Subpar Scrub
Banned
Yeah fair enough dude. If you need to vent it's all good, it's also great to hear that she's keen and you're enjoying yourself.
The greatest mystery of Gaf.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Yeah fair enough dude. If you need to vent it's all good, it's also great to hear that she's keen and you're enjoying yourself.
The greatest mystery of Gaf.
Count Dookkake
Member
Recently hooked up with a young cutie. Been having great success using Halloween III pics in lieu of texting.
Messofanego
Banned
How many dates have you ever been on? Texting is completely fine to ask for a date, especially when she's not picking up the phone. You're overthinking this. That survey shows preference, it doesn't mean texting is forbidden depending on age lol.
you sound like an expert
More than I can count. Been married once too!
Okay. I am older (44), and I've just never texted for a first date before. A 3rd or 4th, but never a first.
Spoiled Milk
Banned
You mean you don't get to shoot!
Messofanego
Banned
Is this just a generational thing? Cause texting for a first date is pretty normal these days. Your personal preference is to call, right? And she's not picking up. So, why not text then in this special circumstance? Or are you just going to keep on calling only?
ZackieChan
Member
I'm concerned that she's gonna see like 4 calls from him, then a text. It's like that scene in Swingers where he leaves a million answering machine messages. I'd be turned off.
Must be, just didn't know it was.
Yeah, I prefer to call and/or be called - I actually mostly prefer doing it in person, but that's obviously rarely feasible. I was more perplexed by not being able to leave a message. Who leaves their voicemail full?
She ended up picking up when I called her later.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Oh god. I'm never picking up the phone for numbers I don't recognize. And even then, text me ahead of time to ask if it's a good time to call. If I know you and you're calling me, I expect that it's an emergency.
I hate the phone; I love in person. Asynchronous communication is just easier, better, and less... rude?
Also, I'm 34. But this is the general outlook from literally everyone I know in my life. The only person I call out of the blue is my mother.
... I also don't use voicemail, even at work. I've never checked it and I never will. Send me an email instead so that I know what you're talking about. "Hi, it's Joe. Calll me back when you get the chance" is fucking worthless.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I feel anxiety every time the phone rings. I fucking hate talking on the phone. Last GF used to be all like "you never call me" so I tried calling her sometimes and it was just awkward. I'm not a good phone talker person.
Yeah I hate talking on the phone too. It's doubly annoying if I'm being called at work and can't pick up. I can text at work when I have downtime, but a missed phone call I'm just going to forget about
I've heard plenty of people go "but I hate texting!!!!" and it's like.... It's not the days of T9 anymore. It's not that hard. Like duh a keyboard is better but phones have pretty good digital keyboards nowsadays... Even if I keep missing the M key and hit backspace
I've heard plenty of people go "but I hate texting!!!!" and it's like.... It's not the days of T9 anymore. It's not that hard. Like duh a keyboard is better but phones have pretty good digital keyboards nowsadays... Even if I keep missing the M key and hit backspace
Megalosaro
Banned
I don't really care for texting.... but I straight out hate talking on the phone.
Mostly because I spend 8 hours a day on the phone at work. The last thing I wanna do is talk on the phone
Mostly because I spend 8 hours a day on the phone at work. The last thing I wanna do is talk on the phone
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Word reached me that my ex and the guy I was told not to worry about broke up.
Im not really sure how to take it, but not in the sense I want to get back with her. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss her and there's no feelings still there but I can never forgive her for what she did and the way she broke up with me. Still I don't wish any bad on her but at the same time I can't help feeling like this is a massive piece of karma that she deserves.
She wrote a lengthy post on Instagram basically saying she'll never understand how someone can say they love you one day, but in the same day say you're not right for each other, and just because it's not felt by the other person It doesn't make it any less real for the person in love. She'll never understand how people can lie, give up and hurt each other so much. Like Seriously?
The irony is she did the exact the same stuff on the day we broke up. Made me feel bad for being right about this guy and completely cut me out of her life like i meant nothing.
So well done, you threw away what we had for a guy that you knew had no problem undermining other people's relationships (no surprise to hear he's already moved on). For a guy that after 7 months together thought you weren't right for each other.
/ End rant
Im not really sure how to take it, but not in the sense I want to get back with her. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss her and there's no feelings still there but I can never forgive her for what she did and the way she broke up with me. Still I don't wish any bad on her but at the same time I can't help feeling like this is a massive piece of karma that she deserves.
She wrote a lengthy post on Instagram basically saying she'll never understand how someone can say they love you one day, but in the same day say you're not right for each other, and just because it's not felt by the other person It doesn't make it any less real for the person in love. She'll never understand how people can lie, give up and hurt each other so much. Like Seriously?
The irony is she did the exact the same stuff on the day we broke up. Made me feel bad for being right about this guy and completely cut me out of her life like i meant nothing.
So well done, you threw away what we had for a guy that you knew had no problem undermining other people's relationships (no surprise to hear he's already moved on). For a guy that after 7 months together thought you weren't right for each other.
/ End rant
ZackieChan
Member
Why are you still following her on Instagram? You shouldn't know that any of this is happening, if THIS is how you're reacting to it.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
I'm not.
On the day we broke up she blocked me on pretty much everything, and I did the same back. I could never block her on Instagram because she got there first.
I've got no idea when she unblocked me, I only seen the post because it was one of the photos instead suggested based on mutual friends liking it.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
I already knew that, and seeing her post just reiterated​ it.
No matter how good we were together, we were always a little too wrong for each other. Her insecurities and double standards when it comes to interacting with the other sex, past flames etc was always going to be there, and it's not something I want to be a part of ever again
Not to derail...
I've gotten in trouble over misunderstood text messages/email, never been misunderstood in a phone conversation or in person.
A majority of communication is non-verbal, even if you're not face to face; HOW you say something is just as important as what you say. When texting, all those non-verbal cues are stripped away, and usually, the other person will filter your words through their own moods. Unless it's a business letter or something, I just feel like I have more control over my communication when they can hear and/or see me.
I've gotten in trouble over misunderstood text messages/email, never been misunderstood in a phone conversation or in person.
A majority of communication is non-verbal, even if you're not face to face; HOW you say something is just as important as what you say. When texting, all those non-verbal cues are stripped away, and usually, the other person will filter your words through their own moods. Unless it's a business letter or something, I just feel like I have more control over my communication when they can hear and/or see me.
I used to give my ex shit about not calling too, but it was only if we didn't see each other for more than 7 days. He didn't like it either, but it's a lot more personal than a text. Suck it up once in a while I'd say. It doesn't have to be an extensive conversation, but it's a nice gesture. If my ex was great at communicating through text I likely would have let it go to be fair. If the communication is already great and consistent then eh it's not a big deal, but still nice once in a while. Also voice messages are a nice cute alternative too
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I can't talk or text on the phone. Checkmate losers.
Actually I used to be able to hold conversations on the phone, and then I got self-conscious about everything.
Actually I used to be able to hold conversations on the phone, and then I got self-conscious about everything.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I'm 43, you're experience matches mine. I will say that in my experience women prefer to talk than use text based communication. However, it's more convenient to use text messages and nowadays they are comfortable with that. That being said, women like confidence and if you are confident enough to call them (and you can hold a conversation), that's got to be a plus.
Megalosaro
Banned
I have the opposite experience, personally.
I don't really know anyone that likes to talk on the phone. Maybe it's generational. Or maybe it's an LA thing. I dunno.
I've used 25 minutes this month with my phone as a phone. All of it to my parents.
Months go by where I don't use my phone to talk at all.
I don't really know anyone that likes to talk on the phone. Maybe it's generational. Or maybe it's an LA thing. I dunno.
I've used 25 minutes this month with my phone as a phone. All of it to my parents.
Months go by where I don't use my phone to talk at all.
Krauser Kat
Member
im 31 and i think most people under 35 talked with their friends over AIM and AOL when we were kids and did SO much of our socialization that way when we were younger.
I love to tell stories and enact things on dates and get physical in the conversation. Naturally that works better over the phone then through text. I send lots of images though. Usually i will draw little comics to illustrate a point (or even just a picture of the girl i met on tinder (this works like 95% of the time they are super flattered, the other percent find it creepy))
I think women generally have larger friend groups and its easier to text 10 people then maybe my 3 best guy friends.
That Target thread of hot women is fucking hilarious the amount of people who want to go around trying to fuck women in department stores.
I love to tell stories and enact things on dates and get physical in the conversation. Naturally that works better over the phone then through text. I send lots of images though. Usually i will draw little comics to illustrate a point (or even just a picture of the girl i met on tinder (this works like 95% of the time they are super flattered, the other percent find it creepy))
I think women generally have larger friend groups and its easier to text 10 people then maybe my 3 best guy friends.
That Target thread of hot women is fucking hilarious the amount of people who want to go around trying to fuck women in department stores.
Barrel Cannon
Member
Ah ok, I didn't read the previous posts so didn't know.
I still haven't seen that movie. I walked in during that scene accidentally and keep hoping year after year that I will forget it and see it one day. I somehow always end up reading a reference about it and put it off.
Ultramantaro1
Member
I only call family members. Friends and dates are through text. I'll save the speaking for in person. Usually a handful of texts to set up a meeting and then silence.
If we have been going on a few dates and things are going well, I might add some communication between hanging out, but nothing excessive. Like 1 short exchange (2-3 texts back and forth) over a day or two. Depends on the girl of course. The girl I'm seeing now and very enamoured with is on the same page.
If we have been going on a few dates and things are going well, I might add some communication between hanging out, but nothing excessive. Like 1 short exchange (2-3 texts back and forth) over a day or two. Depends on the girl of course. The girl I'm seeing now and very enamoured with is on the same page.
Yeah, you and I are the same age, and we started dating long before cell-phones, or even the internet. So it's just a different mentality we've grown up with. When I date women who are closer to my age, online/text interaction is far less frequent than when I date younger women. I just kinda go with the flow.
But like I said earlier, I actually enjoy non-verbal communication, and feel that I excel at it. Texting is great for stuff like "meet you there at 7", but for actual communication, and establishing a point of view it's not ideal, especially when putting yourself out there for a first date. For example, I can't joke or be flirty in a text, I can't really reference a previous conversation without a wall of text, which is just awkward - all the tools that help establish a mood and appropriate intentions, and ultimately a connection, aren't available to me in text.
I actually find this difference/disparity between old dating Gaf vs young dating Gaf endlessly fascinating, especially when I'm dating younger women, though I mostly date around my age, and I do try to stick to the rule of half my age + 7 and the girl I called last night is right at that cutt-off. I did once go out with a 26 year old (didn't know she was that young, and she didn't know I was this old), and she was honestly too young - she was sweet, but just tough to relate to.
Miles Quaritch
Member
velociraptor, you're supposed to be sexy, not sexist.
Come on my dude...
Come on my dude...
Is there ever a good reason to mention the other potential romantic partners when you're on a date with someone?
A female friend of mine was telling me about a guy she has a first date with tonight. He's apparently told her about girls blowing up his texts or how his ex wants to get back together. My immediate reaction was "That guy's either too honest or playing games...trying to induce jealousy and set himself up as a hot commodity"
A female friend of mine was telling me about a guy she has a first date with tonight. He's apparently told her about girls blowing up his texts or how his ex wants to get back together. My immediate reaction was "That guy's either too honest or playing games...trying to induce jealousy and set himself up as a hot commodity"
Miles Quaritch
Member
Sounds like drama that's better avoided.
That article is two years old. Maybe 32 year old prefer texting by now. I know I do.
Megalosaro
Banned
I think it's bad form, personally.
Messofanego
Banned
Whatsapp voice messages are a nice in-between when you're not sure if they're off work or aren't free for a call. Obviously I prefer calling to get those 1-2 hour conversations but I'll text beforehand if they're free, not cold call them.
There's this girl saying I can't even call her until after Ramadan finishes lol. I get not going out on a date during Ramadan, but c'mon. Seems suspicious. I'm not as into her as she's into me but now she's gone cold so I might just have to call it quits soon.
There's this girl saying I can't even call her until after Ramadan finishes lol. I get not going out on a date during Ramadan, but c'mon. Seems suspicious. I'm not as into her as she's into me but now she's gone cold so I might just have to call it quits soon.
neurosyphilis
Definitely not an STD, as I'm a pure.
What if the girl you like mentions her ex boyfriend?
...in what context?
neurosyphilis
Definitely not an STD, as I'm a pure.
We were talking about music she likes. I said "Oh you're really into that ?" And she says "Yeah me ex boyfriend got me hooked on it."
Edit- I may be overthinking things.
As a one-off? Let it go. It'd only be a red flag if she brings him up often.
Messofanego
Banned
Don't see anything wrong in that, if it's just a one off that the ex introduced her to some music. If she starts going on about the ex multiple times, then it might be signs that she's still not over him.
I mean it's not like she said, "Yeah my ex boyfriend got me hooked on that music. He had an enormous penis."
I wouldn't think too much into it
If someone asked me about a certain band or show I'd probably say the same
Raptomex
Member
You are. She discovered and liked something at the time she was dating somebody else. She still likes music, the boyfriend is gone. That's how I'm seeing this.
Thank you. I'm at work trying not to laugh too loudly. I'm just thinking of what my reaction would be if a girl said this to me.
timetokill
Banned
Definitely overthinking it. Especially if she was with the ex for any real length of time.
I don't bring up my ex often but occasionally she comes up in a story because, hey, we were together for like 8 years. Life happened.
As long as she isn't pining after him or comparing you two, you're fine.
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