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[Nickdogmoneycash]

So that girl from work I was talking to and went on dates with just told me yesterday we should go back to being friends because there is some "serious stuff" going on in her family that makes her hard to open up to people...

Ok, whatever.

Then today she has the nerve to tweet out: "Hope my mom doesn't look at my neck, it'll be so awkward" with laughing emojis. For those not getting it, she's implying she has a hickey on her neck (which wasn't from me).

She knows I'm looking at her twitter. Idk if she's tweeting that to make me feel bad/jealous or she's already hooking up with some other dude (even though she told me she wasn't talking to anyone else) but either way I'm upset.

 

[No Love]

So that girl from work I was talking to and went on dates with just told me yesterday we should go back to being friends because there is some "serious stuff" going on in her family that makes her hard to open up to people...

Ok, whatever.

Then today she has the nerve to tweet out: "Hope my mom doesn't look at my neck, it'll be so awkward" with laughing emojis. For those not getting it, she's implying she has a hickey on her neck (which wasn't from me).

She knows I'm looking at her twitter. Idk if she's tweeting that to make me feel bad/jealous or she's already hooking up with some other dude (even though she told me she wasn't talking to anyone else) but either way I'm upset.

Stop looking at her Twitter and stop being upset like a little bitch. She ain't yours and she's obviously not worth your time.

Case closed, problem solved.

 

[gwailo]

Just block her and quit talking to her at work. Don't create more drama.

 

[Nickdogmoneycash]

Stop looking at her Twitter and stop being upset like a little bitch. She ain't yours and she's obviously not worth your time.

Case closed, problem solved.

Why can't I be upset? I'm not some macho man that doesn't have feelings lol.

 

[Nickdogmoneycash]

Just block her and quit talking to her at work. Don't create more drama.

Blocking her would create more drama. The place we work is very small and I am forced to talk to her sometimes. I can't let it get hostile

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Why can't I be upset? I'm not some macho man that doesn't have feelings lol.

Because being upset isn't productive. You went out on a few dates and she wasn't feeling it. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't into you?

Blocking her would create more drama. The place we work is very small and I am forced to talk to her sometimes. I can't let it get hostile

Mute her, then. And learn to be civil. In fact, you ought to be happy for her. I realize that what I'm saying sounds entirely counterproductive and wrongheaded, but she committed no horrible transgression. She simply wasn't into you and told you this. She didn't cheat on you (though you weren't an item, so it couldn't be characterized as cheating, anyway). She was respectful of your feelings. She didn't lead you on. She was an adult about the process; you can be too.

 

[stn]

Block her or don't, just do whatever you have to do to not find yourself keeping tabs on her. She doesn't like you. Move on. Why give so many fucks about someone who doesn't like you, anyway?

 

[ZackieChan]

So that girl from work I was talking to and went on dates with just told me yesterday we should go back to being friends because there is some "serious stuff" going on in her family that makes her hard to open up to people...

Ok, whatever.

Then today she has the nerve to tweet out: "Hope my mom doesn't look at my neck, it'll be so awkward" with laughing emojis. For those not getting it, she's implying she has a hickey on her neck (which wasn't from me).

She knows I'm looking at her twitter. Idk if she's tweeting that to make me feel bad/jealous or she's already hooking up with some other dude (even though she told me she wasn't talking to anyone else) but either way I'm upset.

Getting into Infinity Patriot territory here. Unfollow her. Act cordial at work. Just be chill and find another person to date.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

When the three of us agree, our answers are objectively correct. It is known.

 

[hawkshockey11]

So I don't think no contact works best for me. I feel I definitely move on easier, quicker, and with 99% less crippling anxiety if I keep people around platonically for a little.

I feel I actually start to notice the bad things about people I was once romantically interested in and it doesn't hold me back from seeing other people and working on myself. It's been hard trying to improve myself when I've been immobilized with anxiety

Overall I just feel better I think.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Blocking her would create more drama.

How so? Who gives a fuck? You go to work and do your shit and interact when necessary. You don't need to follow her for the sake of work. Social media is not fucking work.

The place we work is very small and I am forced to talk to her sometimes. I can't let it get hostile

If unfollowing her is gonna make it hostile the whole friendships/relationship is a fucking sham anyway. Unfollow her. If she asks, "I don't wanna follow someone I just dated". Stand up for yourself man. Its twitter.

 

[Benzychenz]

So I hadn't had a new match on Tinder for the past 2-3 weeks, and none of my latest messages had gotten replies, which seemed odd.

But I just got a new phone, and with it downloaded the latest version of Tinder, and all the latest messages I'd sent and the latest matches I hadn't messaged were marked as unseen, so I'm wondering if the app fucked up and my account had just disappeared into the nether while the app was un-updated.

That'd be annoying as one of those girls I'd actually gone out for drinks with, and she probably thought I just never texted her despite having messaged her the following afternoon >.<

Well, we'll see if I start getting matches/messages again now that the app is up to date.

 

[Dylan Sexbang]

So GAF. That coworker I met with at a party a few or two ago? She's invited me out a couple times, she lets me get touchy (usually go for legs, shoulders, back and arms), and she's generally pretty cool. My buddy has made it his new mission to get me into bed with her, and he thinks she's into me. But he said to be more active and less passive, and just believe in myself. He said she's obviously cool and likes me, she's invited me out, she's texted me on her own accord, and she allows me to get physical- so next time I see her (Saturday) I'm gonna feel the water and see if I can, if anything get something and stop being self conscious.

She's cute, she's fun, and for myself: this has probably been the most fun I've had in almost a year. Just going with the flow, but I'm content no matter what happens.

 

[vern]

feel the water

&#129300;

Good luck dude. Hope it's wet!

 

[Mory Dunz]

Great post, Mory.

Thanks

 

[Booser]

Dear GAF,

Ok so not Dating-Age strictly but girl related none the less.

Ex problems. My ex and I broke up in feb because keeping a long distance relationship going was tough. She wanted to remain friends, I'm usually against that but I agreed saying we need a no contact break first. So I unfriended her on facebook which she was pretty angry about, and for a few months there was no contact. I thought I was making progress, even dated a girl for a few weeks (and met another this weekend), but could never really get her off my mind.

It was her birthday last week and I sent her a small present, nothing fancy, just something I thought she would find funny. I don't really know what I was expecting - just a short, polite thank you by email, but she sent me a facebook msg request and we got chatting again. Just light and non-serious. That was nice for a few days and then things went quiet again. This morning she sent me a friend request on facebook and I'm surprised at how torn I am about something so trivial.

I didn't expect her to refriend me after I had unfriended her. She always came across as too stubborn for that. I thought there wouldn't be much of an issue in being frineds with this particular ex because of the distance - no chance of falling back into a relationship, meeting up etc. But the problem is that I still love her if I'm honest. The odd msg every now and again wasn't an issue, but now the temptation would be there to keep up with her life and watch the inevitable new boyfriend selfies appear. I don't think I can do that. But on the other hand if I make it obvious I'm ignoring her request I could lose her as a friend permanently and I'd regret that down the line.

Yours sincerely,
Mr Not in the bathroom, but looking for advice I can ignore if it's not what I want to hear.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Dear GAF,

Ok so not Dating-Age strictly but girl related none the less.

Ex problems. My ex and I broke up in feb because keeping a long distance relationship going was tough. She wanted to remain friends, I'm usually against that but I agreed saying we need a no contact break first. So I unfriended her on facebook which she was pretty angry about, and for a few months there was no contact. I thought I was making progress, even dated a girl for a few weeks (and met another this weekend), but could never really get her off my mind.

It was her birthday last week and I sent her a small present, nothing fancy, just something I thought she would find funny. I don't really know what I was expecting - just a short, polite thank you by email, but she sent me a facebook msg request and we got chatting again. Just light and non-serious. That was nice for a few days and then things went quiet again. This morning she sent me a friend request on facebook and I'm surprised at how torn I am about something so trivial.

I didn't expect her to refriend me after I had unfriended her. She always came across as too stubborn for that. I thought there wouldn't be much of an issue in being frineds with this particular ex because of the distance - no chance of falling back into a relationship, meeting up etc. But the problem is that I still love her if I'm honest. The odd msg every now and again wasn't an issue, but now the temptation would be there to keep up with her life and watch the inevitable new boyfriend selfies appear. I don't think I can do that. But on the other hand if I make it obvious I'm ignoring her request I could lose her as a friend permanently and I'd regret that down the line.

Yours sincerely,
Mr Not in the bathroom, but looking for advice I can ignore if it's not what I want to hear.

Why are you buying your ex birthday gifts? (I don't care how small it was) No contact means no contact,it doesn't mean contact at your casual whim. And if you lose her as a friend your life will go on.

People are so damn afraid of losing friends. That's the real worl, people fall in and out of contact. Don't be that guy that is so afraid to let go of a girl he spends his life in a gray zone. Don't accept. Go no contact. Move on with your life.

 

[Llyranor]

I suspect you sent her the present because you (unconsciously or not) wanted her to make contact with you again. If you want to make the healing process/getting over her harder and slower, then by all means friend her. Otherwise, just send her a brief message saying you're not ready to be friends with her yet, without having to justify your reasons or going into details.

 

[Booser]

Why are you buying your ex birthday gifts? (I don't care how small it was) No contact means no contact,it doesn't mean contact at your casual whim. And if you lose her as a friend your life will go on.

People are so damn afraid of losing friends. That's the real worl, people fall in and out of contact. Don't be that guy that is so afraid to let go of a girl he spends his life in a gray zone. Don't accept. Go no contact. Move on with your life.

Yeah you're probably right.

I guess I was hoping to break the ice, partly out of guilt, and partly out of feelings I still have for her. I realise now that things would have been a lot simpler if I had just let it go.

I think I may have a lot more emotions invested in this girl than just love. Giving up the adventure of moving to a new country was hard to readjust to too. I met her while I was away traveling and I think I equate the best time in my life with her. The memories are hard to seperate, so I'm trying to find a way to "un-sour" what should be 100% good feelings about it.

Like I said, I have no contact with any other exes, but because of added circumstances this one is hard to shake.

 

[ZackieChan]

I have a couple girls like that. Gotta let that go - the circumstances of meeting don't make them any more special, just the time you met. Go travel again and find someone else &#128521;

 

[gwailo]

People are so damn afraid of losing friends. That's the real worl, people fall in and out of contact. Don't be that guy that is so afraid to let go of a girl he spends his life in a gray zone. Don't accept. Go no contact. Move on with your life.

There's a weird (at least to me) vibe on this board that you must remain friends with all of your exes otherwise you're some sort of sociopathic loser.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

There's a weird (at least to me) vibe on this board that you must remain friends with all of your exes otherwise you're some sort of sociopathic loser.

I mean people are like this in general. Don't wanna accept that things come to an end and there is nothing wromg with moving on. I also think people feel like if you aren't actively wronged you don'4 have a basis to cut contact with people. It's sort of sad honestly.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Blocking her would create more drama. The place we work is very small and I am forced to talk to her sometimes. I can't let it get hostile

Another reason not to shit where you eat. Took me marrying and divorcing a co-worker while we still worked for the same company the whole to finally get that through my head.

There's a weird (at least to me) vibe on this board that you must remain friends with all of your exes otherwise you're some sort of sociopathic loser.

Agreed and the whole social media thing makes it even worse. I had (intentionally or not) always followed the scorched earth policy with exes. Makes things much easier to sort out. No need for some special closure, no pining over what did I do, no wondering if we'll get back together, just shut the door and move on.

As for the blocking/muting/whatever, you realize at a point how completely moronic it all is. My ex-wife's first request after we separated and started the divorce process: "When can we make this Facebook official?"

Spoiler

Mine was "Hey can you sign this settlement agreement so you don't get cute and try to take my retirement money"

Current SO and I aren't even friends/following/whatever on any social media. I don't think I've ever even checked my relationship status or any of that shit. Mainly because nobody cares. Honestly, they don't.

I know I probably sound like the old man yelling to get off my lawn, but nobody pulled me aside any of those times to say I was being an idiot. There's a lot of experienced people on this board (and in this thread) who have seen it and done it before. Hopefully some put it all to good use.

 

[ZackieChan]

I'm friends with a couple exes. Mostly just cut off contact tho.

I don't get that vibe from this board, though, Gwailo. Most say to cut all contact, iirc.

 

[gwailo]

There was a thread in OT about it not too long ago and a lot of people (I'd say the majority) said they always stayed friends. Some were pretty cunty/condescending about it, one person even said something like "Of course I do because I'm mature". I've seen it in other threads also, probably not so much this one, like people are really proud of it and it just seems strange and a waste of time/energy to me. But maybe I'm having a senior moment and just need to start taking more fish oil and Geritol or something.

 

[ZackieChan]

Haha, you're probably right. Don't remember that thread. Breakup threads usually say to cut contact, if I remember correctly.

 

[vern]

As someone that doesn't get overly attached or sentimental (so atypical of gaffers maybe) because I never really had a problem finding another girl after whoever the previous one was... Most of my exes and I are still friends. Not like, hey lets hang out or talk all the time kind of friends, but the stay in contact and when I'm in the states once or twice a year grab coffee and share stories kind.

My Chinese ex gfs here.. One I talk to sometimes, one is blocked everywhere. The rest of the girls I've dated around the world the past few years don't usually make it to gf stage so hard to say.

I'd say in general as long as you are both capable of putting aside feelings it's fine to be friends. You liked them for a reason before they were your girlfriend I presume. But also its fine to not be friends. Guess my point is I have none. Sorry. Move along people.

 

[friday]

You can be friends with people on facebook and then just unfollow all of their post. It's pretty much like unfriending, but they will never know.

You guys are all pretty harsh about ex's, but I am getting into a strange place with mine. She is starting to feel like someone I am dating. We go out on dates, we hangout and watch tv, and we have sex. I feel like the world tells you to never get back with an ex. There are endless examples of co-dependent people in bad relationships getting back together, but do people get back together and form a stronger relationship? I guess it ultimately depends on why you broke up and if people have changed.

 

[vern]

You can be friends with people on facebook and then just unfollow all of their post. It's pretty much like unfriending, but they will never know.

You guys are all pretty harsh about ex's, but I am getting into a strange place with mine. She is starting to feel like someone I am dating. We go out on dates, we hangout and watch tv, and we have sex. I feel like the world tells you to never get back with an ex. There are endless examples of co-dependent people in bad relationships getting back together, but do people get back together and form a stronger relationship? I guess it ultimately depends on why you broke up and if people have changed.

Hmm I would never get back with an ex. Imo there is a reason (or many) for the breakup (even if it's somethng civil like moving to different cities) and you learn from the relationship and move forward with new ones. If it works for you that's good, but to me I always look forward to the new girl. So many beautiful and smart and fun women to meet, no reason to go backwards for me.

 

[gaiages]

Hmm I would never get back with an ex. Imo there is a reason (or many) for the breakup (even if it's somethng civil like moving to different cities) and you learn from the relationship and move forward with new ones. If it works for you that's good, but to me I always look forward to the new girl. So many beautiful and smart and fun women to meet, no reason to go backwards for me.

This like needs to be printed on a poster and passed out to every person on the planet or something.

 

[thestopsign]

You can be friends with people on facebook and then just unfollow all of their post. It's pretty much like unfriending, but they will never know.

You guys are all pretty harsh about ex's, but I am getting into a strange place with mine. She is starting to feel like someone I am dating. We go out on dates, we hangout and watch tv, and we have sex. I feel like the world tells you to never get back with an ex. There are endless examples of co-dependent people in bad relationships getting back together, but do people get back together and form a stronger relationship? I guess it ultimately depends on why you broke up and if people have changed.

Why did you break up? Has the fact that you are keeping it more casual/unofficial changed that?

 

[radioactivez0r]

But I love girls that treat me like shit and flake on me. I know she was just really busy with exams and work and family and her dog and naps. I honestly think if I hang in there she'll understand how much she likes me.

You are the realest motherfucker in this thread and you don't get enough credit for it.

Door closed. No future contact. Time to move on to women who will value our time together.

Thanks for all the feedback fam.

I really hope you stick with this. Reading your posts has been somewhat infuriating. Have some self-respect and remember that they are privileged to spend time with you.

That'd be annoying as one of those girls I'd actually gone out for drinks with, and she probably thought I just never texted her despite having messaged her the following afternoon >.<

Why were you using Tinder to talk to someone you already went out with!?!

You can be friends with people on facebook and then just unfollow all of their post. It's pretty much like unfriending, but they will never know.

You guys are all pretty harsh about ex's, but I am getting into a strange place with mine. She is starting to feel like someone I am dating. We go out on dates, we hangout and watch tv, and we have sex. I feel like the world tells you to never get back with an ex. There are endless examples of co-dependent people in bad relationships getting back together, but do people get back together and form a stronger relationship? I guess it ultimately depends on why you broke up and if people have changed.

Uh....you are.

And to Jason's Ultimatum, because I've already quoted enough people - every time someone calls out you on something you did, your response is always "lol i know i totally get that" and "yeah man i'm usually so suave and i must have blacked out or something" and then you go on to learn nothing. I'm pretty sure you are in denial over how much you actually understand about your behavior and why it hasn't changed.

 

[Booser]

She is starting to feel like someone I am dating. We go out on dates, we hangout and watch tv,

almost sounds like you are, apart from the se-

and we have sex.

oh

congrats?

 

[friday]

Why did you break up? Has the fact that you are keeping it more casual/unofficial changed that?

The one single thing is poor communication on both ends. Looking back on it I think we were both in weird places in our lives, and we weren't really dealing with it. In a rut for sure. Looking at myself now I feel a lot more confident and I have a stronger sense of identity and self. I think that now I am a better person to be with. I have relearned that being with someone is just as much about pleasing yourself as it is making someone else happy.

I guess for now I will keep doing what I am doing. Hang out with her when we want, but also keep going on dates with others.

 

[Will the Thrill]

So I hadn't had a new match on Tinder for the past 2-3 weeks, and none of my latest messages had gotten replies, which seemed odd.

But I just got a new phone, and with it downloaded the latest version of Tinder, and all the latest messages I'd sent and the latest matches I hadn't messaged were marked as unseen, so I'm wondering if the app fucked up and my account had just disappeared into the nether while the app was un-updated.

That'd be annoying as one of those girls I'd actually gone out for drinks with, and she probably thought I just never texted her despite having messaged her the following afternoon >.<

Well, we'll see if I start getting matches/messages again now that the app is up to date.

I have a 6S and it seems like the app just doesn't want to do anything half the time. At one point if I was typing a message and if I touched any other part of the app other than the keyboard it would crash... Stuff like that just makes me feel the "sent" message doesn't actually mean it sent my message half of the time.

I straight up deleted my account last night and decided to try again today, been getting matches and seeing people I'd never seen previously. App is just jank.

 

[Xun]

Nothing wrong with being undecided, as long as you aren't misleading the other person.

True, I'll just have to be upfront about it.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

You are the realest motherfucker in this thread and you don't get enough credit for it.

All the regulars in the thread are pretty sick but thanks man.

And to Jason's Ultimatum, because I've already quoted enough people - every time someone calls out you on something you did, your response is always "lol i know i totally get that" and "yeah man i'm usually so suave and i must have blacked out or something" and then you go on to learn nothing. I'm pretty sure you are in denial over how much you actually understand about your behavior and why it hasn't changed.

Dude just has character flaws. Like eventually after repeated conversations about the exact same topic with posters you boil it down to either

1) not actually looking for advice, just want a place to bitch and ask pointless questions

2) inherent character flaw

The stuff that he is repeatedly doing and saying isn't someone who is making misstep after misstep. These are just legitimate parts of his personality. Best we can do try to help him minimize it and point out that its harmful if you let it get out of hand but the core part is not going away.

 

[Pinko Marx]

Need some advice brehs. First real prospect after my last relationship 2 years ago. It's been nothing but one night stands and such since then.
Met this chick last weekend at a bar, had some decent small talk, was getting eye contact and smiles. By the end of the night I knew there was some interest there. Found out she works at another bar and I got her scheduled.
Went to her bar a few days ago. Got a greeting and a smile and "hay I remember you!" All good signs. Sat down, drank, she gave me some super good drinks and we chit chatted. Got the number and before I left for the end of the night I went up and talked to her and told her I was digging our vibe and hope we get to talk so more. She smiled and nodded and we hugged and left. Texted her today saying I had a good time hope to see her again soon etc. She said yeah no doubt and that's been pretty much it.
I don't know where to go from here. Do I wait for her to initiate? Do I wait a few days to hit her up again? I know she's talking to other dudes right now so I don't think resting and waiting is the move.i feel I need to be proactive, but I don't wanna come off as thirsty (even tho I am). What do.

 

[Salamando]

Need some advice brehs. First real prospect after my last relationship 2 years ago. It's been nothing but one night stands and such since then.
Met this chick last weekend at a bar, had some decent small talk, was getting eye contact and smiles. By the end of the night I knew there was some interest there. Found out she works at another bar and I got her scheduled.
Went to her bar a few days ago. Got a greeting and a smile and "hay I remember you!" All good signs. Sat down, drank, she gave me some super good drinks and we chit chatted. Got the number and before I left for the end of the night I went up and talked to her and told her I was digging our vibe and hope we get to talk so more. She smiled and nodded and we hugged and left. Texted her today saying I had a good time hope to see her again soon etc. She said yeah no doubt and that's been pretty much it.
I don't know where to go from here. Do I wait for her to initiate? Do I wait a few days to hit her up again? I know she's talking to other dudes right now so I don't think resting and waiting is the move.i feel I need to be proactive, but I don't wanna come off as thirsty (even tho I am). What do.

Have you considered asking her out on a date?

If your response to that was "well I wanted to get to know her better", (1) You've had two conversations. People have asked girls out on less, (2) Getting to know each other better is exactly what dates are for.

 

[Pinko Marx]

Have you considered asking her out on a date?

If your response to that was "well I wanted to get to know her better", (1) You've had two conversations. People have asked girls out on less, (2) Getting to know each other better is exactly what dates are for.

Lol yeah I've considered. I'm basically wondering when I should pop the question.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Lol yeah I've considered. I'm basically wondering when I should pop the question.

Why are you wondering this? There is no perfect time. It doesn't matter. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If she's not, she won't.

For fuck's sake, just be bold. Actually, it's not even bold. It's more like, just be interested and motivated.

 

[Oblivion]

Well, dating-gaf. I'm quite proud of myself today.

Was talking to some random girl on OKC and it was going well at first. Then she stops replying and after about two days I contact her again. She responds with a response to my last question from two days ago that was gaming related. Well, her response was actually quite a bit obnoxious, and actually pissed me off (well, maybe "pissed" is a strong word, but it did annoy the hell out of me).

Normally in a situation like this, I swallow my pride and apologize, but for the first time, I decided that I wasn't going to bother with her anymore. Sure, I've done such things in the past, but they were usually with girls I wasn't that attracted to in the first place. This was the first instance where I've decided dignity was more important than lust.

Feels good, yo.

 

[Incendiary]

How aggressive are you guys on Tinder?

I.E. If you send your opening line, girl responds, you respond, then get nothing back for a while - how long do you wait before you say something else? I'm more used to OKC where you can send somebody a message and then not hear from them for 24 hours - while I feel like Tinder is more of a constant kind of communication and if you let the conversation die early it's never going to recover. Am I wrong on this?

 

[MrPink93485]

So I had a date last week, thought it went well, have had some texts throughout this week and I tried asking a date for tomorrow. She had been in Louisiana from Tuesday to today for work and she's going to Mexico City for work from Sun - Thur. She said she was a bit busy this weekend and suggested next weekend or later. So it wasn't a firm reschedule (like an exact date), and she obviously is going to be out for a chunk of time, but I guess in anybody's experience, would you say that interest might not be that strong? Or am I overthinking that one? Not terribly experienced in the online dating game...

 

[Salamando]

So I had a date last week, thought it went well, have had some texts throughout this week and I tried asking a date for tomorrow. She had been in Louisiana from Tuesday to today for work and she's going to Mexico City for work from Sun - Thur. She said she was a bit busy this weekend and suggested next weekend or later. So it wasn't a firm reschedule (like an exact date), and she obviously is going to be out for a chunk of time, but I guess in anybody's experience, would you say that interest might not be that strong? Or am I overthinking that one? Not terribly experienced in the online dating game...

She expressed desire to see you after the trip...that's a decent enough sign of interest. That she couldn't go out during the three nights sandwiched between two long distance trips is not a bad sign.

Your plan here is simple...text her sparingly during the trip (if at all), ask her out again when she gets back. That answer will be more revealing.

In the meantime, talk to other girls via online dating.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

So I had a date last week, thought it went well, have had some texts throughout this week and I tried asking a date for tomorrow. She had been in Louisiana from Tuesday to today for work and she's going to Mexico City for work from Sun - Thur. She said she was a bit busy this weekend and suggested next weekend or later. So it wasn't a firm reschedule (like an exact date), and she obviously is going to be out for a chunk of time, but I guess in anybody's experience, would you say that interest might not be that strong? Or am I overthinking that one? Not terribly experienced in the online dating game...

Say what you want unapologetically. Graciously accept the response you receive.

 

[MrPink93485]

She expressed desire to see you after the trip...that's a decent enough sign of interest. That she couldn't go out during the three nights sandwiched between two long distance trips is not a bad sign.

Your plan here is simple...text her sparingly during the trip (if at all), ask her out again when she gets back. That answer will be more revealing.

In the meantime, talk to other girls via online dating.

Say what you want unapologetically. Graciously accept the response you receive.

Cheers, thanks for the input.

 

[bluethree]

How aggressive are you guys on Tinder?

I.E. If you send your opening line, girl responds, you respond, then get nothing back for a while - how long do you wait before you say something else? I'm more used to OKC where you can send somebody a message and then not hear from them for 24 hours - while I feel like Tinder is more of a constant kind of communication and if you let the conversation die early it's never going to recover. Am I wrong on this?

I never send a message twice without a response, I just wait and if she doesnt get back to me then whatever. Actually my experience has been the exact opposite - girls who respond quickly all the time and who get into lengthy convos are just using the app as a distraction/for attention.

I've had girls get back to me days later (and Ive done the same) and it's never really affected my chances of meeting them.

 

[NIGHT-]

Hung out with a girl twice and everything has been going fine. But today I leave my subdivision and see my ex's car in an apartment building parking lot... Knowing that the guy she is seeing lives literally 2 minutes from me has cut me all over again.

 

[Benzychenz]

I have a 6S and it seems like the app just doesn't want to do anything half the time. At one point if I was typing a message and if I touched any other part of the app other than the keyboard it would crash... Stuff like that just makes me feel the "sent" message doesn't actually mean it sent my message half of the time.

I straight up deleted my account last night and decided to try again today, been getting matches and seeing people I'd never seen previously. App is just jank.

Yeah deleting your account and starting over every now and then seems to do wonders.
The app seems to prioritise new accounts, probably to get them a bunch of matches and get them hooked.