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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Mediking

Member
It's not even about fapping or not. Sex is pretty stressful, especially if you build it up or haven't has it in a while.

Trust me, you're overhyping. The moment it doesn't feel the way you expect it, and something goes wrong you are going to panic. Cue limp dick

Whatever your idea is, it's probably stupid. That sounds harsh and mean, but I mean it in the kindest way possible. Don't do something over the top or complicated. Just act normal. It's simple. It really is.

Hmmm... yeah I really do blame entertainment for that. Entertainmemt has hyped it up like crazy in my head. Thanks for that.

^this is real shit lol

when i first popped my cherry, it was on a girl i was crushing on in college really hard. I was so nervous that i honestly couldn't even really get any pleasure out of it, despite fantasizing about her for like months

I guess she really enjoyed it because she was super into round 2 the next morning, but since I had calmed down I had degraded into a 10-pump chump LOL

that became disappointing quickly

!?!?!?!?! Whoaaaa...
 
Yeah, it took me 4 tries and viagra before I could have sex with my current gf. Now it's not an issue.

And this wasn't even my first time. It had been 4 years since my last time, plus I REALLY like this girl.

I had over hyped it. Don't do that.
 
I don't have a date lined up till the first week of August. Cited she's busy with work, she gave me that date as I guess the earliest she's available and that was about it. She didn't even respond to my message agreeing to it. I didn't even care enough to ask for her phone number and I don't think we've communicated since last week. I'm not even checking her dating profile nor am I sending "please respond" messages to open up a line of dialogue. I don't think I even care enough to. I personally think it's either going to happen or she'll randomly back out of it. I'm pretty much taking a whatever happens happens approach and I'm just living my life.
 
Yeah, it took me 4 tries and viagra before I could have sex with my current gf. Now it's not an issue.

And this wasn't even my first time. It had been 4 years since my last time, plus I REALLY like this girl.

I had over hyped it. Don't do that.

Confidence really is key. And I don't mean it in the traditional sense. I mean in being comfortable. I had a girl walk out on me 2 years ago because I couldn't keep it up. I thought there was something wrong with me.

Current girl? (Or other girls this year, for that matter?) No issues at all: I'm just comfortable around them and I know that I know what I'm doing.
 
I like having a few drinks in me before I have sex.

Beer can give you a bloated feel but a few glasses of wine'll loosen ya up. Adds stamina. Just dont drink too much.
 

Mediking

Member
Listen to Megalo. He was freaking out about all this a few weeks ago, and look at how nonchalant his advice is now.

Yeah, it took me 4 tries and viagra before I could have sex with my current gf. Now it's not an issue.

And this wasn't even my first time. It had been 4 years since my last time, plus I REALLY like this girl.

I had over hyped it. Don't do that.

Hmmmmm.... yeah. Seriously. Thanks everybody.
 

Salamando

Member
I've been poking fun at myself about this situation ever since I receieved good advice earlier in this thread...
Sometimes I hate it when you poke fun at yourself. With some of your posts, I can't tell what parts are serious and which parts aren't...makes it damn hard to offer good, honest feedback. It almost comes across as a glib dismissal of our advice.
Everyone in this topic is gross 😩

I'm kidding. Mostly.
<No lies detected>
 

FyreWulff

Member
I did the 26 mile Lincon pilgrimage on the bicentennial of his birthday. I had done 0 prep or hiking before. Pretty sure I almost died. I'm still not sure how I finished. Always do hiking prep.

I went to our Schramm state park. It wasn't even the trail yet. It was just the steep as fuck road that leads up to one of the trail points. It felt like I was doing a human tractor pull or something

The upside after that intro was the rest of the hike was relatively easy

In my opinion, if you never end meeting up with a guy/girl than ghosting is well within reason. However, if some takes you out on date, pays, makes plans, etc. then I think it's wrong to leave someone hanging just because you don't have the courage (let's be honest, this is probably the #1 reason for ghosting) to tell someone you don't want to see them anymore is cowardly IMO. That goes doubly for guys.

your money ain't worth shit homie, and they don't exchange kindness coins for sex at the bank
 

massoluk

Banned
Asked Condo Sales Girl if she want to hang out after work. She sent a smiley, a pic of her on vacation with her friends on the country side and said she was on leave with her friends and she will call me.

I have a shot, right?
 

Mediking

Member
Sometimes I hate it when you poke fun at yourself. With some of your posts, I can't tell what parts are serious and which parts aren't...makes it damn hard to offer good, honest feedback. It almost comes across as a glib dismissal of our advice.

I'm sorry. Whenever I try to be witty or funny... I almost always crash and burn on GAF. Lol my bad.

Lemme be clear that I really do take you guys advice and I really do plan bringing actual results.

You guys have been helping me. No joke.

You guys helped me come to peace with losing my virginity. And that was really the biggest reason that was holding me back from dating.
 
Lol. I sometimes just delete my Tinder and change my profile around and start again. This one girl every time I restarted it I would match with but we never actually said anything to each other. So just a bit ago I was like "hey, this is like the 3rd or 4th time we matched. Guess its time to break the ice. So hey! How are you? How was your weekend?"

2 min later. *unmatched* lol
 
I hear that. My last ex I was with for only 5 or 6 months and that hurt every bit as much as the one I was with for 8 years. It wasnt as life changing but the heart ached probably even worse.
 
Okay guys, I'm trying out the whole Tinder/online dating thing. I just started this week and I've got two matches. From other stories and following this thread for a while, I know I need to open with something better than "Hey." Should I be funny, tie what I say to what they said in their bio, or just start simple? The only line I know is Dev's from Master of None.

Thinking about it, I have two matches, so I could always try one approach with one and another with the second.
 
A girl messaged me today opening with "what makes you happy?"

Caught me off guard a little but we have been having a good conversation because of it.
 
I like having a few drinks in me before I have sex.

Beer can give you a bloated feel but a few glasses of wine'll loosen ya up. Adds stamina. Just dont drink too much.
I can understand that.

Still a virgin at 32, and while I'm not exactly Brad Pitt here, not exactly Hunchback of Notre Dame, either. Objectively, I would describe myself as decent.

But being a man who likes his alcohol, I totally understand the concept of liquid courage.

But I gotta say this right now. Maybe it's BC I'm especially introverted, but even when I have been HAMMERED in the past, and even now, even when I"m really buzzed ATM, inhibitions do not magically disappear even under the influence. They only decrease. They do NOT magically disappear into thin air. Not by any means. Granted, I can only speak for myself.
 

Gizuko

Member
Hello everyone! First time posting, so I'll try to keep this brief:

What do you all consider before [swipping right]? (Not necessarily literally, but before considering someone as a potential date).

To be honest, I do know what values I want a love interest to have but, I kind of fear that without having a proper answer to the question above, I'll just go along with whatever I find - and I really can't find an answer.

Actually, while typing this I'm wondering if the real issue here is my not knowing why I want a relationship, thus not knowing what to look for.

All in all, I'm afraid of trying online dating while not being in the right mindset to date (OP really got me thinking, perhaps too much).
 

FyreWulff

Member
Hello everyone! First time posting, so I'll try to keep this brief:

What do you all consider before [swipping right]? (Not necessarily literally, but before considering someone as a potential date).

To be honest, I do know what values I want a love interest to have but, I kind of fear that without having a proper answer to the question above, I'll just go along with whatever I find - and I really can't find an answer.

Actually, while typing this I'm wondering if the real issue here is my not knowing why I want a relationship, thus not knowing what to look for.

All in all, I'm afraid of trying online dating while not being in the right mindset to date (OP really got me thinking, perhaps too much).

Glance at a person's info. Decide if you'd like to talk to them. Like them, and move on and look for more people.

You should be making effort to contact maybe like 10-20 people a day. I always try to tell people, don't treat it like you're shopping for someone. You're sifting through the crowd to see who you might like. You will need to eat rejections.
 

Peltz

Member
I don't have a date lined up till the first week of August. Cited she's busy with work, she gave me that date as I guess the earliest she's available and that was about it. She didn't even respond to my message agreeing to it. I didn't even care enough to ask for her phone number and I don't think we've communicated since last week. I'm not even checking her dating profile nor am I sending "please respond" messages to open up a line of dialogue. I don't think I even care enough to. I personally think it's either going to happen or she'll randomly back out of it. I'm pretty much taking a whatever happens happens approach and I'm just living my life.

Honestly, delete her info and move on. Don't deal with that kind of shit.

I tried to make it work with someone who was "busy all the time" but all the relationship did was make me feel marginalized. You deserve better and should have higher expectations than that.

Is she hot? If no swipe left.

It's "if I'd do her," not "whether she's hot." Respect the game.
 

bluethree

Member
I did a ton of ghosting this year. But I'm also a huge pussy.

i've gone the complete opposite way and now practice straight honesty even with people i haven't met yet

on the flip side, i have no patience for bad dates anymore and leave early without remorse, so i guess i'm just a different kind of jerk now
 

Mr Swine

Banned
Anyone have any idea what to do if nobody ever replies to mail I've sent sent to or visits my online dating profile? So far only 2 people have written back in the last 6 months but they have stopped writing back. Please don't say that I should go out to bars, there is only 1 here and everyone gets drunk and that's not even fun.

Or should I just give up? I feel like living in a small city, looking below average and being plain stupid is just a lose lose situation for me :/
 

Llyranor

Member
Looks is a lot about presentation. Even if you think you look "below average", there's a lot that can be done to be more appealing. Building a better physique at the gym, getting a nice haircut, getting nicer fitting clothes. And more important, it will also help improve your confidence, which is one of the most attractive traits.

And you need good pictures. Get a friend to snap pics of you on various outings. You can't just take a bathroom selfie and call it a day.
 

gaiages

Banned
Anyone have any idea what to do if nobody ever replies to mail I've sent sent to or visits my online dating profile? So far only 2 people have written back in the last 6 months but they have stopped writing back. Please don't say that I should go out to bars, there is only 1 here and everyone gets drunk and that's not even fun.

Or should I just give up? I feel like living in a small city, looking below average and being plain stupid is just a lose lose situation for me :/

Something tells me your profile text is so overly negative and your pictures are shot in a way that makes you look as bad as possible that is scares people away from responding. So let's start with that. Care to share your profile, publicly or privately?
 
Lol, I was wondering why this thread gained like 4 pages in such a short time. Crazy stuff.

Anyway, I'm done with being an asshole here and droning on about how "I'll totes set up my dating profile eventually" so I'm setting myself a deadline of 8pm Sunday AEST to have my photos done and tinder and shit set up and going. Fuck my anxiety around taking pictures of myself, I'll take 5000 of the bloody things if it means finding ones I think look good. I'll also try to finish "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" before then, I'm 12ish pages in and it's been a fun read on my phone on the treadmill.

Will report back on Sunday night.
 

gaiages

Banned
Lol, I was wondering why this thread gained like 4 pages in such a short time. Crazy stuff.

Anyway, I'm done with being an asshole here and droning on about how "I'll totes set up my dating profile eventually" so I'm setting myself a deadline of 8pm Sunday AEST to have my photos done and tinder and shit set up and going. Fuck my anxiety around taking pictures of myself, I'll take 5000 of the bloody things if it means finding ones I think look good. I'll also try to finish "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" before then, I'm 12ish pages in and it's been a fun read on my phone on the treadmill.

Will report back on Sunday night.

Heck yeah bro, we believe in you, get that perfect selfie :)
 

Mr Swine

Banned
Something tells me your profile text is so overly negative and your pictures are shot in a way that makes you look as bad as possible that is scares people away from responding. So let's start with that. Care to share your profile, publicly or privately?

It's in Swedish and it's no where near any negativity in the texts. It's rather short and not some 5000 word essay most put out. And I think the pictures look ok. I realt don't know how to share a profile like the one on badoo
 

gaiages

Banned
It's in Swedish and it's no where near any negativity in the texts. It's rather short and not some 5000 word essay most put out. And I think the pictures look ok. I realt don't know how to share a profile like the one on badoo

Okay that's a good step! Also since you're in Sweden I have no clue how big or small your city actually is, or what other apps to try out :(

If you wanna PM any of the regulars your pictures to make sure they're on the up and up, I'd suggest doing so. I think Salamando and ZackieChan tends to look at others' profile pictures. Or something.
 
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