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[canvee]

Gamer PTSD

I just pretend that Nintendo didn't have an e3 presentation this year, it helps ease the pain

 

[ULTROS!]

Read the entire OP and it's sensible. Marc is still kinda scaring me though.

Current day Nintendo really makes it hard for their fans sometimes. I wonder if Snesfreak will snap now. <.<

Now I'm genuinely curious what will happen to the crazy Nintendo fans if the Wii U flops hard.

Not that I want it to flop anyway.

 

[SpacePirate Ridley]

Is this confirmation that everyone using a Kid Icarus Uprising avatar is mentally unstable and "biased" towards a certain company?

I have a confirmation over the years that all the people with Naruto avatars (thank god not many in this forum) are sony fanboys.
There has to be a scientific theory about this.

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

He wouldnt touch the wii u

 

[REMEMBER CITADEL]

I think the proviso has to be its dead public speakers known for cultural revolution so you've got options like Hitler extolling the virtues of Wünderbook while Martin Luther King Jr would preps an audience for "the promised land of controller free gaming".

Let's do "Sigmund Freud introducing the Wiimote" while we're at it.

 

[MuzzledBasher]

It is.

Although it's only ahead by some 2 million sales...

What is the world coming to when we can't even have some rudimentary fact checking in fanfics

 

[JacksUsername]

Reads like Steve Jobs/Nintendo fan faction. Really, OP? Really?

 

[IceDoesntHelp]

lol

 

[Huff]

Someone had to take AceBandage's place

 

[KillerTravis]

Now I'm genuinely curious what will happen to the crazy Nintendo fans if the Wii U flops hard.

Not that I want it to flop anyway.

We will make Fanfics of people going crazy on the streets trying to buy one of course. Painting Xbox and PS3s in white so they can pretend they have a Wii U.

 

[Mistle]

stills of reggie never fail to make me laugh. just something about him

 

[jetsetfluken]

Its the sort of deluded sense of subtlety that tastes the most ironic when avatar, post history, and everything combined tell a terrible tale that cannot be denied. I also wish ages were mandatorily listed underneath poster's avatars. I feel bad if we're ribbing a teenager but then become worried when its someone in their late twenties and beyond.

The increased frequency of posting and threads by this user in the last month can only signal one thing: summer vacation from school.

Really though, this is the kind of posting I'd not bat an eye at on a place like GameFAQs or a Nintendo fansite, but GAF?

It was also kind of a revelation to me when I was contributing to the Zelda Wiki months ago to find most of the active users (listed in their profiles) on there were 16/17 or under.

 

[shinra-bansho]

I thought this was going to be a hilarious parody. I kept reading and it never came.

That's what I expected to see too when I clicked the thread. I didn't realise who the OP was until afterwards, at which point I just scrolled past to the reaction posts...

It's nearly 4.5K words...

 

[rdrr gnr]

I have a confirmation over the years that all the people with Naruto avatars (thank god not many in this forum) are sony fanboys.
There has to be a scientific theory about this.

Meh. Not too hard to make those connections. Avatars reflect something about said individual. I would absolutely agree that Nintendo fans are the most transparent. I can see that Naruto connection as well. Into Japanese-type culture -- maybe third party stuff when it comes to gaming -- thus, Sony.

That's what I expected to see too when I clicked the thread. I didn't realise who the OP was until afterwards, at which point I just scrolled past to the reaction posts...

It's nearly 4.5K words...

Yeah. I did the same check. It's about 11 pages formatted .

 

[SlipperyFishes]

I skimmed through it.


Is this a fanfic?

Absolutely.

 

[marc^o^]

Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.

 

[Huff]

No shit, a cadaver introducing a new console is not something you see every day.

 

[Holy Order Sol]

The fuck did I just skim through. I know we're supposed to actually read OPs here, but sometimes mental self-preservation kicks in in the process.

 

[danmaku]

Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.

If you wanted GAF to go crazy for the WiiU you should've made some changes to the console, too.

Or just give up (the only sane thing to do).

 

[Corto]

Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.

You're absolutely right, but it had more to do with Jobs own personality than of Apple presentation policy. Jobs was passionate about those products and that passion transpired through the whole presentation.

 

[goomba]

Steve jobs didn't give a shit about gaming.

I think your writing actually has potential from an advertising / PR point of view. Makes
Me wonder if Reggie even writes the speeches
He makes ?.

 

[flyinpiranha]

I know there is a ZombiU joke in here somewhere, I'm just not awake enough to make it.

 

[Des0lar]

How I would have presented Wii U:

 

[shinra-bansho]

This is literally Steve Jobs' 2007 keynote for the iPhone with the Wii U replacing the word "iPhone". LOL

Oh my god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svo45oepsI0

He even added the pauses.

I missed this before...

I'm not sure if this makes it worse or better: Putting the effort into writing a 4,000 word fanfiction trying to emulate a dead man vs transcribing a speech and plagiarizing said dead man.

 

[StoppedInTracks]

What is this thread.

Isn't Jobs and Apple the biggest enemy of Nintendo (iPad vs 3DS)?

Now you are dreaming about your own worst enemy to buy you out and be the head of your company?

Oh wait you dream about a DECEASED enemy?

You want Zombie Jobs to kick Iwata out?

C'mon son.

 

[grimshawish]

Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.

Miyamoto came out with Pikmin.
(which I've just learnt is his main picture on Wikipedia )

Jobs was repetitive (hence why you were able to reproduce it so easily). Reggie talked enough; they should have less awkward moments and just show us stuff.

 

[Fewr]

Haha I love E3 fan fiction. Is there a specific place in the internet for this type of fan fiction?

 

[superfamicom]

It would have been exactly the same presentation but the price would have been revealed as $499.99 and a bunch of suckers would start lining up outside an Apple store the very moment.

 

[mclem]

Next in the series: How Tak Fujii would have presented Wonderbook.

 

[areal]

Let’s start with the 6.2 inch resistive touchscreen.

Jobs, lol.

 

[alr1ght]

Someone had to take AceBandage's place

like a hydra

 

[Neo C.]

I'm not sure what is crazier: Your prediction of wm+ got super high sales a few years ago or this.

 

[DeaconKnowledge]

More Wii U press conference fanfics please. If someone could work on more "If _______ hosted..." perhaps Christopher Plummer or Jim Ross etc.

Somebody do a WWE inspired E3 press conference.

 

[gunstarhero]

good god in heaven... what have you done?

 

[Backfoggen]

E3 announcements fanfic. I've seen it all.

 

[jetsetfluken]

LOL

This is a day I&#8217;ve been looking forward to for two-and-a-half years.[0:26:28]

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Apple has been &#8211; well, first of all, one&#8217;s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Apple&#8217;s been very fortunate. It&#8217;s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 1984, we introduced the Macintosh. It didn&#8217;t just change Apple, it changed the whole computer industry.[0:27:12]
In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and&#8230; it didn&#8217;t just &#8211; it didn&#8217;t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we&#8217;re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mobile phone. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. [0:28:44]
An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone &#8230; are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. [0:29:19]
Today, today Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we&#8217;re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]

I'm going to translate that into Nintendo:

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Nintendo has been &#8211; well, first of all, one&#8217;s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Nintendo&#8217;s been very fortunate. It&#8217;s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 2006, we introduced the Wii. It didn&#8217;t just change Nintendo, it changed the whole gaming industry.[0:27:12]
In 2010, we introduced the first 3DS, and&#8230; it didn&#8217;t just &#8211; it didn&#8217;t just change the way we all see 3D, it changed the entire 3D industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we&#8217;re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen Pikmin with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mini-game collection. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications service called Miiverse.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen Pikmin with touch controls; a revolutionary mini-game collection; and a breakthrough Internet communications service called Miiverse. [0:28:44]
A new Pikmin, a mini-game collection, and an Internet communicator. A new Pikmin, a mini-game collection &#8230; are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate things, this is one thing, and we are calling it Wii U. [0:29:19]
Today, today Nintendo is going to reinvent the game, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we&#8217;re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]

 

[Pie and Beans]

Haha I love E3 fan fiction. Is there a specific place in the internet for this type of fan fiction?

Not as nuanced but the internet is filled with pearls such as:

The animated adaption is the best though due to the incredible (seriously high volume warning) ending: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_mZ2ROsHc8

 

[Major Zero]

As awkward a post as there ever will be, fanboys take note, this is the new low

 

[Rollo Lawson]

That shit cray.

In a perfect world, this is the first reply and the thread was locked right after.

 

[Wiz]

OP is secretly zombie Steve Jobs

 

[thecouncil]

...why didn't Steve Jobs announce more games?

 

[CorrisD]

This is literally Steve Jobs' 2007 keynote for the iPhone with the Wii U replacing the word "iPhone". LOL

Oh my god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svo45oepsI0

He even added the pauses.

LOL

This is a day I’ve been looking forward to for two-and-a-half years.[0:26:28]

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Apple has been – well, first of all, one’s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Apple’s been very fortunate. It’s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 1984, we introduced the Macintosh. It didn’t just change Apple, it changed the whole computer industry.[0:27:12]
In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and… it didn’t just – it didn’t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we’re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mobile phone. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. [0:28:44]
An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone … are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. [0:29:19]
Today, today Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we’re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]

Dat fan fiction plagiarism, lol.

 

[CosmicGroinPull]

Lol I hoped this would be some parody, but no- it's the other end of the spectrum (far faaar end).

 

[flyinpiranha]

Wait, so it's just a speech from 2007 by Jobs with Ctrl+F Apple:Replace Nintendo?

 

[Tim the Wiz]

This is literally Steve Jobs' 2007 keynote for the iPhone with the Wii U replacing the word "iPhone". LOL

Kinda makes me feel better for laughing like a crazed hyena. But still insane. There's so many innumerable productive things you could do besides plagiarize-craft Nintendo/Jobs slash fanfic. I mean, why?

 

[Auto_aim1]

Wait, so it's just a speech from 2007 by Jobs with Ctrl+F Apple:Replace Nintendo?

Pretty much.

 

[WrenchNinja]

Someone had to take AceBandage's place

Ace never went this far.

Spoiler

plus snesfreak seems to be doing a good impression

 

[ffdgh]

......oh my.

 

[Majine]

Steve Jobs on Wii U would've been like "Check out this really cool way of displaying your own pictures! *50 minutes later* Ok, here is A game... ok, we done!"

 

[corporate cheerleader]

Ace never went this far.

I remember him being quite hostile towards other members the few times I clicked on a Nintendo thread.