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[danowat]

can you explain further? i understand there are metabolic disorders such as thyroid issues but thars certainly not the majority. Inactivity and poor diet are the leading causes of obesity...and heart disease...and diabetes.

There are a lot of psychological issues attached to it, as well as physiological issues.

The nuts and bolts of weight management are easy, but the implementation of them, for many, isn't.

I'm not a "fat enabler", but I've been there, and I know the struggle, it's a constant daily battle for me, so I am a bit more empathetic than others.

People of weight feel pretty useless a lot of the time, and the way physical attraction is perpetrated just compounds this, many people just feel worthless because they aren't like the models on magazine covers, and it's a cyclic problem.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

I know, if anything the fat chicks are the ones that are easiest to grasp..

damn dawg.

 

[Visceir]

There are a lot of psychological issues attached to it, as well as physiological issues.

The nuts and bolts of weight management are easy, but the implementation of them, for many, isn't.

I'm not a "fat enabler", but I've been there, and I know the struggle, it's a constant daily battle for me, so I am a bit more empathetic than others.

People of weight feel pretty useless a lot of the time, and the way physical attraction is perpetrated just compounds this, many people just feel worthless because they aren't like the models on magazine covers, and it's a cyclic problem.

You summed up quite well why one might not be into someone who is overweight, other than the whole physical attraction aspect.

Most overweight people tend to be seriously insecure too and insecurity isn't exactly attractive either. Dunno why you'd want to put up with all of that when you could just be with someone who is fit and takes care of themselves.

 

[Fliesen]

I have never experienced developing sexual attraction to someone, when it wasn't already there. I have no problem with you calling me superficial, just as long as you understand that I can't really help the superficialness. I like what I like, it's pretty much instinctual.

Eh, not so sure. It sounds like a rather poor excuse to me.

As a matter of fact, liking fat chicks would be the instinctual thing to do.

You don't "lower" your standards because you don't want to, not because you can't.
You know it's true

 

[TheApatheticOne]

I'm single and I prefer it that way. I could be dating a girl right now that wants to but I just don't feel it.

I'm weird. I will crave a relationship but as soon as I get close, all I wanna do is be by myself.

Im 35, got divorced a few years ago, and since then... this, exactly this. I've been in two relationships this year and ended both. One was for 5 months. Then, just even starting to think about dating again... I just don't have the will. Online dating in Cincy is awful at 35. Everyone seems to have at least one kid, if not four or five, with their best days far behind them. The one girl, who since my wife is the only girl I've fallen for and WAS a good friend, I had hopes for turned out to be someone I didn't expect. Turns out wasn't that great of a friend. So, that soured me a good deal.

I swear I'm not picky. When I say out loud "all I want is a girl who is mostly happy, fun to be around (has a wit, maybe even a dirty one), likes/tolerates sports and/or video games, and maybe likes similar music and tv shows.", it doesn't seem as absolutely impossible as it absolutely is.

 

[Jimrpg]

BMI is almost entirely genetic. Well, relative BMI is.



I have never experienced developing sexual attraction to someone, when it wasn't already there. I have no problem with you calling me superficial, just as long as you understand that I can't really help the superficialness. I like what I like, it's pretty much instinctual.

If you find someone attractive - just go say hello, at socially acceptable places like a party. It's a bit creepy to go round and ask everyone for their numbers at cafes and libraries and things. if you don't have parties to go to, join a group or a club that have weekly meetings and take it from there. The group/club may not necessarily have what you are looking for but you can follow leads that might lead to something else. Don't just check it out for a couple of minutes and throw in the towel cause they aren't attractive enough. That person might know someone who knows someone else etc.

 

[Jimrpg]

Im 35, got divorced a few years ago, and since then... this, exactly this. I've been in two relationships this year and ended both. One was for 5 months. Then, just even starting to think about dating again... I just don't have the will. Online dating in Cincy is awful at 35. Everyone seems to have at least one kid, if not four or five, with their best days far behind them. The one girl, who since my wife is the only girl I've fallen for and WAS a good friend, I had hopes for turned out to be someone I didn't expect. Turns out wasn't that great of a friend. So, that soured me a good deal.

I swear I'm not picky. When I say out loud "all I want is a girl who is mostly happy, fun to be around (has a wit, maybe even a dirty one), likes/tolerates sports and/or video games, and maybe likes similar music and tv shows.", it doesn't seem as absolutely impossible as it absolutely is.

Why don't you date someone younger who doesn't have a kid?

 

[Fliesen]

If you find someone attractive - just go say hello, at socially acceptable places like a party. It's a bit creepy to go round and ask everyone for their numbers at cafes and libraries and things. if you don't have parties to go to, join a group or a club that have weekly meetings and take it from there. The group/club may not necessarily have what you are looking for but you can follow leads that might lead to something else. Don't just check it out for a couple of minutes and throw in the towel cause they aren't attractive enough. That person might know someone who knows someone else etc.

"Do you have a hot sister, by any chance?!"

 

[danowat]

You summed up quite well why one might not be into someone who is overweight, other than the whole physical attraction aspect.

Most overweight people tend to be seriously insecure too and insecurity isn't exactly attractive either. Dunno why you'd want to put up with all of that when you could just be with someone who is fit and takes care of themselves.

I hear ya, but the point still stands that you can't determine someones personality or mental state from just their physical appearance.

Physically attraction can be a red herring, lots of times I've been physically attracted to someone only for that to change once I get to know them, and vice versa.

 

[G.ZZZ]

Do you think every thread needs to be what you think the title suggests? You're paranoid. I'm sorry it's not a Ferrari with a trunk full of money. Bananafana moon pie Illuminati super Sayain cheese bunkers teardrop fabled gerbil barcalounger. You guys are crazy and don't understand. Peace out, jerkwads!

DEAD

 

[TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never had consensual sex, never kissed a girl, so yes, there are single people around.

 

[Your Entertainer]

coworker (female, 24) has the same problem, even though she is quite the looker and a nice person to have around (at least at work)

Spoiler

inb4 op wants her phone number, i dont have it

Ha. I know a girl like that. Hot, smart, interesting and super successful. Literally all she talks about is wanting a bf. Very late 20s. There are lots of single guys around her who she just ignores.

 

[danowat]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never had consensual sex, never kissed a girl, so yes, there are single people around.

:-O why the need for the clarification on consensual!

 

[Visceir]

I hear ya, but the point still stands that you can't determine someones personality or mental state from just their physical appearance.

Physically attraction can be a red herring, lots of times I've been physically attracted to someone only for that to change once I get to know them, and vice versa.

All those things you listed in the previous post are what I consider part of someone's personality. You not being able to handle your weight or not doing anything about it reflects what your personality is like.

Ultimately you'd want to be with someone who is physically attractive to you AND with a great personality. Might as well start weeding out the ones who you're physically not attracted to.

People downplaying physical attraction in this thread are seriously weird. It matters, it matters a lot.

 

[Shredderi]

which begs the question - would you consider it a duty of yours to at least post a picture that allows for implications of your height?
like, standing next to a standard sized car, standing next to a regular sized girl?

Would you disagree with people calling you "deceptive" or "a liar leading others on" for not explicitly stating you're only 5'4 ?

Sorry for the delayed answer. I've been lead to believe that height is something that is listed on one's profile and can then be filtered out when searching for potential dates. So yes I would explicitly state my true height (5ft 8inch) because I know that a lot of women find that unappealing. I guess I would find it a lot worse to not state it and immediately disappoint my date than just get messages from women who honestly wouldn't mind. I wouldn't try to conceal any of that so that people not into my bodytype would actually contact me. Since my height is under average, as in not the norm I would feel that calling me deceptive for not disclosing it is correct. I mean the only reason I wouldn't disclose it in the first place is because I know it affects how many women find me attractive, right? But they would see the truth anyway when we'd go on a date so it feels pointless to not just include it in my profile (if I ever made one). If I made a profile what you'd see is what you'd get because that's how I'd want other people on the site to conduct themselves.

If disclosing my height or weight lead to me not getting any dates I would feel sad about it of course.

 

[JetBlackPanda]

This thread reads like a nightmare. Married 11 years I'm 32. There is no way I'm screwing this marriage up.

 

[danowat]

All those things you listed in the previous post are what I consider part of someone's personality. You not being able to handle your weight or not doing anything about it reflects what your personality is like.

Ultimately you'd want to be with someone who is physically attractive to you AND with a great personality. Might as well start weeding out the ones who you're physically not attracted to.

People downplaying physical attraction in this thread are seriously weird. It matters, it matters a lot.

But like I said earlier, 8 years ago I was 24 stone, and I am now 13 stone, I am obviously more "attractive" now, despite being the same person.

Only downplaying it because it's only part of the love thang.

 

[Shuggananas]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never had consensual sex, never kissed a girl, so yes, there are single people around.

:-O why the need for the clarification on consensual!

Not the first time he's doing that

 

[TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared]

:-O why the need for the clarification on consensual!

Cos I consider myself a virgin since I've never had sex by choice, even though I'm not. For my clarification really.

 

[danowat]

Cos I consider myself a virgin since I've never had sex by choice, even though I'm not. For my clarification really.

Yeah.........I think I'll leave it there.........

 

[G.ZZZ]

I think generally that's the 'code'.



My worst fear is people staring at me or God forbid, approach me, at the gym.
I go to the gym to work out and be in my own space, do my own thing. It's not a social environment and I don't see it as one. If someone approaches me to correct me, because I'm doing something wrong, that's okay, it is appropriate and that's as far as it goes. Anything beyond that and I will literally quit that gym and never go again. I know it's pretty dramatic, but I mean it. At the gym, I'm in my shitty clothes, no make up on, no hairstyle, pretty much at my worst possible state, not giving a shit how much I'm sweating and how filthy I look. Being conscious that someone's 'checking me out' at a place like that is like... super creepy. I just don't want people to look at me when I'm doing my thing. Maybe it's time I invest in gym equipment for home.... ._.

Holy fucking shit. Yeah, it's definitely time you invest in gym equipment for home.

 

[BravesCountry]

When I was back to being single I felt this way as well, but the trick is that it will take time to build up that network of single women to reach out to and get your game back to an acceptable level. The first couple months were a real struggle but hop on dating apps, go out with friends, etc. and you basically build a network of people you can reach out to over time and if you are working on yourself while doing this (working out, also better pictures for online dating is so crucial, I can attest) it only gets better. Then you'll meet someone you like a lot but you know there are other great options out there, so you'll be worried to commit and won't commit unless it's someone really special.

 

[Majima Everywhere System]

There are a lot of psychological issues attached to it, as well as physiological issues.

The nuts and bolts of weight management are easy, but the implementation of them, for many, isn't.

I'm not a "fat enabler", but I've been there, and I know the struggle, it's a constant daily battle for me, so I am a bit more empathetic than others.

People of weight feel pretty useless a lot of the time, and the way physical attraction is perpetrated just compounds this, many people just feel worthless because they aren't like the models on magazine covers, and it's a cyclic problem.

"people of weight"

Did you coin this, or has it been out there? It's good.

 

[G.ZZZ]

Let's say i'm Tom cruise, i used this picture.
It shows me, full body.

Did i deceive anyone for not posting a picture where you can see that i'm actually a rather short dude?


Let's say i'm Allison Tolman


Did i deceive anyone for using a more flattering picture (above) and not the one below?


And no, Allison Tolman is of course not "fat" but i'm positive that there's people around (maybe even in this thread) who wouldn't be interested in her for the fact that she's not clasically skinny, to begin with.

Not everyone is american dude. My fault i live in a country of skinny people?

 

[Lothar]

"People of weight" Hahaha.

 

[Shredderi]

People of weight. Love it.

 

[danowat]

Was just trying to think of a better way of saying "fat people" looks like I failed.

 

[Shredderi]

Was just trying to think of a better way of saying "fat people" looks like I failed.

As a fat guy I just found the term genuinely funny

 

[p_xavier]

Been single for the last 11 years. I'm now that crazy cat person.

 

[TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared]

Would you be single, or in a loveless relationship for the sake of being in a relationship? Simple innit.

 

[Spinluck]

Were you only bloody going on the date because of how they looked?

Well, I mean, yeah lol.

Online dating isn't some platform for people to be masking insecurities on, it's actually quite shallow, and unattractive people have the worst luck.

So in short I'd say looks matter a lot, and a lot of people go on their dates because they were attracted to the other person's pics.

 

[Mifec]

Man the memes are out of control in this thread.

Not being physically attracted to overweight people does not make one superficial, not being into people of certain skin color/race does not make you a racist. Seriously guy who said the racist line, please don't talk like that in public, you're gonna embarrass yourself and your partner.

It also doesn't mean you were manipulated by media and social norms to only like skinny/rich/smart/tall whatever people.

People like and react differently and are attracted to different things on their own, there doesn't have to be any outside interference, people are nuanced.

The idea that we should be attracted to each and every bodytype/race/size is absurd and anyone who thinks like that is out of touch.

 

[damisa]

I would love to see some of the photos of you guys who don't find fat girls attractive. I'm willing to bet none of you are perfect 10s either.

I don't see how this matters. People have the right to be attracted to whoever they want, even if it's only to people "out of their league".

Nobody is owed attraction. Otherwise you sound like those bitter "Nice Guys"

 

[daveo42]

Let's say i'm Tom cruise, i used this picture.
It shows me, full body.

Did i deceive anyone for not posting a picture where you can see that i'm actually a rather short dude?


Let's say i'm Allison Tolman


Did i deceive anyone for using a more flattering picture (above) and not the one below?


And no, Allison Tolman is of course not "fat" but i'm positive that there's people around (maybe even in this thread) who wouldn't be interested in her for the fact that she's not clasically skinny, to begin with.

I'd date you.

Do you know why fat chicks give better head?

Spoiler

because they have to

I legit lol'd

Spoiler

because it's true

 

[Strictly]

I should have known from the title, but man this got creepy quick.

Fat-haters, pics pls. Let's see if there's a pose.

Is there ever a more misused word than "creepy"?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Do you know why fat chicks give better head?

Spoiler

because they have to

This isn't a universal truth.

 

[draetenth]

I'm single, I prefer to be alone so I've never even tried to look for someone. I can't say that the thought has even crossed my mind.

 

[dralla]

Is there ever a more misused word than "creepy"?

Not on GAF, no.

Just to chip in here with some online dating fake picture stories. I girl I met earlier this year was about 100 pounds heavier than her pictures. She apparently had surgery and was on bed rest during recovery and gained a bunch of weight. But she never updated her pictures.

Another one also showed up quite a bit heavier than her pictures. She tells me she's gained weight recently but she's now on a diet losing that weight. She tells me this as she's eating pizza and drinking beer.

When you're trying to meet someone for the first time and potentially date them, starting it off with deceiving pictures is not the way to go about it. Even if you hit it off it's still a bad look. Be upfront about the way you look

 

[Corronchilejano]

I'm surrounded by single people so I can't say I can relate OP.

All of them are younger than me though. Maybe you should hang around college campuses more?

 

[panty]

You people can go on about "blah blah deception" but it's obvious you have massive paranoia problems. So what if they don't look exactly the same. Were you only bloody going on the date because of how they looked?

What. I've been single for about a year and now I feel like dating again. I don't go to dates with girls I don't find attractive. It's simple as that. Why would I waste my time on someone who I don't find attractive?

Someone is attractive -> they have my attention -> datenight -> learn to know the person -> click or no-click.

OP I've asked the same question lately. Where are the normal chicks. I don't have tinder. I've been seeing a girl for a month now and she's the most beautiful girl I've ever "dated". I think I look decent but I still wonder how a girl of her caliber wants to spend time with me. She has never used tinder, doesn't frequent on fb or other social services and is so damn down to earth.

There are people like her but you just got to find them. I bumped into her by accident, through a friends friend.

 

[Greddleok]

I'm surrounded by single people so I can't say I can relate OP.

All of them are younger than me though. Maybe you should hang around college campuses more?

I work at a University. I can't date people I teach, that's kinda unethical. Even if I'm not teaching them directly, it jus feels kinda weird.

 

[Nealand Liquor]

What the hell is with people today who get all uppity and sanctimonious over other people not being attracted to them because they are fat?

How fucking self absorbed do you have to be to bitch, moan and argue as the moral authority on sexual preferences in order to fucking try and guilt other people to date you?

 

[Feltrol]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never had consensual sex, never kissed a girl, so yes, there are single people around.

So... the only one you have ever feared... is yourself?

 

[Xplatformer]

I wish there were more single woman in their 40s to go with this single guy.

 

[Lothar]

I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, never had consensual sex, never kissed a girl, so yes, there are single people around.

When you're 22, yeah. 22 year olds are just kids.

When you're in your 30s, there doesn't seem to be many single people.

 

[KaoticBlaze]

I recently broke up with my partner, after a few years, and I've been trying to get back into dating.
However, it turns out that literally everyone I speak to is in a relationship, or married. TV has lied to me. There aren't a bunch of single twenty-thirty somethings. They're all content in relationships.

I've had to resort to online dating, my god, it's awful. It took me 3 dates to figure out the "fat girl pose." Seriously people, post honest images, you're just wasting everyone's time if you don't.

I've been single for about a year, while i do love my alone time, I also get lonely and hate seeing other couples having a good time LOL. I've tried all those stupid online dating apps too and its always just a bunch of fake profiles and the deceiving poses in pictures that you speak of. I am pretty much a homebody so my chances of meeting someone out in town is pretty slim. I attend college and have tried talking to several females I've found attractive but alas they are always taken. So I've pretty much given up the search at this point. Fuck it, that's life.

 

[Ignatz Mouse]

I've never understood the importance for some people on physical attraction. It's a component, but for some people it seems like the main component. The only person I know who puts that much importance on it in real life is unhappily divorced and can't seem to maintain a long-term relationship (and perhaps has given up on the idea). He's wealthy though, so he can manage that.

Also curious as to how fat is "fat" for the OP. Is somebody 20 pounds overweight no longer attractive?

 

[Evilkazz]

My question is what are the realistic chances you'll find your type online?

By that I mean someone you're into of a race you'd prefer, closer body type, and a capable person? Not to sound too picky. Actually fuck it, I am kind of picky. I'm 22 and have only been in a relationship for 4 months, and even that was because my prom date really liked me. I understand that being single for this long of a time is entirely my own fault, and I'm fine waiting longer if necessary. Dating isn't that big a necessity for me and I'm a guy more focused on future plans than the current time.

I guess what I'm asking is, do people find what they're looking for more often on dating sites or in the wild? I suppose that depends on area and such but still. How many here have found the partner they had more or less envisioned they'd be with and did you find them through dating services?

 

[mugurumakensei]

At first, I thought the title was some existential question. I leave disappointed. I'm also not on the market anymore. I'm with the most beautiful girl in the world now.

 

[BossDarkseid]

I am *cries* not bothered by it though. Not to say i want to stay single forever, bachelor life wouldnt suit me,