage, even for the overtime I'm working. My day consists of mopping and sweeping the biggest thrift store in the city, lifting furniture, taking out trash, and moving heavy ass barrels filled with clothes and random objects. I'm the only person that is a native English speaker, and therefore I spend at least a third of everyday trying to figure out what my fellow Spanish-speaking colleagues are saying. I'm not a narcissist, but I feel that I am much more intellectually inclined than any of my five bosses. However, after completing a four year degree at Xavier University with a 3.4 GPA this is the best I can do. I no longer have time to do stand-up comedy on the side, and I can't seem to get any agent to help me shop my screenplay around Hollywood. I don't have a car. I've never had a legitimate girlfriend. Most of my friends have already left Ohio and those that haven't are currently in the process. So I really don't have much to look forward to in life anymore. I'm basically just waiting to die at this point.
My best friend of 15 years doesn't care enough to work on keeping our friendship intact, thus ending the one, last social link I had with someone where I could be 100% myself. My next closest friend works on the other side of the country, and since getting married has changed significantly...the point where we don't even really mesh as friends anymore.
Every friendship that I try to make goes nowhere. I have 100 acquaintances and nobody to call.
All of my internet friends that have been there through thick and thin, almost like my social rock, sit idle in their respective chat messenger programs, almost never responding to my IM's.
On any given night, if I'm lonely or down and I just want to talk to a kindred spirit, I have no one.
I have a girlfriend, but that's different than having friends. We went out with her friend tonight for her friend's boyfriend's birthday. Bunch of people at a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. Everyone talking. I'm sitting at the corner of the table, excluded entirely. I try to strike up a conversation with a few people, but it goes nowhere.
Even if I managed someone, male or female, that was even remotely interesting, I know how it will eventually end up.
I'm good enough to talk to in passing, but not good enough to keep around past short term.
The only thing I have to look forward to is when I can finally stop giving such a large fuck about trying to make new friends and just accept the fact that I most likely will not have another friend in my life that will match my ex best friend.
Every friendship that I try to make goes nowhere. I have 100 acquaintances and nobody to call.
All of my internet friends that have been there through thick and thin, almost like my social rock, sit idle in their respective chat messenger programs, almost never responding to my IM's.
On any given night, if I'm lonely or down and I just want to talk to a kindred spirit, I have no one.
I have a girlfriend, but that's different than having friends. We went out with her friend tonight for her friend's boyfriend's birthday. Bunch of people at a table at Buffalo Wild Wings. Everyone talking. I'm sitting at the corner of the table, excluded entirely. I try to strike up a conversation with a few people, but it goes nowhere.
Even if I managed someone, male or female, that was even remotely interesting, I know how it will eventually end up.
I'm good enough to talk to in passing, but not good enough to keep around past short term.
The only thing I have to look forward to is when I can finally stop giving such a large fuck about trying to make new friends and just accept the fact that I most likely will not have another friend in my life that will match my ex best friend.
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
HiResDes said:
Hmm...my answer to everything: go teach English in Korea
Get girls
Experience new culture
Try out a new you
Get girls
Travel to exotic new places
Make some decent scratch
Get girls
To you guys stuck in a rut, sometimes all you need is a serious change of scenery. I was too comfortable in Toronto living with my mother and bumming around. Going to Korea to teach was probably the best decision of my life. Had a blast. Got married. Got hit on by girls there, lulwut?! Had about 20,000 in savings when I got back. I never bothered saving, I went out to eat all the time, went to Japan, bought electronics, games, etc etc.
It can be a hellish situation for some, but if you plan and research properly, you'll have the experience of a lifetime.
TurboLibre
Member
You know what? I just typed up a three paragraph post about my depressing life these past few years. It detailed some current problems and stuff I've been battling every day of my life, and how it was wearing me down to the point of hopelessness. By the end, I was feeling really sorry for myself.
Then I deleted it.
Fuck that shit, I'm through being depressed. If life is getting real, I need to be ready to fight back. There's nothing I can't accomplish and all these problems are just going to make me stronger in the end. There will be rough patches, but that just means I'm going to enjoy the good parts of my life even more. I'm ready to take back my life. It's time to be awesome.
Then I deleted it.
Fuck that shit, I'm through being depressed. If life is getting real, I need to be ready to fight back. There's nothing I can't accomplish and all these problems are just going to make me stronger in the end. There will be rough patches, but that just means I'm going to enjoy the good parts of my life even more. I'm ready to take back my life. It's time to be awesome.
Material541
Member
Tkawsome said:
Awesome, dude. That's exactly what you need to do. Getting out of that cycle of self pity is a huge fucking step.
disappeared
Banned
HiResDes said:
Nah man just look at it like everybody lives and learns at their own pace. You are where you are. Fuckin go with it but at the same time look out for yourself and how you're doing.
TurboLibre
Member
HiResDes said:
I have a similar cycle, but it works to my benefit. I make a ton of positive changes and introduce new things into my life, making me a better person. After a while the changes become a normal part of my life and I become "stagnant". Next, I start to become depressed and eventually a bunch of shit starts to pile up at the same time, making me feel hopeless. Then I get angry and make a ton of positive changes and introduce new things into my life, restarting the cycle, but from a much better place then where I was years ago. So it's like five steps forward, one step back. If that makes any sense.
I'm an overly ambitious guy though, so if I'm not constantly moving forward I feel worthless. I wish I could keep the first part while abandoning the second.
weekend_warrior
Banned
I'm depressed but I don't like to think about it. Is that healthy?
I watched Fight Club again tonight. Ever feel like taking everything you have, burning it, and taking a bus 2000 miles away? I feel like if I was living on the street I'd have more incentive to actually do something with life.
I watched Fight Club again tonight. Ever feel like taking everything you have, burning it, and taking a bus 2000 miles away? I feel like if I was living on the street I'd have more incentive to actually do something with life.
That might be the norm if you're talking about an archaic tryciclic or an SSRI. There are several varieties of anti-depressants though, and every individual drug in each class will hit you in a slightly varying way as well, so it's generally impossible to apply blanket statements like that to the whole field.blame space said:
Although personally, fuck the entire SSRI family.
A lack of consistent friends contributes to my over all come-and-go state of depression I've been in. Some days I'm either all happy positive, others i'm so depressed i wonder why i should get out of bed. I'm optimistic of most things. Friends are not one of them. Currently I do know people i can call friends, but a lot of the time I just wonder how long I'll be entertaining to them until they cast me aside and I'm left by another group of friends.
ChubbyHuggs
Member
I'm actually okay living with my depression.
I hide it well from others and occasionally I'm happy here and there.
Life goes on.
I hide it well from others and occasionally I'm happy here and there.
Life goes on.
Vox-Pop, by any chance do you vent your frustration on GAF? I've seen a fair share of your posts that classify as salty bro.Vox-Pop said:
I kinda get how you feel though. All the girls I meet too at uni are party girls and, that isn't me. I'm a social person, just not a huge party person, and if I'm at a party I don't really dance and shit, just kinda kick back at the side and tell jokes. Looking for a girl who just wants to chill is tough, and I'm not really secure with the idea that my girl is a more social or extraverted person than me, making it more difficult to find such a girl. Only had one GF and we went out for a year and a half. Broke up. 8 months later I still want her back even though she has a BF (an old friend of mine too). The stability the right girl brings, even through all the fights and shit, is something that's desirable in my life right now and held me down.
Getting over the first confidence hump is really, really fucking hard. Whatever your goal, asking out the right girl, getting out of situations your in, finding the courage to speak up, that first move is the hardest to make. Fear and paranoia fuel emphasis on the negative outcomes that can come out of actions you make to get yourself out of whatever emotional struggle you may be in. You tend to look at all the bad things or counterintuitive things that can result from your action, and decide to stick with inaction instead. By doing this you preference and perpetuate the decision for inaction rather than action. And what happens as a result?
You get nowhere. Cycles of depression occur. Social lives deteriorate. You begin to lose friends, and mental stability. This makes getting out of the state of inaction even harder. I say this cause I've been through it. Yes, no piece of advice works for everyone, but when you see shit online, and hear stuff stuff from friends like "hey man stop worrying and just fucking do it," you have a tendency to be cynical and think "oh that's great and all for you but it won't work for me."
So, sad and lonely me, after several rejections, and bouts of depression completely eradicating all confidence in me, just decided one day I had nothing to lose. This is an important lesson to learn. You have nothing to lose. Try, for the love of god try, and keep trying, and one day, results will be favourable for you, and you will reap the emotional, and perhaps later, physical rewards. So I just made that move. Talked to the girl, said we should hang out some time. She asked for my number (was completely oblivious that this was even a sign of interest) and two movie
Not only does that become a personal learning experience, but it also gave me a bit of faith in myself that I hadn't felt before. Faith that I was competent in what I could do, what I could change in my life, if I just stopped being lazy as shit and did something to get out of my own pitiful situation. DepressedGAF, specifically to those afflicted with issues about girls, if I could get out of my shitty situation, you can too. And I say that thinking the utmost lowest of my own terrible bouts of depression I had. If I am capable of changing things, any of you should be, and thinking that you are not is detrimental to the cause and perpetuates whatever stigmas you have in your own head.
---
That said, right now I am depressed with the current state of my social life and women and all that, but I plan to change that once I meet the right girl. Just not a fan of "loose" girls, who are all I tend to meet. Meeting a classy chick at 18? Yeah, hard as fuck.
I must add that, to get through some of this, music can be therapy. Party of the reason why I'm such a huge Kanye and CuDi fan. Kanye spits some real life stuff in pretty much every song, that I can relate to conceptually. And the entirety of CuDi's first album is pretty much the perfect therapy when I am depressed. It's self reflective, self realizing, but yet it conveys the true emotions and feelings perfectly without sounding like suicidal music and getting you demotivated. Soundtrack 2 My Life is literally the soundtrack to my life, I'm the most paranoid motherfucker alive. Followed up with Up, Up & Away, I give myself that feeling of hope when sometimes you wish the entire world would go silent indefinitely.
weekend_warrior
Banned
Man, I see in GAF the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
Aesius
Member
I get depressed as hell every time I end up at my apartment alone. Right now is one of those times. I'm utterly terrified of the day I have to live alone. I'd almost rather end up in some shitty relationship just so I won't have to.
Speaking of relationships: I'm doing fairly well in the dating scene, but it's actually making me more depressed because I haven't found anyone I like. And my ex sent me a message on FB telling me how much she misses me, but that we can't be together because she doesn't want to commit to anyone right now. So now I'm thinking about her all the time again. Lame.
I'm really just hanging on by a thread of happiness right now. I'm functional. In November/December, I was barely functional. I was extremely, extremely depressed - so much so that one night I called my mom at 3 a.m. and cried my eyes out over nothing. And the scary thing is, I'm pretty close to slipping back into that at any time.
Speaking of relationships: I'm doing fairly well in the dating scene, but it's actually making me more depressed because I haven't found anyone I like. And my ex sent me a message on FB telling me how much she misses me, but that we can't be together because she doesn't want to commit to anyone right now. So now I'm thinking about her all the time again. Lame.
I'm really just hanging on by a thread of happiness right now. I'm functional. In November/December, I was barely functional. I was extremely, extremely depressed - so much so that one night I called my mom at 3 a.m. and cried my eyes out over nothing. And the scary thing is, I'm pretty close to slipping back into that at any time.
From a young age, you're told that believing in yourself and dreaming is corny. You're taught to submit to the system, your taught if you don't have a degree or diploma you can't be successful. You're taught if you play video games your a social outcast. If you don't challenge what others put before you and submit to the predominant paradigms of society and the media, you'll fall to those paradigms that undermine your confidence as well.weekend_warrior said:
As a result we get shit like this. People in colleges are more depressed than ever, peoples lives in urban centres are more depressed than ever. Life has become stressful, a chore, something you have to put up with, when it should never be like this. I look on GAF and also see people who are probably incredibly competent and potentially fully functioning members of society too. Even that guy who got banned after saying he's done all those horrible things like having sex with his sister and all that, he was just a victim of the pressures that succumbed him. And you see people like this everywhere, dealing with these struggles that they just SHOULDN'T be dealing with in the first place. I try my best when I find these people, usually close friends, to be a shrink, and of aid. Because really, when you've been in the shithole, you feel for those people going through that shit now. Threads like this are good because they let people vent and there is always that slight chance that something posted WILL help someone. And 1 person being helped is better than none.
Sorry if this is too unicorns and rainbows for you guys, but this is real talk. I'm being honest with all of this.
Whatever you do, don't drink all the cold medicine in the house and then down a full bottle of ibuprofen on an empty stomach. You'll end up puking your guts out for half an hour, dry heaving for another, and then passing out on the bathroom floor for over 24 hours. And holy shit you'll feel terrible for the next week.
Is it ok to not feel like being in a relationship at all? Like I was in one for a long time, but it ended last summer. Now I have no desire to be in another one even though all my friends do. I feel it is just something else to have to deal with on top of school, job, etc. and not worth it at the time being.
revolverjgw
Member
Ulairi said:
What do you mean?
Eric Hall said:
It's the only feeling I've ever known. I have no desire for it, but I can't exactly say I'm comfortable with it... I feel like there's something wrong with me, or at least that's the way the people around me make me feel.
ChubbyHuggs
Member
I don't think so, I'm right there with ya.Eric Hall said:
Just about everyone on my facebook is an acquaintance barring my family and like 3-4 people I know, one whom is in Uni. Every time I try to plan a meet up(with an acquaintance) or even just try to meet new people, it always seems to fall through like people just aren't interested in even being friends with me.
It's incredibly frustrating, I should note I'm not really depressed at all but this bums me out, I'm not a dick, I'm a nice guy, a great listener and I like to make people laugh but there just doesn't seem to be people in my age group (early 20's, I'm 20) that care to make friends.
The only real way it seems people in my age group like to get together/know each other is either:
A) Getting shit-faced, (drugs/booze)
B) Religion
For A) I don't mind people getting drunk of using drugs recreationally, but that's just not for me and I don't know if I ever want it to be.
For B) I spent eight years dealing with this shit, I'm not gonna deal with those narrow minded people again.
It's incredibly frustrating, I should note I'm not really depressed at all but this bums me out, I'm not a dick, I'm a nice guy, a great listener and I like to make people laugh but there just doesn't seem to be people in my age group (early 20's, I'm 20) that care to make friends.
The only real way it seems people in my age group like to get together/know each other is either:
A) Getting shit-faced, (drugs/booze)
B) Religion
For A) I don't mind people getting drunk of using drugs recreationally, but that's just not for me and I don't know if I ever want it to be.
For B) I spent eight years dealing with this shit, I'm not gonna deal with those narrow minded people again.
GillianSeed79
Member
revolverjgw said:
sorry
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