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[Xun]

I know this is easy to say, but have you thought about pursuing further education towards another career? Not all education has to be in the formal sense. I study additional programming languages in my spare time, for instance. I won't get any degree for it, but I don't need one when I can show I have the experience. Try to seek out a similar method for yourself? This might lead you to getting a job in a field you actually enjoy -- if the one you studied isn't truly to your liking. (Although what you studied typically doesn't have anything to do with what you'll be doing in that field, in my experience.)

It's great that you've got some goals that aren't dating. You said it yourself: you have bigger priorities. Your priorities are in the correct sequence anyhow, since it's not easy to get a girl when you have self-confidence issues.

Just remember that you're young and have plenty of time to sort yourself into the man you want to be.

Thanks for the response!

I have thought about it actually, and I may very well look into it.

I enjoy my career choice a lot of the time (animation), but since my final college year I've struggled to stay motivated with it. I was given the task of directing an animated short film in my final year, and because of how my previous years of college went my tutors were expecting me to deliver. Sadly due to problems with the college (and additional personal problems for me), I along with everyone else were unable to finish our short films (which luckily didn't matter to our grades, but it did to the reputation of the college). Because I was treated as the best in the class the blame was mostly put on me, and this had a profound impact on my confidence in my work. Without sounding too boastful I've always been treated the best in art/animation throughout my life in relation to peers, and to lack confidence in my work in the final year really fucked me up.

I ended college nearly a year ago now, and the whole ordeal with the final year is the main reason I lack motivation and still don't have a job yet. There's a company I'm aiming for which I think would suit me well (as a freelance character animator), but most of the jobs out there are runner jobs in the VFX industry, something I'd rather avoid. I'd avoiding it not only because that industry doesn't interest me, but also because of how notoriously bad the work/life balance is (my friends doing it literally have no lives whatsoever).

I'm looking at part-time jobs at the moment, but I feel I should at least get a character animation job if I can. To ensure this I'm currently working towards improving my showreel tenfold to do just that. If I don't enjoy the industry I can always quit, but I feel having spent 3 years training to become an animator I've got to at least try it.

Outside of art/animation (and something I currently enjoy more) is playing music, and because of this I'm trying to get a band together. I cannot tell you how much I'd love to do it, and it would also improve my confidence as an added bonus. It's a huge pipe dream I know, but I'd like to at least try and go somewhere with it if I could, I just worry about how much free time I'll have for the band when I have a full-time job.

Obviously all of this goes far beyond girls, but I've just got to ensure I get my life sorted first.

 

[Moussi]

I can't truthfully say either of those, because I already went to school and it's doubtful I'll ever be able to afford a house. After a year and 3 months of this situation I've only managed to save three thousand dollars, and that's with almost no expenses besides gas.

There ya go! You can at least say that you went to school, could not find a job in this rough economic climate, and are laying low until you do find a better job. You can say your mother is a very nice woman and is supporting you for a little bit. You can turn any situation into a good situation, that's the trick to attracting women and success in general. Look at all the positives, never the negatives.

 

[Hylian7]

I'm a little concerned about 23% of OKCupid's users...

 

[reilo]

Going to figure out what this hype is on Games of Thrones so I'll likely be watching that all day.

You see my theme now is just moving on from TV Show to TV Show. I get hooked.

I watch a ton of TV, too. But TV is such a passive hobby. There's little to no involvement necessary to get the satisfaction out of a TV show.

Participating in a non-passive hobby? Now that's the difficult part. In fact, right now I am typing this post out with my acoustic guitar in my lap. I have been just chilling and practicing for the past hour or so. I'll keep playing until my fingers get exhausted.

Your hobby might be something else. It might be photography, playing basketball, working out, writing, whatever, but it's up to you to take the initiative and put in the effort to be good at what you enjoy doing.

Dating is the exact same. If you don't ever try...

 

[Ether_Snake]

I didn't do anything today other than work on an illustration and watch history documentaries. I wanted to watch a movie, but there were none on my list that I'm actually wanting to see. Saw Drive yesterday, it was average.

All I know is tomorrow I'm going to the gym. And I should spend a good chunk of the day practicing basics at the guitar which I haven't done in over a week.

But yeah I'm BORED tonight. One thing is cool though: it seems my vitamin A + doubled niacin supplement is clearing my acne completely Hopefully this keeps up, this shit always holds me back.

 

[Meus Renaissance]

All of a sudden, I'm getting a ton of views on my Match profile I haven't logged into for half a year. Can't even message people without paying a king's ransom

 

[Vermillion]

Let us judge then

[pictures removed]

 

[soultron]

Just got back to my computer (was using my tablet/phone for the weekend)

[pictures go here]

I was having fun with that picture, don't criticize the style, lol.

:lol you're far from bad looking. I say that as a 100% straight man who can admit another man is handsome.

EDIT: You're good-looking too, EviLore. Stop fishing for compliments. God.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Just got back to my computer (was using my tablet/phone for the weekend)


Please don't quote the link - I'd like to remove it soon.

EDIT: Oh, and without glasses:


I was having fun with that picture, don't criticize the style, lol.

Did you know that most white women fantasies about sleeping with black guys?

Comeonson.gif!

 

[Devolution]

Just got back to my computer (was using my tablet/phone for the weekend)

I was having fun with that picture, don't criticize the style, lol.

Post some pics without the muggin'.

 

[EviLore]

:lol you're far from bad looking. I say that as a 100% straight man.

Need to man up and be progressive and confident in your sexuality and drop the "BTW I'M TOTALLY 100% STRAIGHT" bit just because you're commenting on someone's looks ;b

 

[Vermillion]

Post some pics without the muggin'.

That's all I have on my laptop :/

And I deleted my Facebook some time ago, so that's dead...

Eh.

Soutron, Ether, could you remove the links to the pictures from the quote?

 

[Devolution]

That's all I have on my laptop :/

And I deleted my Facebook some time ago, so that's dead...

Eh.

Soutron, Ether, could you remove the links to the pictures from the quote?

Well you're a handsome dude with nice cheekbones so don't worry about looks and keep throwing yourself out there.

 

[soultron]

Need to man up and be progressive and confident in your sexuality and drop the "BTW I'M TOTALLY 100% STRAIGHT" bit just because you're commenting on someone's looks ;b

I'm a 100% straight man who can recognize a handsome man, yeah.

EDIT: The images aren't actually shown and will be dead if you delete them from imgur, unless you uploaded them anonymously without logging in, that is.

 

[Vermillion]

Note to self, get an imgur account.

 

[soultron]

Note to self, get an imgur account.

Or use min.us instead. It's far superior to both img.ur and Photobucket, in my humble opinion.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Did you know that most white women fantasies about sleeping with black guys?

Comeonson.gif!

Did you grab that fact from a statistical study?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Ha, JokerOfSpades, you look like my brother, but black.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Question on how I should go about the inevitable conversation with the girl I've been seeing:

If she tells me she's going to pursue the friend that she recently confessed to having feelings for, what attitude should I take here? Indifference? Understanding? Bitterness?

I have a lot of things I'd like to say to her, but I'm unsure of what the appropriate response would be so that I can present myself in as strong of a position as possible. I feel like the usual approach of acting indifferent is inapplicable here since we've been seeing each other long enough to where she knows how strongly I feel about her. Keep in mind, I'd like to position myself so that if/when she regrets her decision (and she will, because she'll be missing out on an amazing person in myself), she'd feel comfortable reaching out to me and letting me know. I know I have no control over that, but I think my attitude during the conversation and the approach that I take will dictate her future response towards me, so I'd prefer not to mess it up. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated, thanks.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Did you grab that fact from a statistical study?

Sort of. There's a porn site where you can view what is popular among registered female users. Over 50% of the stuff is white girls with black guys sex.

Scientific to me!

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Question on how I should go about the inevitable conversation with the girl I've been seeing:

If she tells me she's going to pursue the friend that she recently confessed to having feelings for, what attitude should I take here? Indifference? Understanding? Bitterness?

I have a lot of things I'd like to say to her, but I'm unsure of what the appropriate response would be so that I can present myself in as strong of a position as possible. I feel like the usual approach of acting indifferent is inapplicable here since we've been seeing each other long enough to where she knows how strongly I feel about her. Keep in mind, I'd like to position myself so that if/when she regrets her decision (and she will, because she'll be missing out on an amazing person in myself), she'd feel comfortable reaching out to me and letting me know. I know I have no control over that, but I think my attitude during the conversation and the approach that I take will dictate her future response towards me, so I'd prefer not to mess it up. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated, thanks.

Wait a sec, you're the guy whose girlfriend was super busy with work and school for the past few weeks and was dreading the talk with her but it turned out okay?

What the heck precipitated this? She has feelings for someone else but is still with you?

 

[Vermillion]

Ha, JokerOfSpades, you look like my brother, but black.

lol

Question on how I should go about the inevitable conversation with the girl I've been seeing:

If she tells me she's going to pursue the friend that she recently confessed to having feelings for, what attitude should I take here? Indifference? Understanding? Bitterness?

I have a lot of things I'd like to say to her, but I'm unsure of what the appropriate response would be so that I can present myself in as strong of a position as possible. I feel like the usual approach of acting indifferent is inapplicable here since we've been seeing each other long enough to where she knows how strongly I feel about her. Keep in mind, I'd like to position myself so that if/when she regrets her decision (and she will, because she'll be missing out on an amazing person in myself), she'd feel comfortable reaching out to me and letting me know. I know I have no control over that, but I think my attitude during the conversation and the approach that I take will dictate her future response towards me, so I'd prefer not to mess it up. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated, thanks.

Damn dude. I don't know what I can say about this. If I were her friend, I'd want her to make sure she's sure. But in your position, all you can do is be as understanding as possible so as not to burn any bridges. There's no need to attack. But if you will be breaking up, the best you can do is do it on good terms.

 

[Izick]

JokerOfSpades, you look good! Not gay, but I still think I can say that truthfully and objectively.

 

[Vermillion]

JokerOfSpades, you look good! Not gay, but I still think I can say that truthfully and objectively.

Which reminds me - lemme see your picture!

 

[Izick]

Which reminds me - lemme see your picture!

Ah, I appreciate you asking, but I'm not too fond of showing pictures of myself over the internet. Nothing wrong with it, and I respect people who have the guts to do it, but I guess it's an irrational fear of mine. :/

 

[Vermillion]

Ah, I appreciate you asking, but I'm not too fond of showing pictures of myself over the internet. Nothing wrong with it, and I respect people who have the guts to do it, but I guess it's an irrational fear of mine. :/

Meh, that's fine.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Wait a sec, you're the guy whose girlfriend was super busy with work and school for the past few weeks and was dreading the talk with her but it turned out okay?

What the heck precipitated this? She has feelings for someone else but is still with you?

Yeah, the next morning I got a text about how she needed to confess that she's developed feelings for a friend of hers. She says she's confused about what she needs to do, because she still has a lot of feelings for me, but also him. I told her I'd give her some space while she gathered her thoughts and I expect to talk to her again on or around Tuesday. I felt like that was the appropriate response.

Damn dude. I don't know what I can say about this. If I were her friend, I'd want her to make sure she's sure. But in your position, all you can do is be as understanding as possible so as not to burn any bridges. There's no need to attack. But if you will be breaking up, the best you can do is do it on good terms.

Agreed, but I feel like I shouldn't be too understanding. That seems like a sign of weakness to me. I feel like I should let her know that I think she's making a mistake and why. Not in an angry or begging way of course, but in a confident, strong way, that pretty much signals I can respect her decision but that I don't agree with it at all. Or should I even bother?

 

[Vermillion]

Yeah, the next morning I got a text about how she needed to confess that she's developed feelings for a friend of hers. She says she's confused about what she needs to do, because she still has a lot of feelings for me, but also him. I told her I'd give her some space while she gathered her thoughts and I expect to talk to her again on or around Tuesday. I felt like that was the appropriate response.


Agreed, but I feel like I shouldn't be too understanding. That seems like a sign of weakness to me. I feel like I should let her know that I think she's making a mistake and why. Not in an angry or begging way of course, but in a confident, strong way, that pretty much signals I can respect her decision but that I don't agree with it at all. Or should I even bother?

I mean, you can let her know that she's making a huge mistake, and you can even try to find out why, but the harder you are on her is the worse any sort of future connection would be. Imagine you were in her position - what are you looking for in her response? Also, the harder you are on her is the less she'll regret it... unless she imagines she's made you a worse person. Be as calm as you can when you talk.

 

[Izick]

Meh, that's fine.

Some girl actually told me I looked like Eric Bana, which was really random, so later on I looked him up on Google (I knew who he was, but I never put a name to the face before) and I think she was just joking, or maybe it was how I had my hair or something.

 

[Vermillion]

Some girl actually told me I looked like Eric Bana, which was really random, so later on I looked him up on Google (I knew who he was, but I never put a name to the face before) and I think she was just joking, or maybe it was how I had my hair or something.

Basically she called you sexy as fuck.

 

[brian]

Had my female cousins (including bonus lesbian) help me message a few ladies on OK Cupid over the weekend and I got 2 replies back. One is not that attractive to me, and was somewhat a half assed attempt on my part that I slightly regretted in a more sober mind. The other is a cute snowboarder girl, who I was able to successfully charm with an early compliment. Also was messaged by a very good looking latino girl with child.

I suppose at this point there is nothing to lose by pursuing all of the above, but I'm pretty sure I could never seriously date someone with a kid at this point in my life. That makes me wonder if it is worth even bothering with that or not.

I'm still intimidated by this whole thing. I'm not terribly good looking, but pictures can be taken to minimize my less desirable features and I can generate a certain charm in written form if I try hard enough. The fact that 2 of 3 girl I'm talking to right off the bat are better looking than what I would normally think myself capable of is something that makes me nervous if/when it comes time to meet in person. I just have to keep trying to convince myself that it is all just good experience right now, even if the outcome is worse than desired.

 

[Izick]

Basically she called you sexy as fuck.

Lmao yeah right. XD

 

[Devolution]

Lmao yeah right. XD

He's hot dude.

 

[HarryHengst]

Lmao yeah right. XD

That dude is pretty handsome. If she compared you to him thats a nice compliment.

 

[Duderz]

After a pretty successful first date today (we were going to go to a car show but that turned out to be a bust, got coffee and chatted for close to an hour and a half which I think actually worked better in my favor), how soon should I call to ask her out again? I was thinking tomorrow, but is that too soon?

 

[brian]

Yeah, the next morning I got a text about how she needed to confess that she's developed feelings for a friend of hers. She says she's confused about what she needs to do, because she still has a lot of feelings for me, but also him. I told her I'd give her some space while she gathered her thoughts and I expect to talk to her again on or around Tuesday. I felt like that was the appropriate response.


Agreed, but I feel like I shouldn't be too understanding. That seems like a sign of weakness to me. I feel like I should let her know that I think she's making a mistake and why. Not in an angry or begging way of course, but in a confident, strong way, that pretty much signals I can respect her decision but that I don't agree with it at all. Or should I even bother?

It's certainly the mature way to handle it, and probably gives you the best chance of getting back with her, if that is your intention. On the other hand, odds are probably against you right now, and you're forced you to remain emotionally invested until she makes up her mind. And even if she does decide she wants to be with you, are you going to be second guessing the relationship moving forward? It's a toss up what you should do now, but I think you've handled the situation as well as you could to this point.

 

[AdventureRacing]

After a pretty successful first date today (we were going to go to a car show but that turned out to be a bust, got coffee and chatted for close to an hour and a half which I think actually worked better in my favor), how soon should I call to ask her out again? I was thinking tomorrow, but is that too soon?

There is no right answer to this. If she was really into you i think it's stupid to delay calling her for a certain amount of time because of some made up rule.

 

[Truth101]

I'm not looking for dating advice but...

Last night I was hanging out with friends in my room.

My best friend then came over to hang out a little bit later, which is odd since she was supposed to be out with her boyfriend. Later the two of us go out for a cigarette. We're out there for about half an hour and almost the whole time she's crying into my shoulder, nothing to do with her boyfriend though. She then picked up her stuff from my room and left.

Even later in the night she texts me and says
-- I broke up with _____.
-- It was bound to happen eventually.

I get no explanation other than that.

So, this morning we were supposed to go to her families for Easter, her boyfriend included. She comes outside and tells me her boyfriend is coming, and he did come as if last night never happened.

The point of the story is females are crazy.

 

[Danj]

Posting this in here as well so that people know I don't plan to keep pussying out with lame excuses. Here is the plan so far based on what has been suggested in the fitness thread:

• I need to change my diet first.
• I stopped drinking juice already now that I know it's bad for me.
• I get paid next on April 27th, at that time instead of doing my usual monthly food purchase, I will attempt to do a 1 week food purchase of foods that have been recommended in the fitness thread. If this succeeds I will attempt to continue this in subsequent weeks.
• Having made said purchases I will attempt to learn to cook them (where cooking is appropriate).
• Dumbbells have been suggested as an inexpensive exercise tool. I have put a set on my birthday wishlist and will attempt to persuade my parents to buy me them for my birthday which is on May 11th, since I do not have the money for it myself.

 

[Minamu]

Sounds great, man

 

[Devolution]

I'm not looking for dating advice but...

The point of the story is females are crazy.

Hey thanks for your addition to the thread guy.

 

[Truth101]

Hey thanks for your addition to the thread guy.

You got me, females aren't really crazy.

The point is if you look too much into something someone says/does, you generally wind up watching imaginary shapes in the clouds. So, when you find yourself worrying about what someone says so much that that happens, the best plan is to just ask them to clarify what they meant or what is going on.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Yeah, the next morning I got a text about how she needed to confess that she's developed feelings for a friend of hers. She says she's confused about what she needs to do, because she still has a lot of feelings for me, but also him. I told her I'd give her some space while she gathered her thoughts and I expect to talk to her again on or around Tuesday. I felt like that was the appropriate response.


Agreed, but I feel like I shouldn't be too understanding. That seems like a sign of weakness to me. I feel like I should let her know that I think she's making a mistake and why. Not in an angry or begging way of course, but in a confident, strong way, that pretty much signals I can respect her decision but that I don't agree with it at all. Or should I even bother?

Let the caged bird freeeeeee

If she's not a hundred percent invested in your relationship, maybe you should just let her go. If she has second thoughts now, but comes back to you, how do you know she won't have them in the future? Maybe you two should just amicably split?

I'm not looking for dating advice but...

Last night I was hanging out with friends in my room.

My best friend then came over to hang out a little bit later, which is odd since she was supposed to be out with her boyfriend. Later the two of us go out for a cigarette. We're out there for about half an hour and almost the whole time she's crying into my shoulder, nothing to do with her boyfriend though. She then picked up her stuff from my room and left.

Even later in the night she texts me and says
-- I broke up with _____.
-- It was bound to happen eventually.

I get no explanation other than that.

So, this morning we were supposed to go to her families for Easter, her boyfriend included. She comes outside and tells me her boyfriend is coming, and he did come as if last night never happened.

The point of the story is females are crazy.

That was a terrible story.

Posting this in here as well so that people know I don't plan to keep pussying out with lame excuses. Here is the plan so far based on what has been suggested in the fitness thread:

• I need to change my diet first.
• I stopped drinking juice already now that I know it's bad for me.
• I get paid next on April 27th, at that time instead of doing my usual monthly food purchase, I will attempt to do a 1 week food purchase of foods that have been recommended in the fitness thread. If this succeeds I will attempt to continue this in subsequent weeks.
• Having made said purchases I will attempt to learn to cook them (where cooking is appropriate).
• Dumbbells have been suggested as an inexpensive exercise tool. I have put a set on my birthday wishlist and will attempt to persuade my parents to buy me them for my birthday which is on May 11th, since I do not have the money for it myself.

Well done!

 

[Discotheque]

Posting this in here as well so that people know I don't plan to keep pussying out with lame excuses. Here is the plan so far based on what has been suggested in the fitness thread:

• I need to change my diet first.
• I stopped drinking juice already now that I know it's bad for me.
• I get paid next on April 27th, at that time instead of doing my usual monthly food purchase, I will attempt to do a 1 week food purchase of foods that have been recommended in the fitness thread. If this succeeds I will attempt to continue this in subsequent weeks.
• Having made said purchases I will attempt to learn to cook them (where cooking is appropriate).
• Dumbbells have been suggested as an inexpensive exercise tool. I have put a set on my birthday wishlist and will attempt to persuade my parents to buy me them for my birthday which is on May 11th, since I do not have the money for it myself.

In the meantime do some pushups and situps and the like. They cost nothing but your sweat and tears.

 

[overcast]

Well 4 months in. Me and my GF had sex yesterday and today. (we were both virgins) It was very difficult, and it hurts her so badly. We are both very happy though. Hopefully she can enjoy it soon.

Congratsonthesex.jpeg

 

[HarryHengst]

Well 4 months in. Me and my GF had sex yesterday and today. (we were both virgins) It was very difficult, and it hurts her so badly. We are both very happy though. Hopefully she can enjoy it soon.

Congratsonthesex.jpeg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bc8SMOTCrA

 

[Minamu]

You got me, females aren't really crazy.

The point is if you look too much into something someone says/does, you generally wind up watching imaginary shapes in the clouds. So, when you find yourself worrying about what someone says so much that that happens, the best plan is to just ask them to clarify what they meant or what is going on.

This so much Found myself wondering last night if I had joked too much with a friend's girlfriend over facebook because she didn't sound as amused as usual. One thought led to another and soon a whole fairly reasonable conspiracy had formed xD But I gently asked her today and she had no idea what I was talking about. So making a hen out of a feather is rarely a good thing

 

[Xun]

.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Joker, you're definitely good enough looking not to stress so much over everything.

Some girl actually told me I looked like Eric Bana, which was really random, so later on I looked him up on Google (I knew who he was, but I never put a name to the face before) and I think she was just joking, or maybe it was how I had my hair or something.

He managed to be hot in a movie where he was paired against a sweaty, long-haired Brad Pitt. It's one hell of a compliment.

Well 4 months in. Me and my GF had sex yesterday and today. (we were both virgins) It was very difficult, and it hurts her so badly. We are both very happy though. Hopefully she can enjoy it soon.

Congratsonthesex.jpeg

It only gets better from there.

 

[Ovid]

I'm the same way. The first week of grad school my wife met me and tried to let me know for months she liked me before finally telling me on msn she liked me. Now that she has passed, I'll never date again.

Man, that is both beautiful and depressing at the same time.

Sorry for your loss dude