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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?
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y2dvd said:
I'd reckon he employed some combination of fruits and berries to lure her in.
EDIT: I can't reply to every individual post in this thread but honestly the advice is the same in almost every single instance and situation - stop doubting yourself and be assertive. Some of you need to build up your social skills and need to go through a period of rejection so you don't get too excited and think that a girl likes you just because she talks to you or touches you, etc, but on the whole, girls are not that complicated. They really aren't. Most girls are insecure about themselves; most girls want to have sex. You all just need some confidence so you can silence that nagging thought in the back of your mind that you are not good enough for anyone.
Johnlenham
Member
esquire said:
Excuse my rubbish paint skills :lol
How sad.
I was going to go to the pub with my friend, but found out whilst waiting for the bus that he couldn't go.
I went to the pub anyway, but left pretty much immediately since I knew no one. I should've stayed to talk to some women, but it just felt strange being there. I also didn't want to be the creepy loner guy.
I didn't even get a drink.
I was going to go to the pub with my friend, but found out whilst waiting for the bus that he couldn't go.
I went to the pub anyway, but left pretty much immediately since I knew no one. I should've stayed to talk to some women, but it just felt strange being there. I also didn't want to be the creepy loner guy.
I didn't even get a drink.
Mr. Spinnington
Banned
we still love youXun said:How sad.
I was going to go to the pub with my friend, but found out whilst waiting for the bus that he couldn't go.
I went to the pub anyway, but left pretty much immediately since I knew no one. I should've stayed to talk to some women, but it just felt strange being there. I also didn't want to be the creepy loner guy.
I didn't even get a drink.
This this this this. Honestly, I'm not too experienced as far as girl-age goes, but I know now that being direct can work out great. Don't beat around the bush. With my now GF, I just mentioned that I want her to be my girlfriend (at an appropriate time), and it worked perfectly. A lot of the advice in this thread can boil down to: Be confident, direct and don't worry about the "what ifs" (what if she rejects).esquire said:
It's worth it in the end
chicko1983
Member
PEZIX said:Ight boys the games up... 2nd gf of the year just went legit tonight.
No more pick up line stories sorry bros.. for now
I wonder how long this one will last?:lol
NOOOOOOooooooo!!!
you still better post your advice in this thread
practice02
Banned
Drawings. just communicate everything in crude drawings. for example this one.AFreak said:
"Would you like to go to a rock n' roll concert?"
AFreak said:
If I remember correctly, you're in China, and you're not in major city China (Shanghai or Beijing.) Just go out and smile and attempt to chat them up in English. It can't hurt.
Believe me, they'll try their hardest to communicate with you if they want to talk.
Or you can open with a "Ni hao" and see what happens.
Beer Monkey
Member
Half a year ago my wife of over 13 years left me (with no objection from me, we should have split long ago). I'm overweight, have a bad complexion (rosacea), questionable bone structure and thinning hair of an unattractive shade of grey.
Within a month I was getting laid by a totally decent chick that I met online, but honestly my social skills were seriously lacking. I was still completely intimidated by the women that I find extremely attractive and interesting.
Last night I hit a party that was a total bust with not a single attractive woman but I made a new friend who may end up being the ultimate wingman. Hit an afterparty later and danced with two cool chicks. I should have pursued the blonde later but she was totally into some dude that was talking to her and I was feeling pretty buzzed and didn't feel like putting the effort into it. The brunette followed me outside and was totally into me, I worked her with this new carny routine that I'm working on (hey, pretend you are the person who has to guess people's weight and age, now guess me and all my friends). She was so enthused to be talking to me, and eventually the guilt kicked in and she said that her husband (poor chump) was inside and had been watching us dance and hang out. I told her that she should go get him and hang out with me and my friends at the bar across the street, and then split.
At bar #1, I encountered Veronica, whose best friend Midge wasn't out tonight because I broke Midge's heart three days ago (letting things get semi-serious with somebody that I can't get totally worked up over was a HUGE mistake, because Veronica and Midge know EVERYBODY, including many stunning, interesting women, in the hipster/bohemian neighborhood that I love so much). Veronica was there with Betty, who I met the week before and who knows that I hurt Midge. Betty is amazing and drop-dead gorgeous, but I probably wouldn't have met her for months if I hadn't dated her friend. I'd love to date Betty at some point, but it's got to be six+ months in the future because of the awkward situation; I sure as hell can't date two friends back-to-back in such a close-knit community without destroying my reputation, especially after I really hurt Midge. So I view Betty as a long-term, low-odds project, but I knew I should try to keep contact. I saw her alone and looking awkward a bit later and signaled her to come to me. We had an amazingly good conversation even though I know that there's no way she would go out with me right now and offend her friends. I could feel her resistance but she couldn't help but talk to me. So I'm still building something for the possible future even if it is unlikely and difficult.
At bar #2, I was pretty sloshed but approached an obvious couple after a bit, the girl was totally geek chic and the dude was nice. Within five minutes they were both hanging on my every word. It was just an exercise in social interaction but it went beautifully. Grabbed my last drink at the bar and was oozing with obvious confidence, got hit on by a cute girl at the bar and blew her off because I was in a bad, bad state (note: don't drink SO much when out).
Didn't get a phone number the whole night. Didn't make a date. Technically I'm not dating anyone right now but the night was fucking great, and I don't care that I'm solo for now. I think I've got a new wingman and potentially great friend, and everybody that I interacted with the entire night thought I was postively great and wanted to know me better.
Went to return some clothing today at a department store. The (smoking hot twenty year old) girl at the counter was intially cold and disinterested but by the time I left her eyes were bright and glistening and she was smiling and bubbly. I totally charmed her, but I wouldn't go out with somebody young enough to be my kid even if she begged me.
I've leveled up. I can see the matrix. Nobody I meet can intimidate me.
Within a month I was getting laid by a totally decent chick that I met online, but honestly my social skills were seriously lacking. I was still completely intimidated by the women that I find extremely attractive and interesting.
Last night I hit a party that was a total bust with not a single attractive woman but I made a new friend who may end up being the ultimate wingman. Hit an afterparty later and danced with two cool chicks. I should have pursued the blonde later but she was totally into some dude that was talking to her and I was feeling pretty buzzed and didn't feel like putting the effort into it. The brunette followed me outside and was totally into me, I worked her with this new carny routine that I'm working on (hey, pretend you are the person who has to guess people's weight and age, now guess me and all my friends). She was so enthused to be talking to me, and eventually the guilt kicked in and she said that her husband (poor chump) was inside and had been watching us dance and hang out. I told her that she should go get him and hang out with me and my friends at the bar across the street, and then split.
At bar #1, I encountered Veronica, whose best friend Midge wasn't out tonight because I broke Midge's heart three days ago (letting things get semi-serious with somebody that I can't get totally worked up over was a HUGE mistake, because Veronica and Midge know EVERYBODY, including many stunning, interesting women, in the hipster/bohemian neighborhood that I love so much). Veronica was there with Betty, who I met the week before and who knows that I hurt Midge. Betty is amazing and drop-dead gorgeous, but I probably wouldn't have met her for months if I hadn't dated her friend. I'd love to date Betty at some point, but it's got to be six+ months in the future because of the awkward situation; I sure as hell can't date two friends back-to-back in such a close-knit community without destroying my reputation, especially after I really hurt Midge. So I view Betty as a long-term, low-odds project, but I knew I should try to keep contact. I saw her alone and looking awkward a bit later and signaled her to come to me. We had an amazingly good conversation even though I know that there's no way she would go out with me right now and offend her friends. I could feel her resistance but she couldn't help but talk to me. So I'm still building something for the possible future even if it is unlikely and difficult.
At bar #2, I was pretty sloshed but approached an obvious couple after a bit, the girl was totally geek chic and the dude was nice. Within five minutes they were both hanging on my every word. It was just an exercise in social interaction but it went beautifully. Grabbed my last drink at the bar and was oozing with obvious confidence, got hit on by a cute girl at the bar and blew her off because I was in a bad, bad state (note: don't drink SO much when out).
Didn't get a phone number the whole night. Didn't make a date. Technically I'm not dating anyone right now but the night was fucking great, and I don't care that I'm solo for now. I think I've got a new wingman and potentially great friend, and everybody that I interacted with the entire night thought I was postively great and wanted to know me better.
Went to return some clothing today at a department store. The (smoking hot twenty year old) girl at the counter was intially cold and disinterested but by the time I left her eyes were bright and glistening and she was smiling and bubbly. I totally charmed her, but I wouldn't go out with somebody young enough to be my kid even if she begged me.
I've leveled up. I can see the matrix. Nobody I meet can intimidate me.
Beer Monkey
Member
Er, intimidate.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Sometimes a necktie is just a necktie.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Sometimes a necktie is just a necktie.
off topic, but that reminds me of a foreign girl at work who's not too good at English (not too bright either), and on a potluck lunch day a while ago she brought some crab rangoons. We asked her if it has real crab in it and she said, "Uh....no, I think it has intimate crabs in it". We hope she just didn't know how to pronounce "imitation".
anyway, carry on...
anyway, carry on...
Need some advice here.
How do I stop my girlfriend from hanging out with her ex-boyfriend without coming across like a jealous, insecure prick?
Here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a month; just barely official and I'm still hesitant to even introduce her as my girlfriend. Her ex-boyfriend from years ago is coming into town this coming weekend and he wants to see her. They're still friends but my man-bullshit-detector is telling me something's up and I know this guy wants more than just to talk to her (he keeps calling her even though she's not responding). She told me what was going on. She's apprehensive about it and she doesn't have feelings for him but they're still friends. Where do I fit into all of this? I want to tell her no or to invite myself out with her but I'm not sure if that will come across as psycho jealousy and that I don't trust her, or me showing that I care about her by not wanting her to be in that situation. As I said before, we are barely official so I'm not sure if I'm a position to tell her who she can and can't be friends with. Having said that, I'm still friends with my exes. I would still want to hang out with them if they came into town despite me not having any feelings for them. That adds the additional wrinkle of looking like a hypocrite if I say something about it to my girl. I trust her but I'm not sure I can trust her as much if she's going to be drinking with this guy. I'm not sure if saying something is too aggressive or not saying anything is too passive. I know it's a shitty way to feel but that's why I'm asking for advice.
How do I stop my girlfriend from hanging out with her ex-boyfriend without coming across like a jealous, insecure prick?
Here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a month; just barely official and I'm still hesitant to even introduce her as my girlfriend. Her ex-boyfriend from years ago is coming into town this coming weekend and he wants to see her. They're still friends but my man-bullshit-detector is telling me something's up and I know this guy wants more than just to talk to her (he keeps calling her even though she's not responding). She told me what was going on. She's apprehensive about it and she doesn't have feelings for him but they're still friends. Where do I fit into all of this? I want to tell her no or to invite myself out with her but I'm not sure if that will come across as psycho jealousy and that I don't trust her, or me showing that I care about her by not wanting her to be in that situation. As I said before, we are barely official so I'm not sure if I'm a position to tell her who she can and can't be friends with. Having said that, I'm still friends with my exes. I would still want to hang out with them if they came into town despite me not having any feelings for them. That adds the additional wrinkle of looking like a hypocrite if I say something about it to my girl. I trust her but I'm not sure I can trust her as much if she's going to be drinking with this guy. I'm not sure if saying something is too aggressive or not saying anything is too passive. I know it's a shitty way to feel but that's why I'm asking for advice.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It's just been a month. If you're already going to be insecure about trust issues and cheating, just drop out.
Being there in person to potentially stop assumed cheating is the stupidest shit I've ever heard, and it's unfortunately a very common insane reaction. If you feel like you have to actually be there to stop it, why the fuck are you bothering?
Being there in person to potentially stop assumed cheating is the stupidest shit I've ever heard, and it's unfortunately a very common insane reaction. If you feel like you have to actually be there to stop it, why the fuck are you bothering?
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
Once they get into a new relationship, it's supposed to be over between them, period. No friend bullshit. It's difficult enough for a guy and a girl to be "just" friends, let alone with an ex.
BladeWorker
Member
esquire said:
I don't think each of those things - that she's apprehensive, doesn't have feelings for him, but they're still friends - can logically exist without drama resulting. Something smells.
If she's apprehensive, she shouldn't go alone (that doesn't mean she goes with you, necessarily, she can take a friend too). But that's not something you can tell her, you have to trust that she'll do what's right whenever she's presented with a troublesome situation. If you can't, bail out now, because you're not ready to be a boyfriend if you can't trust her. And, if she doesn't do right by your relationship (however young it is) then she's not ready to be your girlfriend. Sucks, but it's really that simple.
You will never be in a position to tell someone else who they can and can't be friends with. Let's be clear about that.
If you are uncomfortable with her having male friends, or she uncomfortable with you having female friends, then you need to have a conversation about that now, and set some boundaries that both of you can accept. There's the "ex" reality that you're just going to have to get over - as you say, you're still friends with some of your own - but it's not unreasonable to get nervous about someone putting your relationship in jeopardy. You're only nuts if you don't calm down, have a chat about what you expect of one another, and don't trust one another to act right.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Okay, I'm gonna give this thread an honest shot. Where do I start looking to meet women? I work a 9-5, don't go out, don't have friends, am very shy and don't meet women in my day-to-day. Go.
Edit: I don't know how to talk to women either, so where do I start should I actually manage to meet a girl?
Edit: I don't know how to talk to women either, so where do I start should I actually manage to meet a girl?
DualShadow
Member
grap3fruitman said:
Given it sounds like u only leave your house to go to work (unless u work from home?) then i'd guess maybe try online dating or something?
Never tried it personally but had some friends pick up some girls from it.
Ether_Snake said:
That never happens. Not every break up is a bad break up, and even so, I don't know many people who are completely free of all their exes.
BladeWorker said:
She might not even end up going at all. I'm not normally paranoid about these types of things, but it was the things she told me he asked her which made me want to knock this guys teeth out. I know she chose me. The question is, does he know that?
Yo GAF there is this cute and cool girl I know. She broke up with her friend a couple of weeks ago but they still live together...as friends. So a couple of days ago I was out with my friends, her and her friend. We were walking on the street and I and her got separated from the group. Then I recognized that she had a pretty cool DSLR and we were talking a bit about photography. She suddenly said that we maybe could meet somewhere another day to have a coffee and if I could show her how to take proper pictures in a near park. I was surprised and said something like yeah sure just call me if you have time. We met with the group again and while saying goodbye to eachother she said that she would call me regarding what we spoke about - no fixed date though.
I have mixed feelings about this since she just recently broke up with her bf and I don´t wanna end up as a doormat by listening to ex bf drama again...yeah I can definitely see that coming when I show up...but who knows. On the other hand I don´t wanna disappoint her as a friend by not showing up/telling her that I have no time and so on...so what would you do GAF?
I have mixed feelings about this since she just recently broke up with her bf and I don´t wanna end up as a doormat by listening to ex bf drama again...yeah I can definitely see that coming when I show up...but who knows. On the other hand I don´t wanna disappoint her as a friend by not showing up/telling her that I have no time and so on...so what would you do GAF?
Beer Monkey
Member
grap3fruitman said:
Start by meeting guys and making friends. It will get you more comfortable talking to people and then when you do want to go out and meet girls it is WAY easier if you have friends with you. Try meetup.com and find some people with common interests in your area.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Nah, I don't really wanna meet guys. I don't get along with them. I've got issues with male relationships due to stuff I'd rather not talk about.beermonkey@tehbias said:
Correct.DualShadow said:
grap3fruitman said:
If I were in your shoes, I'd get a social hobby (i.e. one that involved leaving the house regularly and interacting with people) and work on building up my social skills. Work on making friends first. Girls will come later.
grap3fruitman said:
:\
Online dating; probably a site like eHarmony. It's going to be hard for you, but that's one of your only options if you have those conditions.
Max@GC said:
Don't over think it. Just hang out with her and see where it goes.
Poimandres
Member
Max@GC said:
The answer is clear. Meet up with her, and try to keep the ex boyfriend drama to a minimum. If she gets onto that topic, oblige her for a little while before changing the subject.
TurboLibre
Member
grap3fruitman said:
If you can't establish a friendship how do you think you're going to maintain a relationship? You're trying to jump from 1-10 in one go, and that's usually a bad move.
Escape Goat
Member
How can you be lovers if you can't be friends lol
TurboLibre
Member
Teh Hamburglar said:
I was speaking more generally. If he's unable to make guy friends, trying to get a girlfriend may be out of his league.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Nope, not one. I don't see what's so difficult to comprehend. You know the loser in high school every knows but doesn't want to be friends with? Yeah, that was me but I didn't know it at the time.whitehawk said:
To be honest the only reason I'm that high a level is because I've got two brothers that play and they're way better than me. This is actually my first time really playing an FPS and I didn't get into it until we were already like 8th prestige or something. Which is probably why it took us so long to get to tenth, because I started taking up play time.whitehawk said:
I don't think that and that's probably a major factor in why I haven't. I don't really have a choice though, now do I? I can't go back and redo years 12-22 of my life and learn all the stuff I missed that's natural to everyone at this point.Tkawsome said:
I sort of want to say that I too have no friends either. But then again, part of me still is confused about what a "friend" really is. There are probably some people I know online who'd insist that they count as such. And in terms of real life I certainly have met many "Acquaintances". But, well, now I suppose I'm trying to figure that out. What is a friend? And do I actually have one?
When I first started this thread, I'm sure I was of the mind that said "I have no friends and have never had any friends". Now, I'm not sure, at least for right now, I'm definitely certain I had none in the past, especially in school.
When I first started this thread, I'm sure I was of the mind that said "I have no friends and have never had any friends". Now, I'm not sure, at least for right now, I'm definitely certain I had none in the past, especially in school.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Not a single friend and I'll be 23 by the end of the month (hooray, not).
I hear ya man.grap3fruitman said:
If you saw my posts earlier in this thread, you would see my postings used to be just like yours (OK, some people may not agree, but I have definitely changed since I first posted in this thread.) What matters is how I feel, and I have my self-confidence.
1. Stop the negative attitude. It's not going to work. But clav, how do I do that?
2. Think and write a list of all the positive attributes you have. Be appreciative that you actually have internet and are born in a country that people aren't bombing warheads/missiles/motars at you. You don't have to wake up to the smell of burning gas or live in a run-down home with no food. You are born with legs/arms/working body parts, not dismembered or deformed in any way.
3. You do have friends. Stop saying you don't. I find it hard to believe in this day of age that you have zero friends. You must have at least one or two, and I say quality over quantity. Who cares someone has more? Those kind of friends are not close most likely.
I'll assume you went to college, right? Or some sort of education. I bet you had friends through school.
4. Go out and meet people as someone suggested from hobbies. If you can't, go to parties or events. We have digital organizers now (i.e. Facebook) that can help you through this.
5. Develop a secure-self. You need self-confidence, and that will only come from a positive attitude. As much as people don't like to hear whine whine whine, it's true, and it sucks. This is where the positive attribute list comes in. You need this list to remind yourself, you don't have it as bad as other people do. That way, you can stop worrying about what you don't have.
6. Life is about fixing problems. Everyday there is a problem, and it's your attitude that you're going to fix it and be the winner. You choose to sit there and mope/cry about it and be the loser.
7. Dude why do you say have a job yet you are shy? How did you make it past the interview??? I'm curious now.
tl;dr: Find your self-worth. If you don't have self-worth, then you are nothing. Find it. Everyone has something worthy of themselves.
Keep talking. I'm interested what you have to say.
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