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[John Kowalski]

:lol2

 

[Falcs]

Pics or IDH...

 

[jesu]

Yeah I'm a hemorrhoid expert but I'm going to have to see pics first.

 

[Layell]

your username is great for this topic OP.

 

[Kyoufu]

Sounds like an abscess to me. You need to see a doctor. Don't just stay at home thinking it'll go away.

 

[Grimsen]

Sounds like an abscess to me. You need to see a doctor. Don't just stay at home thinking it'll go away.

This. It happened to me and I wasted precious time applying preparation H for almost a week. Time just made things so much worse. The pain became unbearable.

Go see a doc.

 

[Rabid Wolverine]

You need to see a doctor. Don't just stay at home thinking it'll go away.

Pretty much this.

Get it checked out, have a colonoscope if its really bad.

 

[Jackben]

Gross why would you announce this, you're supposed to keep this kind of thing to yourself, what is wrong with-

Oh I forgot I'm on NeoGAF. Carry on.

 

[Novocaine]

For real maybe get it checked out at a doctor, at the least he might be able to give you some good pain killers.

 

[maomaoIYP]

If you can see it hanging out of your anus you're probably gonna have to cut it out. Also hemorrhoids never really truly goes away. I've done the operation to remove mine twice already. Search my post history for more on the topic, I've written extensively about it on GAF.

 

[Rur0ni]

See doctor asap. Never wait out real abnormal things.

This thread scares me.

 

[Marvel]

Dr. Khali will see you now.

 

[ZeroMaverick]

Serious question: is it close to your butthole?

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Dr. Khali will see you now.

There really is a wrasling gif for everything.

 

[Days like these...]

I don't know the first thing about hemorrhoids but can you get them anywhere else other than your bottom?

 

[ZeroMaverick]

Basically, I ask because I have one too. Last summer, during E fucking 3, it got out of control. It was about the size of a grape and hurt very much. I eventually put cream on it, and the swelling went down tremendously and the pain stopped. Now it's smaller than a pea and it only itches sometimes. I've been living with it with no real issue other than having to be careful when wiping.

This thread is weird.

 

[CadetMahoney]

I heard you can push them back in.

"I don't wanna hit a soooore spot. . . "

 

[JustenP88]

I had one on my top once. Just bust that mother fucker open and let the buttjuice flow like wine.

 

[acrid]

Anal problems? Yep, just another day on Gaf.

 

[JoeyJungle]

Could be worse, it could be a pilonidal cyst. Those are fun times.

So that's what that thing is called! I've been staring at it in the mirror and wondering.

 

[HyperCubed4]

I have some mighty big ones.

Spoiler

They're a pain in the ass.

Preparation H and Advil, your best friends. I'm a skinny guy and have little to know muscle-tone. So if you're anything like me, you should work out your lower body, mainly your butt, for obvious reasons.

 

[Cerato]

I've had one that was as painful as you describe. One of the worst experiences ever. Go to the doctor. Don't let them scope you. Trust me.

 

[bobawesome]

Chew on it until it leaks

 

[terrisus]

I've got an excruciating hemorrhoid on my bottom.

Go have a doctor examine it with his tongue.

That sounds more appealing than you probably intended for it to sound.

...

...

...

 

[Skeyser]

Should definitely see a doctor, they can prescribe you anesthetic cream that numbs the pain way better than prep h. And a specialist to see if you have internal hemorrhoids too.

 

[acrid]

...

...

...

As I said, just another day on Gaf.

 

[Corto]

Go see a doctor as soon as possible. To ease on the discomfort/pain in the meanwhile do hot water douche for 10 minutes followed by ice pack.

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

Sometimes I get these poops that are hard as a rock with sharp rock outcroppings that tear my butthole to shreds and then I look down and the water is deep red from all the blood. Then the blood stops after a day or two, and then like 9 months later i get another huge, hard, sharp poopoo that cuts me up again. I wonder if I have an inner hemorrhoid and the sharp boulders are cutting up the hemorrhoid? When the sharp it slicing my insides as it moves sometimes the pain is so intense I feel like I could pass out, like I start sweating really hard, and my thoughts become irrational and repetitive, my vision starts turning overly white tinged like somebody turned up the exposure too high, and I have involuntary tremors.

Do inner hemorrhoids go away on their own or is it something that needs to be surgically removed?

You need to start squatting on the toilet.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Sounds like an abscess to me. You need to see a doctor. Don't just stay at home thinking it'll go away.

This is what it is. I sat in the bath tub for an hour or so. Got out. Laid down, and drainage happened. All pus, barely any blood. My understanding is that the pus is supposed to smell really bad. Well, it smells off but it's not horrible (can't smell unless you put it close to your nose). Sorry for the TMI but I'm scared.

Couldn't go to the doctor the day I made this thread because of the weekend.

I'm researching and coming up with a lot of scary information like how I could have a fistula or chrones. Going to try to get in to a colorectal surgeon asap.

 

[_Isaac]

On the whole I think Preparation H feels good.

Damn you!

 

[Jaffaboy]

I've suffered with them all my life. They're the reason I believe there's no God.

 

[FUME5]

This is what it is. I sat in the bath tub for an hour or so. Got out. Laid down, and drainage happened. All pus, barely any blood. My understanding is that the pus is supposed to smell really bad. Well, it smells off but it's not horrible (can't smell unless you put it close to your nose). Sorry for the TMI but I'm scared.

Couldn't go to the doctor the day I made this thread because of the weekend.

I'm researching and coming up with a lot of scary information like how I could have a fistula or chrones. Going to try to get in to a colorectal surgeon asap.

I'm impressed that in the name of science, you went out of your way to sniff pus you recently expelled from a hemorrhoid.

 

[hockeypuck]

Going to try to get in to a colorectal surgeon asap.

Wise move. And don't apply that Preparation H crap. Just rinse the area twice a day for now. Sitz baths are good.

 

[Chanser]

Chew on it until it leaks

Pop that creamy center.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

I'm impressed that in the name of science, you went out of your way to sniff pus you recently expelled from a hemorrhoid.

In the name of my health. I expected worse. I had a pilonidal cyst once which was substantially more smelly. That drained on its own, took a z pack and have been fine ever since. Until now. That was about 3 to 4 years ago.

 

[outunderthestars]

Gets paid ful medical conditio, posts on GAF for attention. Makes sense.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Gets paid ful medical conditio, posts on GAF for attention. Makes sense.

The fuck are you talking about?

How about you bugger off with that attention shit. Some people have posted some useful info in this thread. Sure it's a lark to some, but really, the guy who mentioned abcess put me on the right track.

 

[FUME5]

In the name of my health. I expected worse. I had a pilonidal cyst once which was substantially more smelly. That drained on its own, took a z pack and have been fine ever since. Until now. That was about 3 to 4 years ago.

Sheeeit, ah well, good luck at the docs tomorrow.

 

[Gibbo]

OP. Could be a fistula as well. I had it 2 years ago. Unfortunately it doesn't go away unless it is operated on. It is a simple surgery though, but recovery will take half a year or so.

 

[PHOENIXZERO]

Nevermind...

Still, TMI...

 

[Redd]

Sometimes I get these poops that are hard as a rock with sharp rock outcroppings that tear my butthole to shreds and then I look down and the water is deep red from all the blood. Then the blood stops after a day or two, and then like 9 months later i get another huge, hard, sharp poopoo that cuts me up again. I wonder if I have an inner hemorrhoid and the sharp boulders are cutting up the hemorrhoid? When the sharp it slicing my insides as it moves sometimes the pain is so intense I feel like I could pass out, like I start sweating really hard, and my thoughts become irrational and repetitive, my vision starts turning overly white tinged like somebody turned up the exposure too high, and I have involuntary tremors.

Do inner hemorrhoids go away on their own or is it something that needs to be surgically removed?

Drink more water.

 

[ManUnkindH]

This has never happened to me. I'm fit. I eat healthy. I exercise. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but it's kind of making me want to die.

It's like, swollen, and on the outside. It isn't red (looked in a mirror) and it isn't bleeding but I might have to call off work if it doesn't get better as I can barely move around for the pain.

How long does it take for this to go away? Would ice help? If it bursts do I have to go to the ER? Help me I'm scared and ouch.

DO NOT use ice, it will only make it worse.

Chances are it's not going to burst, but you should see a doctor ASAP. It could be a severe case and you will need medication, maybe even antibiotics.

If it;s a severe case, then the pain will most likely last for a week or so, but it can take up to one month or more for it to go away completely. But as I've said, you need to see a doctor right away.

The one thing that helps a lot is taking 30 minutes baths in WARM water - NOT cold, NOT hot as both of them will make it worse.

Do not use toilet paper while you have this, if you go to the bathroom you should take a shower afterwards. Pain can be a real bitch, so your doctor will most likely prescribe some painkillers for a week or so.

Best of luck, if there's any more info I can help with, please ask.

 

[Methos#1975]

So that's what that thing is called! I've been staring at it in the mirror and wondering.

Maybe, I have one and it hurts for months then it will burst and release nastiness and I'll have a small hole on my back for a few days that heals back over and the process repeats. At some point I have to have it removed.

 

[Silphonica]

I sometimes get these randomly, I dont know why it happens, usually from trying to push too hard when I want to poo in a jiffy i think.

Last month was the first one I had in a long time, and it was massive. Everything I did made me want to kill myself in frustration at the constant level of pain, took me between 10-15 mins of careful shuffling to sit without that intense shard pain that made me cower.

I worked 4 12 hour shifts in a row with that *redacted* blocking my asshole, I didn't poop and didnt sit around others. Im sure you will manage.

 

[ManUnkindH]

I sometimes get these randomly, I dont know why it happens, usually from trying to push too hard when I want to poo in a jiffy i think.

Last month was the first one I had in a long time, and it was massive. Everything I did made me want to kill myself in frustration at the constant level of pain, took me between 10-15 mins of careful shuffling to sit without that intense shard pain that made me cower.

I worked 4 12 hour shifts in a row with that *redacted* blocking my asshole, I didn't poop and didnt sit around others. Im sure you will manage.

Yeah, periods of high stress will make these motherfuckers come out.

 

[spyshagg]

dear op,
excuse my language as this is a traumatic topic for me, but motherf*cker don't complain.



Imagine steaming hot liquid diarrhoea team-tagging with tommy gun bursting flatulences caressing your haemorrhoid, 24/7.



Had to devise an emergency contraption consisting of a plastic bottle top with the borders gently rounded with a cigar lighter, more lubbed than a first-time-anal orifice, for the end result you can imagine me doing.



and seeing Splatoon topics everywhere does NOT make it easy to forget the shit I've seen.



don't complain.

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

Sorry OP, but you reminded me of Nobby from the Viz (a UK magazine).

This strip is SFW, but be careful about searching for others.

 

[PjotrStroganov]

Do you shave your asshole? The abscess might have been caused by an ingrown hair.

 

[Docflem]

Kidding about the icy hot.

A week or two is too long. This is debilitating.

Please at the very least make a doctors appointment, any time pain can be described as "debilitating," there could be a major issue that needs to be fixed quickly. Though you shouldn't panic, while server pain can be scary it doesn't necessarily have to be a huge problem. Cysts and hemorrhoids are very common, very painfully but are rarely serious issues that would kill you or severely disable you. Anyone who thinks they might be suffering from hemorrhoids should talk with they're doctors about preventing a relapse, which is usually caused by straining to much to defecate. If you don't have insurance, try adding fiber to your diet and using an over the counter laxative anytime you feel constipated.

 

[Dr. Benton Quest]

How did you manage to look at it on a mirror. That's some serious contortionist shit.

Put mirror on floor. Squat.