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[geebee]

If your farts are that bad, try changing your diet.

 

[TommyT]

If your farts are that bad, try changing your diet.

What the hell makes your farts smell nice or not at all? IT PASSES BY POOP BEFORE IT COMES OUT!

 

[Trin]

You could try one of those deoderizer sprays they make for smelly shoes.

Maybe take some Beano too.

 

[LordCanti]

Wear two pairs of pants and/or a diaper. No shit should be getting through a single pair, but that seems to not be the case here.

 

[3phemeral]

This reminds me of that time I was at the gym and the dude using the ab machine next to me had this same odor emanating from him. I thought I could just finish my set and deal with it, but it got progressively worse and started to irritate my nose and eventually my eyes started to water; somehow, it became spicy. I couldn't endure it any more, so I left, but that entire night, I was worried I might end up sitting on a machine he used.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Use those dryer sheets that are scented, place on seat and put a towel over it all for a day or so...that should help after your febreeze treatment.

 

[ColonelSkills]

:lol my pun was not literal! The flatulents are the problem here. I'm not pooping in my chair!

Man, this is totally a problem I have too. Sometimes I beef so hard I wonder if the chair is going to melt or something.

Either way, those poolecules are part of it now, man. Embrace it. The chair is the sum of it's many years cradling your ass.

Worse comes to worst, just burn it and get a new one.

 

[BlackGoku03]

Step one: wash your butt.

Step two: Wash the chair.

There should be nothing else to say...

 

[TheExodu5]

One time my friend was masturbating nude in his computer chair and he sharted.

At least he didn't triple himself.

 

[edgefusion]

How old is the computer chair? Ever spill any milk or something on it? Buy a new chair and be less gross in future.

 

[Omegasquash]

Bi-directional load.

....shumming?

 

[slit]

What the hell makes your farts smell nice or not at all? IT PASSES BY POOP BEFORE IT COMES OUT!

Charcoal underpants may come in handy here. The foul smelling gas coming out of your rear passes through a charcoal filter. It will stop the stink from transferring and emitting from your chair, not to mention it will allow those around you to breathe easy again.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

You must have a particularly stanky asshole.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

If you can get under the padding, leave some dryer sheets.

Dryer sheets are good for fragrance and deodorizing (They absorb the 'bad' smell and overpower it)

 

[alphaNoid]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

 

[Omegasquash]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity.

Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

That got me laughing.

 

[FStop7]

OP do you frequently have mud butt?

During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know.

 

[IdreamofHIME]

Put a towel down when you masturbate or just wash your ass.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

You should probably wear pants when masturbating.

 

[akira28]

hrm...my chair smells pleasant...like herbal something or other.

not what I expected, but you ppl have some problems.

edit:
Ricolaaaaaa!

 

[Sol..]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

 

[Omegasquash]

hrm...my chair smells pleasant...like herbal something or other.

not what I expected, but you ppl have some problems.

It's called wiping your ass. Explains the lack of terrible odor, but not the presence of pleasant.

 

[Marleyman]

I just use the Old Spice body spray I have sitting around.

 

[TommyT]

Use those dryer sheets that are scented, place on seat and put a towel over it all for a day or so...that should help after your febreeze treatment.

If you can get under the padding, leave some dryer sheets.

Dryer sheets are good for fragrance and deodorizing (They absorb the 'bad' smell and overpower it)

Will surely try those. I can't get into the padding without cutting the fabric.

OP do you frequently have mud butt?

Nope, I always use baby wipes after nor is there any direct ass to chair contact.

 

[richiek]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

 

[Marleyman]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

 

[Toddler]

Toddler's gif of the day.

Now, since I suspect this could possibly reoccur, you might want to invest in a handheld steam cleaner.

 

[brianjones]

how many people had a big sniff of their chairs reading this thread

 

[DoomGyver]

Okay, who else just got up and gave their chair a sniff?

 

[WARCOCK]

Don't take your pants down when you fap, all dat encrusted shit and sweat on ur pad

 

[Slayer-33]

how many people had a big sniff of their chairs reading this thread

It smells good man

DAT ASS SMELL.

Spoiler

jk I sit on a stability ball

 

[Marleyman]

Okay, who else just got up and gave their chair a sniff?

Me!

 

[Strike]

Use baby wipes and Febreze your chair.

 

[GavinGT]

Dilute some vinegar with water, put it in a spray bottle, and spray it all over. Then leave it out in the sun for a few days.

The sun alone will do wonders in killing the smell.

 

[Aristion]

So I have a rather nice and padded office chair I use to enjoy lengthy periods of time on the computer. Shit happens, pun intended, and it's about time I try to get this thing smelling on the up and up. Currently I have the chair disassembled and I've used some Tuff Stuff to lightly clean it followed with some Febreze. It sits outside air-drying and I fear this will not be enough. Anyone have any suggestions or experience forcefully facilitating foul flatulents from a fluffy faithful chair?

LMAO the same thing happened to me. Lots of fapping wearing only my boxers did that to my old computer chair (spray-farts and the whole nine-yards). I also pissed on it when I was 13ish. I eventually threw it out, though.

 

[Drencrom]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

Thanks for the laugh

 

[Goody]

Powder it with baking soda, leave it rest for a day. Outdoors if possible. Then vacuum it up

 

[Philia]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

LMAO I died. XD

I should say I love this thread because its hilarious. I have a soft faux velvet cushion office chair I had for more than 7 years. It was recently like last year or something when we noticed this horrid squeaking noise coming from it whenever I swiveled or rocked it. So we turned it upside down to oil it and such. It was then when I smelled the chair (for oil of course) and of course it definitely smelled like ass. I sprayed febreze all over it as often as I could lmao.

EDIT: A detergent sheet sounds brilliant, I would totally do that if I could put it in.

 

[Rom1944]

nice trick op you almost got me to sniff my chair.

 

[geebee]

What the hell makes your farts smell nice or not at all? IT PASSES BY POOP BEFORE IT COMES OUT!

Seriously, look it up. Stop assaulting your chair with long-term effects.

 

[Dead Prince]

you probably should also get your room tested as well.

 

[Gumbie]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

I'm gonna get fired at work for laughing my ass off.

Also, this needs a dramatic reading.

 

[Nemesis_]

The term swamp butt and the mental image that it conjures makes me want to vomit ;_;

 

[KingofGourds]

The term swamp butt and the mental image that it conjures makes me want to vomit ;_;

Conversely I think it would make a good title for a Tool song. So I'm cool with it.

 

[Akahige]

I just bought a new chair when moving out of my apartment recently, mostly because all the fake leather was stripping off in tiny pieces and it was toast. I had the chair for 4 years. During that 4 years my ass farted an unimaginable amount of times into the fabric. Tons of bare ass fap sessions and all around general computer throne type activity. Before putting it outside I gave the seat a quick sniff .. I had to know. And by gods, it was the foulest of fouls. Like dead corpses, sprinkled with hot garbage drizzled in fumunda cheese. Years of ass, years of taint secretions all piled, rubbed and caked into one centralized location giving off a toasty aroma.

Instead of throwing it in the trash I put it by the dumpsters. I knew someone else in my complex would see the chair, realize it was in sound shape but just rubbed off leather and take it home. I figured, the chair must live on and my ass, and my taint secretions deserved better than rotting away in some public dump. I imagine as I'm typing this some poor bastard is sitting right on that hot mess.

I suppose a part of me never left that apartment complex.

 

[ffdgh]

What an interesting topic...
I say use bakingsoda....or bleach as a last resort*sarcasm*

 

[entremet]

Eat better, OP.

 

[gaki]

Set it on fire. That will sterilize it.

 

[blame space]

gross!

 

[Meier]

Funny you should post this. My fiancee complained about how awful my chair at home smells like a week ago. I sprayed a ton of Febreeze on it.. hopefully that helps. I've never noticed the scent since I guess we all get de-sensitized to stuff like this if we're always around it.