Pachterballs
Banned
Great film. I pirated a bluray version about a month ago. I can't seem to erase it from my hard drive until Tuesday when I can purchase it.Good stuff, can't wait.
goodbye
Great film. I pirated a bluray version about a month ago. I can't seem to erase it from my hard drive until Tuesday when I can purchase it.Good stuff, can't wait.
Watched this last weekend and was thoroughly disappointed.
Its not a bad movie, but it strays WAY too far from the first book of the Barsoom series which would have been a fantastic movie in it's own right.
The combination of simple self-insight and stern character that defined John Carter in the books is completely lacking.
Deja Thoris lacks the fierce pride a woman of a warrior race is supposed to have.
She absolutely DOES NOT. We watched two completely different movies. A woman who fiercely loves her home world and planet, and who will do anything to defend/preserve/protect it is exactly what she is in this movie.
The Jedak of Helium is a spineless POS in this while instead being one of the more powerful side characters in the books.
The book may be different but in the movie it seemed that he was out of options and it made sense that he would try to broker some kind of peace after (what seemed like) centuries of endless civil war with Zodanga
Tars Tarkas is given far too little character development, as is Sola. The Thark social structure is all but completely ignored, when it was one of the most essential aspects of the first book.
The movie stresses that they are pretty brutal and respect very little but brute strength and leadership. We see how they discard unwanted/unworthy children as well. The Tharks get just enough screen time and characterization for the story this movie is trying to tell, I think.
The Therns are brought in far too soon and the planetary view of the River Iss is completely shot.
What do you mean by planetary view of River Iss is shot? Please elaborate.
For all those hoping for a sequel, stop. The script for this is basically the first two books ran through a shredder, tossed like a salad, and then taped back together. There is nothing else from the source material to carry the series forward after they've broken all the ties to future series continuity with their rewrite.
I would love to see a sequel. I think the movie told a pretty complete story that is satisfying on its own merits, though.
John Carter should be a sci-fi Lawrence of Arabia, not another Avatar-esque heavy handed action movie.
It's embarassing that this film has both Walt Disney and Steve jobs names attached to it.
Your post got a smile outta me.Neither of them will ever live with themselves after this.
I think the problem with this movie is it just isn't...fun...? It's quite a bore to watch. I finally convinced my wife to watch it since I got a good deal and purchased it.
Recent bombs from Disney like The Prince of Persia and The Sorcerers Apprentice were overall fun movies.
Should have been more faithful to the novel rather than trying to modernize it with weird scientific explanations for things and getting Earth involved in the story. Also since when does Woola run like the Flash?
All right, I rented this.
*crosses fingers*
Enjoy!
This was sooo much more terrible than I thought it would be, and I had zero expectations
Prepare yourself for dat Woola.All right, I rented this.
*crosses fingers*
All right, I rented this.
*crosses fingers*
sucker. Jesus even Prometheus was better than this. I am a huge fan of the books and I've read them all at least a half dozen times (mostly when I was young). Tars Tarkas did not start as a goddamn Jeddak in the books only to get his fucking ass whipped by a pussy usurper. Such bullshit.
If any of you hated Prometheus and thought the franchise was mishandled by someone who should have known better, you should be doubly incensed at this dreck. It could have been a masterpiece.
This was a book?
I thought you already started watching it, graven.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, but can't take your review seriously now because you stopped halfway through to post on GAF.
Can't comment on pacing issues when you're stopping the flow of the film yourself.
But again, I'm glad you liked it.
Ben's Ravings.
If you do read the books, only read the first one. The Gods of Mars and Warlord of Mars follow the same frustrating storyline which boils down to two books of 'I'm sorry, your princess is in another castle!'
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Now I'm all sad again. I wish I had kids to share this movie with. Maybe I'll go get some.
Yeah, as my kid gets older I can't wait to show him more movies like this. He'll be watching this around the same time I introduce him to Episode 4 and Lost Ark, true talk.
This movie actually does fit quite well with those. Pure pulpy goodness.
Oh yeah, The barsoom books are VERY repetitive in plot structure. But each book typically adds a bit about the world (mainly different colored people) and explores a bit more about religion, technology, or philosophy.
I liked the movie, but think the JC character was too emo for the first half, in the books he is the most alpha male ever! If only a young Bruce Campbell was available.....
While I am sorta glad they moved past the "save the air generator" storyline adding in the river an the therns was a bit too much, I think. Alas, the simple "gotta save the girl" plot line is probably too jaded and simplistic today, hence the "he is really saving the earth" additions.
Great film. I pirated a bluray version about a month ago. I can't seem to erase it from my hard drive until Tuesday when I can purchase it.Good stuff, can't wait.
The therns and the river are great. In a way it was like discovering a template for an often used plot device of many jrpgs at an archaeological site.Oh yeah, The barsoom books are VERY repetitive in plot structure. But each book typically adds a bit about the world (mainly different colored people) and explores a bit more about religion, technology, or philosophy.
I liked the movie, but think the JC character was too emo for the first half, in the books he is the most alpha male ever! If only a young Bruce Campbell was available.....
While I am sorta glad they moved past the "save the air generator" storyline adding in the river an the therns was a bit too much, I think. Alas, the simple "gotta save the girl" plot line is probably too jaded and simplistic today, hence the "he is really saving the earth" additions.
I thought this was a bannable offense?
I didn't hate the movie but I wish it had gotten more of a Peter Jackson LoTR treatment than it did. I think the original story would have made a great movie and leave room for multiple sequels. I understand the nudity had to go but I don't understand why they felt the other changes were needed.
IIRC, she is a researcher of some sort in the books, but she was performing a geological survey when she was captured and had nothing to do with engineering.Speaking of which, I like how she's wearing that Emma Frost like wedding outfit that covered more of her than a typical New Jersey bridezilla and yet she's like "this is a bit too revealing isn't it?"
I could have done without the scientist angle. Not only was the scene she had with the machine that the Thern sabotaged completely unecessary for her character, but also had nothing to do with the plot - I get that it was setting up something for a later movie, but cut it out.
She's already intelligent and a great fighter, throwing in the scientist angle is just trying TOO hard to please a female audience.
IIRC, she is a researcher of some sort in the books, but she was performing a geological survey when she was captured and had nothing to do with engineering.
John Carter's failure as the box office is our failure as a species
We failed to go see a mediocre movie? There's much worse box-office-related sins than a tentpole grossing nearly $300 million for a studio that will never be in fear of dying.
We failed
to go see a mediocre movie?
There's much worse box-office-related sins than a tentpole grossing nearly $300 million for a studio that will never be in fear of dying.