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[siddx]

Figured it might deserve it's own thread.
I posted this in the How do you think people on Gaf perceive you? thread.
I tried to get everybody who posted in there, so if you aren't on here, that is why.

How I perceive the posters on gaf...

viciouskillersquirrel : Exclusively eats with a spork
kai3345 : Smells like cheese and lemons
Lionel Mandrake : Tried to ride a badger, lost a toe
mysticwhip : Killed a hooker
Veidt : Ate a part of his own buttocks
Dresden : Once got laid for urinating on a homeless man
Rafa=FedKilla : Has killed no feds, but did kill a parking attendant
EschatonDX : Once got into a vicious fistfight with a coat hanger
Dali : Not only has a penis, but it smells like lilacs too
ZeroRay : Wears a necklace with giraffe testicles on it
pmj : Best friend is an ear of corn
Woffls : Often mistakenly exchanges O's for A's
LovingSteam : Was in the room when Kobe raped that white girl
Count Dookkake : Had sex with a girl with no legs
G-Fex : Tried to have sex with an empty can of fresca
Mechanical Snowman : Parents used to make love in his bed while he slept
Cyan : Has a thing for women with no nipples
Dabookerman : Believes buttsex can get you pregnant
Medalion : Has a silver medal in curling
Threi : Really likes the color chartreuse. Like...a lot. Like...in a creepy way.
Zeke : Strangled a child with a naruto headband
crazy monkey : Eats grass
RbBrdMan : Defeated Jay Z in a rap battle
Zapages : Throws lightbulbs at pigeons
ZephyrFate : Can and does lick his own elbow
Empty : Had a passionate affair with his friend's grandmother
elrechazao : Dreams of giving adult male circumcisions for a living
whitehawk : Can kill a man with a empty box of triscuits
plasmasd : Has a goat, loves that goat like family
Hawkian : Once snorted a line of salt
Timber : Hid in a car trunk for no reason other than he liked the carpeting.
RubxQub : Dreams of learning Swahili and teaching the language in Finland.
vicissitudes : Believes his father is Joe Pesci
evil solrac v3.0 : Killed V.1 and V.2 in a threeway sex romp gone horribly wrong
Smiles and Cries : Believes every time you smile or cry, a baby gets aborted
moojito : Sold crack to school children to fund his porcelain doll collection
Mr. Sam : Has an intense distrust of hats
shuri : Plays a mean sousaphone, but only when drunk and horny
disappeared : Believes a half eaten banana murdered his best friend
PhoncipleBone : can eat a bag of sunflower seeds using just his asscheeks and big toe
mcrae : Always wears a fanny pack filled with skinless grapes
Rekwest : Prefers to cripple rather than kill
X26 : Fed his grandmother pizza when she had a heart attack
Blair : Slapped a new born for looking at him wrong
Serenade : Donated his left nipple to a good cause
fallengorn : Fighting his own private war against left handed ginger people
Rewrite : Believes 2nd drafts are for child molesters
orioto : Can only get off while wearing two pairs of socks on the right foot.
evlcookie : Knows no joy greater than pooping in a narrow vase
KevinCow : Believes Hitler created rice cakes
Calcaneus : Has the bone density of a small trout
snesfreak : Had a vision of a sideways vagina and spends his life seeking it out
cazosozey : Has never recovered from the removal of pluto as a planet
Trurl : Collects the dreams of the young, mocks the dreams of the old
Meadows : Prefers gently slopping hills
R2D4 : Girlfriend left him for an odd number, never forgave either of them
Mudkips : Killed a hooker when she wouldn't hold him while he wept
Goron2000 : Knows how magnets work, but not rainbows
Megadragon15 : Still has a lego stuck in his left nostril
xbhaskarx : Wears his sunglasses at dawn. But never at night.
Yeef : Shot a man in reno, but felt really really bad about it
harSon : Believes his penis controls the weather, may be correct.
Trent Strong : Has a $20,000 pair of lederhosen he won in a game of Parcheesi
Critical Jeff : Will kill over the quality of his canned soup
brain_stew : Has never owned a pair of shorts that didn't hug his ass in just the right way
Rickard : Got fired for putting a "no fat chicks" sign outside his obgyn office.
besada : Has no lips, and is damn proud of it
oneHeero : Is scared of wicker furniture
QuiteWhittle : Let a stripper spit in his mouth for a half jar of pickles
Kaako : Will spin into a psychotic rage at the sight of the number 8
AvidNobody : Talked Amirox into including penises on his drawings.
Jamesfrom818 : Wears a tie with every outfit. EVERY outfit.
demosthenes : Doesn't believe in midgets
Mangoverboard : Has a painting of George Takei in a pink dress that hands proudly in the den
smurfx : Walks like a man, dances like a girl
bigmit3737 : Has the skin of a new born babe, but only on his inner thighs
Skittleguy : Fed a crackhead alka seltzer expecting him to explode
bgassassin : Wears a heart on his sleeve, just not his.
Bleepey : Voiced a rarely featured fraggle named Molesty
salva : Ran a chapter of MS-13 until he decided to open a farm for abandoned ferrets.
Steelrain : Is deathly afraid of bad stitching in leather upholstery
140.85 : Met Jesus once, gave him directions to IHOP
NomarTyme : Believes tentacle rape is underrepresented in hollywood movies.
The_Technomancer : Has one black testicle and one white testicle. They aren't fond of each other.
charsace : Painted his walls an eggshell white without user a primer. The fucking heathen.
dygiT : Has never know love like the love from the letter Y, rough but tender.
Chamber : Took a crap in your flowerbox, forgot to wipe.
SoulPlaya : Believes his kitchen appliances are plotting to rape him
SolarPowered : Is helping kitchen appliances plot to rape some dude
Oozer3993 : Confuses horny with thirsty.
JSnake : Has plans to start a free range farm that will only raise one balled goats
GraveRobberX : Kicked a puppy, but it so deserved it
Snowman Prophet of Doom : Got in a fistfight with a mall santa for giving him the "stink eye"
DonMigs85 : Drives sewage trucks for a living, not for the money, but for the chicks.
Kilrogg : Had a baby with 50 cent, but isn't a millionaire.
RevoDS : Does a revolutionary mix of stand up comedy, yoga and faith healing
Jewbacca : Makes friendship bracelets from his luscious taint hair.
Tobor : Got in a knife fight with two Scandinavian children
Crunched : Was up for the role of Sookie Stackhouse
Pinko Marx : Always carries around a handful of blueberries to throw at children
Byakuya769 : Has never known the love of a beard, and is scared he isn't worthy of said love
Full Recovery : A childhood illness left him unable to taste the color blue
Jeff Albertson : Removes the letter Q from every keyboard he's ever owned.
DMeisterJ : Never learned to ride a bicycle, but can masturbate like a champion.
Jzero15 : Was heartbroken to learn boobs dont actually shoot whip cream
BertramCooper : Spent two weeks in a tee pee but has no memory of it
Salazar : Stole the heart of a young lass from East Timor, but wasn't read for love
Second : Had his balls cast in bronze
j_k_redtail : Killed a family with an army of trained foxes
MetalAlien : Firebombed an orphanage
Xal-Shoota : Caught his penis in his zipper, but girls find the scar "cute"
neoism : the King of Bhutan
ronito : Communicates solely through memos with naked women in the header
Thunder Monkey : Can't wait to upgrade from figs to plums
Gooster : Believes his penis has a USB slot, has yet to be proven wrong
WanderingWind : Believes women are weak and insignificant, and that tipping is mandatory no matter what
Andrex :masturbates to pictures of Abraham Lincoln and has no idea why

PounchEnvy : Believes rain is a terrible omen if one plans to masturbate
LabouredSubterfuge : Has three kids, none are his.
Amakusa : Doesn’t understand the number 3
speedpop : Wanted to add another o to his name but hit submit too fast
beelzebozo : Believes you can lead a horse to water, but its takes three men to drown it
Freshmaker : Opened a Romanian bar. Is not Romanian.
btkadams : Has an intense distrust of curly haired people
NinjaFridge : Doesn’t trust cordless phones
Jangaroo : Believes mulch is is for sissies
Plywood : Makes porn for the blind
Dr.Funk : Is a licensed doctor, but only in Guyana
El Sloth : Wears red to funerals
Aesius : Googled his name, fapped to what he found
-viper- : Owns a flower shop that only sells birthday cards
Xeke : believes a sticky keyboard is a sign of dedication
scorcho : Washes his grandmother’s back every other day
Jeramii : Can’t chew gum and walk at the same time, because of moral objections
Rich Uncle Skeleton : Flip cup champion three years running
Fimbulvetr : Raised in a van down by the river
OnPoint : Refuses to stop and smell the roses for fear of bees
TacticalFox88 : Collects feces samples, displays in dinning room.
zhenming : Shot a Mongolian lady for talking funny at him
Irish : Scottish
Jesus Carbomb : Believes metal alloys are the work of the devil
flintstryker : Does not appreciate your jibber jabber
Pterion : Hates jesus for being lucky enough to ride dinosaurs
ultron87 : Knows nobody named Greg, never wants to.
Memphis Reigns : Was once told to tuck his balls back in
cooljeanius : Will stop the world to dance with you, but only for the electric slide
Alucard : Fired from Olive Garden for tossing salads
Raging Spaniard : Killed three Portuguese men for stealing his crops
weekend_warrior : Strangled a small childlike man for breathing too loud
Gouty : Prefers his beer non alcoholic and his women alcoholic
Atramental : Lives his life in the nude, but in his dreams is over dressed
jakncoke : Believes China is a hoax and doesn’t really exist
Jackson50 : Refuses to call his penis anything other than “my kablamy”
OuterWorldVoice : Knows that mole on your ass is cancerous, but is never going to inform you
Assembly Required : Had a stick fight with Steve Jobs over a large chested woman.
DY_nasty : Exclusively eats Charleston Chews, in the nude.
hermit7 : Enjoys the scent of burning flesh, especially children’s
GrotesqueBeauty : Killed his family in a rage over unbreaded chicken breasts
gdt5016 : Has never met a penis that rubbed him the wrong way
Tkawsome : Has never been the county fair, for fear of farm animals
Brazil : Paraguayan
ruuk : Trains lemurs as bomb sniffers, is losing money.
Skiptastic : Beat up an elderly man in a fight over peanut butter
pirata : His initial Xbox console designs were rejected as being too “torrid”
Otrebor Nightmarecoat : Kicked out of Starship Jefferson for asking “what the fuck are we doing?”
blame space : Resents his vagina, but enjoys the late day scent
DigitalDevil : Tells girls his penis is “downloadable content”
Tarazet : Proud mother of no children
koam : Likes his women like he likes his coffee...locked in a cage and tortured
stupei : Drives a Reliant Robin on 22’s, badly.
Self Induced : Invented the little piece of plastic that you remove from the mouth of tropicana juice boxes.
somnific : Has never masturbated, but not for lack of trying
BobsRevenge : Loves no man like he loves Tim Curry in the nude
exarkun : Eats earwax, believes it will make him immortal
J@hranimo : Founded Mitsubishi Motors using hush money from Michael Jackson
Joe Prodigy : Kicked Chuck Norris in the face
Feep : Lives in his own personal hell, because it’s rent controlled
Calantus : On a celery and heroin diet
GCX : Believes date rape is only ok after the 6th date
DominoKid : Lost an arm in a terrible knitting accident
TheQueen’sOwn : Applies aloe vigorously to his groin during “playtime”
Karram : Tried to kill the cast of Jersey Shore
Nameless : Doesn’t believe in eyelids
The Take Out Bandit : Turned on by blue cheese and andy dick
Letters : Taught himself to read and kill, not in that order
industrian : Is convinced it is indeed a tumor
Lard : Doesn’t understand the context of the song ebony and ivory
Staccat0 : Got beat up for pronouncing oil without the i
Servizio : Got a divorce to obtain citizenship, doesn’t understand citizenship.
Nishastra : Remembers what it was like in the womb
Ferga : Had his act stolen by Biz Markie
Exilexc : Doesn’t love you in that way anymore
Dynamite Ringo Matsuri : Speaks fluent Hungarian, doesn’t know how or why.
DeathbyVolcano : Wore his first pair of skinny jeans in 2003, has been unable to get them off ever since.
Metalic Sand : Has a third nipple, its the only functional one
soultron : Killed two women with one stone when he misheard a popular cliche
Snuggler : Planning a revolutionary social networking site called molesterbook
subrock : Never loved and never lost but had lots of anonymous sex
Arthrus : Love gives him uncontrollable flatulence.
i_am_ben : Jerks off into a sippy cup
Combine : Lost a eye when he told his girlfriend to stop “transforming into optimos cunt”
user_nat : fears that words will drift away without a _ to anchor them together.
hateradio : Was driven out of jockey school for being too tall
Assembly Required : Slept with Martha Stewart, went bareback.
Seda : Shit his pants on a dare, still lost the dare
samus i am : wipes before pooping, swears by it.
SalsaShark : Had sex with a bowl of brown rice when it insulted his manhood
Galactic Quail : Refuses to speak words with more than two syllables.
Vard : Believes Mr.Rogers touched him in inappropriate places
Faxanadu : Has the record for most penises viewed on chatroulette
threenote : Once dumped a significant other for farting in his eye
Yasae : Ghostwrote the screenplay for Piranhas 3D, original draft had 30% more crotch shots
wmat : Poops on his own kitchen counter when agitated.
firestorm : Doesn’t love the way he used to
Net_Wrecker : Dreams of a Ducktails/Gummi bears/animal porn hybrid
cosmicblizzard : Believes animated avatars are the work of the devil
Drkirby : Trained the bear Blackace killed.
big ander : Speaks by reciting Jon Bon Jovi lyrics
Rahxephon91 : Makes up fake musical instruments to tell girls he plays
Lucius86 : Convinced “Miracle on Ice” is the name of a Scarface sequel
Arjen : filled with rage, hate, and love.
DMPrince : Got into a slapfight with Ted Danson
UFRA : Sells Snoop Dogg skin cream and moisturizer. And weed.
MidgarBlowedUp : Laughed when Aeris died
Himuro : Has no idea where to buy a duckroll, but really wants to eat one
Crakatak187 : Invented captchas, laughs about it
kpop100 : Screams “fuck yo couch” whenever he sits on any couch
Flying_Phoenix : Believes gerbils get a bad rap. They never bite his rectum.
BlueTsunami : Get’s rockhard whenever wilford brimley is on screen
Tence : Insists all bow before his cock, none do.
Nightshade1765 : This man will fuck you with a pine cone you son of a bitch
ILikeFeet : Lost his soul in a game of roshambo
AnkitT : Will never ever forgive you for what you have done to him
Kentpaul : Went to college to bang professors, professors had same idea. Tears fell.
Teh Hamburglar : Brushes his teeth with pure dick extract
ChiTownBuffalo : Gave a bag of weed and a 20 dollar bill to some dude for a pit-bull that wasn’t his
SmokyDave : Lost a pit-bull when someone traded it away for weed and a 20
RadioHeadAche : Needs a firm grip on his nutsack before he can focus on his work.
Nonoriri : Hangs out in men’s restrooms, not for the dick, for the smell.
wizword : Has never been higher than he is right now
EvaPlusMinus : Hates the person below
J Tourettes : Hates the person above
Truant : Got bark rash on his crotch, wont tell anybody how
Pkm : Kills what he eats with his bare hands
Puddles : Sold his guitar for hooker money
itsinmyveinds : Will shit in your salad, for a small fee
Socreges : Barely conscious when he faps
Zaptruder : Killed three home invaders who turned out to be Jehovahs witnesses
lightless_shade : Fucks like a porn star, but parties like a mormon
Monocle : Trains dogs to attack people wearing jean vests
Kurtofan : Urine tastes like crystal lite
Dirtyshubb : Will die at the hands of chinese bakers
Oblivion : Born the child of a preacher in the church of barney
Kite : Gets naked at the drop of a hat
Gomu Gomu : Original inspiration for the predator’s face.
Baki : Enjoys throwing glass shards into people’s eyes
Solo : Prefers his women shaken, not talking.
PetriP-TNT : Hates kittens, puppies, and soft things
J.M.Romeo : Created the Internet
friskykillface : Pees off rooftops
Enosh : Will never be the same again, but doesn’t know why
Goya : Killed Patrick Swayze during a pants off dance off
ChubbyHuggs : Hates you more than you know
Fersis : Pushing for a prolonged ground war with Chile

Holy Order Sol :Touches himself in awkward situations
LosDaddie : Plays a wicked game of strip checkers
pnjtony : Almost talked Bob Dylan into trying rap
MarkMclovin : Intensely resents those with avatars and tags
Shard : Put all his hopes and dreams into the Atari Jaguar
Funky Functionality : Axed a puppy in the face
lawblob : Argued the case dead hooker vs. neogaf. Got gaf cleared.
PhoncipleBone : He don’t love no hoes
DemiMatt : He do love those hoes
Steppenwolf : Terrified of lamp shades
Casual Gamera : Is secretly the Trojan man
Bisnic : Native American name is “poops with pride”
FLEABttn : Gets excited whenever he see’s User CP at the top of page
K.Jack : Believes “boxer-briefs” are when you wear briefs under your boxers
dude : Shaves his pubic area into cute animal shapes
Reigun : Is responsible for hamburger flavored Doritos.
aidan : Was run out of his neighborhood for wearing a silk cape
Takao : Will never ever let you hit that
Wads :Only answers to HPOA
Xun : Calls genitals warts “love bumps”
Takao : Only has your best interests in mind...promise
the walrus : Refuses to hold you after buttsex
Burli : Opened a sex slave delivery service
cowphoenix : has a thing for three legged dogs
Trip Warhawkins : Is personally offended by Flipside pretzel crackers
Desiato : Always heard the saying as “put all your balls on the table.” Has had many awkward situations.
Krelian : Believes time runs on a slight curve, similar to his penis
lunarworks : Will never forget that day, that damn damn damn day
AcridMeat : Makes love like everybody is looking
Charron :Has “slap her with a dick” tattooed on his chest
Monroeski :Puts the pussy on a pedestal, but only for it’s artistic merit


Yes I made that all up in my twisted mind, and yes I have too much time on my hands :lol .

 

[Salsa]

SalsaShark : Had sex with a bowl of brown rice when it insulted his manhood

Seems about right.

 

[VGChampion]

I'm...confused?

 

[MCX]

:lol

 

[Veidt]

Veidt : Ate a part of his own buttocks

I have never done this!

 

[Fersis]

Fersis : Pushing for a prolonged ground war with Chile

Ok because of my flag... yeah i get it... T_T

 

[Complex Shadow]

i see how it is ='[

 

[Poyunch]

PounchEnvy : Believes rain is a terrible omen if one plans to masturbate

Wait what? I love rain. No comments on the masturbating part.

 

[SoulPlaya]

I believe my kitchen appliances are planning on raping me????

Which ones? I hope it isn't the spatula!

 

[Escape Goat]

Ok because of my flag... yeah get it... T_T

i wonder whre i found dick flavored tooth paste? Oh, must be at the gay club meeting.

 

[Magnus]

I don't know nearly enough about that many gaf members. I could probably make a list ten members long. :lol

 

[Kurtofan]

Kurtofan : Urine tastes like crystal lite
Only a little.

 

[itxaka]

Im so glad that im not on your list. Sounds like something a goddamn psycho would write.

 

[hateradio]

hateradio : Was driven out of jockey school for being too tall

I am tall, but jockey school?

I would need more info on how this happened because a single sentence is not enough.

 

[Gamecocks625]

I'm not on the list. My wife and child are safe it seems.

 

[Chamber]

Chamber : Took a crap in your flowerbox, forgot to wipe.

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.

 

[JoeBoy101]

I haz a sad.

 

[El Sloth]

:lol :lol How long did it take you to write all that up?

 

[Rentahamster]

"Gooster : Believes his penis has a USB slot, has yet to be proven wrong"

I <3 this one.

 

[Expendable.]

DanielPlainview: douche.

AMIRITE?

 

[Veidt]

DanielPlainview: douche.

AMIRITE?

Who's this danielplainview? I have never heard of him.

 

[Desiato]

Desiato : Always heard the saying as “put all your balls on the table.” Has had many awkward situations.

Wait, that's not how the saying goes?

 

[NGAMER9]

Im so glad that im not on your list. Sounds like something a goddamn psycho would write.

I feel the same. :lol

 

[ZephyrFate]

I'm glad I'm well known enough to be in this topic.

 

[alr1ght]

ooh DanielPlainview STALLONE'D.

 

[Expendable.]

Who's this danielplainview? I have never heard of him.

He has passed. There is a new man to take his place. That man is Stallown3d.

 

[siddx]

Im so glad that im not on your list. Sounds like something a goddamn psycho would write.

I preferred the term mentally disturbed

 

[hermit7]

hermit7 : Enjoys the scent of burning flesh, especially children’s

Who doesn't love the aroma of a finely cooked steak? Lamb and veal especially.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

LovingSteam : Was in the room when Kobe raped that white girl

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Drkirby]

Drkirby : Trained the bear Blackace killed.

What?

 

[J. M. Romeo]

J.M.Romeo : Created the Internet

And I made it out of love, sugar, rainbows, spice and everything nice.

 

[Zapages]

Zapages : Throws lightbulbs at pigeons

I have never done that... Confused.

 

[Kabouter]

Man, you really put some time into this.

 

[exarkun]

exarkun : Eats earwax, believes it will make him immortal

I do sniff my earwax, but that still not eating it...though I do think I will live a long, hip life.

:lol :lol at Expendable talking about DP. Didn't DP get DP'd by Bish? Poor DP.

 

[Funky Functionality]

Funky Functionality : Axed a puppy in the face

While spitting dope rhymes, might I add.

 

[lightless_shado]

lightless_shade : Fucks like a porn star, but parties like a mormon

:lol

edit: found it

 

[Barbacoatl]

Im so glad that im not on your list. Sounds like something a goddamn psycho would write.

Boo this man!

Great job with these missbreed, so many so good! Loved mine, describes the futility of my existence :lol

 

[X26]

it was her last request

 

[ZephyrFate]

I have never done that... Confused.

With all the stupid threads you make, I bet you've done that.

 

[siddx]

:lol :lol How long did it take you to write all that up?

About 6 hours over two days :lol I had a 3 hour class that is teaching me nothing new so I had to do something to entertain myself. And then I had to finish it outside of class because i'm obsessive like that.

And as I said, anybody not on the list just didn't post in the thread. I was going to do other people, but with several thousand members, it would never end!

 

[Osuwari]

that sounds like a list of potential tags Mods use when they tag someone.

 

[Razorskin]

ctrl+f Razorskin
phrase not found


:|

 

[FLEABttn]

FLEABttn : Gets excited whenever he see’s User CP at the top of page

You have no idea.

 

[Kagari]

OP has too much time on their hands.

 

[ConfusingJazz]

Ignored and thought of little by missbreedsiddx. Oh you will rue this day, good sir, you will rue. this. day.

 

[Rewrite]

Six hours? That's dedication!

 

[alr1ght]

alr1ghtstart, garrickk, TheAzRim, AndyMoogle, mello, V_Arnold, jaundicejuice, effingvic, Bob White, RyanCE, Won, xaosslug, zoku88, blizzardjesus, Szu, Obsessed, Facism, Havik, akuma001, Vanish, Gowans007, Vigilant Walrus, myyah998, Syph, jay6784, Lirlond, Haggins, ProtomanNeo, Allard, RpgN, Kyosuke, smarties00, rataven, Mgoblue201, Lemonz, Mama Robotnik, Daefen, Bootaaay, brollyman2k, shibbs, jergrah, RPS37, satriales, Mission, Cimarron, Sullen, SalsaShark, Dash, Armory, werewolf2000ad, scoobs, Smilebit, Oregano, silentspork, nzapster, Marven, Nabs, hie, Funky Functionality, rasberryjam, LurkerJZ3, Yeef, misterchef, Greg, pxleyes, fizzelopeguss, kutthoat5150, Manty, FabCam, oesterle4, El_Victor, Cromulent_Word, thomaser, Mistouze, Almonds for the Pore, Incitemaybe, TheClimaxan, Armada, CajoleJuice, Cosmozone, Bananimus, Pie and Beans, X26, bionic77, Charles, Bleepey, Carlbeego, sarcoa, Chozo, n8BitMan, darkblade77, TurtleSnatcher, Skittles, modeps, Arol, Spooka, miladesn, patsu, 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GET TO IT!!

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

OP... that's impressive:O

Simply having such a vast knowledge of the forumers. I find that both to be informative, and powerful, as information is power. Maybe that's what the Kanye West song is really about? Him going to a library for the first time!

 

[layzie1989]

damnit, wish i had posted there :lol

 

[Funky Functionality]

OP has too much time on their his hands.

Time is money, baby. Dude is mad rich.