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[Dr. Suchong]

I spend way too much time thinking/reminiscing about happier times, and feeling that horrible lurch in my stomach as I realise I'm over halfway through my expected lifespan (if I'm lucky and don't succumb to some awful illness that cuts it short)
Games and music lend me some comfort.
Friendships have drifted away because of responsibilities and life and whatnot.
My partner is an alcoholic, so I have the horrible decision of possibly ending things because it's just too much.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself, far from it.
Just honestly have resigned myself to the thought that perhaps I aren't meant to be happy. And that's OK.

 

[JimmyRustler]

How???

Hard to say. I'm not sure. I changed a couple of things in my life.
What I think made the biggest impact will probably not help you at all since this is a very unique problem of mine (has to do with my nutrition and digestion). Can't tell you how good it feels to be able to drink coffee again at 7pm and dazze off with no problem at 11pm... Enjoy the little things people.

 

[nightmare-slain]

2/10 maybe.

Could be doing a lot of things better in my life but I'm full fear and anxiety so I hide away from everything by escaping into games, movies, books, and alcohol. The only positives I can think of recently is that I am starting to get better at doing some things but it's a case of being so fucking scared that it takes over from the other kind of fear I have. I get so scared to do something but then I get scared because I'm not doing it? If that makes sense lol. I am a shitebag and the fear goes in circles.

At any point in my day if I don't keep my mind busy then I will have a panic attack so I'm always trying to keep myself focused on something. I can't sit down and relax for 5 minutes because my head starts going crazy and I'll freak out. It's obviously much worse at night when I'm trying to get to sleep. The only way I get to sleep is by listening to music, "meditating" so that my mind is completely empty, or getting so drunk I pass out but then I have nightmares about stupid shit and sometimes really traumatic stuff that sticks with me for days, weeks, or months. I had a nightmare a few months ago and I still remember every detail and I will randomly remember it and feel awful.

I don't know what is going to happen. I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start and it feels like I will never get a grip of myself. I honestly think at some point I'll have a full on breakdown or kill myself.

I don't have any friends and don't believe anyone could like me. I hate myself because I'm such a pathetic person and I assume everyone puts up with me, talks about me behind my back, laughs at me, and wants nothing to do with me. I don't think I'm good enough for anyone and I'd not add any value to anyones life.

 

[niilokin]

nerve-wreckingly in (unrequited) love with a dear friend. such a special hell.

 

[AJUMP23]

I sometimes wish I don't wake up at all

I am sure someone is glad you did.

 

[Batiman]

Could be doing a lot of things better in my life but I'm full fear and anxiety so I hide away from everything by escaping into games, movies, books, and alcohol. The only positives I can think of recently is that I am starting to get better at doing some things but it's a case of being so fucking scared that it takes over from the other kind of fear I have. I get so scared to do something but then I get scared because I'm not doing it? If that makes sense lol. I am a shitebag and the fear goes in circles.

At any point in my day if I don't keep my mind busy then I will have a panic attack so I'm always trying to keep myself focused on something. I can't sit down and relax for 5 minutes because my head starts going crazy and I'll freak out. It's obviously much worse at night when I'm trying to get to sleep. The only way I get to sleep is by listening to music, "meditating" so that my mind is completely empty, or getting so drunk I pass out but then I have nightmares about stupid shit and sometimes really traumatic stuff that sticks with me for days, weeks, or months. I had a nightmare a few months ago and I still remember every detail and I will randomly remember it and feel awful.

I don't know what is going to happen. I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start and it feels like I will never get a grip of myself. I honestly think at some point I'll have a full on breakdown or kill myself.

I don't have any friends and don't believe anyone could like me. I hate myself because I'm such a pathetic person and I assume everyone puts up with me, talks about me behind my back, laughs at me, and wants nothing to do with me. I don't think I'm good enough for anyone and I'd not add any value to anyones life.

Start lifting some weights brother. I’m 100% sure it’ll help. I find it helps dramatically with my anxiety. When I go through lazy streaks, my anxiety sky rockets. Give it a try. Just force yourself to start. That’s the hardest part

 

[Nankatsu]

I would say a solid 6. Had a rough time during covid and was not satisfied with my job until the end of last year.

Fortunately I changed jobs in the beginning of the year and things are starting to shape up. Also got back at sports.

I just wish I had been way more patient with previous jobs and realize things come with due time. Took me to long to realize that.

Now my next step is to fix my love life again, if that's even possible

 

[Drake]

hmm, this a good question. If you asked me around this time last year it might have been an 8 or 9. Financially and job wise I'm doing great. I don't have to worry about the bills, can basically buy whatever I want, whenever I want and I'm in a field that I genuinely enjoy. I broke up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago though and it's been rough. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, but now it looks like that that's not the case. Honestly, I don't even want to date right now because she's on my mind too much and it wouldn't be fair to the next girl.

I'd probably say overall I'm like a 5.5 right now.

 

[LaughingStock]

I can't complain. But I would welcome death with open arms.

 

[Rival]

I’m overweight, take a blood pressure pill, can’t work out much anymore because of back pain, have zero time for most of my hobbies, haven’t had sex in a while, am losing my hair, and never get to see my family yet somehow I’m pretty happy and content most of the time. I think it’s because I don’t have kids or any real debt to speak of minus my very affordable mortgage so there’s nothing I really stress about. Overall 7 out of 10.

 

[sedg87]

nerve-wreckingly in (unrequited) love with a dear friend. such a special hell.

Been there. Absolutely awful feeling.

 

[lachesis]

5/10 I guess? Not great but not bad either.
I have my cholesterol under control. Work wise, I'm doing well - been with the company with 25 years and in prime and much in need. Finances are generally in order - but could be better.
But uncertain future lies - and my kid going thru some hard times mentally. I tend to worry about things that I cannot control - which I guess is pointless in many cases.

Other than that, I was absolutely heart-broken by a date about a month ago. Everything was going so well, but that real avoidance personality of hers really burned me quite crispy.
But at least I know that I can fall in love like I used to when I was young. (I'm 49 - soon 50). I felt I was quite jaded and all after my divorce 6 years ago and focused on work and child rearing.

 

[West Texas CEO]

I can't complain, althouh, I would like a better career.

 

[Ristifer]

I'm good career wise but everything else is bad.

Took 6 years to get over a broken heart. A girl that I loved so much suddenly left me for another guy. (She modeled for a L'Oréal commercial and is just fucking gorgeous) Right when I was about to recover, my dad passed away very suddenly. He was in great health. We were watching the world cup and talking and enjoying the match when he suddenly had a stroke out of nowhere and died right before my eyes. Dad and I were close and I miss him every single day. Tmr will be the 6th month anniversary of his passing. For the first 3 months of his passing, I've had chest pains every single day and I had difficulty breathing. I started to feel a little better from the 4rh month but last week the pains came back again.

I have a very severe bleeding disorder as well and I bleed into my muscles and joints every few days. I try to hit the gym 1-2 times a week to strengthen my muscles. I also have overactive bladder and I pee very often at night even though I'm on medication. It leaves me really exhausted every day.

I try to laugh and make people laugh as much as possible because I'm a positive as fuck person. I might be going through a lot of pain but nothing can get me down.

This is pretty much me, with a few differences. I’m not positive, I didn’t have a model woman, and no major disorders that I know of.

Still, I know the feeling of losing a parent right in front of my eyes. My Dad passed in a similar way right before the pandemic. It’s gotten a tiny bit more bearable as time has gone on, but it is a constant pain in my soul. Not to mention my Mom’s 13-year anniversary of her passing is coming up next month. Life just wears me down way easier than it should.

When you lose people like that, and I’m still relatively young, you start to question what the point is to all this. I’m not suicidal, nor am I even depressed. However, it’s hard for me to see the positive side to anything as a result. Like I said, life just wears me down now. Even the smallest things irk me to no end. I have a shed in the backyard that’s falling apart, and I get pissed off just thinking about its existence.

My partner and I are expecting our first baby next month, and so there’s some nice positivity there. But I struggle with the above issues on a regular basis. They feel never ending. I bury myself in hobbies and music to try to balance myself a bit better, and so I’m at least trying day-by-day.

 

[Edmund]

This is pretty much me, with a few differences. I’m not positive, I didn’t have a model woman, and no major disorders that I know of.

Still, I know the feeling of losing a parent right in front of my eyes. My Dad passed in a similar way right before the pandemic. It’s gotten a tiny bit more bearable as time has gone on, but it is a constant pain in my soul. Not to mention my Mom’s 13-year anniversary of her passing is coming up next month. Life just wears me down way easier than it should.

When you lose people like that, and I’m still relatively young, you start to question what the point is to all this. I’m not suicidal, nor am I even depressed. However, it’s hard for me to see the positive side to anything as a result. Like I said, life just wears me down now. Even the smallest things irk me to no end. I have a shed in the backyard that’s falling apart, and I get pissed off just thinking about its existence.

My partner and I are expecting our first baby next month, and so there’s some nice positivity there. But I struggle with the above issues on a regular basis. They feel never ending. I bury myself in hobbies and music to try to balance myself a bit better, and so I’m at least trying day-by-day.

The pain gets worse when you go to social media and see your friends celebrating birthdays and anniversaries with both their parents.

It isn't fair. I wish my dad was still here.

Even going out to the mall. I see men much older than my dad still around, healthy and with their family, I can't help but feel very jealous.

 

[eddie4]

4/10 getting closer to 3/10
ugh

 

[BigDeadFreak]

2/10 maybe.

Start lifting some weights brother. I’m 100% sure it’ll help. I find it helps dramatically with my anxiety. When I go through lazy streaks, my anxiety sky rockets. Give it a try. Just force yourself to start. That’s the hardest part

I was just about to post the same thing. I've never suffered from anxiety but a regular weight lifting routine has helped me through the ups and downs in my life. It's a mixture of structure, endorphins from the exercise and the sense of progression.

nightmare-slain​

Try to do a full body workout, three times and week and mainly focus on compound exercises.

 

[kurisu_1974]

 

[SF Kosmo]

I am happy with my life, but I still want things or wish some things were better.

Good:
+ I have a happy relationship with a supportive partner
+ Awesome step-daughter who fully accepts me as dad
+ I make good money/top 10% income bracket
+ No major health issues

Could be better:
- Feel like I'll never be able to afford a house where I live
- Want another kid but not sure if wife's body is up for it
- Although I make good money, I am contract so I get lousy benefits and bad job security.

Overall, though, I am very happy with how things are. My life is wildly different from what it was even just a few years ago. I spent a lot of years financially struggling, and dating (mostly younger) women who weren't good partners or who didn't want to settle down yet, so my current life of stability and domesticity feels very homey.

I sometimes miss aspects of single life (what guy doesn't?), but nothing beats the sense of being where you belong and being there for your family.

 

[JoduanER2]

I was just about to post the same thing. I've never suffered from anxiety but a regular weight lifting routine has helped me through the ups and downs in my life. It's a mixture of structure, endorphins from the exercise and the sense of progression.

nightmare-slain​

Try to do a full body workout, three times and week and mainly focus on compound exercises.

I agree with this, nothing better for your health than lifting weights. It doesnt have to be anything crazy, you just need to "feel" the weight and the muscle development.

 

[Rentahamster]

8.8

 

[ReBurn]

Life is good

 

[Grildon Tundy]

Things are looking up! Finally getting my footing at my new job and have a date lined up this week.

 

[Dr. Claus]

Not sure. Things are looking up. I am back in school, losing weight, working towards my dreams - have my first planned adult vacation ever and will be turning 30 soon. Could things be better? Of course, but compared to where I was things have improved greatly. I have stopped trying to compare myself to others and to where I was. As long as I am better than the day before, things are good.

 

[Zuo]

Very, finally

 

[SiahWester]

So satisfied I almost feel it could just be all downhill from here. Hope not, but thankful for my present day life.

 

[John Marston]

I often think about death, health problems and how fucking short and fragile human life is

There's this quote by Roger Ebert I stumbled upon which gives me comfort and makes a hell of sense:

"I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. What I am grateful for is the gift of intelligence, and for life, love, wonder, and laughter."

 

[John Marston]

And I'm getting out of this thread because some of you just make me sad & filled with empathy.
Sometimes you gotta punch the Darkness until it bleeds Daylight.

 

[Liquid_015]

Not satisfied. Early 30s and still living with the family. No relationship. Only real when I am useful to friends. Used to work in the finance world. Left and completed a masters in arts - started doing freelance for a bit (not going so well). Picked up tennis, and have been grinding on that for some time. No career progression. Playing CoD MW2 on a daily basis meanwhile other friends are getting married and etc... So yeah... I'd like to put a bullet in my head as well - so hit me up?

 

[TheDreadLord]

A lot of stress and potentially moving to another country to add even more stress. Not sure how things will develop though.

 

[Wunray]

In reality, it's like a 7/10, but I wish I still had my dad here with me, ngl been sheltered most of my life so it's kinda been scary trying to helm my own ship but if it's one thing my dad taught me it's the work has to get done, no one is gonna do it for you. So I'm trying my best day to day and I encourage everyone to try as well. I heard this quote before, "I'm not entirely sure what I'm building here, but I'll keep at it so one day it'll be so clear you can see it from the moon".

 

[Elder Legend]

It’s ok to vent, right? Honestly, I think life would be better if I wasn’t married. The kids are great, even with my one and only being a special needs kid. We have a great time together. My career, best it’s ever been. I’ve been offered two jobs, but declined because I like my current job. Money is fine, no debt. My spouse and I have a hard time getting along. I knew her six months before we got married and those crazy things people say when you tell them about it are starting to show. We didn’t really adapt to each other and it shows. We were in counseling together during the first couple months of dating. Now that seems crazy. Wouldn’t that help resolve some issues? I went to counseling for months and all it did was transition to my own personal problems. It didn’t strengthen us. It’s the equivalent to meeting a hookup and them inviting you to therapy for yourself.

I sometimes have this feeling like I could accomplish more and do more. I want my own home. I’m sick of her telling me it’s her home. It doesn’t feel like my home. I feel like I’m not where I want to be in life. I don’t feel like I’ve got my corner of the house. I’ve got the corner of the house that the lady of house provides for me. We talked about divorce, but she says she’ll make me pay child support and spousal support. She won’t let my mom see my kid. Basically, she’ll throw me under the bus if I ever decide I want to leave her. Other than that, things are pretty good.

So basically - she is a melevenot and manipulative individual? No offense but this sounds like someone who just wants easy mode and leech of other individuals. I'd prolly just save up a bunch of money, buy a house in secrecy for yourself, and leave in the middle of the night, cut of all communications and never respond to her ever.

Also, why would you marry someone after only knowing them for 6 months??

 

[6502]

Figures illustration only:

1.Income £1000 outgoings £1100 =misery.

2.Income £1000 outgoings £900 = happiness.

At stage 2 but have several years of stage 1 to overcome. Mildly content provided nothing changes.

 

[TylerD]

I'm about to go out and buy a tube of hemorrhoid cream for the fist time in my life. That's how its going.

I had some problems but 1/2 cup of Bran Buds every other day pretty much takes care of them.

--------------

8 out of 10 right now. I feel like I could and maybe should be making more money at this point in my career (who doesn't?) but I'm still probably 20-25 years from retirement and pretty comfortable. I make about 25K more than the median household income for my city as a single person. I work from home and have really good benefits. Work schedule changed from about 2 years working overnight 4 nights a week to now working during mostly daylight hours 5 days a week and sleep is so much better.

Have a house, a couple of cars (1 paid off), great dog, love listening to music and that greatly enriches my life.

No significant other and had to replace my home AC system recently so that knocks me down a point or so. I'm generally happy and healthy.

 

[Celcius]

5/10 at best but I'm working on it

 

[PanzerAzel]

Pretty bad.

Was hit with a softball sized tumor in my chest at 20. Spent all of my twenties and up to 37 in and out of chemo and treatment to shrink it. Pretty much my entire adult life has been one long fight against severe illness, and this has come at the cost of any career or independence in my life. I’ve also Bipolar II. Now 45, not much to show for it. Living in chronic pain, on chronic narcotics, had a stroke in ‘21 and had to relearn how to walk again. Live with my folks and help with my mother who is falling deeper into dementia. I don’t have friends here and have never been in a relationship with anyone. My lifestyle has honestly not been very conducive to being social or getting out into the world. I’m exhausted and in bed in pain most of the time. I don’t work, my work experience is menial and mostly in my early twenties (fast food and such) and live on $1.2k disability a month.

The residual tumor is eating into my nerve branch to my left arm. More chemo is out, surgery is out. I’m researching euthanasia, but truth is it will probably end a lot more abruptly than that. I don’t really have anyone in my life at all aside my parents anyway.

It’s not been a fun ride, and I don’t know how it all went so wrong. I really wish I had my health.

 

[stn]

Professionally I've almost reached my peak in a very short amount of time (partner at a very reputable law firm). All I'm really missing is a wife, and some better lifestyle choices.