Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
hey gurl
I cant help but just watch this gif over and over. What is it from?
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GirlGAF |OT 2| Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Eve?
- Thread starter Devolution
- Start date
I cant help but just watch this gif over and over. What is it from?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TYpvtMWQKU
i've been making gifs of it for somebody over in pop-gaf: http://satchworks.minus.com/mbk90oAGj3/1g
SteveWinwood
Member
50 shades is hilariously bad. Y'all are missing out.
hey gurl
*hugs* Swag welcome wagon. I am okay with this.
And, I have no interest in 50 Shades whatsoever. How it came to be still baffles the hell out of me, and I could probably find more hilarious
ly worse
cloudwalking
300chf ain't shit to me
hey
So I got oddly curious about this 'fifty shades of grey' thing everyone is talking about nowadays and against my better judgement decided to take a peak. Don't make the same mistake as me. I got about two chapters in and gave up, it was so poorly written I felt simultaneously bored and dirty reading it. Had a bit of a flip through the rest and it appears to be a book about (spoilered in case anyone wants to read it)There is a way to do erotic novels... but jeez, this was so not it. At least, not for mean average (virgin) uni student who falls for a sexy billionaire CEO who 'couldn't possibly be 30 yet'. yawn. Oh, and then becomes involved in a bondage relationship with him, and he lavishes her with compliments and clothes.
same story here.
it was morbid curiosity, the same feeling that made me attempt to read twilight. i now sorta wish i could get those hours of my life back. or at least that i could go back in time and read the book when i was not sober.
on one side it's so horribly written and completely absurd that it was almost entertaining at times. i found myself laughing my ass off on several occasions (yes, during the sex scenes too) simply from the way the author describes shit. there is some seriously convoluted-ass phrasing in there that just sounds so wacky that it's hilarious. MY INNER GODDESS IS DOING THE MERENGUE WITH SOME SALSA MOVES YEAH
on the other side it's horribly boring with horribly flat characters and i found myself skimming over or completely skipping large sections -- mostly parts with cringe- or yawn-worthy dialogue, too-long sections of anastasia's boring inner monologue, and oh yeah the book expects you to read through like a 7-page contract full of legal jargon. that i skipped too, because, uh, what the fuck was the author thinking?
in the end i did finish the book (and when i say 'finish' i mean i read the parts that didn't make me fall asleep). its popularity does baffle me, but i probably just don't get it because i am not a lonely housewife whose husband never sticks his dick in her. all i can say is that it was like watching a trainwreck. it derails early on, there is a lot of blood and dead bodies and terrible suffering all around, but for some reason you can't tear your eyes away.
i look forward to the day that this book will be translated into german so i can check it out. i have a feeling it will be 10x more hilariously bad in german.
Femmeworth
Banned
Oh dear, that sounds dreadful.So I got oddly curious about this 'fifty shades of grey' thing everyone is talking about nowadays and against my better judgement decided to take a peak. Don't make the same mistake as me. I got about two chapters in and gave up, it was so poorly written I felt simultaneously bored and dirty reading it. Had a bit of a flip through the rest and it appears to be a book about (spoilered in case anyone wants to read it)There is a way to do erotic novels... but jeez, this was so not it. At least, not for mean average (virgin) uni student who falls for a sexy billionaire CEO who 'couldn't possibly be 30 yet'. yawn. Oh, and then becomes involved in a bondage relationship with him, and he lavishes her with compliments and clothes.
It's a reskinned Twilight fanfic.
Which again begs the question of how this even got published in the first place.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Badly written sex in fiction is hard to read in full, but great for snippets! Hurray for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award!
Rowan Somerville:
"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her."
Craig Raine
"The two dints at the base of her back above her behind. What did they mean? They seemed enigmatic, strange, profound to Steph."
Stephen King:
“Ohmygodyes,” she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. “Is it over, or is there more?”
“A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time.”
It turned out there was quite a bit more. … At the end she began to gasp. “Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!”
or...
Lee Child:
“Faster, harder, faster, harder. The room began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. The French door trembled in its frame. A glass rattled on the bathroom shelf. The floor quivered. The hall door creaked and shuttered. My shoes hopped and moved. The bed head hammered against the wall. The floor shook hard. The walls boomed. Coins in my abandoned pocket tinkled.”
Rowan Somerville:
"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her."
Craig Raine
"The two dints at the base of her back above her behind. What did they mean? They seemed enigmatic, strange, profound to Steph."
Stephen King:
“Ohmygodyes,” she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. “Is it over, or is there more?”
“A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time.”
It turned out there was quite a bit more. … At the end she began to gasp. “Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!”
or...
Lee Child:
“Faster, harder, faster, harder. The room began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. The French door trembled in its frame. A glass rattled on the bathroom shelf. The floor quivered. The hall door creaked and shuttered. My shoes hopped and moved. The bed head hammered against the wall. The floor shook hard. The walls boomed. Coins in my abandoned pocket tinkled.”
Professor Beef
Banned
Those snippets...
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Faster, harder, faster, harder. The land began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. France trembled in its sedimentary basin. A glacier rattled on the Arctic plain. The ground quivered. Panama creaked and shuttered. Iceland hopped and moved. Russia's taiga zone hammered against the Ural Mountains. Europe shook hard. The coastlines boomed. Treasure laden sunken ships in the Marianas Trench tinkled.
Dr.Palutena
Member
I like this sex scene better.
SteveWinwood
Member
Why did he use lepidopterist instead of entomologist?
That's the real question.
Also it's amazing the people who are reading it. I'm constantly amazed when I see some old lady talking about it and thinking she read a bunch of sentences about nipple clamps.
That's the real question.
Also it's amazing the people who are reading it. I'm constantly amazed when I see some old lady talking about it and thinking she read a bunch of sentences about nipple clamps.
hey gurl *.*
Femmeworth
Banned
*fans self* It's getting quite hot in here.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
What kind of idea are we gonna give lurkers if they open this thread and see us all getting horny for hot continent on continent action.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Professor Beef
Banned
...You probably should ignore that.
Devolution
Member
Time to do some recording. Already got the Stephen King one done.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Hello H.Protagonist, you're quite good at turning me on.
How about now? Eh? Eh?
Oh, yes PLEASE! Are you doing all the parts or is TD helping out?
Devolution
Member
Oh, yes PLEASE! Are you doing all the parts or is TD helping out?
Wouldn't be nearly as funny without collaboration. Also is there a link to more of those?
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
How about now? Eh? Eh?
You're such a succubus.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Pleeeeeeeeeaseeeeee read the excerpt from Brazil. It's beautiful.
http://www.flavorwire.com/52747/bad-sex-awards
Some are quite long, though:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortlist
It is my pleasure to stoke the geothermal fires of your viscous mantle.
P.S. No RP now?
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Where do you find these gems.
You're going to make me send a creepy confession now. Rawr.
And had to show some support of Soul Calibur with my normal avatar. I'll go back to RP if someone makes a fun topic for them.
Devolution
Member
Delicious. Definitely gonna have to do some of these not sober.
Don't mind me, I enjoy this already.
Also, 'lo Devo.
Hello thar =D.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Boredom and alcohol maketh a ripe combo for random internet searches and creepy confessions.
For RP, we do need a new theme. Maybe something summer-y? Sunburn-y?
Have you ever seen "Drunk History"? This is what I envision for your project.
Drunk History Vol. 1: On August 6th 2007, Mark Gagliardi drank a bottle of Scotch...
And then discussed a famous historical event.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
When are we gonna see your project, Devo? I love those kind of recordings.
Here's one of my favorites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVTiIxFOKtM
Boredom, alcohol, and you asked for it. Or you're gonna tell me all that continent talk was just because you "feel comfortable" with it. Huh. HUH.
And I'd rather remain not-sunburned for the time being.
Here's one of my favorites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVTiIxFOKtM
Boredom and alcohol maketh a ripe combo for random internet searches and creepy confessions.
For RP, we do need a new theme. Maybe something summer-y? Sunburn-y?
Boredom, alcohol, and you asked for it. Or you're gonna tell me all that continent talk was just because you "feel comfortable" with it. Huh. HUH.
And I'd rather remain not-sunburned for the time being.
This bit of RP talk is making me want to ramble on about my escapades. A dark, hilarious chapter of my life, indeed.
*polite bow* Pleasure to meet you, awesome person. We must do tea, sometime.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
Bring it! My lazy Saturday cries out for entertainment and Hell's Kitchen is not scratching the itch!
Does this mean we're posting horrific sunburn pictures?
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
And now you must share it with us.
Everyone has, but it's all on OT1. For real.
Dear Ronito: a certain GirlGAFfer has been teasing me and as a result I'd do some heavy continent drifting on her tectonic plates, which I will now proceed to narrate in detail.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Damn it, you people always making me push what's NSFW and what's not.
Damn it, you people always making me push what's NSFW and what's not.
Orgy!
I would have to warn you; it involves k-pop, humping, mary-sues/gary-stu's up the ying-yang, tumblr gif abuse, and lots and lots of Homestuck.
Yes, I wrote for anime.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I don't understand any of that, so details, details.
shanshan310
Member
Hey guys what's been ha-
...
...
RUN SHANNY, RUNHey guys what's been ha-
...
Well, I used to be heavily involved with the play-by-post anime RP community, which mostly operated around proboards, though I think they've been migrating to jcink these days. A lot of us were female, roleplaying guys were few and far between, and Harry Potter, Pokemon and other fandom-based sites were a dime a dozen. As for the writing? Let's just say it varies. Plus, everyone loves k-pop and Homestuck. Everyone.
I've made several sites with my own original ideas, but unfortunately, none of them ever took off. I could tell more, if girlgaf wills it.
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