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Gay Honor student cant wear tux to prom. "Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxes"

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MickeyPhree

Member
Why are they playing up that she is an honor student? That has no basis on this story.

Anyways, if there is an actual written rule then she should shut the fuck up.

If there is not, let her wear what she wants.
 

Siegcram

Member
First of all it says "as far as she knows", second it could very well be that the school established the rule in a more explicit way because it had to be spelled out for that one student while all others saw it as a matter of course.
If that were the case we'd just loop around to the fact that said rule is discriminatory bullshit that has no place in modern society, regardless of your hard-on for rules.
 

Moosichu

Member
Well the justification has already been laid out by plenty of others. Continuation of a tradition, projecting an image, homogeneity etc. Now you can disagree that these are valid arguments (they are valid enough for me) but that doesn't change my original argument though, does it? I will ask again: what makes her so special that the rule has to be changed for her? Why shouldn't she have to follow the rules? Can we always pick and chose? Nothing convincing has been forthcoming other than "it's 2015!" and gender this and gender that which I don't have an issue with frankly.

Why enforce these rules just for her. Why make it so that one person can't enjoy the prom the way they want to? What makes her so special that a rule has to be made to stop her from wearing what will Make her happy?

Unless your suggesting there are other girls who would silently rather wear tuxes but suck it up and wear dresses but aren't complaining. But isn't that just even more of an argument for the school to ditch the stupid rule in the first place?
 

AudioNoir

Banned
Except there is a difference between "tradition" and "rules"

Just a quick wikipedia quote for you there.

You seem under the assumption that the tradition is a rule and that by going against tradition she is breaking said rules, and you are wrong.

She isn't trying to break any rules, she's challenging an outdated way of thinking (a tradition)

Nah, he's sticking to the dress code implemented by the school as the rule that needs to be abided by no matter how it discriminates or smashes gender roles into peoples' faces.

You know, that rule that no one seemed to know about til they found out some darn female was gonna pants it to the prom. A-hyuk!
 

theJohann

Member
It is absolutely sufficient criticism. Can you explain why it is not?

I believe that this depends on your moral philosophy; as more of a consequentialist, I see no reason why arbitrariness is a negative attribute rather than a neutral one. It is something that I can ascribe to much social activity that has been, on balance, beneficial. Is their lack of rational compliance reason enough to cease their being practised? My answer is no, because there is no cosmic force that compels me to be consistently rational.

I am not rejecting rationality, I am arguing that it is a fundamental methodological tool that has contextual uses.
 
While I understand why she might want to wear a tux, there's a dress code.

Dress codes can make someone not enter a restaurant, or attend a certain party. That's what right of admission is for.

Rather than sexist or homophobic dress codes are more of a classist thing. What is there to stop one male from saying he doesn't want a tux because he feels uncomfortable with it(as far as I know, this is a gay person, not a transgender person being denied their new gender... so I don't quite see why she gets to choose the dress code).
 
We keep talking past each other. You keep asking why the tradition can't be changed. I don't know why it couldn't be changed, it can absolutely be changed. I'm not saying that the dress code is something better or correct simply because it is older, traditional, or “always has been done.”

I'm simply saying that we can't pick and chose the rules we have to follow nor can this student. Nothings make her so special that she doesn't have to follow the established rule and make up her own. I have to turn up at work dressed up although no customer ever sees me. I could sit there in T-shirt and jeans. This rules makes absolutely no sense but I don't have a choice, I have to follow it. The dress code doesn't have any justification either other than tradition but that doesn't strike me as reason enough not to follow the rule and make up their own.

Actually you do have a choice. You can do something different. If it means something to you to change a rule or tradition, you can decide not to follow it. There's no reason to wait for some faceless decider to choose one day that the rule can now be changed. If you want it changed, you can protest it. The person with a leg to stand on will come out on top and as it stands now, the school has no leg to stand on beyond a vague 'just because'.
 
It's a Fucking prom for goodness sakes. How are people really defending this with tradition nonsense arguments. Not one person has given one good reason as to who it would hurt if she didn't wear a dress.
 

Bubba T

Member
What is so ridiculous about what I said? It's a perfect example of how irrelevant being an honor student is to this whole thread.

There isn't anything ridiculous about your statement. In fact, I agree with you. The article is poorly written armed with a title purely to grab as much page views as possible.
 

Siegcram

Member
While I understand why she might want to wear a tux, there's a dress code.

Dress codes can make someone not enter a restaurant, or attend a certain party. That's what right of admission is for.

Rather than sexist or homophobic dress codes are more of a classist thing. What is there to stop one male from saying he doesn't want a tux because he feels uncomfortable with it(as far as I know, this is a gay person, not a transgender person being denied their new gender... so I don't quite see why she gets to choose the dress code).
As laid out ad nauseam, she is still complying to the formal dress code by wearing a tux.

Whether or not the gender specific requirements were part of said dress code is uncertain as of now. What is certain is that it's discriminatory.

Equally so if it were to prohibit a male student from wearing a dress.
 

AudioNoir

Banned
While I understand why she might want to wear a tux, there's a dress code.

Dress codes can make someone not enter a restaurant, or attend a certain party. That's what right of admission is for.

Rather than sexist or homophobic dress codes are more of a classist thing. What is there to stop one male from saying he doesn't want a tux because he feels uncomfortable with it(as far as I know, this is a gay person, not a transgender person being denied their new gender... so I don't quite see why she gets to choose the dress code).

She's not choosing the dress code. The tuxedo is one of two code options.

The school is choosing to enforce a potentially nonexistent "rule" that goes beyond formal wear for a formal event-- this is a matter of little girls wear dresses and little boys wear pants. I'm frankly surprised they're not also making the girls wear pink and the boys wear blue.
 
It's a Fucking prom for goodness sakes. How are people really defending this with tradition nonsense arguments. Not one person has given one good reason as to who it would hurt if she didn't wear a dress.

Hurt? probably no one. But if you're rewarding a honor student with choice over the rules, that's classism. Everyone else has to abide the rules, or can they too decide to wear whatever they want? Just a curious question.

I'm all for questioning impositions but where do you draw the line of what can be done and what can't be done? What if a male doesn't want to wear a tuxedo but a more casual shirt and jeans, if they totally feel uncomfortable with a tuxedo?

She's not choosing the dress code. The tuxedo is one of two code options.

The school is choosing to enforce a potentially nonexistent "rule" that goes beyond formal wear for a formal event-- this is a matter of little girls wear dresses and little boys wear pants. I'm frankly surprised they're not also making the girls wear pink and the boys wear blue.

But there's no two code, there's one code per gender. If they denied a transgender person this right it would be something to make a fuss about because they'd be denying their identity.
 
ok @ yall pretending this isn't blatantly homophobic while ignoring the fact that masculine lesbians (and feminine gay men) often bear the heaviest cross when it comes to being discriminated against. the image of a lesbian getting married in a tux, for example, is something that makes certain heterosexuals very angry and this case is just an extension of that

"But rules are rules" ok @ this reductive train of thought. u r SO radical for upholding needless status quos in such a PC SJW SARKEESIAN age, continue doing the lords work yall 🙏🙏🙏🙏
 

Moosichu

Member
Hurt? probably no one. But if you're rewarding a honor student with choice over the rules, that's classism. Everyone else has to abide the rules, or can they too decide to wear whatever they want? Just a curious question.

I'm all for questioning impositions but where do you draw the line of what can be done and what can't be done? What if a male doesn't want to wear a tuxedo but a more casual shirt and jeans, if they totally feel uncomfortable with a tuxedo?

A shirt and jeans isn't in the dress code. A tuxedo is. Maybe just abolish this rule altogether. Let boys where dresses and girls wear tuxedos. This girl isn't asking for a special case over anyone else. I doubt she would complain if everyone was allowed to wear tuxes.
 
Hurt? probably no one. But if you're rewarding a honor student with choice over the rules, that's classism. Everyone else has to abide the rules, or can they too decide to wear whatever they want? Just a curious question.

I'm all for questioning impositions but where do you draw the line of what can be done and what can't be done? What if a male doesn't want to wear a tuxedo but a more casual shirt and jeans, if they totally feel uncomfortable with a tuxedo?

As has been pointed out earlier you better believe that not all the kids are going to up in Tuxedos. Regardless I draw the line at formal wear if students are forced to wear something.
 

AudioNoir

Banned
Hurt? probably no one. But if you're rewarding a honor student with choice over the rules, that's classism. Everyone else has to abide the rules, or can they too decide to wear whatever they want? Just a curious question.

I'm all for questioning impositions but where do you draw the line of what can be done and what can't be done? What if a male doesn't want to wear a tuxedo but a more casual shirt and jeans, if they totally feel uncomfortable with a tuxedo?

This is the whole point. She's not asking to wear whatever she wants. She's asking to wear one of the two formal options outlined in the code.

Formal wear to a formal event is not a remotely harmful request. Not in the slightest. The shit part of the deal is that they're basing the rule on antiquated notions that women wear dresses and men wear pants.
 
There isn't anything ridiculous about your statement. In fact, I agree with you. The article is poorly written armed with a title purely to grab as much page views as possible.

Ah sorry for sounding defensive, but you are right about it trying to milk views. I'm just surprised a mod hasn't changed it.
 

Beth Cyra

Member
This is terrible. That young woman should be able to desks however she pleases.

Then again my thought process is a lot different because as a Trans person I this kinda stuff goes I to weird territory. Some women love slacks and they can be completely straight, a just as some gay women love to dress hyper feminine.

The rules that some.of our culture try to enforce for Girls/women is so Ass backwards sometimes (this does happen to males.as.well) and it's sad.to see such a young and hard working person suffer because of it.
 

AudioNoir

Banned
But there's no two code, there's one code per gender. If they denied a transgender person this right it would be something to make a fuss about because they'd be denying their identity.

A woman's identity isn't defined by a dress, is the thing. Nor is a man's defined by a suit.
 
Because "it's 2015"

Just like how it was "2014", "2013", "2006", "2000", "1993", "1985" etc etc

Why do people have a problem with statements like that? Why does it bother you so much?
We should be past this kind of thing as a society, and if you don't encounter many injustices like this in your daily life and see a story like this it just doesn't make sense. I don't see how that's hard to understand.
 
Wait, are we seriously arguing over the fact that she is an honor student and shouldn't be given special privilege? Wtf? Its not about privilege. It's about being human. It's about treating people with respect. If she wants to wear a tuxedo then she should be allowed to wear it. It does not break the formal code, just sexist's tradition of men and women gender stereotypes.

Look, it's obvious that the article said she was an honor student, because, media and the audience typically don't care about minorities unless they are perfect angels, even then some still don't care. If the title of this topic bothers you then ask a mod to change it.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Why do people have a problem with statements like that? Why does it bother you so much?
We should be past this kind of thing as a society, and if you don't encounter many injustices like this in your daily life and see a story like this it just doesn't make sense. I don't see how that's hard to understand.

It's the equivalent of plugging your ears and going "lalalalala". The year it is has no bearing on anything, and saying "we should" is a lot different than "we are"
 

Dr. Buni

Member
Some people are so obnoxious. Let the girl wear a damn tux, what is the problem? M-muh rules.
While I understand why she might want to wear a tux, there's a dress code.

Dress codes can make someone not enter a restaurant, or attend a certain party. That's what right of admission is for.

Rather than sexist or homophobic dress codes are more of a classist thing. What is there to stop one male from saying he doesn't want a tux because he feels uncomfortable with it(as far as I know, this is a gay person, not a transgender person being denied their new gender... so I don't quite see why she gets to choose the dress code).
Dress code is absolutely bullshit.
 

Tagyhag

Member
So stupid. I understand having a dress code. But a dress code based on your gender is something which should have been left in the 50's.

She would even look better in a tux than some of the ridiculous dresses you see in modern proms.
 

AudioNoir

Banned
it's obvious that the article said she was an honor student, because, media and the audience typically don't care about minorities unless they are perfect angels, even then some still don't care. If the title of this topic bothers you then ask a mod to change it.

That and the school was apparently failing miserably on the academic scale, and her grades boosted them up out of joke status.
 

Sheroking

Member
The "it's the dress code" people miss the point.

The current dress-code is hetero-normative nonsense. It'd be completely intact if they made the minor amendment saying students can come wearing "either a tux or a dress". If a boy gets to wear a suit, why should a girl not get to? That makes no sense. It's not like she's trying to get special privileges and walk in with an AC/DC t-shirt and acidwash jeans.
 

Kinvara

Member
"Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxs."

So if a non-binary or intersex student wanted to go to prom, what would they wear?

It's perfectly acceptable for girls to wear pants every day. Wearing a tux shouldn't be that big of a deal. It's still formal attire which is perfectly acceptable for this event.
 

Pepiope

Member
The "it's the dress code" people miss the point.

The current dress-code is hetero-normative nonsense. It'd be completely intact if they made the minor amendment saying students can come wearing "either a tux or a dress". If a boy gets to wear a suit, why should a girl not get to? That makes no sense. It's not like she's trying to get special privileges and walk in with an AC/DC t-shirt and acidwash jeans.
This is exactly it. A tux is certainly okay at the prom, but just not for a girl.

If the school wants a dress code, then it should apply to all students, whether that student is male or female should not matter.
 

Pepiope

Member
She should boycott the prom.


Love hadn't intended to take a date to the prom but wanted to attend with a group of friends who have also now chosen not to attend because of the no-tux rule. She says a petition by members of the senior class to change the rule wasn't acted on by faculty.

It's in the OP.
 
The title of this is misleading and makes it sound like a gay guy is being told he can't wear a tux because 'gay men aren't real men' or something
 

Kuroyume

Banned
The "it's the dress code" people miss the point.

The current dress-code is hetero-normative nonsense. It'd be completely intact if they made the minor amendment saying students can come wearing "either a tux or a dress". If a boy gets to wear a suit, why should a girl not get to? That makes no sense. It's not like she's trying to get special privileges and walk in with an AC/DC t-shirt and acidwash jeans.

Right... That's the point of a dress code.
 

Raistlin

Post Count: 9999
Why do people have a problem with statements like that? Why does it bother you so much?
We should be past this kind of thing as a society, and if you don't encounter many injustices like this in your daily life and see a story like this it just doesn't make sense. I don't see how that's hard to understand.
Out of sight, out of mind then?
 
It's the equivalent of plugging your ears and going "lalalalala". The year it is has no bearing on anything, and saying "we should" is a lot different than "we are"

Thats not it at all. The phrase is meant to highlight the progress we have made. There have been more than one transgender prom queen king/queen. Gays go to proms with their SO. Women wear suits without losing anything. Cases like these are clearly the exception.
 
That's not my argument though, my argument is that we don't always get to do things our way, that's not how society works. Sometimes there are rules that we have to follow and the rule here is a dresscode that mandates a dress for women and tux for men based on traditions. What makes her so special that she doesn't have to follow this rule? Can we just pick and chose which rules we want to follow?

The question here is not whether the tradition is worth protecting, the question is why the tradition should change due to the discomfort of a single person. Put those two things on a scale and tradition weighs more heavy for me. Do you have any other argument besides her happiness, because that's not very convincing either.

I'm not sure why you think tradition trumps all. I mean it is a fine opinion, but do you actually think it is convincing?
 

AudioNoir

Banned
No, the point of a dress code is to ensure a certain standard of attire across the board, not gender stereotype. See: every red carpet.

That precisely.

Kinda makes me wonder how poorer kids fare with this sort of thing :/ My school did what they could to help them rent.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Thats not it at all. The phrase is meant to highlight the progress we have made. There have been more than one transgender prom queen king/queen. Gays go to proms with their SO. Women wear suits without losing anything. Cases like these are clearly the exception.

Sounds like confirmation bias to me...
 
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