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(never thought id be writing one) Girl-Age: She wants space
- Thread starter Nakazato
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Is she an only child by any chance?
As an only child, whenever I go through really rough patches I actually do like to be left the fuck alone for a few days. Consoling me usually just pisses me off.
Although, booting you out the door at 2 AM after she asked you to stay over? Either she is done with you or she is fucking insane. Either way you may want to bail
As an only child, whenever I go through really rough patches I actually do like to be left the fuck alone for a few days. Consoling me usually just pisses me off.
Although, booting you out the door at 2 AM after she asked you to stay over? Either she is done with you or she is fucking insane. Either way you may want to bail
lawlohwhat
Banned
BAIL OUT
lawlohwhat said:
Verano said:
This is page two people... you're way too late.
OP, after getting kicked out with zero explanation at that hour of the night I'd say she would be extremely lucky to ever get another chance with you. That's bullshit, and it really shows that deep inside she doesn't give two shits about you. She knows she should, and she'll struggle with it, but in the end if she doesn't respect you things won't get much better.
MWS Natural
Member
It's probably over but you have one chance. Next time you get the opportunity eat that pussy like your were a hungry lesbian. If you do it right you are garanteed to get her back
.
for another month
That Singer Guy...
Member
Tell her your moving on with your life and she can call you when she gets herself in order.
Now this is where it gets tricky.
1. If she doesn't reply in less than 20-30 minutes, what she says won't be sincere(its over)
2. If she want to keep you around in case new dick doesn't work out, then it'll take a hour or two for her to call because she asking her friends for advice(aka its over)
3.If she agrees with your message(it over)
pretty simple
Now this is where it gets tricky.
1. If she doesn't reply in less than 20-30 minutes, what she says won't be sincere(its over)
2. If she want to keep you around in case new dick doesn't work out, then it'll take a hour or two for her to call because she asking her friends for advice(aka its over)
3.If she agrees with your message(it over)
pretty simple
i_am_ben
running_here_and_there
wow Gaf's a bunch of hard arses.
give her space. Obviously she's determining whether to remain in the relationship. Maybe she'll choose to stay. Who knows?
What do you lose by giving her space? Worse case scenario is that your relationship ends next week rather than this week.
Oh and new dick, gaf? really?
give her space. Obviously she's determining whether to remain in the relationship. Maybe she'll choose to stay. Who knows?
What do you lose by giving her space? Worse case scenario is that your relationship ends next week rather than this week.
Oh and new dick, gaf? really?
MuzzledBasher
Member
kicking you out at 2am seems unacceptable to be honest, do you live really close by or is she just that big of an inconsiderate douche?
JimiNutz
Banned
Wow this thread has come at an appropriate time because a very similar thing just happened with my girl.
Everything was fine between us and then suddenly she just turned around and said that she needs time and space. She recently had glandular fever so I spent every available minute with her in an attempt to nurse her back to health and keep her company. It worked, and she's a lot better now, but claims that she still has no energy, and that she just wants to be alone at the moment (despite that fact that she's still constantly going out with her friends and spending time with them).
At first I panicked a little and wanted to snap her out of this mind set, but I know that will only make things worse. I told her that it's tough for me to just back off completely and give her space because I care about her, but if it's space she wants I'm going to give her all the time and space that she needs. I don't plan on contacting her again and will let her initiate any contact.
My girl also has lots of 'issues', and I don't think she's cheating or anything, however I'm not naive and think this is clearly the start of the breaking up process. Somebody saying they need space and time is not necessarily a sign that things are over but, in my opinion, it's never a good thing. If things get tough then I'd always hoped that we could pull through them together, and the fact that she wants to be alone says to me that she doesn't feel this way.
I'm now preparing myself mentally for what I think is an inevitable break up. If we don't break up then that'll be a pleasant surprise, but right now I'm just concentrating on getting myself strong mentally so that it doesn't hurt too bad when it ends.
Everything was fine between us and then suddenly she just turned around and said that she needs time and space. She recently had glandular fever so I spent every available minute with her in an attempt to nurse her back to health and keep her company. It worked, and she's a lot better now, but claims that she still has no energy, and that she just wants to be alone at the moment (despite that fact that she's still constantly going out with her friends and spending time with them).
At first I panicked a little and wanted to snap her out of this mind set, but I know that will only make things worse. I told her that it's tough for me to just back off completely and give her space because I care about her, but if it's space she wants I'm going to give her all the time and space that she needs. I don't plan on contacting her again and will let her initiate any contact.
My girl also has lots of 'issues', and I don't think she's cheating or anything, however I'm not naive and think this is clearly the start of the breaking up process. Somebody saying they need space and time is not necessarily a sign that things are over but, in my opinion, it's never a good thing. If things get tough then I'd always hoped that we could pull through them together, and the fact that she wants to be alone says to me that she doesn't feel this way.
I'm now preparing myself mentally for what I think is an inevitable break up. If we don't break up then that'll be a pleasant surprise, but right now I'm just concentrating on getting myself strong mentally so that it doesn't hurt too bad when it ends.
I quite don't see why she would "need space" because of her friend's mom passing away. Sounds fishy. Especially since you've been dating for 1year+.
I don't necessarily think (unlike most of bitter-GAF) that another guy is involved, but yeah, this + the whole "well you know what, gtfo actually" at 2am is just plain weird.
I'd say, tell her exactly what you've said here. You don't really understand, her behaviour is quite hurting you, but if she wants space, fair enough, she'll get space. And if she makes up her mind, you'll be there. Maybe. Meanwhile, start to move along.
I don't necessarily think (unlike most of bitter-GAF) that another guy is involved, but yeah, this + the whole "well you know what, gtfo actually" at 2am is just plain weird.
I'd say, tell her exactly what you've said here. You don't really understand, her behaviour is quite hurting you, but if she wants space, fair enough, she'll get space. And if she makes up her mind, you'll be there. Maybe. Meanwhile, start to move along.
forknknife
Banned
This happened to me just 2 months ago with this girl I had been seeing for also a couple of months and in the end the "time" she needed was just to go back to her exboyfriend. Even though it was such a short relationship and I wasn't even too convinced of it it still hurt and hurts me to this day when I think about it.
So hope this will not be your case but I'm afraid that girls only use the "I need time" card like that, I think they even expect us to know what that really means so they don't have to work too hard to dump us.
I'd recommend to act as cool as possible if the break up happens but also don't let her get away the easy way (at least make her do it face to face, not by email like this bitch did to me).
And beat the shit out of the other guy when you see him with her, that also works. :lol jk
So hope this will not be your case but I'm afraid that girls only use the "I need time" card like that, I think they even expect us to know what that really means so they don't have to work too hard to dump us.
I'd recommend to act as cool as possible if the break up happens but also don't let her get away the easy way (at least make her do it face to face, not by email like this bitch did to me).
And beat the shit out of the other guy when you see him with her, that also works. :lol jk
Metroid Killer
Member
ugh... I would hate to be together with a girl who wouldn't communicate properly.
You'd think that after dating for a year your relationship would be pretty serious, no? Kicking you out and needing space without a proper explanation is such a dickish move. It's quite selfish actually.
You'd think that after dating for a year your relationship would be pretty serious, no? Kicking you out and needing space without a proper explanation is such a dickish move. It's quite selfish actually.
With the whole giving her space thing, normally I'd say fine, do some casual dating, if she wants back in she'll let you know, otherwise you move on.
But after reading she asked you to stay, then told you to leave, I'd say you're better off without her. She's obviously wishy washy, and who needs that drama in their life?
But after reading she asked you to stay, then told you to leave, I'd say you're better off without her. She's obviously wishy washy, and who needs that drama in their life?
Sohter.Nura
Member
I've used that line on a girl myself and I was interested in another girl in school. I was 16 back then, so yeah, don't keep your hopes up buddy 
J Tourettes
Banned
Give her space but in the meantime prepare for it to be over. Sometimes chicks just want space, sometimes they're using it as an excuse.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
JB1981 got it right, no need to be immediately dramatic. Just tell her you'll be there when she feels better...but imply that you won't wait forever.
Grieving does strange things to people, but if you guys do work this out, you better demand an apology for getting put out on your ass at 2AM.
Grieving does strange things to people, but if you guys do work this out, you better demand an apology for getting put out on your ass at 2AM.
soundahfekz
Member
There's not much to advise on. Bail out completely, activate few standby chicks (if applicable) call up your boys and enjoy having another chance at meeting someone better.
WanderingWind
Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
Mama Robotnik said:
This.
Not to sound harsh, but "I need space" is almost always one of two things: either you moved way too quick, or she has somebody else in mind.
She's bad news either way. Move on.
DualShadow
Member
Formless said:
Silence
InsertCredit
Member
:lol :lolDualShadow said:
Bail out. The "I need time and space" line is pretty much the first sign in her either having found a new guy or her just getting over you. Move on. Likewise, that was pretty rude of her to have kicked you out so late in the night like that.
Majima Everywhere System
Member
Yeah. Just leave with your ego intact. Don't give her the chance to do unthoughtful things. Don't go along with them, because you will have a, "What the hell was I doing" moment in the future that you won't enjoy.
Always-honest
Banned
sounds like she has some problems.. but it also sounds like she doesn't want to fight those problems with you.
experience says it will be hard as hell to have a happy life with her.
experience says it will be hard as hell to have a happy life with her.
Lionheart1827
Member
Mama Robotnik said:
As much as I would love to say otherwise, this is pretty much what I'm thinking as well. If you feel like trying to keep things going with her, then do it. However, the very least is you should start preparing for the worst so when the actual break up comes, you'll be all the more ready and it wont be a shock.
Most people that have had relationships have gone through this in time, and more often than not, she still obviously has the feelings and memories of good times with you. She does not want to lose that, but there may also be conflicting feelings like she may want to see other people and shes not 100% happy with you. It's hard to hear but a lot of times, its true. Mama Robotnik is pretty much right. She may be using the "need time" card because she wants to see somebody else but she also still has feelings, memories, and emotions for you and she doesnt want to completely leave you until SHE has moved on and she'll be OK.
I wish you much luck friend, but the best advice is to start preparing for the worst so the shock doesn't hurt as much. I would not give up hope, but do not put all of your faith into it because it will hurt much harder if it goes bad.
DualShadow
Member
Formless said:
Usually guys get the silent treatment when their gf is angry at them but they are still in a relationship, IMO "needing space" is just a step towards a split because most gf's try to let the guy down gentle.
Snuggylove
Neo Member
I'm not just going to roll a "bail out" line for you as this seems to be the most common response in a Girl-Age thread, but you know, I'd just think for a while about what it is that you want to do. The problem really lies in the fact that she doesn't want to face her problems with you and that can be a pretty hard thing to come to terms with. I'm talking out of experience here. My girlfriend has a chronic illness called HMS, I'll spare you the details, but she suffers a lot because of it. It's a day by day thing and most of the time, you know the meds help her just fine, but it's really hard on her personally as well, because on the days the meds don't really help, she's in an aweful lot of pain all the time. Now when she was first diagnosed with HMS, I got all the same things, "going through a rough time" and as weeks passed by she kept on pushing me away even further and further. She became really passive agressive and she really tried to hit me where it hurts the most. And I myself was in a lot of doubts about everything.
So you know, one night I just sat down and I just thought a whole lot about the situation at hand. She had really pushed me to that point where I was really on the verge of saying, "f**k this, I've had enough of it". And it takes a rather long time before someone can push me that far, because I am pretty lenient, I had a rough time growing up and I know what it's like being the one who always ends up with the short end of the stick. But I can take in a whole lot because of it. But I sat down wondering if she really was worth all of the trouble. And I decided to give it one more shot, because I really did love her and because I knew, what was still deep down inside of her, all those great things that I liked about her, trapped behind a wall of anger that she built around herself. But I did give it shot, because I thought she was worth it. And we're 2 years later now and I haven't had a single regret in my mind about doing it. And sometimes it is really hard and conflict does emerge, but I've learned my ways to work around that, because her illness is something she'll have to live with for the rest of her life and I need to understand that if want to continue building a future with her. And despite the bad moments, the good makes up for it and it took a lot of time and patience, but right now she knows that she doesn't have to fight all this pain on her own because I'll be there right beside her when she needs me the most.
The circumstances aren't exactly the same, but if you doubt everything well, just ask yourself the question if she's worth it. That's something that only you can decide. Give her some time and maybe she'll come back to you and otherwise, in a week or so give it a shot to talk to her again. And you'll see how things work out. Are you really going to get out of it better by bailing out instead of having her tell you that she wants to end things? And maybe things won't even come that far. I really do think that it just starts with a simple notion of what is she worth to you? And if she is worth a lot, then start things slow, gradually build up the conversation, but try to avoid to push her in a corner, because that's when things might go sour really, really fast. I guess most people are probably going to say that this is bad advice but well it's just how I feel about these things.
So you know, one night I just sat down and I just thought a whole lot about the situation at hand. She had really pushed me to that point where I was really on the verge of saying, "f**k this, I've had enough of it". And it takes a rather long time before someone can push me that far, because I am pretty lenient, I had a rough time growing up and I know what it's like being the one who always ends up with the short end of the stick. But I can take in a whole lot because of it. But I sat down wondering if she really was worth all of the trouble. And I decided to give it one more shot, because I really did love her and because I knew, what was still deep down inside of her, all those great things that I liked about her, trapped behind a wall of anger that she built around herself. But I did give it shot, because I thought she was worth it. And we're 2 years later now and I haven't had a single regret in my mind about doing it. And sometimes it is really hard and conflict does emerge, but I've learned my ways to work around that, because her illness is something she'll have to live with for the rest of her life and I need to understand that if want to continue building a future with her. And despite the bad moments, the good makes up for it and it took a lot of time and patience, but right now she knows that she doesn't have to fight all this pain on her own because I'll be there right beside her when she needs me the most.
The circumstances aren't exactly the same, but if you doubt everything well, just ask yourself the question if she's worth it. That's something that only you can decide. Give her some time and maybe she'll come back to you and otherwise, in a week or so give it a shot to talk to her again. And you'll see how things work out. Are you really going to get out of it better by bailing out instead of having her tell you that she wants to end things? And maybe things won't even come that far. I really do think that it just starts with a simple notion of what is she worth to you? And if she is worth a lot, then start things slow, gradually build up the conversation, but try to avoid to push her in a corner, because that's when things might go sour really, really fast. I guess most people are probably going to say that this is bad advice but well it's just how I feel about these things.
WanderingWind
Mecklemore Is My Favorite Wrapper
She went to talk to a "friend" at 2am and kicked him out. New Dick was right behind, or she's a careless human being. Either way, a terrible situation for a guy to remain in.
Question for all the people here - have you ever heard from a girl that she needed space, you gave her the space... and you guys eventually got back together and worked stuff out?
OP, if I were you, your best thing to do would be just that - give her space, and not call her or try to contact her or supplicate her. A lot of guys will constantly nag their g/fs asking to take them back, that act only drives the girls further and further away.
And it sucked that TA got perma'd for a minor infraction, he was always one of my favorite posters, definitely one of the most sane and well-read Republicans.
OP, if I were you, your best thing to do would be just that - give her space, and not call her or try to contact her or supplicate her. A lot of guys will constantly nag their g/fs asking to take them back, that act only drives the girls further and further away.
And it sucked that TA got perma'd for a minor infraction, he was always one of my favorite posters, definitely one of the most sane and well-read Republicans.
Chuckie
Member
jamesinclair said:
I think this one sums it up. She is gonna have fun with someone else and if that doesn't work out she'll have you as a spare player.
Get another girl (and be prepared for a jeaulous ex... because once you find someone new.... she probably suddenly wants you back)
AbortedWalrusFetus
Member
My solution to this type of problem?
Buy a bottle of whiskey/vodka/rum. Go over, and say "I know you need time to yourself, so what we're going to do is sit here and drink this bottle of whiskey, and not say a word to each other. Then I'm going to walk home."
There is something about sharing a drink with someone in silence, having that solace but still being in solitude, that is one of the most amazing things in life. You're alone and not alone at the same time. No matter what the differences between two people, you will come out with respect for each other. The outcome is always up in the air, but if you approach it with a positive goal in mind, you'll always get a positive outcome, the only question is whether or not it's the one you'll want.
Buy a bottle of whiskey/vodka/rum. Go over, and say "I know you need time to yourself, so what we're going to do is sit here and drink this bottle of whiskey, and not say a word to each other. Then I'm going to walk home."
There is something about sharing a drink with someone in silence, having that solace but still being in solitude, that is one of the most amazing things in life. You're alone and not alone at the same time. No matter what the differences between two people, you will come out with respect for each other. The outcome is always up in the air, but if you approach it with a positive goal in mind, you'll always get a positive outcome, the only question is whether or not it's the one you'll want.
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