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Describe a game you hate and see if people can guess it.

LordOfChaos

LordOfChaos

Member
Walk a lot, but at the right distance and speed, press button to kill dude every now and again. Repeat every year for some reason you can't quite comprehend.
 
T

Trace

Banned
ShockingAlberto said:
The most generic white guy character puts on a hat, tucks his nose into a scarf, and then starts talking like Batman like some sort of fucking stupid Reddit jerk-off fantasy. He openly and casually murders everyone, from construction site workers to drug dealers, and ruins the lives of everyone around him without any sense of introspection (see: Reddit jerk-off fantasy) but they all love him regardless.

The game is a boring mish-mash of template open-world design with terrible driving controls and terribly controlling hacking puzzles to explode non-explosive switchboxes and electronics. You sit and wait (and wait and wait and wait) for enemies to go back to their normal patrols, because they forgot their friend just died to a crane dropping a steel drum on his head two minutes prior, and then you finish off the rest with guns. Then you realize you could have just done the gun thing from the beginning and it would have made no difference.

The game is ugly as hell for being the harbinger of a new generation and shows its cross-gen roots with even light examination. There's a borderline racist storyline involving black gangs that culminates in a boss fight on a roof where enemies in tanktops take multiple assault rifle shots to the chest to stun. This game ends incredibly abruptly and poorly, but you can't be mad, because at least this piece of shit is over and you never have to suffer through it again.
Click to expand...

Watch_Dogs.
 
H

Harlequin

Member
Harlequin said:
1.We follow a poor caricature of a once-beloved video game icon through sleep-inducing levels on a terribly told journey to find a dear relative only to shoot them in the face a second after we've found them.

2.A game whose main gameplay should consist of jumping from rooftop to rooftop but whose cities have streets most of which are too wide to jump over. Featuring a terrible story, dumb missions and an incredibly boring protagonist.
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FantasticMrSnake said:
1. Uncharted 3?
2. Assasin's creed 3?
Click to expand...

1. Nope. At what point do we shoot a relative of Nate in the face in Uncharted 3 :p? The game I'm talking about is an action-adventure game but it came out before Uncharted 3 (before Uncharted 2, even).

2. Yup :).
 
L

Lime

Member
ShockingAlberto said:
The most generic white guy character puts on a hat, tucks his nose into a scarf, and then starts talking like Batman like some sort of fucking stupid Reddit jerk-off fantasy. He openly and casually murders everyone, from construction site workers to drug dealers, and ruins the lives of everyone around him without any sense of introspection (see: Reddit jerk-off fantasy) but they all love him regardless.

The game is a boring mish-mash of template open-world design with terrible driving controls and terribly controlling hacking puzzles to explode non-explosive switchboxes and electronics. You sit and wait (and wait and wait and wait) for enemies to go back to their normal patrols, because they forgot their friend just died to a crane dropping a steel drum on his head two minutes prior, and then you finish off the rest with guns. Then you realize you could have just done the gun thing from the beginning and it would have made no difference.

The game is ugly as hell for being the harbinger of a new generation and shows its cross-gen roots with even light examination. There's a borderline racist storyline involving black gangs that culminates in a boss fight on a roof where enemies in tanktops take multiple assault rifle shots to the chest to stun. This game ends incredibly abruptly and poorly, but you can't be mad, because at least this piece of shit is over and you never have to suffer through it again.
Click to expand...

Reminds me off this great review of Watch Dogs I read earlier this week:

Watch Dogs is crap.

Will I ever play it again? No.

Final Thought: Watch Dogs is the kind of crap where you don’t feel like whoever laid the egg even really needed a shite in the first place. It’s not just crap, but pointless.

I mean, I get it. Watch Dogs is supposed to be some sort of amazing open-world hacking game thingy—a cross between Assassin’s Creed and, I don’t know, Uplink. And it was obviously supposed to be a coming-out party for Ubisoft on the next generation of consoles.

Unfortunately, however, the game stinks of no one actually making it really being that convinced about what Watch Dogs should be. An amazing open-world hacking game? Well, not really, unless you find looking through security cameras and tagging enemies/pushing switches (mostly what you’ll use it for) amazing, or really, really love simplistic pipe-flow puzzles (you don’t, I’m telling you now, you don’t.) And it’s clear that Ubisoft are aware of that, so the game includes loads of stealth and shooty bits (and endless, oh god endless, escape the cops/baddies sequences). They’re tedious. So, of course, they’ve shoved in loads of “things” to do in the world, which (sadly) usually amount to more security camera fiddling, or stealthing, or shooting, and none of which offer much of a reward at all (indeed, I didn’t really bother with any of them.)

This is one of those games with an upgrade system where you will almost never remember to buy upgrades, because they’re not only uninteresting but unnecessary.

But really… if I want to get down to why Watch Dogs is just a bucketload of piss, you can’t do much better than its epic triple-A storytelling. This is a game that opens with your hero almost killing some random guy for killing his niece, who you then… give to another guy… and then seem to forget about for the entire game. For almost the whole thing I had no idea why my hero was doing any of the things he was doing. There’s some sort of weird “you’re sort of Batman, or something?” plot, but it only makes sense (I think?) if you’re doing all the crap unrewarding side missions, so it just came out of nowhere, or really why he’s doing any of that shite considering for most of the game his sister has been kidnapped. It’s a game where things happen and your character does stuff, but it might as well all be in a different language for the amount of impact it will have.

Oh god, and I haven’t even mentioned the tragic sidekick figure, a Quebecois rip-off of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It’s actually pathetic. My ears burned with embarrassment for the people that signed that off.

There’s one good bit in Watch Dogs, and that’s when you use your l33t hacking skills to stop an old man’s pacemaker. It’s clever! And totally made by our hero going “I suppose this is the point where I am supposed to be conflicted and say how revenge is empty… but actually that was fucking great. Loved it, would kill old man again, 10/10.”

What a colossal waste of my time.

[Update 3/02/16: Was having a little tête-à-tête with friend of the site Ian Adams where he mentioned that Tom Clancy’s Ubisoft’s Tom Clancy’s The Tom Clancy’s Division is “a game where the enemies are exclusively young black men in hoodies.”

This reminded me one of the main things that bothered me about Watch Dogs, but which I forgot about, because the end-game also forgets about it: The middle bit of the game (which has really little to do with anything) is about our hero infiltrating an Chicago gang of… well, exclusively black “gangsta” caricatures. We’re talking an unrestrained psychopath called “Iraq” (who is apparently a really good hacker, but we never see him do it?) and his Fat Albert comedy sidekick who lives with his granny. They all live in big destitute tower blocks that directly references the terrible income inequality and violence that scars real-world Chicago, but it’s genuinely just a backdrop to watch a self-appointed white hero “clean up the scum” or whatever by killing a lot (and I mean a lot) of young black men. There’s a moment in the game, actually, where I noticed that Bedbug (aforementioned Fat Albert comedy sidekick) is only nineteen. Really reminded me of one of the most powerful moments of Joe Cornish’s stunning 2011 film Attack the Block: when you discover that Moses, the tough leader of the gang, is really only a child. I mean, here the revelation means absolutely nothing, because all the black men are video game characters intentionally designated as other, not for empathy or identification.

Watch Dogs is a racist video game. That’s not to say it is a bigoted video game—this isn’t pointed. It’s simply the kind of thoughtless everyday racism that infests most cultural works. As I said—it’s so pervasive, that even I forgot about it after spending a fair chunk of this game utterly raging about it!

While I don’t think the representation of black Chicagoans is especially salvageable, I do briefly wonder about a game where you play, instead of an entitled white guy, a young black hacker in Chicago, steeped in racial and economic inequality, whose attempt to pull himself up leads to his niece being killed and being forced to spy on and attack his own neighbourhood at the hand of a powerful white criminal syndicate. It’s not the most thought-out synopsis—I certainly wouldn’t attempt to write it—but it’s interesting to think how you could make a triple-A game that says something about race rather than, you know, simply being racist. Never mind, eh?]
Click to expand...
 
T

Triscuitable

Member
Creaking said:
That'd be Red Faction: Armageddon, right? Never played it beyond a demo, but it essentially killed the series and that sick destruction engine, so I guess I kind of hate it a little bit too.
Click to expand...

You aced it. Let's try another one.

It's a franchise reboot, but now you have a scrappy sidekick who is irritating from the get-go. They're gone before the tutorial is over, because they're definitely given all that buildup so they could be killed off after ten minutes. Also in this iteration: the recasting of a beloved voice actor, a stupid conspiracy plot, a poor attempt to ape the previous three games' best moments, and level design so linear yet maze-like, you'll wonder exactly what the devs did to fuck this game up so hard.
 
C

Creaking

He touched the black heart of a mod
Triscuitable said:
You aced it. Let's try another one.

It's a franchise reboot, but now you have a scrappy sidekick who is irritating from the get-go. They're gone before the tutorial is over, because they're definitely given all that buildup so they could be killed off after ten minutes. Also in this iteration: the recasting of a beloved voice actor, a stupid conspiracy plot, a poor attempt to ape the previous three games' best moments, and level design so linear yet maze-like, you'll wonder exactly what the devs did to fuck this game up so hard.
Click to expand...


Shot in the dark, 'cause I've never played any of the series:

Thief?
 
C

Creaking

He touched the black heart of a mod
Triscuitable said:
God damn, two in a row.
Click to expand...

All that time reading complaints and not actually playing games is finally paying off.

Jack-Black-Forces-A-Smile-In-Nacho-Libre-Gif.gif
 
M

MasterMongoose

Member
1. A lot of people especially hate two sections of this game (later patched), where the verb you do is in the game's title. It's a well-known launch game. It may actually be the nail in the coffin for the series.

2. (Hate is a little strong for this one, but...) Walk forward, press "X" a bunch to win every battle including numerous boss fights, and have the most linear levels in a game that isn't FF13. Most levels are dead straight paths to the next cutscene. The story is your main motivation and even that is nonsensical.
The beginning of the game "Raiden's" you.
This game is beloved by many, too. It's strange to me how often FF13's linearity is brought up but not this game's.

Hint: It is not FFX
 
C

Creaking

He touched the black heart of a mod
MasterMongoose said:
1. A lot of people especially hate two sections of this game (later patched), where the verb you do is in the game's title. It's a well-known launch game. It may actually be the nail in the coffin for the series.
Click to expand...

Killzone Shadow Fall. Emphasis on "Fall".
 
C

c0Zm1c

Member
There's an undeserved 2 on the end and I sometimes see it called the saviour of MMOs because of its supposedly radical new approach, even though much of its concepts can be found in the first and much better game. Fuck this game.
 
N

NinjaCoachZ

Member
c0Zm1c said:
There's an undeserved 2 on the end and I sometimes see it called the saviour of MMOs because of its supposedly radical new approach, even though much of its concepts can be found in the first and much better game. Fuck this game.
Click to expand...

Phantasy Star Online 2?

MasterMongoose said:
2. (Hate is a little strong for this one, but...) Walk forward, press "X" a bunch to win every battle including numerous boss fights, and have the most linear levels in a game that isn't FF13. Most levels are dead straight paths to the next cutscene. The story is your main motivation and even that is nonsensical.
The beginning of the game "Raiden's" you.
This game is beloved by many, too. It's strange to me how often FF13's linearity is brought up but not this game's.

Hint: It is not FFX
Click to expand...

Kingdom hearts II?

AndrewDean84xX said:
Artsy fartsy design
Black and white
dude on cell phone
Boring as fuck!
Click to expand...

Hotel Dusk?

TheExodu5 said:
It's related to my avatar in a way. One of the most beloved games of all time.
Click to expand...

Grim Fandango?

EDIT: Saw your "block" post. Uh, Tetris?
 
M

Mozendo

Member
This can be described to 2 games I hate.
These games use the "I'm edgy but through the power of friendship I change" character development.
Also they're action RPGs
 
D

Dryk

Member
c0Zm1c said:
There's an undeserved 2 on the end and I sometimes see it called the saviour of MMOs because of its supposedly radical new approach, even though much of its concepts can be found in the first and much better game. Fuck this game.
Click to expand...
Guild Wars 2?
 
M

MoonFrog

Member
A series sold its soul to survive. It survived, brought in many new fans, but lost its unique voice. Here's to hoping there are glimmers of the old soul in the soon to be released sequel (in America)! The entirety of the soul is a lost cause at this point.
 
T

Teriyaki Blues

Member
MoonFrog said:
A series sold its soul to survive. It survived, brought in many new fans, but lost its unique voice. Here's to hoping there are glimmers of the old soul in the soon to be released sequel (in America)! The entirety of the soul is a lost cause at this point.
Click to expand...

Fire Emblem without a doubt.
 
S

Stallion Dan

Member
Game gives you loads of things to do, except they're all shit and I don't see why anyone would want to play them. The game mechanics and animations are mostly 6-10 years out of date.
 
mikemandey

mikemandey

Member
This should be easy lol..

My first game of the series..
Playing it on the handheld made my hands hurt, camera controls were bad, the combat felt awkward, stiff and slow, early game I managed to play solo but later the game became too hard for me.
 
H

hooijdonk17

Member
This thread made me realize how few games I actually 'hate'.. I don't really hate the following, but what I feel is a very close amount of contempt.

It's a game about women with enormous jiggly boobs and bubbly butts. The gameplay is simple and blatant male fan service thinly disguised as a rather shallow medieval fantasy 2D action. It's an unintended litmus test for poor taste.
 
poodaddy

poodaddy

Member
YoYo Switch said:
On an expert's authority.
Mine.
Click to expand...

So you're just gonna act like an ass then and try to shit up this thread like you did the other one? Just chill and stop trolling dude. You're not as funny as you seem to believe you are; you're just immature and insufferable. Maybe go take a nap and let the inebriation subside a bit.
 
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