Gentlemen, I have consumed a McGangBang.
It was a harrowing journey through the snow and cold, on ice and sleet, through the green lights and into the drive thru. Upon receiving my special package, I cranked the heat up to preserve it's natural warmth during my travel home. Then, came an extreme situation where I had to make a left turn across THREE LANES while an ignorant taxi driver (who didn't get the memo that no one here rides in taxis) sat in the lane next to me, obscuring my right side view, making the left turn all the more terrifying.
I survived. I pulled into my drive way and ran out of the car, grabbed some ketchup, knocked everything off the table in one clean arm swipe
and unraveled my meal.
Little did I know how gargantuan this monster would come to be. Standing
seven layers tall (excluding condiments, cheese, and
lettuce) , I thought to myself whether or not I should unhinge my jaw prior to entry. "No..." I said "No McDonald's meal was worth facial reconstruction surgery." That is what I thought....
Until I took a bite into this behemoth. Thousands of flavors rushed the senses like pigs to a dead corpse, grabbing at any taste bud they could excite. Yes, gentleman, what you've heard, good or bad, fair or fancy, terrible or intrusive...it's all true. The McGangBang is a fervent repugnation to the divine senses of human nature, a tour de force that sweeps away your preconceptions into a dustpan of love and cost-effectiveness. Rarely have I felt so juvenile.
I consumed it all. And no doubt,
gentlemen....it will not be the last time.
Whether I like it or not.
