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[Mohonky]

Reminds me of a worksite I worked on. All the guys lived on protein shakes and high protein meals, the toilets were a fucking disaster zone.

The peggies would talk of turds so big they couldnt be flushed, they'd have to try and stuff them down the pipes.

I dunno how anyone could pass such breadloaf sized beasts but on more than one occasion I could gear the grunting of what I can only assume was the birth of such monsters.

Mind you, when the shit truck would come around to empty the toilet facility you could hear the occaaional thud and bang and snaking of the hose as a big one got sucked up.

.....and of course the shit truck would arrive lunch time every day so you got to enjoy the smell as you ate.....

 

[Jarrod38]

BA-WOOSH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IL2YRDzpTL4

 

[Apt101]

I too have taken Major League shits.

Always flush after the first salvo. And if the second bombing run is large as well, give it a second flush before you wipe. So three flushes total.

 

[Maximus.]

Why didn't you learn the second time and flush twice or something? Ignorant and inconsiderate.

 

[MaximumSpider]

Why didn't you learn the second time and flush twice or something? Ignorant and inconsiderate.

He's older and wiser now

 

[WhiskerFrisker]

This thread has me weak. Fabulous read during a train ride home.

 

[MilkyJoe]

Learn to shit, dude.

1. Look after every sploosh and flush if necessary.
2. Flush the shit and the paper separately.
3. Fold the paper. Don't bunch/ball it up, or wrap it around your hand.
4. Flush the paper in stages in necessary.

I've only clogged toilets when I was a kid and didn't know any better, or I was operating unfamiliar equipment i.e. "You gotta hold/jiggle the handle and sacrifice a virgin to even flush the water in bowl."

Also, when using an unfamiliar toilet for the first time, flush it once before you put any shit in there to see how it does with just the water.

Your shits must be atomic, no one normal needs to do this.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Records are made to be broken.

Go for 3.

 

[Tom Nook]

I'm guilty of clogging other people's toilets.

Sorry.

 

[demosthenes]

You need the fibers

What? I have a ton of fiber, take a shit once a day :lol

 

[esmith08734]

LOL, kind of reminds me of one my most stressful moments.

I was at a party, went to the bathroom to pee. The toilet seat was down so I lifted it up and there was a Titanic turd jammed in there. I was a bit unsure what to do. Do I attempt to flush and potentially be stuck with this overflowing mess if this ship can't be sunk? Or do I leave it? But if I leave it, the next person will think it was me who dropped the deuce. Ultimately I left it in there.

OP, sometimes you're just going to be in shitty situations like this.

 

[Astral Dog]

Healthy Diet good old excercise, lots of fiber and most important this baby

 

[steveovig]

Have you tried this, I hear it helps

 

[Fudgepuppy]

I shit like five times a day.

Lots of coffee and not a lot of bread or fibres in my diet.

How the fuck are you supposed to get fibres if you're on a low carb diet?

And also, that spinning toilet gif, always makes me giggle.

 

[WaterAstro]

You had two of these in a day?

 

[Clockwork5]

Well this thread has my colon quite excited. I'm at work and gonna make you proud, OP.

 

[Earthbound64]

Well this thread has my colon quite excited. I'm at work and gonna make you proud, OP.

I think you were looking for this thread

 

[Generalpsyduck]

Gotta learn how to waffle stomp at home.

Spoiler

don't look that up

 

[Quixzlizx]

I shit like five times a day.

Lots of coffee and not a lot of bread or fibres in my diet.

How the fuck are you supposed to get fibres if you're on a low carb diet?

And also, that spinning toilet gif, always makes me giggle.

Vegetables?

 

[Unicorn]

"have" is a word, and all those "of"s should HAVE been "have"s.

Sort your shit, dude, literally. Courtesy flush the logs, then wipe and flush that.

 

[RBH]

 

[Earthbound64]

He slept in the bathroom?

 

[playingwithfire]

I think the janitor comes after hours.
He would probably tell other people and I wouldn't want to be known as a toilet blocker.

"Sorry, yes, hi. I'm afraid someone has blocked two of the staff toilets with a large quantity of poop."

Simple. You don't have to tell the janitor that it was you that did it.

 

[Unicorn]

fukken ready for that taco bell wedding for sure.

 

[bootsthecat]

Reminds me of the time I clogged one of the toilets, and left it overflowing with some diarrhea-like madness only to see the janitor guy on my way out. I made no eye contact, said 'sorry!' and ran out of there like a bat outta hell.

Felt good

 

[somecrazymember]

Reminds me of the time I clogged one of the toilets, and left it overflowing with some diarrhea-like madness only to see the janitor guy on my way out. I made no eye contact, said 'sorry!' and ran out of there like a bat outta hell.

Felt good

Lmao at the 'Felt good'

 

[Reptars Revenge]

Damnnnn it with that bump I thought OP went back and finished off the third toilet. No witnesses!!!!

 

[TetraGenesis]

Cracking up right now. Holy shit, Dan.

 

[Contica]

Sounds like a pretty bad diet you're on. When I shit I use one, or two papers max. If you need enough to clog a toilet... I dunno, what are you doing? Squirting number two?

 

[Plasma]

Is it shaped like a mammoth?

Salacious B. Crumb has not aged well.

 

[Man-is-Obsolete]

OP reminded me of a toilet I saw once with a turd so large it was resting on the bowl length wise and was about the same diameter as the hole of the toilet. Flushing the toilet worked but the turd wouldn't budge. Like how does something like that come out of a human?

 

[Earthbound64]

When I shit I use one, or two papers max.

Disgusting.

 

[gamma]

Disgusting.

Healthy actually.

 

[Messofanego]

I kinda avoided the bathroom area for the rest of the day and ate lunch at my desk so I don't know lol

Although I took a piss the next morning and both toilets were unblocked so the janitor must have worked on them that night.

I physically feel heaps better though

Did you ever thank the janitor for sorting out your mess?

Wow old thread!

In the end I lost my job working there btw.

Well, that answers that! lol

 

[velociraptor]

For the past three years I've had a problem of exquisitely large shits. I would expel a log once every other day. My old apartment had shitty plumbing so I would regularly block the toilet. I hated shitting for this very reason. Mind you my fibre intake was high - 30-40g a day. I had to don a pair of surgical gloves (always double glove), and crush the shit in my hands to allow it to be flushable.

Fortunately my new apartment's toilet has a powerful flush, and since taking antibiotics for an infection my bowels have been more softer so haven't had to don the gloves again. But I shit you not - my faeces were hard and large. I was amazed and shocked that I would expel 10 inches outta my ass.

 

[Timedog]

I've seen things you wouldn't believe...

 

[QMontague]

Introducing Public Bathrooms
Late post

 

[kotor22]

Man I seen this toilet with just coils of shit in it once, no water at all I couldnt flush it so I walked away to tell a janitor and someone just walks in rushin'! I hear the belt buckle clang on the floor, and seconds later I hear their shit just smack against the porcelain. What a day . . .

 

[Clockwork5]

For the past three years I've had a problem of exquisitely large shits. I would expel a log once every other day. My old apartment had shitty plumbing so I would regularly block the toilet. I hated shitting for this very reason. Mind you my fibre intake was high - 30-40g a day. I had to don a pair of surgical gloves (always double glove), and crush the shit in my hands to allow it to be flushable.

Fortunately my new apartment's toilet has a powerful flush, and since taking antibiotics for an infection my bowels have been more softer so haven't had to don the gloves again. But I shit you not - my faeces were hard and large. I was amazed and shocked that I would expel 10 inches outta my ass.

No

 

[Beerman462]

It's ok to flush mid shit to avoid this.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

I firmly believe I had the worlds biggest shit at a capsule hotel in Japan.

It was so big that it leaned up against the toilet and it was one solid size.

I have a pic of anyone wants to see.

 

[rtcn63]

I firmly believe I had the worlds biggest shit at a capsule hotel in Japan.

It was so big that it leaned up against the toilet and it was one solid size.

I have a pic of anyone wants to see.

We all know what Bono looks like

 

[psyfi]

Jesus dude, flush more often

 

[dealer-]

Man I seen this toilet with just coils of shit in it once, no water at all I couldnt flush it so I walked away to tell a janitor and someone just walks in rushin'! I hear the belt buckle clang on the floor, and seconds later I hear their shit just smack against the porcelain. What a day . . .

LoL. I have this problem at my girlfriends. I swear it's a child sized toilet, the pan is really shallow, only suitable for rabbit droppings really. Clogs up every damn time. Flushing the shit first and then the paper is the way forward generally.

 

[Social]

You had two of these in a day?

yup, this is ALL I could think about when reading this thread.

 

[Miles X]

I think you're lying, your post sounds fake tbh.