I don't know how that specific accent sounds, but is it maybe harder for second language English speakers to understand? Cause then it makes perfect sense why she slips into a midwest/Hollywood accent for the sake of verbal clarity.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
I act different based on who I'm with and don't really know my own personality.
- Thread starter egruntz
- Start date
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Earthbound64
Banned
Beginning: Philosophy 101
End: Philosophy 452
Seriously though, you're thinking way too hard about all of this.
You are who you've become.
Tragicomedy
Member
I think it is mainly about an ongoing examination of why you are the way you are so as to gain a deep understanding of your core values and learn how they affect your perception of reality and reactions to society and its standards and mores. The person you are is formed by a combination of internal and external pressures, for a self described people pleaser this can be a tricky situation as these pressures may clash, spending some time thinking about them and how they interact can be valuable and lead to personal growth.
Again, I don't think you are strange for changing your self presentation in differing social situations and I think it is great that you want to learn more about your self!
Earthbound64
Banned
You're not comfortable around your wife?
Does she do it on purpose? 'Cause that shit actually happens to the human brain.
I have to echo this. They're annoying with no sense of filter.
BeatnikGunsoo
Member
Yeah that's me
I'm surprised every time when people want to hang out with me
I don't like fake people, but most people are fake I guess, so I don't like many people :0
Earthbound64
Banned
Acting different around different people != Fake
Sorry you view it that way.
Hope your random acquaintances and work colleagues don't mind you slobbering all over them kissing them.
I often resort to a vegetative state in my home life.
Sgt.Pepper
Banned
It is normal. If my family saw me acting out with strangers/coworkers they would think "who the fuck is this guy"
Being different in different contexts is what every human being does. Every culture and person has it, it'd be weird if you didn't.
I mean, think about it, would you talk and behave the same way to your family? To your friends? To your partner? To your in-laws? To the Queen?
Heck, I act differently on different parts of the internet. Sometimes even different threads on this forum.
Hope things get better.
I mean, think about it, would you talk and behave the same way to your family? To your friends? To your partner? To your in-laws? To the Queen?
Heck, I act differently on different parts of the internet. Sometimes even different threads on this forum.
This sounds more like depression or axienty or something though. :/
Hope things get better.
TimeEffect
Member
Only way to stop this is to put on your own accent
Earthbound64
Banned
You must be fun in bed.
I usually just place a strap on on a body pillow. She doesn't notice and I have a sandwich.
Earthbound64
Banned
You're a miserable little pile of secrets, OP.
I've mimicked people for so long to build personal and professional relationships that at some point I've lost sight of what my default personality is.
It makes me wonder if I'm actually passionate about certain things or if I'm a hollow husk that is taking interest in those things simply because others are.
I've mimicked people for so long to build personal and professional relationships that at some point I've lost sight of what my default personality is.
It makes me wonder if I'm actually passionate about certain things or if I'm a hollow husk that is taking interest in those things simply because others are.
Matrix XII
Member
I'm the same as you OP. I think a lot of people are.
Cannon Goose
Member
It's completely normal and everyone does it.
SirRattleBalls
Banned
She lived with an American for like 4 months. I went to visit and she just started talking with it. Out of nowhere in front of the American girl and her two Italian housemates
TickleMeElbow
Member
I have a friend who's the exact opposite.
He acts and talks the same way no matter who he's around.
I actually think it's kinda admirable.
He acts and talks the same way no matter who he's around.
I actually think it's kinda admirable.
I somewhat relate OP. My personality can feel all over the place. For me, I act differently between Group A and B, who are only a little different from each other, but might act pretty similarly to Group B and C, who are quite different. In that way it feels hard to identify who I am right now. Complicating this, I've always been an introvert with strong tendencies to be unordinarily extroverted (around strangers, public, and the like) but for some reason these days I'm rather reserved and soft spoken besides a select few. I think anxiety and annoyance with others is clouding me, even though I feel good about life now and thought I got over the brunt of my depression some time ago.
I'm not gonna pretend to be a professional or anything, but generally speaking that's kinda normal. As a "people pleaser" myself, picking up on people's mannerisms and such easily isn't really that. You'd be more of a people pleaser if you continually put everyone else's wants and needs above yours regardless of the situation, only to keep them happy (and sometimes to your detriment).
What you're good at from what I'm understanding, is adapting to the situation.
Regardless of that, bottom line: it's fairly normal, I wouldn't get too hung up on it. I have in the past, wondering if I was "being fake" or not, but what you realize as you get older is you're just good at reading your surroundings and reacting accordingly.
My coworkers in my usually professional job would be in shock to see how I act and talk around my long-time best friends, lol.
Your definition of "fake" is too literal IMO. But I used to think that any too, until I got older.
Being fake isn't about acting differently in different environments. Being fake in that sense is lying in two different environments.
My work behavior is different than my behavior with my family - that's to be expected. But if I'm telling my family they're the best thing in the world then go to work and talk shit about them to anyone who'll listen, that's a problem.
Extreme example but yah.
The answer is 42.
Hitlersaurus Christ
Banned
There is no real you. Anyone who thinks they know their real self is fooling themselves. We are all nothing, but like, in a good way
There's a difference between pretending to be a different person out of deception, and highlighting certain parts of your personality to best get along with whoever your with.
In regards to the OP, it's normal.
Me with close friends is not the same as me with my parents, or me with a crush, and etc.
Okay so my Mother does this but with just about any language that's not English. And all it takes is for hear to hear a few words. Be it from one of the many Indian languages she's dabbled in, German, Japanese, French, or Spanish, she gets this faux... It's closest to a Spanish accent, I guess, but I don't know what it falls under. Anyways, it just bugs the ever living * out of me.
I hate that I feel so much actual annoyance over a speech quirk, especially one she seems proud of ("I'm a language sponge, I can't help it"), but every time she starts it I have to leave the room, because I don't want to say anything about it. And an agitated me is sure to slide some remark in.
I hate it. And it makes me angry when I think of how stupid my "problem" even is.
While it's natural for humans to act differently around different people, there's a limit where it becomes unhealthy. There's a thing called fear of rejection which can make you avoid any situations where you might be in risk of offending or challenging others even if it means you cannot speak your mind or act like you would want to. It has to do with your self-confidence as well. Are you willing to reveal what you really think or feel? Of course most people don't act 100% natural or honest at work for example, but around friends it is important to let go of those masks and feel relaxed. People will not abandon you if you stop pleasing them in every turn.
If you never challenge others or stand up to your own thoughts, you will end up as a social weakling and people will not respect you for who you are.
If you never challenge others or stand up to your own thoughts, you will end up as a social weakling and people will not respect you for who you are.
Benzychenz
Member
Well yeah, everyone knows you can deepen your relationships if you equip a matching persona.
Damn this is me... like 99% accurate from word to word. Thanks for this resource!
How About No
Member
Japan should make an RPG about this, preferably with high school kids fighting demons. I hope they make at least 5
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'm sure it's been mentioned, but what you're describing is called the 'Chameleon Effect' or 'Mirroring'
It's actually pretty important in helping to build relationships and bonds with people, some people can struggle with this and can end up being labelled as someone who has an 'overbearing personality'
It's actually pretty important in helping to build relationships and bonds with people, some people can struggle with this and can end up being labelled as someone who has an 'overbearing personality'
It sounds like you're just really adaptable...or trying to be (even if you aren't particularly comfortable with it or good at it). There's nothing wrong with that, although it's important to know your limits. I recently took a personality test at 16personalities.com and read the basic profile that it provided me with. Since my personality type (INTP-T, Logician) has a tendency to offend people, I purchased a premium profile that teaches me more about why I offend people so regularly and provides details on how to interact with other personality types. I found that I'm already quite good at adapting, but one thing that I noticed is that a lot of people don't seem to reciprocate. That's probably what's happening in your case.
If you have ten minutes to take a personality test at the aforementioned site, then feel free to PM me the results, and I'll send you a detailed profile that should give you some guidance in dealing with other personality types. It'll also give you suggestions on how to deal with various aspects of your life to ensure that it's all ideal for your personality type. It'll also give you a better understanding of yourself in general.
If you have ten minutes to take a personality test at the aforementioned site, then feel free to PM me the results, and I'll send you a detailed profile that should give you some guidance in dealing with other personality types. It'll also give you suggestions on how to deal with various aspects of your life to ensure that it's all ideal for your personality type. It'll also give you a better understanding of yourself in general.
Blargonaut
Banned
Right now, live in my bedroom, I am on my phone and watching at least four wild geckos on the walls hunt moths. There's a particularly huge moth stuck between the window and the curtains, and I just saw the second-biggest gecko leap into that space for it. The biggest one? It's on the wall by the lamp, eating the small moths from the light-buzzing cloud that happen to land there beside it. The other two, one is a baby gecko and just got chirped onto the floor by the biggest, and the other one left to another corner of the room completely. I can see the curtains puff outwards with every leapt dash and hear those wings' buzzing as the struggle goes on. Why do I respect the one I can't see the most? Is it because it's fighting? Or is it because it's losing? The baby gecko crawled away.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Similar threads
- Locked