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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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Booser

Member
Hung out with a girl twice and everything has been going fine. But today I leave my subdivision and see my ex's car in an apartment building parking lot... Knowing that the guy she is seeing lives literally 2 minutes from me has cut me all over again.

I hate when that happens. The main reason why I'm hesitant about accepting the friend request from the ex. Old wounds reopened, and the worst is always the new bf. Situations like yours can't be helped unfortunately. Try and focus on yourself and future girls, hard as that may be.
 

Weckum

Member
So I don't think no contact works best for me. I feel I definitely move on easier, quicker, and with 99% less crippling anxiety if I keep people around platonically for a little.

I feel I actually start to notice the bad things about people I was once romantically interested in and it doesn't hold me back from seeing other people and working on myself. It's been hard trying to improve myself when I've been immobilized with anxiety :(

Overall I just feel better I think.

This happened to me this week. Met my ex again after her breaking up beginning of June. We decided to catch a movie and some food. I had fun with her and we laughed, but I realised she never once asked how I was and mostly just talked about herself.

I dropped her off at her place at the end of the night and I realised I'm completely not interested in her romantically anymore.
 

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
What do you guys usually say in text after a first date? I honestly never really know what to say.

I says hey. Make some small talk (how are you?, Etc). Then I ask them out for a second date.


This is assuming the first date went well.
 

Septimius

Junior Member
Hey guys.

We're closing in on the 20,000 post limit, so we should start thinking about who should make the new thread. There are plenty of people who frequently post, and I'd love for one of you guys to take the thread. What do people think?

Zackie? Zaraki? gaiages? Miles? GK86? stn? The list goes on

Code:
Who Posted? Total Posts: 18,850
User Name	Posts
ZackieChan	1,174
gaiages	550
Miles Quaritch	524
Zaraki_Kenpachi	485
GK86	422
Llyranor	363
stn	344
Advocatus Diaboli	341
Gotdatmoney	315
Jokab	299
Salamando	292
Jason's Ultimatum	234
vern	230
OCDChewie	215
Lone_Prodigy	210
Granadier	193
gwailo	192
peanutbutterlatte	191
Royal_Phalanx	184
bluethree	177
Gooch: The Destroyer	173
Cool Guy Sami	170
bcl0328	162
Kurtofan	158
Arsenic Yellow	155
Septimius	155
Astral	134
n64coder	134
Oblivion	132
War Peaceman	130
Ray Wonder	113
MattyG	111
Gray Matter	110
LUCKY n WILD	109
electricshake	107
Blitzrules240	106
 

The Hermit

Member
How aggressive are you guys on Tinder?

I.E. If you send your opening line, girl responds, you respond, then get nothing back for a while - how long do you wait before you say something else? I'm more used to OKC where you can send somebody a message and then not hear from them for 24 hours - while I feel like Tinder is more of a constant kind of communication and if you let the conversation die early it's never going to recover. Am I wrong on this?

it really depends.

I've hooked up with girls that took like 5 days to respond a msg, and had nothing with other who responded immediately.

but I always try to mirror her response... if it takes too long, I take a bit long, he she replies fast so do I
 

gaiages

Banned
At first I was like "whew, didn't make the list" because I was looking at the bottom, then I scrolled up...

=_=

I dunno how much I can help with the new thread, my activity is irregular these days lol

Going by that list some people need to chill a bit with replying. This is not the ask "thisguy" for advice thread.

Because if the regulars don't respond to everything, people can get ignored? If it was just people asking questions, that wouldn't be very helpful.
 

gwailo

Banned
Going by that list some people need to chill a bit with replying. This is not the ask "thisguy" for advice thread.

TBH most of the questions here can be answered pretty simply (ie, just ask them out, don't text as much, don't be overinvested, etc) and it doesn't matter where they are coming from since people are going to answer them roughly the same way. Everyone is welcome to put in their opinions and experience of course, but again, a lot of those questions are replied with "first post nailed it" kind of responses so there's no real big need for discussion.
 

Denzar

Member
Update/vent/bragging

2nd Date with introverted girl concluded with a long hug and kissing. It was fun and super relax. Watched a movie, smoked a doob, drank special beers and talked for hours. I like this girl a lot. Which also makes me panic a little. I know it's only been the second date, and there's no reason to do so, but I don't want this to get serious at all. I'm getting my mojo back and I'm ready to hunt.*cocks gun*
 
#9 that's about what I woulda guessed.

Going by that list some people need to chill a bit with replying. This is not the ask "thisguy" for advice thread.

Perhaps, or you knoe, people can post what they want and people can decide for themselves. We have an ignoe list for a reason.

______________

Jason's Ulimatim is living proof that you don't need to give or take advice to post a lot :p
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
How aggressive are you guys on Tinder?

I.E. If you send your opening line, girl responds, you respond, then get nothing back for a while - how long do you wait before you say something else? I'm more used to OKC where you can send somebody a message and then not hear from them for 24 hours - while I feel like Tinder is more of a constant kind of communication and if you let the conversation die early it's never going to recover. Am I wrong on this?

it really depends.

I've hooked up with girls that took like 5 days to respond a msg, and had nothing with other who responded immediately.

but I always try to mirror her response... if it takes too long, I take a bit long, he she replies fast so do I

This
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
Lmao I just wanted to share something that just happened.

There was a girl who's number I got about a week ago at a bar. As we were texting, she said a couple of things that were turn offs to me personally (like going to church since I'm not religious and using lmba instead of lmao). She invited me to an event this weekend but instead of ghosting her, I told her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go out since I was trying to see where it was going with another girl. At first she took it gracefully and said good luck. 5 minutes later she proceeded to text me some mini-rant about how I shouldn't have asked her for her number, like I'm not allowed to date multiple people or something lol.
 

Big Blue

Member
Lmao I just wanted to share something that just happened.

There was a girl who's number I got about a week ago at a bar. As we were texting, she said a couple of things that were turn offs to me personally ]like going to church since I'm not religious and using lmba instead of lmao). She invited me to an event this weekend but instead of ghosting her, I told her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go out since I was trying to see where it was going with another girl. At first she took it gracefully and said good luck. 5 minutes later she proceeded to text me some mini-rant about how I shouldn't have asked her for her number, like I'm not allowed to date multiple people or something lol.
In regards to the bolded, really?

And while you really didn't owe her an explanation, you gave her one. You could have been more subtle. Aside from bragging, what's the point of this post?
 

vern

Member
In regards to the bolded, really?

And while you really didn't owe her an explanation, you gave her one. You could have been more subtle. Aside from bragging, what's the point of this post?

I think the point was that some people are crazy.

Also I'm dumb cuz it took me awhile to realize the b meant butt. I was wondering why this uptight church girl would swap ass with balls.
 
Lmao I just wanted to share something that just happened.

There was a girl who's number I got about a week ago at a bar. As we were texting, she said a couple of things that were turn offs to me personally (like going to church since I'm not religious and using lmba instead of lmao). She invited me to an event this weekend but instead of ghosting her, I told her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go out since I was trying to see where it was going with another girl. At first she took it gracefully and said good luck. 5 minutes later she proceeded to text me some mini-rant about how I shouldn't have asked her for her number, like I'm not allowed to date multiple people or something lol.

Well, what you said was bad form. Half the posts in this thread are from people who are pissed off about the same thing happening to them. Just say that you're not interested, or ignore it. No need to be a jerk about it.

Your stories about her remind me of the girl I dated who said "oh gosh" during sex. I think I mentioned that somewhere in this thread.
 

FLAguy954

Junior Member
In regards to the bolded, really?

And while you really didn't owe her an explanation, you gave her one. You could have been more subtle. Aside from bragging, what's the point of this post?

I was just making a point that she most likely doesn't take too kindly to profanity. I am hardly bragging by the way,.

Well, what you said was bad form. Half the posts in this thread are from people who are pissed off about the same thing happening to them. Just say that you're not interested, or ignore it. No need to be a jerk about it.

Your stories about her remind me of the girl I dated who said "oh gosh" during sex. I think I mentioned that somewhere in this thread.

I wasn't a jerk about it at all. I thought that situation was interesting because we all tell each other to accept rejection or 'no's' gracefully but here is this girl who did the exact opposite. This is nowhere near that "oh gosh" girl, I remember that post by the way.
 
I was just making a point that she most likely doesn't take too kindly to profanity. I am hardly bragging by the way,.



I wasn't a jerk about it at all. I thought that situation was interesting because we all tell each other to accept rejection or 'no's' gracefully but here is this girl who did the exact opposite. This is nowhere near that "oh gosh" girl, I remember that post by the way.

Eh, I think there's value in letting someone down easily, like not bragging that you've got another girl you're working.
 
At first I was like "whew, didn't make the list" because I was looking at the bottom, then I scrolled up...

=_=

I dunno how much I can help with the new thread, my activity is irregular these days lol



Because if the regulars don't respond to everything, people can get ignored? If it was just people asking questions, that wouldn't be very helpful.
:lol I just did the same thing. Not a good way to start my weekend.
 

Leeness

Member
If you're still going to do your whole pity-party, negative, world's-out-to-get-me/everything's hopeless schtick, I'm all for that.

Lol, you can block me if you want.

But in any case, seeing as for the last dude I met basically ran out on me without saying bye, I'm done and won't be posting until I inevitably get lonely again.

But no one is asking you to like me or reply to me or read my posts, or even give a shit if I'm alive or dead, so calm down lol

Edit: Sorry I don't mean to be a bitch. It's just like...sorry. This is the only place I talk about things like this and I'm sorry I annoy and anger some of you so much. Believe me, I annoy and anger myself, so...I'm sorry. I don't intend to post much any more because I don't intend to try to talk to/bother guys any more again, at least for the next little while.
 

olitheoblong

Neo Member
Hey guys a little help please, I was messaging a girl on tinder I thought things were going well but she just stopped messaging so I guessed she wasn't into me but today 3 or 4 weeks later she's added me on happn, according to happn she comes past my work everyday. I have the same profile pictures on both I dont even know what to say to her now any ideas or just leave it?
 

Roufianos

Member
This girl I used to date messaged me asking to meet. We haven't spoken for like 6 months so I checked Facebook and see she recently entered into a relationship.

I took it that she only wanted to meet to show off so I plan to turn up and show her how many fucks I give. I tell her I'd love to meet and act super happy for her when she breaks the news.

I think she was turned on by how disinterested I was. She kept apologising for us not working out and she said I looked "amazing" about 5 times.

Then she asks "Is this wrong?" to which I reply no because I'm not thinking of you in that way. Lastly, she says let's get to know each other in the long term and see what happens.

Something about me really sets this girl off, the first night I met her she begged me to sleep in her bed. I'm not sure if I should see her again, I felt bad for her boyfriend.
 

gaiages

Banned
Hey guys a little help please, I was messaging a girl on tinder I thought things were going well but she just stopped messaging so I guessed she wasn't into me but today 3 or 4 weeks later she's added me on happn, according to happn she comes past my work everyday. I have the same profile pictures on both I dont even know what to say to her now any ideas or just leave it?

Just leave it be, no use messaging her if she wasn't interested before. I mean, she's just walking by your work lol

(Am I the only one that thinks happn is weird as hell? I just asked my bf about it and... huh.)
 
Lol, you can block me if you want.

But in any case, seeing as for the last dude I met basically ran out on me without saying bye, I'm done and won't be posting until I inevitably get lonely again.

But no one is asking you to like me or reply to me or read my posts, or even give a shit if I'm alive or dead, so calm down lol

Edit: Sorry I don't mean to be a bitch. It's just like...sorry. This is the only place I talk about things like this and I'm sorry I annoy and anger some of you so much. Believe me, I annoy and anger myself, so...I'm sorry. I don't intend to post much any more because I don't intend to try to talk to/bother guys any more again, at least for the next little while.

It's not actually bothering anyone. I think people just wanna help but don't really know how. But if you just need a place to vent better here than somewhere else. It's not good to keep things bottled up
 

Denzar

Member
This girl I used to date messaged me asking to meet. We haven't spoken for like 6 months so I checked Facebook and see she recently entered into a relationship.

I took it that she only wanted to meet to show off so I plan to turn up and show her how many fucks I give. I tell her I'd love to meet and act super happy for her when she breaks the news.

I think she was turned on by how disinterested I was. She kept apologising for us not working out and she said I looked "amazing" about 5 times.

Then she asks "Is this wrong?" to which I reply no because I'm not thinking of you in that way. Lastly, she says let's get to know each other in the long term and see what happens.

Something about me really sets this girl off, the first night I met her she begged me to sleep in her bed. I'm not sure if I should see her again, I felt bad for her boyfriend.

You shoudln't. She has a boyfriend and you stopped dating half a year ago. Besides you made it clear you don't really care for this girl, so why meet up in the first place. Kind of a dick move, no?
 

Roufianos

Member
You shoudln't. She has a boyfriend and you stopped dating half a year ago. Besides you made it clear you don't really care for this girl, so why meet up in the first place. Kind of a dick move, no?

I don't think so, it's not like I was the one who arranged it.

If anything it was a dick move by her to ask to see me and then say those things when she already has a boyfriend.

The reason I went is complicated. The last time I saw her, she started a big scene in a restaurant because I didn't wear a shirt (I had just got back from a long holiday in Cyprus and barely had any clean clothes).

She went in a really bad mood and called me short, questioned my intelligence and suggested I should start going gym.

I just took it and tried to make things work but obviously they didn't. I was a spineless coward back then. I'm 5ft10, went to one of the best Unis in the UK and so what if I was skinny, she still found me attractive enough to throw herself at me when we first met. I should have stood up for myself.

So yea, I've dated a few girls since then and really stopped being the nice guy. I'm not a dick but I won't act desperate and I'll only give as much affection as I'm shown.

Really I met her just to test myself, could I meet someone I really used to like and act with a lot more dignity.
 

Roufianos

Member
How aggressive are you guys on Tinder?

I.E. If you send your opening line, girl responds, you respond, then get nothing back for a while - how long do you wait before you say something else? I'm more used to OKC where you can send somebody a message and then not hear from them for 24 hours - while I feel like Tinder is more of a constant kind of communication and if you let the conversation die early it's never going to recover. Am I wrong on this?

Everytime I've met a girl off Tinder, it's been pretty much back and forth straight away.

If a girl sends a dead answer then you can try and start a new topic but after a while I usually get the message and give up.
 

Denzar

Member
I don't think so, it's not like I was the one who arranged it.

If anything it was a dick move by her to ask to see me and then say those things when she already has a boyfriend.

The reason I went is complicated. The last time I saw her, she started a big scene in a restaurant because I didn't wear a shirt (I had just got back from a long holiday in Cyprus and barely had any clean clothes).

She went in a really bad mood and called me short, questioned my intelligence and suggested I should start going gym.

I just took it and tried to make things work but obviously they didn't. I was a spineless coward back then. I'm 5ft10, went to one of the best Unis in the UK and so what if I was skinny, she still found me attractive enough to throw herself at me when we first met. I should have stood up for myself.

So yea, I've dated a few girls since then and really stopped being the nice guy. I'm not a dick but I won't act desperate and I'll only give as much affection as I'm shown.

Really I met her just to test myself, could I meet someone I really used to like and act with a lot more dignity.

So, it's a form of payback? And/or a test for yourself?
 

Llyranor

Member
I wouldn't have bothered wasting my time meeting up with such a person to prove anything. You shouldn't HAVE to prove anything. You should already KNOW that you are awesome and not require external validation.

Ok, so she knows that you're better off without her? Now what? What was the point if you don't care about her?
 
I don't think so, it's not like I was the one who arranged it.

If anything it was a dick move by her to ask to see me and then say those things when she already has a boyfriend.

The reason I went is complicated. The last time I saw her, she started a big scene in a restaurant because I didn't wear a shirt (I had just got back from a long holiday in Cyprus and barely had any clean clothes).

She went in a really bad mood and called me short, questioned my intelligence and suggested I should start going gym.

I just took it and tried to make things work but obviously they didn't. I was a spineless coward back then. I'm 5ft10, went to one of the best Unis in the UK and so what if I was skinny, she still found me attractive enough to throw herself at me when we first met. I should have stood up for myself.

So yea, I've dated a few girls since then and really stopped being the nice guy. I'm not a dick but I won't act desperate and I'll only give as much affection as I'm shown.

Really I met her just to test myself, could I meet someone I really used to like and act with a lot more dignity.

You sound A) bitter and B) like you don actually like her. So why are you wasting time entertaining hanging out? Just say "no I'm good" and move on with your life. Don't you have actual better things to spend your free time on than proving pointless shit to yourself?
 
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