Support NeoGAF

[Markoman]

I think happiness is a flawed concept. I believe that all the smart Buddhist guys actually meant "contentment" when they talking about zen.

Haven't really thought about the whole "fake" thing since my teens, but yes, the world is full of fake for sure.

My theory: most people are stuck somewhere between/outside of happiness and contentment and faking it is a way of dealing with this situation. Their idea of happiness is solely based on pragmatism -" x will make me happy". Also, happiness has become like some sort of social necessity where you want to be on team "happy".

 

[digdug2k]

But money doesn't buy happiness, right?

I always call bullshit on that statement. If I were rich or won a 300 million dollar lotto tomorrow my happiness would go from 10% to 200% overnight. Everything I currently worry about and stress over is due to money. All my issues would literally disappear if I were rich.

Have a nice home paid off
Have a nice car paid off
Never have to work and can do whatever the fuck I want
Buy whatever clothes you want
Eat great food whenever
Date hotter women
Travel the world
Never have to worry about healthcare or retirement plans
If you or a loved one gets sick you have the funds to get the best doctors in the world

How the fuck could you not be happy?

You know what's funny, you'd travel the world and in a bunch of third world countries you'd find shitloads of people who will never have .001% of what you've got who are 10,000 times happier than you'll ever be. You don't need to be rich to see that though. Just travel a bit. Anywhere. Literally anywhere I think. Speaking as an American who lives abroad, Americans are the most miserable people on the world I think.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I was this way until I nailed my first sick fidget spinner trick.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Everyone's got a set amount of unhappiness they have to feel before they die. Doesn't matter what situation they're in, rich or poor. What you're feeling is normal.

You know what's funny, you'd travel the world and in a bunch of third world countries you'd find shitloads of people who will never have .001% of what you've got who are 10,000 times happier than you'll ever be. You don't need to be rich to see that though. Just travel a bit. Anywhere. Literally anywhere I think. Speaking as an American who lives abroad, Americans are the most miserable people on the world I think.

Now I feel like we should step up on helping the developing world reach our standard of living, if only so that we can make them as miserable as we are.

 

[Apt101]

It seems like most people do this. One has a public and private face, and often something in-between the two that they put on for those they are most close to. Only one ex and my best friend know the real me. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything or being inauthentic - it's just part of the human experience while dealing with others. Of course I'm not going be completely open with people I work with, friends I only consider acquaintances, etc.

Catch me on a Sunday alone though, drinking a beer and acting a fool on some online game when acting a fool should not be something a man of my age should be up to. Or wasting an afternoon shooting guns at the local range when I'm actually a big supporter of gun reform (one of my guilty pleasures).

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Sounds like you've managed to structure your life so there is little chance of failure, by modulating your ambition sufficiently. With no chance of failure, you can't be embarrassed or humiliated/bullied. But there is also no thrill or passion. Start small, force yourself to go to a museum. Then spend a week not cooking any dishes you know how to cook for dinner. Discover a hiking trail nearby, join a trail running club. Go to a concert that won't be well attended. Buy a bicycle and spend a weekend day getting lost in your town riding on weird backstreets. Stop at a cafe you've never been to for lunch. Keep a diary.

Eventually, fail at something spectacularly, and realize that's okay.

I feel like you describe my life, except that I would say I already failed at something spectacularly (university) and it's made all my time in further education a waste of time and I'm going to be paying off the debt for another decade or two at least. So, it's not okay to fail?

 

[B_Spooky13]

I get how you feel OP.

Most of my answers to questions or statements is just "okay"

How are you?
Wanna hang out?
I don't think we should see each other anymore.
Wanna pick up a extra shift?

I'm just stuck in neutral. I go to work.. I work hard.. I come home, shower and its Netflix or games til bed. I don't care if I see anyone.. I don't care if I hang out. Honestly I just want to be left alone. I don't like people and I only have a couple close friends. The only thing I truly got excited for this month was the internet getting turned on at my new place. I wasn't even excited about getting the place.

The one thing that does worry me is that I don't want to turn out to be a 50 year old alone in his small apartment with no one

 

[Newline]

I like this, a lot.

This might spark your interest too then.

 

[Turin]

Sure, I don't want to bum people out. Not very good at it though.

I'm only faking
when I get it right

RIP

With a hot tub. And swimming pool.

And a silver tooth brush.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Then why do you have a relatively high suicide rate/depression among the rich folks?

Money doesn't buy you happiness at all.

That said, you really have to distinguish between short term happiness and long terms happiness. Money only buys you first (woa, new car and shit, amazing) but that fades and you'll just end up casing something else after it (ok, new car is great but what can I buy next?). It does not give you true happiness. Like say, you just take a walk in the woods and are contempt and happy with your life. That is true happiness and money alone cannot give you that.

I would only argue that you need a certain amount of money to give you enough security. Meaning, you have enough dough to pay your bills and buy food. But that ain't that much.

They're using it wrong. The biggest mistake people make when they get rich is thinking that the best part of being rich is the wealth and what it can get you. The real plus side of being rich is that you have more freedom because you don't have to do almost anything you don't want to do.

And I completely disagree with your last paragraph. I have enough to pay for bills and food and I don't like most of my life at all. I still live at home, and if I moved out I would essentially break even every month and not be saving anything for retirement. I have to go to a job I hate everyday and be surrounded by people I don't like.

As for your woods example, being rich would automatically make my life better, because instead of planning out when I could go to the woods to relax, I could do it literally whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about if I have to be at work, and I could even travel to new forests or other wilderness because my life isn't bogged down by a job that essentially eats up five out of every seven days.

Money doesn't solve every problem, and it can even create some new ones, but if you're rich and not considerably happier with your position in life you either have a deeper issue that needs to be taken care of (Which is easily affordable and higher quality if you're rich.) or you're using it in a way that makes your life hollow instead of more open. The value of being rich doesn't come from being able to buy things, it comes from being able to buy free time and the freedom that comes along with it. I don't think rich people approach it that way so a lot of them end up miserable.

 

[The Elite]

I am faking it on several levels at this point. It's a strain.

 

[deejay8595]

Nah. I've always been the type to wear my heart on my sleeve. You're not really living if you can't be yourself, so I figure what can I get from faking it that I can't get from just being true to myself.

It's worked out so far

I agree. I'm the same way. Own who you are basically.

 

[Oxn]

They're using it wrong. The biggest mistake people make when they get rich is thinking that the best part of being rich is the wealth and what it can get you. The real plus side of being rich is that you have more freedom because you don't have to do almost anything you don't want to do.

And I completely disagree with your last paragraph. I have enough to pay for bills and food and I don't like most of my life at all. I still live at home, and if I moved out I would essentially break even every month and not be saving anything for retirement. I have to go to a job I hate everyday and be surrounded by people I don't like.

As for your woods example, being rich would automatically make my life better, because instead of planning out when I could go to the woods to relax, I could do it literally whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about if I have to be at work, and I could even travel to new forests or other wilderness because my life isn't bogged down by a job that essentially eats up five out of every seven days.

Money doesn't solve every problem, and it can even create some new ones, but if you're rich and not considerably happier with your position in life you either have a deeper issue that needs to be taken care of (Which is easily affordable and higher quality if you're rich.) or you're using it in a way that makes your life hollow instead of more open. The value of being rich doesn't come from being able to buy things, it comes from being able to buy free time and the freedom that comes along with it. I don't think rich people approach it that way so a lot of them end up miserable.

agreed. rich people right now are doing it wrong. They also want the fame, attention, and what nots.

Money creates so much freedom that i desire.

 

[JimmyRustler]

They're using it wrong. The biggest mistake people make when they get rich is thinking that the best part of being rich is the wealth and what it can get you. The real plus side of being rich is that you have more freedom because you don't have to do almost anything you don't want to do.

And I completely disagree with your last paragraph. I have enough to pay for bills and food and I don't like most of my life at all. I still live at home, and if I moved out I would essentially break even every month and not be saving anything for retirement. I have to go to a job I hate everyday and be surrounded by people I don't like.

As for your woods example, being rich would automatically make my life better, because instead of planning out when I could go to the woods to relax, I could do it literally whenever I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about if I have to be at work, and I could even travel to new forests or other wilderness because my life isn't bogged down by a job that essentially eats up five out of every seven days.

Money doesn't solve every problem, and it can even create some new ones, but if you're rich and not considerably happier with your position in life you either have a deeper issue that needs to be taken care of (Which is easily affordable and higher quality if you're rich.) or you're using it in a way that makes your life hollow instead of more open. The value of being rich doesn't come from being able to buy things, it comes from being able to buy free time and the freedom that comes along with it. I don't think rich people approach it that way so a lot of them end up miserable.

Just keep fooling yourself bro. Happiness is a feeling and comes from inside. It has very little to do with what you have. I hope that one day you'll understand this - for your sake. Otherwise you'll keep chasing that pipe dream forever.

Also... you have a funny notion of being rich. Like once you are, you're going to stay rich forever just like that. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Just keep fooling yourself bro. Happiness is a feeling and comes from inside. It has very little to do with what you have. I hope that one day you'll understand this - for your sake. Otherwise you'll keep chasing that pipe dream forever.

Also... you have a funny notion of being rich. Like once you are, you're going to stay rich forever just like that. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Literally nothing that I said tied happiness to what you could have if you were rich. In fact that whole post was saying the exact opposite.

If you bothered reading the post you'd see that my entire point was that the value of being rich doesn't come from the money or material things you can get from it, but from the freedom that comes with it and how that opens you up to live your life the way you please. And being able to do what you want is one of the main ways people derive happiness from life. If the thing that makes you most happy is relaxing by yourself in nature, then guess what? Being rich affords you the ability to do it more often and even do it in places you'd probably never get to if you spend most of your days cooped up in a job.

And you're very naive if you think you can't make a lot of money and then live a modest life off of it until you die. Do you honestly think that the only rich people are the people who spend their whole lives working to stay rich? As long as you're not the type of asshole to blow exorbitant amounts of money on frivilous things, you could absolutely quit your job once you become rich.

 

[pelicansurf]

Yeah, I feel that way. I'm in my mid-30's, and the description someone used earlier is accurate - I am minimizing failure. I'm single, no desire for a wife and kids (I would worry too much and it would rattle my comfy world of complacency). Big decisions scare me to death, so I don't make any. I'm not depressed, nor do I even feel unhappy. I'm just kind of...sleepwalking. I have no burning passion for anything, though I dabble in most everything here and there. I get paid pretty well, do the minimum amount of work to sustain said job, and just save money living in an apartment I'm not exactly proud of, because the rent is low and the location is absolutely perfect when it comes to being near work transportation, friends and family. I go look at places all the time, but I know that's in vain - it will take the hand of God to move me out of here as rent is nearly double everywhere else I've looked. I'm faking the desire to better myself in this way, and I'm also scared to "stir the pot" by making a bad financial investment. I'm sitting on savings that I have no idea what to do with, nor any desire to do anything it.

My friendships are pretty genuine however, minus one of my close friends that I kind of have an on the surface relationship with that I believe he perceives to be deeper, but that's another story. I do have a handful of close friends that I hang out with a few times a week, and have a blast with. Their company and conversation is something I genuinely enjoy, albeit it is usually in a context I like (some dive bar playing darts/pool, or playing video games having a few beers).

My romantic life is bit of a farce. My looks are going to shit, and clearly I'm dying inside a bit, but I guess I have some appeal since I'm doing better than I ever have with women. Go figure. I'm in my ideal romantic situation at the moment- it's a pseudo-relationship that allows me to do what I want most of the time, since that's all I'm offering. There's a false sense of the possibility of developing something with substance. We both know it's going nowhere, but like each other, so we keep it going. It's all a lie, and I'm OK with it.

My past long term (i.e. meaningful) relationships had all lost their luster after a short time, so I faked interest in being there...years later, she will have caught on and wanted to end things, much to my relief. I'm not looking to repeat that. Quite frankly, I can't see myself in a full-time "meaningful" romantic relationship ever again. I can't fake that much any more.

Everyone who knows me (mostly) sees me as this happy-go-lucky guy with his shit together, but I do feel stuck in the mud about it all. I don't know what the end game is....I suppose I just feel like the mud isn't so bad.

This is basically me, 29 with some slight variations, but yeah. From romance to the apartment life, to great friends, etc.

Feels a bit weird. Not really sure what to do about it. Not sure I want to.

 

[Newline]

If you bothered reading the post you'd see that my entire point was that the value of being rich doesn't come from the money or material things you can get from it, but from the freedom that comes with it and how that opens you up to live your life the way you please. And being able to do what you want is one of the main ways people derive happiness from life. If the thing that makes you most happy is relaxing by yourself in nature, then guess what? Being rich affords you the ability to do it more often and even do it in places you'd probably never get to if you spend most pf your days cooped up in a job.

And you're very naive if you think you can't make a lot of money and then live a modest life off of it until you die. Do you honestly think that the only rich people are the people who spend their whole lives working to stay rich? As long as you're not the type of asshole to blow exorbitant amounts of money on frivilous things, you could absolutely quit your job once you become rich.

It depends what you deem the definition of rich to be. In my eyes if you have enough to provide financial security for yourself should anything drastic happen then that should be enough. That's the true freedom that money can offer. In my opinion anything beyond that moves into the category of materialism which certainly doesn't bring happiness.

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html
In my eyes, if you start chasing more possessions / experiences (those without real reason for being part of your life). after that sort of threshold, you're likely to be using external things to compensate for a lack of internal happiness. It's as absurd as thinking hiring a prostitute could bring a deep and meaningful form of happiness that extends past the immediate pleasure.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

It depends what you deem the definition of rich to be. In my eyes if you have enough to provide financial security for yourself should anything drastic happen to you or your loved ones then that should be enough. That's the true freedom that money can offer. In my opinion anything beyond that moves into the category of materialism which certainly doesn't bring happiness.

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html
In my eyes, if you start chasing more money and more material possessions or expensive experiences after that sort of threshold, you're likely to be using external things to compensate for a lack of internal happiness.

This is my exact point. I think a lot of rich people are miserable because they don't quit while they're ahead. They have more money than they know what to do with, and instead of using that money to retire early and live their lives as they please, they focus their whole life on making more money (Either because they're living such wealthy lifestyles that they HAVE to keep making money at that rate, or because they're simply greedy.), which sends them down a path of misery.

Thats why I've been saying that the value of being rich isn't in what you can get with your wealth, but in what you no longer have to do because you're wealthy. And when you no longer have to do those things, your life opens up and you're able to do what you WANT to do instead of what you HAVE to do just so you can survive in society.

 

[Adam_Vania]

all of society and civilization hinges on arbitrary systems and rulesets and norms, many of which have simply been passed down without thought from generation to generation, most of which have no real concrete reality. to some extent everyone in the world is faking it.

the concept of virtual realities is actually very old (just given a new name now) and people have lived in truth bubbles for all of civilization.

 

[Adam_Vania]

Thats why I've been saying that the value of being rich isn't in what you can get with your wealth, but in what you no longer have to do because you're wealthy. And when you no longer have to do those things, your life opens up and you're able to do what you WANT to do instead of what you HAVE to do just so you can survive in society.

lots of things you HAVE to do just to survive (what is survive? food/shelter? or consumer society-imposed "you have to own a nice car" 'surviving'?)

if what you want is more money (the goal of "being rich") you will never reach a point where this goal is reached. you can always make more money. honestly it is ridiculous that this isn't explicitly made clear with the behavior of the current US president.

 

[rgoulart]

Yeah. I mean, just put on your mask, smile when needed and live on. I don't live with my mother but everytime she asks how I'm doing in college I just say it's been fine and smile. But in truth I'm just there. I'm not committed to it in any way.

There's not a single day in my life I don't question my existence. I don't take life seriously and I feel as you do about happiness; I feel a little joy when I play a videogame that I like, or watch a movie or TV show, or read a book or even drink beer with my friends. But everything is just momentary.

I used to fight these feelings and force myself to feel differently than the way I do but nowadays I just embrace it. Nothing really matters. I can be mad as a hatter but I don't even think our existence is real. I guess that's why I don't care about anything. People come and go and we have no idea where they come from or where they go. Maybe they don't go anywhere at all.

Every link we make with other people are our own creations, like the notion of evil and good is human creation, nothing natural about that. There's no love uniting us together like some strange invisible force. It's just something created in our brains. I sure do love my mother for instance, but I know that I do because of some electrical stimulation on my brain that was made because she gave me birth and raised me.

The only thing you can ever be sure in your life is that you exist. Whether that's real or not, it doesn't matter, "I think, therefore I am". You cannot imagine your own inexistence because that's impossible. Even when you're asleep, you still exist. So I don't really think one ceases to be, even in death. I mean, you won't even know you died. In a way, we're all already dead because time is not linear, only our perception of time is.

So, yeah, other people feel the way you do. The only thing I would never suggest is for one to take his own life. I think I'm very nihilist but I would never do that. I am curious regarding death and what happens and I don't fear it, but I do believe life's worth living, even if you're just a passenger watching events unfold before you with no real power to do or change anything.

PS. Sorry, I think I went too far.

 

[Newline]

lots of things you HAVE to do just to survive (what is survive? food/shelter? or consumer society-imposed "you have to own a nice car" 'surviving'?)

if what you want is more money (the goal of "being rich") you will never reach a point where this goal is reached. you can always make more money. honestly it is ridiculous that this isn't explicitly made clear with the behavior of the current US president.

Having food, shelter, access to healthcare and a buffer in case you hit a rough patch are all things that should be deemed reasonable. A car only helps if it enables you to create more purpose in your life. I'd say if it seems like a sensible investment, it's not stupid. If it's frivolous and offers short term pleasure, it's likely stupid.

 

[Kain-Nosgoth]

Life would be easier if i faked it yeah!

i don't because i can't do it, i can't act at all

probably why it's really hard for me to find a girlfriend too, because i have a hard time being interested in what they like or what they do, and i would find it hypocrite to act like i do!
Unless i find one that is like me, which is sadly pretty rare where i live (and the ones i found are already in a relationship)

Today i'm 29, i just live the way i like , and i'm fine with that (i used to be really frustated about the girlfriend thing)! I can be myself with my two best friends and that's enough! And if i found someone, that's just a bonus to my life! Since i don't want a child, i feel like i have my whole life to find someone

 

[Zen_Arcade]

lots of things you HAVE to do just to survive (what is survive? food/shelter? or consumer society-imposed "you have to own a nice car" 'surviving'?)

if what you want is more money (the goal of "being rich") you will never reach a point where this goal is reached. you can always make more money. honestly it is ridiculous that this isn't explicitly made clear with the behavior of the current US president.

Food, shelter, and at least be able to entertain yourself. I don't give a shit about cars or anything extravagant. If I were to wake up rich tomorrow, the only expensive thing I would buy is a house for myself, which is something needed even for the poor. Outside of that I'd spend my time doing what I already do, just a lot more of it. And nothing that I do is particularly expensive. My three biggest hobbies are comics, video games, and baseball. And I do all of those things on the money I'm making now.

My goal is to never have to work again. Which is literally everyones goal to a point. It's why we have retirement. It has nothing to do with constantly running up thr numbers in my bank account. I just want to stop working earlier than I would normally get to so I can enjoy everything out there. Like I've said repeatedly, the money itself isn't the prize, its that at a certain amount, you get to leave the every day grind of society and live your life how you want.

And as long as "Living your life how you want." doesn't consist of spending a shitload of money on frivolous things you dont actually gain any happiness from, then being rich opens your world up to more opportunities to do what you want. And typically, doing what you want leads to someone being happier than the person who is forced to do something just so they know they have enough to pay the bills at the end of the month.

 

[KingSlime]

Once a week I drive down to the ocean and stand on a rock overlooking the waves. The wind pummels my face and body with an infinite supply of salty, stinging sea air, the colder the better. I spread my arms like a child pretending to fly and I close my eyes. And I am flying. Manipulating my arms and hands like sails to keep me airborne, exhilarated and assured and full of hope. I don't know where I will be, or who I will be, when I open my eyes. But it won't be this world, and it won't be me.

Is this from something? It moved me.

 

[Creepy]

You have no idea how hard I'm faking it.
being normal.
ish.

I'm a god-damn wreck, I'm fucked in the head, I'm barely getting by, I'm loaded up on pills.
I feel that I'm not going to be able to fake it much longer... that I'm about to SNAP and just give in.

I think about killing myself every day, before the truth comes out.

Fucking life.
What to do...

 

[Puruzi]

Yeah, lately I feel like I just exist and whatever happens happens.

 

[Chozoman]

With the current state of the world, it's hard not to bury some amount of real emotion deep down and just "be".

I won't say I'm faking it, I'm just numb to the stupidity and hypocrisy inherent in most things, that I likely come off as ambivalent. I'm Gen X so I'm naturally apathetic to most things.

What a world...

 

[Always-honest]

I was this way until I nailed my first sick fidget spinner trick.

There is no such thing.

 

[BriareosGAF]

I feel like you describe my life, except that I would say I already failed at something spectacularly (university) and it's made all my time in further education a waste of time and I'm going to be paying off the debt for another decade or two at least. So, it's not okay to fail?

Well, it didn't kill you, and you learned something. How much does the debt load affect your ability to do the things you want to do? Was this done in the post-GWB environment where debt is non-discharge-able through bankruptcy? Is that something you'd like to change? Have you spoken to your legislators about it? What does your lender think of the situation? Are you trying to follow-up with additional schooling?

 

[oneils]

Choose one of these



Why? They won't do as much for you?

A lot of folks are miserable and can't stand it when others around them are happy. It seems to match my experience. I don't engage them and don't let them know how content I actually am.

All it takes is a few miserable people to really drag a work unit down. There is a limit to the advice, of course. Have to fake it for management, at least. Make them think/know that you are happy/satisfied.

 

[Poppy]

somewhat ironically, if i was better at faking it then i probably would be more socially able, which would allow me to make meaningful friendships and close relationships where i currently have very few. that would then allow me to be myself around people i can trust and enjoy life more, which in turn would mean i would not have to fake being okay as much.

so in that sense its almost like the brain is sabotaging me into being blah all the time, because it isnt willing to work within the confines of the world, where people arent immediately able to know you and what your real intentions are, hence the need for social niceties and acting normal and approachable.

life is kinda hard in that way, isn't it? a lot of people probably think this is overthinking things way too much, but its just how i tend to operate. im way better at making friends on the internet, where i can just act a fool and only talk to the people that respond favorably. but it and my mental state probably do undermine my ability to operate in the real world

ah well, i guess i just have to work on it or be alone

 

[Budi]

I don't really fake enthusiasm. But I don't tell or show people when I'm miserable, depressed, sad or whatever. I don't want to impose that on others, there are professionals for that, also I don't like to show such weakness. Especially when people think I'm really well balanced invidual and very often come to me for emotional support.

 

[Menchi]

My partner broke up with me after 6 years together last fortnight. Since then I think I'm "faking it" at least in the sense that I'm not really letting show, the whole feeling like I'm staring into an abyss of what I thought my future was.

I've always had trouble with emotions in general though, feeling like I'm more trying to match expected emotions and reactions because I know that's how I should feel.

I'm strange, I guess... Not even sure if this even relates to this thread at all.

 

[Ray Wonder]

There is no such thing.

I can throw it from my left to my right hand, under my leg, and then behind my back so yuh huh. All while keeping it spinning.

 

[Razorback]

Y'all need j̶e̶s̶u̶s̶ Buddhism.

 

[SciencePilot]

I don't see a need to fake. I don't care about a lot of things (like my job, career, etc), but I don't feel the need to fake that I care. If I'm not going to be passionate, then I'm not going to be passionate. I just roll.

I live a happy life just caring about the things I do care about, like my girlfriend.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Well, it didn't kill you, and you learned something. How much does the debt load affect your ability to do the things you want to do? Was this done in the post-GWB environment where debt is non-discharge-able through bankruptcy? Is that something you'd like to change? Have you spoken to your legislators about it? What does your lender think of the situation? Are you trying to follow-up with additional schooling?

I think the issue was that I didn't learn something. Seriously though, my main takeaway from that experience is that failure sucks and to avoid it as much as possible. All that other stuff you mention sounds like a lot of effort.

 

[Always-honest]

I can throw it from my left to my right hand, under my leg, and then behind my back so yuh huh. All while keeping it spinning.

You're a proper spinmaster.

 

[sam12]

I think I am depressed as I feel in a similar way for the past 8 years. That's why I miss my childhood and teenage years. I can pinpoint the moment everything clicked off.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety and have to pretend like I don't or people will treat me like a sick person or not hire me. It got so bad once that I needed electroconvulsive therapy. Tell that to any employer and they'll boot you out the door real quick. (It's happened)

It's brutal. Every day is like a painful acting gig.

 

[BruceCLea]

Wow this thread is depressing as fuck. True. But Jesus.

 

[OldRoutes]

I think I am depressed as I feel in a similar way for the past 8 years. That's why I miss my childhood and teenage years. I can pinpoint the moment everything clicked off.

That'd be really good for therapy.

Really, y'all need therapy in your life. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means that sometimes we lie to ourselves and can't quite differentiate the truth from the lies after a while.

See someone, be honest, be transparent and it'll only be better for you in the long run.

 

[hamsjams]

I vacillate between anger, apathy, sadness, and contentment most often. I have brief periods of heightened excitement about hobbies, sometimes. Even when I would describe myself as Happy the people who know me best often have a hard time seeing it.

I don't know what I am or what I'm doing, really. I'm just grateful for the things I have now because I know they'll inevitably be gone. Time is a jerk.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

That'd be really good for therapy.

Really, y'all need therapy in your life. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means that sometimes we lie to ourselves and can't quite differentiate the truth from the lies after a while.

See someone, be honest, be transparent and it'll only be better for you in the long run.

The only problem with this course of action is that if you're​ really messed up they might commit you for the protection of others. So if you think you're really messed up, DON'T go to therapy if you value your freedom.

 

[Username1198]

You have no idea how hard I'm faking it.
being normal.
ish.

I'm a god-damn wreck, I'm fucked in the head, I'm barely getting by, I'm loaded up on pills.
I feel that I'm not going to be able to fake it much longer... that I'm about to SNAP and just give in.

I think about killing myself every day, before the truth comes out.

Fucking life.
What to do...

I'm pretty much the same way. I can't stand anything anymore, and I just don't care anymore. Like if I get hit by a truck; I think life would be doing me a favor. It's so hard to look around and see everyone else living relatively normally, I cannot for the life of me figure out why I cannot.

Everything's just a haze for me, I'm starting to doubt my own memories and general state of mind. I've hidden it for so long I feel like exploding but w/e I'm ok with being a zombie I guess. It's hard to talk about his stuff without sounding edgy, but I truly think life is suffering, and I can totally feel the darkness creeping into my skin, just slowly all over. Again it sounds edgy, but I have no idea how else to describe it. And I feel guilty too, more than anything. I grew up poor, but eventually became middle class and I'm doing ok now. But whenever I think about my life and how much I don't care, I'll immediately think about other poor people around the world who never had a chance. So I feel embarrassed when I think about my own "suffering." Sigh

 

[Horseticuffs]

I'm a huge proponent of faking it until you make it. In many respects perception creates reality. The narrative you create for yourself can eventually even fool you, and then that IS you. Similarly, the narrative you sell others of who you are, if you're consistent enough, will eventually get accepted as the reality.

The past few years I've been making my career by throwing myself into situations I'm not at all qualified or prepared for and just rolling with it. Fuck it. Stay positive. Make yourself whoever you want. Everyone wears masks, constantly. Be honest with yourself and you can decide what mask you wear.

 

[WarRock]

The only problem with this course of action is that if you're​ really messed up they might commit you for the protection of others. So if you think you're really messed up, DON'T go to therapy if you value your freedom.

Where the fuck do you live?

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Where the fuck do you live?

I know both the UK and USA have laws where your therapist/counselor can have you sectioned/committed if they think you're a risk to yourself or others. Which is understandably a good thing, except for whoever gets committed.

My main issue with therapy is that they give you tasks to do, don't they? What if you don't want to do them? Can they force you to?

 

[BriareosGAF]

All that other stuff you mention sounds like a lot of effort.

Sure, but that's sort of the point--that you can't predict what will actually excite you and break you out of the quiet ennui, or even how much work something is involved in. A stochastic approach is necessary where you try things until that thing clicks. It's also a general posture change--from 'everything is a hassle' to 'oh you can just do things' even if you have no idea what you should be doing. I suppose colloquially these are referred to as 'variety is the spice of life' and 'fake it till you make it'.

We build up these constructs in our heads of what we think we are, how people perceive us, what a process will be like, and then you just do it and it turns out you wasted all that time obsessing about it and when you do it it's not hard, people will help you, and unexpected things pop up that you could never anticipate, that make it all interesting and worthwhile.