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[kris.]

from the AV Club review:

The “plot” is really an excuse to hop from one app to another; there are stops in the lands of Candy Crush, WeChat, Just Dance, Instagram, Spotify, and (for the kids!) Dropbox. That last one proves crucial, saving the fugitive trio from a pursuing robot. “Don’t worry, it can’t get in,” Jailbreak helpfully notes. “It’s illegal malware and this app is secure.” At the climax, a Twitter bird comes to the rescue.

Good. Lord. I kinda want to see this just for the cringe factor.

 

[whyamihere]

‘The Emoji Movie’ Is Almost as Bad and Brutally Depressing as Everything Else in 2017

lol. But also. Ugh.

 

[Stevey]

This is the first I've heard of this movie.

Humanity is doomed.

 

[bangbang i'm a timpani]

you quit silicone valley to do the emoji movie?

 

[thelatestmodel]

Can't wait for my daughter to drag me to see it

Act like you're going to and then go see literally anything else

 

[ahoyhoy]

Not surprised. This movie had cash grab written all over it since it was announced.

One day we'll get an emoji film that takes the source material seriously.

 

[Dash_Riprock]

Patrick Stewart deserved better than this.

At this point I have the feeling Patrick Stewart would star in a porno if the check was large enough.

 

[torre_avenue]

I can imagine Sony made this movie because it would be somewhat profitable before release with all the co-sponsorships and brand appearances.

 

[ramoisdead]

The Poochie of movies? Jesus Christ.

Saw that review....


...pure lolz

 

[Gordon Shumway]

The Poochie of movies.

 

[Captain Zyrain]

It's showing here at 5:15PM.. the kids wanted to see it.. do I go? Do I poke them with a stick in their eye instead?

 

[Kthulhu]

So Sony Pictures is gonna fold after this and Marvel gets Spidey back right?

Cause frankly that's all the interest I have in this movie.

Aren't they making a Venom movie?

 

[Sulik2]

So how many major bombs can Sony Pictures tolerate before they are finally forced to sell off the movie division?

 

[BoogieWoogie]

Wasn't Sony Pictures basically betting everything on this movie?

RIP

They were betting everything on THIS??

Good Lord.

 

[tedtropy]

It has a talking poop emoji, so we'll probably take our 4-year old daughter.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

emoji movie sounds like everything I hate rolled into one disgusting package

awesome

 

[zeemumu]

So The Emoji Movie is to Inside out what Food Fight or Pixels is to Wreck it Ralph

 

[Rodney McKay]

Can y'all imagine if this was Sir Patrick Stewart last role?

That'd be worse than Raul Julia in the Street Fighter movie (which at least is campy fun-bad, instead of just crass bad-bad like this seems to be).

 

[Fancyarcher]

Looks like the dumpster-fire of Sony will continue to its "end". At least they were able to keep costs down via using Foreign animation.

I suspect there will be a lot of videos a year from now mocking this film.

 

[Earthbound64]

💩 💩 💩 / 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

 

[DecoReturns]

When a movie gets reviews this bad, I always get the urge to watch them in theaters.

 

[Biggest-Geek-Ever]

http://www.vulture.com/2017/07/the-emoji-movie-will-send-you-into-a-spiral-emoji-of-despair.html

It is one of the darkest, most dismaying films I have ever seen, much less one ostensibly made for children.

This is a film that seems beamed from a near future in which nothing goes right; ”words," as the kids in the film agree, ”aren't cool" anymore; and Patrick Stewart making jokes about soft shits is the new prestige TV. But what do I know? At my screening, which was for both press and a handful of unfortunate families, at the first sighting of her favorite rainbow-colored icon, a little girl behind me cried out, adoringly, ”It's Instagram!" A new age of heroes is born.

D:

 

[HazySaiyan]

🙈

 

[Haloid1177]

Aren't they making a Venom movie?

After this, are they?

 

[Chairhome]

Yikes. I just bought some 3D tickets for a showing tonight, gonna take one of my sons.

You least favorite one?

Jk

 

[Leafhopper]

When a movie gets reviews this bad, I always get the urge to watch them in theaters.

Don't give them fucking money.

 

[QuantumBro]

So how many major bombs can Sony Pictures tolerate before they are finally forced to sell off the movie division?

As long as they keep getting money from John Schnatter to make these advertisements, Sony Pictures will never die.

you quit silicone valley to do the emoji movie?

He quit because the other stars of Silicon Valley didn't donate to Hillary Clinton.

 

[Kthulhu]

One day we'll get an emoji film that takes the source material seriously.

Would that just be like that movie in Idiocracy but with a phone instead of an ass?

 

[Harmen]

Wasn't Sony Pictures basically betting everything on this movie?

RIP

Seriously?!

If so, they had it coming given their shit output. This studio really doesn't seem to have any clue at all.

 

[J_Viper]

Well now I have to see this

 

[Temascos]

The Poochie of movies you say?

And how the hell did Sony think this was a good idea for a movie?

 

[Brakke]

🙈

 

[Dereck]

 

[Kthulhu]

Wasn't Sony Pictures basically betting everything on this movie?

RIP

You're high if you think this movie won't make bank.

 

[MUnited83]

Wasn't Sony Pictures basically betting everything on this movie?

RIP

Pretty sure they weren't, no.

 

[Choppasmith]

you quit silicone valley to do the emoji movie?

Apparently he passed up reprising his role as Fred for the BH6 series too.

 

[oti]

Even worse than the Angry Birds movie?

 

[radios shipping overview]

Can RT go into negative numbers?

 

[shira]

played by Patrick Stewart

Oh wait is that real?

 

[NinjaCoachZ]

The Poochie of movies.

‘The Emoji Movie’ Is Almost as Bad and Brutally Depressing as Everything Else in 2017

It is one of the darkest, most dismaying films I have ever seen, much less one ostensibly made for children.

This is amazing.

 

[Fancyarcher]

The Poochie of movies you say?

And how the hell did Sony think this was a good idea for a movie?

They were desperate for something I'd imagine. So they greenlit what they thought would be a good idea. Didn't work out so well that way though.

 

[Yohane]

No way! 😞

 

[Jezan]

🙂📽▶️💩⁉️

🕐😪
🕒😪
🕗😪
🕦😪 💪🏼

📺👀

(Sorry, I tried)

 

[Frankenstrat]

Oh yes.

I'mma need to hear Korey and Martin and ESPECIALLY Girtz on this garbage fire right here tonight.

Glorious.

I'll be seeing it soon 😥

YES

Will they bring out the fuck you for this one? I can't wait

 

[Earthbound64]

you quit silicone valley to do the emoji movie?

The fake stuff's no good anyway. Too uncanny.

 

[hikarutilmitt]

The Emoji Movie is Inside Out crossed with a Sony commercial and dunked in toxic ooze

Wow. I think we all expected it to be bad, but this...

Can y'all imagine if this was Sir Patrick Stewart last role?

YOU TAKE THAT BACK. DON'T YOU DARE MAKE THIS HAPPEN

 

[Moppeh]

http://www.vulture.com/2017/07/the-emoji-movie-will-send-you-into-a-spiral-emoji-of-despair.html



D:

Oh no

 

[jstripes]

Well, this isn't entirely unexpected.

Can they make a Twitter movie next? It can just be a crowd of people screaming at each other for two hours.

 

[Draper]

 

[OmegaSmash]

🤔😥