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[Tadaima]

I think it's less about not being attracted to fat people and more about not being attracted to deceptive people. The first impression is so important in this situation, and when that very first impression is "oh, you don't look at all like the person you advertised yourself as," it doesn't exactly lay a very concrete foundation.

This happened to me on one occasion almost two years ago, and although she was attractive despite being a few pounds heavier, I couldn't help but feel a bit deceived during the entire date. I just wanted to leave. I put up with it, but didn't bother meeting her again.

 

[Greddleok]

That is the point I was trying to make. I do agree with everything you said.

What I just wanted to say is that it's ignorant to not even give them a chance. There is no excuse for 'false advertising' and they shouldn't do it, but also I disagree with OP's statement to 'walk away' when he sees they're fat. Give them a chance, you don't know what'll happen, you might click well together and at the end of the day your view of a person as a whole really changes the way you see them, sexually as well.

You clearly didn't actually read what I said, since I didn't walk away from the 3 dates with overweight girls. I went in and honestly tried to have a good time, despite not being attracted to them.

There's never going to be "clicking" if I find someone's body unattractive. At best I might have made a new friend, but I didn't, none of them were a match in that respect either (but that's a flaw with dating sites, not fat girls).

 

[Busty]

A fat girl dumped me not too long ago.

Welp back to Fallout 4.

If you were constantly referring to her as "a fat girl" I may have just identified the problem with your relationship.

 

[danowat]

i'll let OP in on a secret, btw: People's weights can change.
So that hot chick you started dating might just gain some serious pounds, while your soulmate, currently 30 pounds too heavy for your liking (because she possibly went through some stressful years in her personal life or career) might eventually drop that extra weight.

Of course, your loss, not theirs.

Indeed, weight is not a fixed state

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

Everyone on dating sites should have to upload passport photos. There's a million dollar idea.

 

[danowat]

Everyone on dating sites should have to upload passport photos. There's a million dollar idea.

Yeah, because people don't tend to change in 10 years.

 

[GrotesqueBeauty]

Currently, yup. Got out of a long term relationship a while back (longer than most marriages, though we never tied the knot) and have had two relationships since. Dating has been a bit of a crash course after such a long relationship. At first I felt like I'd never find someone, but after getting involved I'm more worried about letting the right one in. I'm learning to listen to my intuition more, and if I'm not completely psyched to see a girl I should just avoid the situation altogether. It's better to be alone and work on hitting your stride than sink your time and energy into someone else if your heart isn't all the way in.

 

[GrizzleBoy]

It's a way to take a picture that disguises your fat body. If you then go out on a date with this girl, you then see her fat body and have to choose between walking away before she notices, or spending a couple of hours talking to someone you're not interested in at all.

Because I have a conscience, I end up dating them, and then explaining after that we weren't a good fit. Just fucks me off because I only have so much free time, I don't want to spend it with someone I have zero attraction to.

lol..........

The MySpace angle is a thing for sure, but the way you're phrasing things makes you sound like a dick.

There are probably overweight people reading this thread already conscious about their weight and afraid to even put themselves out there because they fear these reactions.

Then there's the whole thing where you're potentially literally turning down a soul mate because her weight means you probably aren't even willing to try.

As the poster above says, weight can go up or down at any time.

You sound like you have a lot of growing to do.

 

[openrob]

I recently broke up with my partner, after a few years, and I've been trying to get back into dating.
However, it turns out that literally everyone I speak to is in a relationship, or married. TV has lied to me. There aren't a bunch of single twenty-thirty somethings. They're all content in relationships.

I've had to resort to online dating, my god, it's awful. It took me 3 dates to figure out the "fat girl pose." Seriously people, post honest images, you're just wasting everyone's time if you don't.

People in relationships know people in relationships.
I guess it will take a while to branch out into new friendships...Or wait for your friends to break up haha

 

[hey_it's_that_dog]

well, let's not throw homosexuality, beastiality and superficiality into the same bucket, shall we :/

Oh please. He's just giving examples of his preferences to make a point. In no way are those things being put together in the same "bucket" in any way that you should find offensive.

 

[dity]

It's pretty much online dating 101 that you use current photos or even take new ones just for the profile. If you look radically different to photos then you update them. You're just making excuses for people lying. If someone takes some photos in front of huge pools, mansions, and expensive sports cars and comes off looking like he lives a life of luxury but actually works a minimum wage job would that be totally fine? "Oh no, that's not my car, I just thought it was pretty".

There's making the truth look more attractive and promoting your best qualities(eg: Getting a nice haircut and wearing a suit for a photo) and then there's just being deceptive(posing in a Ferrari and acting like it's your own).

But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.

 

[True Savior]

coworker (female, 24) has the same problem, even though she is quite the looker and a nice person to have around (at least at work)

Spoiler

inb4 op wants her phone number, i dont have it

That's also very normal from my experience. Some people simply dont expose themselves.

I've met a bunch women who are , not only single , have basically been single all their life and are stunning girls. As in , completely stunning. "Guys just dont ask me out...". But all of them were also shy and introverted.

 

[Fliesen]

Well they're poor comparisons but I think his point is just that you don't chose who you're attracted to.

yeah, i think, in a way, you kinda do. I don't think we can put stuff like homo / hetero / bi / a sexuality on an equal level as "no fat chicks, thank you". The latter is an entirely cultural construct. What is "desirable" / beautiful constantly changes throughout history and nothing that's rooted within a person, but is defined by culture / society.

OP would have claimed an inability to feel attracted to non-pale chicks, just centuries ago, or skinny chicks, even longer ago.

Again, claiming it's "wasting people's time" if people use pictures of their idealized selves, especially when it's in regards to weight, which is quite trivial to get rid of (given a supporting partner *cough cough*).

It's not like we're talking about people who lack both arms and legs. Of course this should be a fact that should be disclosed beforehand.

But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.

yup.

 

[Assanova]

That is the biggest problem with online dating. There are waaaaaaaay too many women who misrepresent what they look like by a long shot. Fortunately, there are also women who look much better than the pictures that they post. One thing that I've noticed, is that if you get her number, go to Facebook messenger and click on "people", it will match your phone book contacts to people on Facebook, and you can see what a lot of the women really look like before going out with them.

 

[dity]

That is the biggest problem with online dating. There are waaaaaaaay too many women who misrepresent what they look like by a long shot. Fortunately, there are also women who look much better than the pictures that they post. One thing that I've noticed, is that if you get her number, go to Facebook messenger and click on "people", it will match your phone book contacts to people on Facebook, and you can see what a lot of the women really look like before going out with them.

Holy fuckadooly this is creepy.

 

[G-Fex]

Wow I can't imagine why you're single.

 

[Shuggananas]

That is the biggest problem with online dating. There are waaaaaaaay too many women who misrepresent what they look like by a long shot

Lol, you implying guys don't do it too ?

 

[SuperBanana]

But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.

It's not paranoia at all. I don't even know where you're getting that from. Saying some people post deceptive photos isn't the same as sitting there stressing over every profile you see. Stop being so hyperbolic. I never said I was single either.

 

[Fliesen]

That is the biggest problem with online dating. There are waaaaaaaay too many women who misrepresent what they look like by a long shot. Fortunately, there are also women who look much better than the pictures that they post. One thing that I've noticed, is that if you get her number, go to Facebook messenger and click on "people", it will match your phone book contacts to people on Facebook, and you can see what a lot of the women really look like before going out with them.

whoa, this thread is getting super creepy all of a sudden.

Do you also cross-reference it to check on where they live?

IT'S JUST GOING ON A DATE WITH A PERSON. Stop being a creep, meet the person, talk to them, if there's no spark, move along.
Unless you only have a year to live, your precious time's not worth being a creep who cyberstalks people to obtain more information than they were willing to disclose beforehand.

It's not paranoia at all. I don't even know where you're getting that from. Saying some people post deceptive photos isn't the same as sitting there stressing over every profile you see. Stop being so hyperbolic. I never said I was single either.

The fact that you keep using the word deceptive which i do believe implies intent to deceive makes it sound somewhat paranoid, as there's plenty of people who simply use a photo they like. No ill intent.

I wouldn't call anyone paranoid, though. Much more, naive, as the fact that people's online profiles always are an idealized version of themselves is such a commonly known and widely accepted fact.

 

[scarlet]

I am single, and ready to mingle.

And I'm single and ready for a Pringle

 

[Assanova]

But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.

The mental gymnastics to try to make stuff like this seem okay is astonishing. It is lying, pure and simple. It is very well known that men care about looks in the way that women care about income and status. Trying to distort the truth of either is lying and wrong.

 

[dity]

It's not paranoia at all. I don't even know where you're getting that from. Saying some people post deceptive photos isn't the same as sitting there stressing over every profile you see. Stop being so hyperbolic. I never said I was single either.

You claim that a woman is probably looking to trick you or be more deceptive if they don't 100% look like their provided photo. In what world is that not paranoia? I mean, you think they're lying to you.

 

[Shuggananas]

The mental gymnastics to try to make stuff like this seem okay is astonishing. It is lying, pure and simple. It is very well known that men care about looks in the way that women care about income and status. Trying to distort the truth of either is lying and wrong.

quoted for posterity rofl

 

[bryanee]

32 and single for 9 years now I guess. I just couldnt be arsed with it all after my last relationship ended.

 

[Assanova]

Holy fuckadooly this is creepy.

If I am going to be spending $40-$60 on a date, then I want to know what you really look like. There is absolutely nothing creepy about wanting to see real pictures of a person before going out with them. Also, almost every woman I have dated has admitted to googling my name. Is that also creepy?

Lol, you implying guys don't do it too ?

Guys absolutely do it. I remember hearing these stories from girls that I've been out on dates with. It is wrong no matter who does it.

whoa, this thread is getting super creepy all of a sudden.

Do you also cross-reference it to check on where they live?

IT'S JUST GOING ON A DATE WITH A PERSON. Stop being a creep, meet the person, talk to them, if there's no spark, move along.
Unless you only have a year to live, your precious time's not worth being a creep who cyberstalks people to obtain more information than they were willing to disclose beforehand.



The fact that you keep using the word deceptive which i do believe implies intent to deceive makes it sound somewhat paranoid, as there's plenty of people who simply use a photo they like. No ill intent.

There is absolutely nothing creepy about wanting to see what your date really looks like. If I am spending money and time, then I want to see what you really look like. "The guy looked up real pictures of me. Soo creepy. Eew.". Seriously?

 

[Novocaine]

Online dating is awesome. I found my girlfriend on one and I've never been happier.

As someone that is into girls with a bit of meat on them though I still agree with the OP in that deceptive pictures are a bad idea.

I get why people do it, but it sucks. Online dating works best when you put your true self on display, and that goes for every aspect of a person not just their body weight. If you cannot be honest about yourself then how am I supposed to form a relationship with you, one based on trust?

And there's nothing wrong with not being attracted to fat people. Everybody has a type.

If I am going to be spending $40-$60 on a date, then I want to know what you really look like. There is absolutely nothing creepy about wanting to see real pictures of a person before going out with them. Also, almost every woman I have dated has admitted to googling my name. Is that also creepy?

I used to do a quick Google/Facebook search on people before I went out with then, but it was more a safety concern, to see if they were actually who they said they were. It was a little more important because I was not just on dating sites but also straight up hook-up sites.

 

[dity]

The mental gymnastics to try to make stuff like this seem okay is astonishing. It is lying, pure and simple. It is very well known that men care about looks in the way that women care about income and status. Trying to distort the truth of either is lying and wrong.

So a woman takes a nice photo, she must be a liar? Do you show up at the first date and tell that woman you used her phone number to look her up on Facebook and creeped on her? I bet you wouldn't.

They're nice photos of themself. It's not like they're using photos of other people. My goodness.

 

[SuperBanana]

The fact that you keep using the word deceptive which i do believe implies intent to deceive makes it sound somewhat paranoid, as there's plenty of people who simply use a photo they like. No ill intent.

I wouldn't call anyone paranoid, though. Much more, naive, as the fact that people's online profiles always are an idealized version of themselves is such a commonly known and widely accepted fact.

I don't mean people who use idealized version of themselves. I mean people who flat out lie. You can have a professional photoshoot photo done up with make up, lavish clothes, and photoshopped to hell. I'd still call that honest. Using photos that don't represent you in the slightest IS tricking people.

You claim that a woman is probably looking to trick you or be more deceptive if they don't 100% look like their provided photo. In what world is that not paranoia? I mean, you think they're lying to you.

I said people, not women. This isn't a gender this. Women bullshit, men bullshit. And yes, they do that. There are tons of people who come across that and anyone who regular does online dating, man or woman, comes across bullshitters who know they're lying or tricking people with photos or details on their profile. How do you not get the difference between "nice photo" and "radically different to how they actually look"? It's not a new concept or even exclusive to people. Real Estate agents do it to make run down houses look like new mansions or jewelers make diamond look huge when they're tiny in person.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I'm really iffy about a girl I met on tinder. Her tinder pics aren't really flattering except for a couple of pics. Now her FB pics are A LOT better. Going to possibly see her next week. I guess worse case scenario I'll have fun.

 

[depths20XX]

So a woman takes a nice photo, she must be a liar? Do you show up at the first date and tell that woman you used her phone number to look her up on Facebook and creeped on her? I bet you wouldn't.

They're nice photos of themself. It's not like they're using photos of other people. My goodness.

You're really making a big deal out of that one. A lot of men and women into online dating admit to at least Googling the person they're about to go out with. I don't think it's that creepy, just curiosity.

 

[GrotesqueBeauty]

But it's not lying about your income, job, or whatever. It's just what that person considered the photo they were uploading to look nice. A woman that is slightly bigger than in the photo provided is not a ferrari. I don't consider them taking a pretty pose to be any different to renting a suit and getting a haircut for a photo. After all, they're just "making the truth look more attractice and promoting [their] best qualities".

Honestly, you guys post like this and just ooze paranoia and you wonder why you're still single.

Going to have to call bullshit on this one. There's picking a flattering shot and there is flat out misrepresentation. You can't just write off physical appearance when it comes to relationship, because if there's no chemistry it isn't going to work. That doesn't mean looks are everything, but insofar as someone chooses to represent themselves in the context of a dating site it's shitty to knowingly paint a false picture.

Everyone is going to try and put themselves in a good context, laughing, having fun, being outdoorsy, etc., but that's not the same as triangulating the one possible view you don't appear unhealthily overweight from. My hairline isn't where it used to be, but I don't wear a wig for pictures or strategically position the top of my head behind objects for photos. It affects both parties involved. No one wins if they go on a date, and one person is dumbstruck with disapointment and the other feels insecure and harshly judged because they didn't live up to some cobbled together projection.

Besides, it's a bad sign if things start out with deception in general. Not a great way to lay a foundation for communication and understanding, i.e. relationship. While you can't wear your life on your sleeve when you're fishing around because it's too self involved or needy and intense, you can choose what to put out out there or not artfully without pulling a fast one.

 

[Fliesen]

I don't mean people who use idealized version of themselves. I mean people who flat out lie. You can have a professional photoshoot photo done up with make up, lavish clothes, and photoshopped to hell. I'd still call that honest. Using photos that don't represent you in the slightest IS tricking people.
.

in the slightest?

Are those people using pictures of Angelina Jolie?

Or are they using pictures of when ONE of their attributes - their bodyweight - differed from what it currently is.

Again, it's just weight. Not lack of limbs, nor a hidden penis. Just weight. Let's not get carried away, shall we?

 

[kraspkibble]

been single ~5 years now. my last relationship was just a mess and i needed a long break. only recently have i really started thinking about finding someone else but anyone i know is already with someone. maybe i just ain't looking in the right places. i'm honestly not gonna worry about it because i like being myself so it's not a huge deal. i don't wait kids either so not looking to settle down any time soon. i'm still young so got plenty of time to meet someone.

 

[dity]

I said people, not women. This isn't a gender this. Women bullshit, men bullshit. And yes, they do that. There are tons of people who come across that and anyone who regular does online dating, man or woman, comes across bullshitters who know they're lying or tricking people with photos or details on their profile. How do you not get the difference between "nice photo" and "radically different to how they actually look"?

Oh yes this is totally not a gendered conversation, that is totally why a woman is lying if she poses in a way she finds pretty but a man is just making the truth look better if he gets a suit and hair cut for his dating photo. Is he going to show up to the date in that damn suit and make sure his hair is cut before the date?

Posing nice (the "fat girl pose") is not using fake photos or talking yourself up in a profile description. It's literally just a photo the girl found to be nice, and then you go on a date and you assume they're bloody Dr. Eggman.

Going to have to call bullshit on this one. There's picking a flattering shot and there is flat out misrepresentation. You can't just write off physical appearance when it comes to relationship, because if there's no chemistry it isn't going to work. That doesn't mean looks are everything, but insofar as someone chooses to represent themselves in the context of a dating site it's shitty to knowingly paint a false picture.

Everyone is going to try and put themselves in a good context, laughing, having fun, being outdoorsy, etc., but that's not the same as triangulating the one possible view you don't appear unhealthily overweight from. My hairline isn't where it used to be, but I don't wear a wig for pictures or strategically position the top of my head behind objects for photos. It affects both parties involved. No one wins if they go on a date, and one person is dumbstruck with disapointment and the other feels insecure and harshly judged because they didn't live up to some cobbled together projection.

Besides, it's a bad sign if things start out with deception in general. Not a great way to lay a foundation for communication and understanding, i.e. relationship. While you can't wear your life on your sleeve when you're fishing around because it's too self involved or needy and intense, you can choose what to put out out there or not artfully without pulling a fast one.

Want to know what the real problem is? When you show up to a date and if they don't look exactly the same you start panicking and thinking they're up to something bad.

You people can go on about "blah blah deception" but it's obvious you have massive paranoia problems. So what if they don't look exactly the same. Were you only bloody going on the date because of how they looked?

 

[Assanova]

So a woman takes a nice photo, she must be a liar? Do you show up at the first date and tell that woman you used her phone number to look her up on Facebook and creeped on her? I bet you wouldn't.

They're nice photos of themself. It's not like they're using photos of other people. My goodness.

A nice photo is when you take a photo in good clothes, in good lighting, or in a good setting. Intentionally cutting out most of your body or using photo editing software to try to change or manipulate the truth, is lying.

And looking up someone's Facebook for real pictures before meeting them is fair game. The way I feel is that if you put it on your dating profile, then it's fair game to make sure that it is true, especially if the person has knowingly made said information public.

 

[Greddleok]

yeah, i think, in a way, you kinda do. I don't think we can put stuff like homo / hetero / bi / a sexuality on an equal level as "no fat chicks, thank you".

Ok, that was insensitive. It wasn't supposed to be comparing them, just comparing my attraction to them. I apologise if I offended anyone.

The latter is an entirely cultural construct. What is "desirable" / beautiful constantly changes throughout history and nothing that's rooted within a person, but is defined by culture / society.

While I'd argue that it's not, why does it matter if it is? If something is so culturally ingrained that I find a body type unattractive, why does it matter? I can't just change my mind on who I find attractive, no matter where that is derived from.

Again, claiming it's "wasting people's time" if people use pictures of their idealized selves, especially when it's in regards to weight, which is quite trivial to get rid of (given a supporting partner *cough cough*).

Eh, that's not true. 90% of people who lose significant amounts of weight put it back on within a year or 2. Plenty of data to back that up.

 

[Fliesen]

Ok, that was insensitive. It wasn't supposed to be comparing them, just comparing my attraction to them. I apologise if I offended anyone.

Don't think you offended anyone, i just thought i'd prevent we go down this slippery slope of where we equate one thing to another, when they are similar in outcome ('nah that ain't my thing') yet quite different in origin.
Don't worry

While I'd argue that it's not, why does it matter if it is? If something is so culturally ingrained that I find a body type unattractive, why does it matter? I can't just change my mind on who I find attractive, no matter where that is derived from.

well, then i'd ask you why you'd be willing to adapt your taste to what culture / media tells you is desirable - like, rather huge tits in the 90s, flatter skinnier chicks in the 2000s and onward - but not for the actual people who'd like to get to know you.

 

[Gonzalez]

It's a way to take a picture that disguises your fat body. If you then go out on a date with this girl, you then see her fat body and have to choose between walking away before she notices, or spending a couple of hours talking to someone you're not interested in at all.

Because I have a conscience, I end up dating them, and then explaining after that we weren't a good fit. Just fucks me off because I only have so much free time, I don't want to spend it with someone I have zero attraction to.

Sounds like the Zack Morris maneuver to me.

 

[hollomat]

Christ, according to most of the people here, you're an asshole unless you marry a fat girl OP.

If you show up to a date and someone looks extremely different from their profile pic, that isn't picking a flattering profile pic, that's picking an intentionally deceiving profile pic. Also if he's not attracted to far girls, he's not attracted to fat girls. Intentionally deceiving him with a profile pic is just wasting his time and theirs.

 

[SuperBanana]

Oh yes this is totally not a gendered conversation, that is totally why a woman is lying if she poses in a way she finds pretty but a man is just making the truth look better if he gets a suit and hair cut for his dating photo. Is he going to show up to the date in that damn suit and make sure his hair is cut before the date?

Posing nice (the "fat girl pose") is not using fake photos or talking yourself up in a profile description. It's literally just a photo the girl found to be nice, and then you go on a date and you assume they're bloody Dr. Eggman.

Wow, you're just glossing over everything and cherry picking words now. You're the one making it a gender issue. How many times do I have to say I'm not talking about "nice photos"? Jesus christ. A woman can have a professional photoshoot done and it's still fine. I'm not talking about those photos. You just ignore that and push you own made up agenda here. I never said it was only women, infact I've said like 3 times it's a thing both men and women do. So if a guy posts a photo of his 6 pack then shows up with a flabby gut and says that photo was 3 years old but he thought he looked nicer back then, that's ok with you? Or if he was balding and used a photo pre-baldness?

I'll use my example of once I met a girl on okc that was at least 50-60lbs heavier and looked so different to her photos I didn't even notice her until she said hello. I made a post about that on a dating forum and everyone, women and men, commented saying that those things happen.

in the slightest?

Are those people using pictures of Angelina Jolie?

Or are they using pictures of when ONE of their attributes - their bodyweight - differed from what it currently is.

Again, it's just weight. Not lack of limbs, nor a hidden penis. Just weight. Let's not get carried away, shall we?

I honestly don't care about a persons weight. I've dated tiny petite, curvy, and overweight women. I like it all. It's when you think someone looks like A and they look like B is when it rubs me the wrong way. Same goes for anything else about a person. Be honest about yourself to yourself and to others.

 

[GrotesqueBeauty]

Want to know what the real problem is? When you show up to a date and if they don't look exactly the same you start panicking and thinking they're up to something bad.

You people can go on about "blah blah deception" but it's obvious you have massive paranoia problems. So what if they don't look exactly the same. Were you only bloody going on the date because of how they looked?

Actually, you sound paranoid. I have no problems dating and I have been with a variety of different types of women. All of them were decent enough to be upfront about who they were, physically and intellectually. I wouldn't have dated them otherwise. And "only looks matter" is such a stupid straw man I don't even know where to begin. Yeah, looks matter, and so does honestly. In fact, it's a combination of factors which defines attraction. It's not some social injustice to want to know how someone looks if you're looking to get romantically involved. It's pretty normal as a matter of fact.

I'm very interested to hear more about your dating life though, based on your weirdly defensive posturing in this thread...

 

[dity]

I'm gonna close outta this thread and just say, to the people here fluttering around about "deception" and "lying" thanks to a "fat girl pose" who also do things like going behind someone's back and creeping on their social profiles before going on a date: It's very god damn obvious why you're single. I don't care if everyone on dating sites checks up on people beforehand or is ansy about someone looking 100% accurate to their IRL appearance. Why? That's probably why they're single! Why the heck would you look to other single people for reassurance on your dating behaviours and ideas? They're single.

Actually, you sound paranoid. I have no problems dating and I have been with a variety of different types of women. All of them were decent enough to be upfront about who they were, physically and intellectually. I wouldn't have dated them otherwise.

I'm very interested to hear more about your dating life though, based on your weirdly defensive posturing in this thread...

Sorry to say this, but I've been in a long term relationship coming up on 5 years now. We met IRL.

 

[Fliesen]

Christ, according to most of the people here, you're an asshole unless you marry a fat girl OP.

If you show up to a date and someone looks extremely different from their profile pic, that isn't picking a flattering profile pic, that's picking an intentionally deceiving profile pic. Also if he's not attracted to far girls, he's not attracted to fat girls. Intentionally deceiving him with a profile pic is just wasting his time and theirs.

Well, nope.
According to some people in this thread, superficiality is simply not a beneficial trait to have and even if you do, calling out others for wilfully deceiving you and literally stealing your precious time is kinda a dick move.

I'm gonna close outta this thread and just say, to the people here fluttering around about "deception" and "lying" thanks to a "fat girl pose" who also do things like going behind someone's back and creeping on their social profiles before going on a date: It's very god damn obvious why you're single. I don't care if everyone on dating sites checks up on people beforehand or is ansy about someone looking 100% accurate to their IRL appearance. Why? That's probably why they're single! Why the heck would you look to other single people for reassurance on your dating behaviours and ideas? They're single.

yeah, same here. i think there's not really anything to do here other than argue "it's deceptive" vs. "it's not". Not like the thread had great prospects to begin with
And after all, the biggest "loser" when it comes to superficiality is simply the person who wilfully cuts down their options, so it's not like there's any "converting" to be done.

OP, sincerely, best of luck with your dating life. Maybe open up a bit more - i'm sure you wouldn't regret it.

To answer the thread: there's plenty of single people. My best friend's been single for like 10 years now. And he's incredibly superficial.

 

[Assanova]

I'm gonna close outta this thread and just say, to the people here fluttering around about "deception" and "lying" thanks to a "fat girl pose" who also do things like going behind someone's back and creeping on their social profiles before going on a date: It's very god damn obvious why you're single. I don't care if everyone on dating sites checks up on people beforehand or is ansy about someone looking 100% accurate to their IRL appearance. Why? That's probably why they're single! Why the heck would you look to other single people for reassurance on your dating behaviours and ideas? They're single.

Except I'm not single. Whoops.

 

[dity]

Except I'm not single. Whoops.

Was it directed specifically at you?

 

[BananasWithGuns]

Her name's Yeta, she's eastern European.

 

[Goro Majima]

I did loads of online dating and overall the women look better in person than in photos. Never really had it go the other way. My current live in girlfriend I met on Match.com. The serious girlfriend before that I met on tinder of all things. For perspective I'm 34 and divorced but I live in Houston so the options are pretty large.

Also, there are loads of single people out there but once you're out of college it's just not as obvious. Although I honestly felt like there were zero single people in college as well.

Try activity clubs (like a social bowling league), church, and bars to find the single people if online dating isn't your thing.

 

[GrotesqueBeauty]

Sorry to say this, but I've been in a long term relationship coming up on 5 years now. We met IRL.

And did your partner misrepresent themselves when you met?

 

[Greddleok]

well, then i'd ask you why you'd be willing to adapt your taste to what culture / media tells you is desirable - like, rather huge tits in the 90s, flatter skinnier chicks in the 2000s and onward - but not for the actual people who'd like to get to know you.

I don't think I have, I was just making a hypothetical point.

I've always had a "type" - generally central/eastern Europeans. Usually tall (often taller than me), they are also usually quite thin. Every girl I've been out with for longer than a month has been central/eastern European, while relationships with British women fizzle out rather quickly.

 

[Azuran]

I thought this was going to be a joke thread at first when I read the thread title. Isn't the answer obvious seeing you're on NeoGAF?