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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Not open for further replies.
P

Prime crotch

Banned
The other day I saw this girl for the first time since we stopped talking, she was kinda ignant racist with me basically, and she acted weird when she saw me, but not how you'd expect. She was very cutesy awkward, nice and friendly, "we never spoke again!" and I was kinda flabbergasted. I guess she being almost 9 years younger than me wasn't enough to clue me into that maybe she's just very cheery and handsy with everyone and I saw something that wasn't there.

(my dumb ass still would give her the benefit of the doubt cause I was mad head over heels for her)
 
G

Gizuko

Member
Thank you everyone for your replies! I'll keep that in mind, because I was really overthinking how to approach online dating.

I don't think I'll be able to reach 10-20 matches a day though, as I live in the suburbs and am... Really picky. Need to get over that at some point though.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Gizuko said:
Thank you everyone for your replies! I'll keep that in mind, because I was really overthinking how to approach online dating.

I don't think I'll be able to reach 10-20 matches a day though, as I live in the suburbs and am... Really picky. Need to get over that at some point though.
Click to expand...

Well it depends on WHAT you're picky on.

As long as you don't expect your ideal woman to be a hot chemist that's 5'6" or under, with blonde hair and an hourglass figure that's also a vegan and has the same favorite video game as you, some standards are fine.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Peltz said:
Honestly, delete her info and move on. Don't deal with that kind of shit.

I tried to make it work with someone who was "busy all the time" but all the relationship did was make me feel marginalized. You deserve better and should have higher expectations than that.
Click to expand...
It's just OKC messages, but yeah I probably should delete them since I haven't heard a word from her since Friday (last time she pulled this I just assumed she ghosted me). I guess it's pretty rude if she can't even reply with a "can't wait to see you" or whatever on her end within a respectable timely fashion. I'm not too emotionally invested in this since I didn't even ask for her contact info.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Gizuko said:
Thank you everyone for your replies! I'll keep that in mind, because I was really overthinking how to approach online dating.

I don't think I'll be able to reach 10-20 matches a day though, as I live in the suburbs and am... Really picky. Need to get over that at some point though.
Click to expand...

You can be picky all you want. You just have to recognize that if you want to date 10/10 insta models and you are not on that plane of attractiveness of don't have other interesting things to make up for it then you wont be super successful. If you are fine with that then it's w/e.

You just can't be that painfully average dude who only swipes on bombshells then wonders why he can't get matches. Be self aware to an extent, keep it in check. But you dont have to have 0 standards.
 
G

Gizuko

Member
It's actually pretty simple: I don't find piercings to be especially alluring.

On top of that, one of my friends got one of those nostril rings, and while they aren't too bad, I find them distracting, specially whenever she spins it or touches it.

And most people here have them.

As for beauty standards, I think I'm safe: I'm all about the smile, any average girl with a nice smile is fine by me - I feel like a dick, pun intended, after saying this though.
 
R

Ralemont

not me
Gizuko said:
As for beauty standards, I think I'm safe: I'm all about the smile, any average girl with a nice smile is fine by me - I feel like a dick, pun intended, after saying this though.
Click to expand...

That's a pretty tame physical standard, no reason to feel bad for it. In general you should not be made to feel bad for requiring physical attraction to date someone. Yes that type of thing CAN grow over time, but someone you get along with but aren't physically attracted to could just as well be a good friend. Date the people you're attracted to, don't date the people you aren't.
 
A

asagami_

Banned
I screwed up with this girl because I went a bit pushy trying to call to her phone and now she unfriended me from FB. The last thing she said me in Whatsapp was we can know each other just as friends, only when we hang out with our mutual group of friends.

I... I know what that means, I still like her, but I was idiot, a big idiot, so I will move on, I already delete her info from my phone and I don't expect to try to impress her if I see her again. I will act normal, like I should have been from the start.

I left my anxiety control me, but now I know sleep few hours make it worse. Sometimes I think if I'm trying to sabotage me myself, either for don't to be happy or for have a excuse to move on from this girl. Both ideas scares me a lot.

Still, something good happened to trying to impress her, and it's I'm reading books daily. I am going to finish A Game of Thrones today, and because I'm hooked to the book, I will try to buy today A Clash of Kings. I'm working out myself, eating better and finally, I'm losing weight, too. I want to wear certain shirt I really love but I need to be really fit.

I know I'm writing a lot, but I'm a lonely person and I don't share my true feelings to anyone, so that's why I'm venting this here to share them and try to calm myself. My anxiety already left me yesterday at the night, after she told me that words in Whatsapp (that is why I think I'm trying to sabotage me myself), but I'm a bit sad. I am selfish and I know I was wrong with my former actions, but I would like to being hugged for someone. I will work with my inner problems to be a person who deserve to be hugged and loved for someone.
 
HORRORSHØW

HORRORSHØW

Member
There's this cute girl at work who my friend is interested in. I basically started talking to her for him. Long story short, she says she's not interested in him. But every time I see her she pokes me. Truth is, I was interested in her, too, but was hesitant because I recently got out of bad break up. I don't even have a question. I'm just curious how this will play out.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
asagami_ said:
I screwed up with this girl because I went a bit pushy trying to call to her phone and now she unfriended me from FB. The last thing she said me in Whatsapp was we can know each other just as friends, only when we hang out with our mutual group of friends.

I... I know what that means, I still like her, but I was idiot, a big idiot, so I will move on, I already delete her info from my phone and I don't expect to try to impress her if I see her again. I will act normal, like I should have been from the start.

I left my anxiety control me, but now I know sleep few hours make it worse. Sometimes I think if I'm trying to sabotage me myself, either for don't to be happy or for have a excuse to move on from this girl. Both ideas scares me a lot.

Still, something good happened to trying to impress her, and it's I'm reading books daily. I am going to finish A Game of Thrones today, and because I'm hooked to the book, I will try to buy today A Clash of Kings. I'm working out myself, eating better and finally, I'm losing weight, too. I want to wear certain shirt I really love but I need to be really fit.

I know I'm writing a lot, but I'm a lonely person and I don't share my true feelings to anyone, so that's why I'm venting this here to share them and try to calm myself. My anxiety already left me yesterday at the night, after she told me that words in Whatsapp (that is why I think I'm trying to sabotage me myself), but I'm a bit sad. I am selfish and I know I was wrong with my former actions, but I would like to being hugged for someone. I will work with my inner problems to be a person who deserve to be hugged and loved for someone.
Click to expand...

You did nothing wrong! She was just clear that she didn't see a potential for a relationship. Your friends already warned you that it would be difficult to establish a relationship with her. So you know not to further pursue it. And you didn't do anything cringy like still following her in the hopes that she eventually falls for you like out of a movie. You did fine. You didn't sabotage anything. Just don't get too hung up on one person, plenty of people who would be super into you as much as you are into them. Gotta be a mutual two-way street. Now on to the next :)
 
A

asagami_

Banned
Messofanego said:
You did nothing wrong! She was just clear that she didn't see a potential for a relationship. Your friends already warned you that it would be difficult to establish a relationship with her. So you know not to further pursue it. And you didn't do anything cringy like still following her in the hopes that she eventually falls for you like out of a movie. You did fine. You didn't sabotage anything. Just don't get too hung up on one person, plenty of people who would be super into you as much as you are into them. Gotta be a mutual two-way street. Now on to the next :)
Click to expand...

I called her several times yesterday, I did wrong and surely I scared her. Honestly, I have years without trying to pursue someone and my last (and only) relationship was almost 10 years ago, so the fact to know someone who left me a strong impression like her was something I wasn't expecting in my life. And I left my anxiety control me this few days, but yesterday was worse.

I am learning from this experience, sure. It saddens me, but she deserve more, and I too.
 
LordKasual

LordKasual

Banned
asagami_ said:
I screwed up with this girl because I went a bit pushy trying to call to her phone and now she unfriended me from FB. The last thing she said me in Whatsapp was we can know each other just as friends, only when we hang out with our mutual group of friends.

I... I know what that means, I still like her, but I was idiot, a big idiot, so I will move on, I already delete her info from my phone and I don't expect to try to impress her if I see her again. I will act normal, like I should have been from the start.

I left my anxiety control me, but now I know sleep few hours make it worse. Sometimes I think if I'm trying to sabotage me myself, either for don't to be happy or for have a excuse to move on from this girl. Both ideas scares me a lot.

Still, something good happened to trying to impress her, and it's I'm reading books daily. I am going to finish A Game of Thrones today, and because I'm hooked to the book, I will try to buy today A Clash of Kings. I'm working out myself, eating better and finally, I'm losing weight, too. I want to wear certain shirt I really love but I need to be really fit.

I know I'm writing a lot, but I'm a lonely person and I don't share my true feelings to anyone, so that's why I'm venting this here to share them and try to calm myself. My anxiety already left me yesterday at the night, after she told me that words in Whatsapp (that is why I think I'm trying to sabotage me myself), but I'm a bit sad. I am selfish and I know I was wrong with my former actions, but I would like to being hugged for someone. I will work with my inner problems to be a person who deserve to be hugged and loved for someone.
Click to expand...
asagami_ said:
I called her several times yesterday, I did wrong and surely I scared her. Honestly, I have years without trying to pursue someone and my last (and only) relationship was almost 10 years ago, so the fact to know someone who left me a strong impression like her was something I wasn't expecting in my life. And I left my anxiety control me this few days, but yesterday was worse.

I am learning from this experience, sure. It saddens me, but she deserve more, and I too.
Click to expand...

don't even fret over it homie. Just use the experience for the next one.

Stop thinking about her. Have a good wank next time you feel really down. Maybe get some headphones and blast some ignorant shit for a while. Don't forget to laugh at the comments, this is crucial.

so when that doesn't work just remember not to beat yourself up so much, you just got caught up in your emotions.

when you feel like calling her again, focus on occupying your time instead with something to better yourself. Finish reading that book, get some exercise to help you look good in that shirt you like. Forget about her, she's already made up her mind. She is no longer worth your time or energy, so stop letting her feed your anxiety. Plenty more like her will show up, and you'll be better off when they do.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
asagami_ said:
I called her several times yesterday, I did wrong and surely I scared her. Honestly, I have years without trying to pursue someone and my last (and only) relationship was almost 10 years ago, so the fact to know someone who left me a strong impression like her was something I wasn't expecting in my life. And I left my anxiety control me this few days, but yesterday was worse.

I am learning from this experience, sure. It saddens me, but she deserve more, and I too.
Click to expand...

No, it wasn't the amount of times you called her. It was her not picking up that should have told you that she wasn't interested. That should have been your first sign that you should move along. Best of luck in your search!
 
K

Krauser Kat

Member
I hung out with A again and... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Krauser Kat said:
I hung out with A again and... fuck... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name. hmmm i have to think about this.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
Click to expand...
Sounds like she put in way too much work to find an internet handle that she shouldn't even know about.
 
N

Neoweee

Member
Astral said:
When the only match you're attracted to on Bumble never messages you and expires...☹️
Click to expand...

Bumble has been a train wreck for me, recently. Like only 20% of my matches actually start the conversations. Like... okay? Do they not get how it works?

Tinder's been good. I only created my account a few weeks ago. Still at the point where I can swipe ~10 people every few days and get a few matches. But Tinder generally seems like you have to strike while the iron is hot; after matching, I get a low response rate.

Coffee Meets Bagel has continued to have the highest conversion rate from match to meeting for me, by a lot.
 
P

Pattycakes

Banned
Krauser Kat said:
I hung out with A again and... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
Click to expand...

i just showed this girl i like a screenshot of my NeoGAF.com profile
 
K

Krauser Kat

Member
dreamcastmaster said:
If a man did this to a woman he'd be called out for being a creepy cyber stalker. Please don't think this is cute behaviour.
Click to expand...

JadedWriter said:
Sounds like she put in way too much work to find an internet handle that she shouldn't even know about.
Click to expand...

LordKasual said:
yeah no
Click to expand...

She just did a reverse image search on a pic i sent her and that was all it took. :p thats more my problem then hers. I am pretty easy to find online because i do a decent amount of commission work.
 
P

Peltz

Member
asagami_ said:
I screwed up with this girl because I went a bit pushy trying to call to her phone and now she unfriended me from FB. The last thing she said me in Whatsapp was we can know each other just as friends, only when we hang out with our mutual group of friends.
Click to expand...

Nah, you didn't screw up. If she liked you, she would've been happy to get your call.

Calling up a girl you like on the phone isn't "pushy." It's assertive, which is a good thing. This girl just wasn't interested. It has nothing to do with calling her though.

Multiple calls is pushing it though. Anyway.... jerk off and move on.

Krauser Kat said:
I hung out with A again and... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
Click to expand...

Krauser Kat said:
She just did a reverse image search on a pic i sent her and that was all it took. :p thats more my problem then hers. I am pretty easy to find online because i do a decent amount of commission work.
Click to expand...


b0zkj.gif
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Krauser Kat said:
I hung out with A again and... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
Click to expand...

That's fucking creepy. Anyone came to this thread and said they did that and we'd tear them apart. Think this through man.
 
P

Peltz

Member
Gotdatmoney said:
Can't say I've ever done an image search of anything.

If I may ask what compelled you to do wanna do this sorta search? Just curiousity?
Click to expand...

A girl I matched with had a private instagram account and I wanted to see if there were more photos of her anywhere online to determine whether to ask her out.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Krauser Kat said:
I hung out with A again and... i just realized she found my Neogaf account from a reverse image search to find my last name.

either way i really like her. Its going good, i saw her to bring her get well stuff since she has strep.
Click to expand...

That's... creepy...

Why do people cyberstalk like that

Krauser Kat said:
She just did a reverse image search on a pic i sent her and that was all it took. :p thats more my problem then hers. I am pretty easy to find online because i do a decent amount of commission work.
Click to expand...

Still creepy. Shit I do a lot of writing and use my real name and username interchangeably, it's even easier to find me just by Googling either one... no one I've ever gone on a date with has done it. If they did, my creepo alarms would be blaring so hard

People that do reverse image searches like that on others is untrusting at best, stalkers at worst.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Gotdatmoney said:
That's fucking creepy. Anyone came to this thread and said they did that and we'd tear them apart. Think this through man.
Click to expand...

Ehh.

So, you know when you add a number and it sometimes automatically links the Facebook account? Yeah, I've checked that out for additional pictures -- it helps temper expectations.

I honestly don't think that reverse image searching is a huge deal. My female friends tell me that they always Google the person they're dating too. Probably to make sure we're not serial killers.

I'm thinking there's a palpable difference between extensive detective work and minor forms of sleuthing.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Ehh.

So, you know when you add a number and it sometimes automatically links the Facebook account? Yeah, I've checked that out for additional pictures -- it helps temper expectations.

I honestly don't think that reverse image searching is a huge deal. My female friends tell me that they always Google the person they're dating too. Probably to make sure we're not serial killers.

I'm thinking there's a palpable difference between extensive detective work and minor forms of sleuthing.
Click to expand...

But I mean you didn't even do that on purpose, it just auto linked. You didn't go out looking for that stuff.

There's a difference between someone going "oh I got linked to/they gave me their Facebook, I'll scroll through their album" and "oh I got a picture let me reverse image that shiz with their last name". And I highly doubt GAF was the first result that came up for it.

Even just Googling is a different story because if they were nutso it would definitely pop up on page 1 or 2, no need to dig through anything else... or even click on the mundane stuff you do find.
 
K

Krauser Kat

Member
i have definitely done reverse image search to find out if someone is cat fishing. The fact she admitted she did it to my face and didnt hide she did it, was pretty telling.

I am still in it.

Maybe i am a man on fire and i dont know it yet, but ill take the L if i have to.

Also her last name came up organically in conversation and i hadnt told her mine yet. She was looking for my last name not searching with it. She found it and was satisfied.

3 dating age posts are exactly the first 3 searches for that image and the 4th is my twitter with my full name on it.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Peltz said:
A girl I matched with had a private instagram account and I wanted to see if there were more photos of her anywhere online to determine whether to ask her out.
Click to expand...

Ah I see. As a side note I dont get the point of linking your instagram on Tinder if your account is private. What is the point?

Advocatus Diaboli said:
Ehh.

So, you know when you add a number and it sometimes automatically links the Facebook account? Yeah, I've checked that out for additional pictures -- it helps temper expectations.

I honestly don't think that reverse image searching is a huge deal. My female friends tell me that they always Google the person they're dating too. Probably to make sure we're not serial killers.

I'm thinking there's a palpable difference between extensive detective work and minor forms of sleuthing.
Click to expand...

I find the actual act of taking someones picture and putting it in a search engine to find their info creepy. Plain and simple that's just weird to me. If a girl told me she did this I would be out.
 
P

PancakeBurglar

Member
Any of you guys have any good tips to get each other at ease and to calm first date nerves, dates are so much better once both people are comfortable with each other.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
asagami_ said:
I called her several times yesterday, I did wrong and surely I scared her. Honestly, I have years without trying to pursue someone and my last (and only) relationship was almost 10 years ago, so the fact to know someone who left me a strong impression like her was something I wasn't expecting in my life. And I left my anxiety control me this few days, but yesterday was worse.

I am learning from this experience, sure. It saddens me, but she deserve more, and I too.
Click to expand...

https://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU

Pull it back a bit, buddy. You need to be cool. Cool guys have other shit going on, they don't call someone they barely know 10 times in a day.

You can do this!
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Krauser Kat said:
i have definitely done reverse image search to find out if someone is cat fishing. The fact she admitted she did it to my face and didnt hide she did it, was pretty telling.

I am still in it.

Maybe i am a man on fire and i dont know it yet, but ill take the L if i have to.

Also her last name came up organically in conversation and i hadnt told her mine yet. She was looking for my last name not searching with it. She found it and was satisfied.

3 dating age posts are exactly the first 3 searches for that image and the 4th is my twitter with my full name on it.
Click to expand...
k1FaUcl.gif
 
A

asagami_

Banned
ZackieChan said:
https://youtu.be/DU3Pk6oDNRU

Pull it back a bit, buddy. You need to be cool. Cool guys have other shit going on, they don't call someone they barely know 10 times in a day.

You can do this!
Click to expand...

Yeah, I should be a better man, and if this experience helps me, so be then. And for everyone, thanks, I was feeling down in the morning but I am good right now. I was doing some requests for my boss and everything have been nicely this day (ignoring how I was feeling early)

By the way, beside to write here, I think sleep well helped me to don't have anxiety. Who knows what I would be doing otherwise.

So, sleep enough hours!
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Krauser Kat said:
i have definitely done reverse image search to find out if someone is cat fishing. The fact she admitted she did it to my face and didnt hide she did it, was pretty telling.

I am still in it.

Maybe i am a man on fire and i dont know it yet, but ill take the L if i have to.

Also her last name came up organically in conversation and i hadnt told her mine yet. She was looking for my last name not searching with it. She found it and was satisfied.

3 dating age posts are exactly the first 3 searches for that image and the 4th is my twitter with my full name on it.
Click to expand...
Why couldn't she just simply just ask you for your last name?
 
M

Mr Swine

Banned
gaiages said:
Okay that's a good step! Also since you're in Sweden I have no clue how big or small your city actually is, or what other apps to try out :(

If you wanna PM any of the regulars your pictures to make sure they're on the up and up, I'd suggest doing so. I think Salamando and ZackieChan tends to look at others' profile pictures. Or something.
Click to expand...

10k inhabitants in the center of the city (20k) if you count everyone else. Iv'e tried several apps and still none.

I don't know if it's worth it. I'm starting to really think that everyone here expect the guys to be 9's or 10's and funnily enough there are always the same people on the dating sites year after year. I'm probably overreacting a bit but sometimes it feels that all this training and weight loss was for nothing.
 
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