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[Chuckie]

My solution to this type of problem?

Buy a bottle of whiskey/vodka/rum. Go over, and say "I know you need time to yourself, so what we're going to do is sit here and drink this bottle of whiskey, and not say a word to each other. Then I'm going to walk home."

There is something about sharing a drink with someone in silence, having that solace but still being in solitude, that is one of the most amazing things in life. You're alone and not alone at the same time. No matter what the differences between two people, you will come out with respect for each other. The outcome is always up in the air, but if you approach it with a positive goal in mind, you'll always get a positive outcome, the only question is whether or not it's the one you'll want.

Are you serious? I can not imagine a worse way of spending my evening. Spending an hour in awkward silence with your soon-to-be ex.

 

[Hari Seldon]

You obviously like her, so I'll give you advice as to what to do other than "find new pussy".

1. Buy your alcohol/drug of choice.
2. Buy one of the awesome new video games that have come out recently.
3. Chill out for a while.

Don't crowd her or press her, just send her a text once and a while saying something short and sweet like "thinking of you" or "are you ok?".

Just wait it out dude. If it is over, then it is over. It is not the end of the world if you have to go a couple of weeks with nothing but video games and internet porn.

 

[AbortedWalrusFetus]

Are you serious? I can not imagine a worse way of spending my evening. Spending an hour in awkward silence with your soon-to-be ex.

A silence is never awkward when it's over a drink.

See, the key to this is that you're OFFERING solitude, but it's up to her to take it. There's no way she'll be able to sit there quietly the entire time, and will eventually pour her heart out to you. That's why the whole thing is so cathartic. It's expected that you get weepy and stupid drinking, and that's what will happen. It's going to get the real problem out in the open, and if you went into it with the right mindset no one is going to get hurt.

Edit: The other thing is, you can tell right away whether it's going to last or not if she turns down the offer. After any relationship, even a short one, another person owes you that hour, and if she feels she doesn't then you have your answer.

 

[Chuckie]

A silence is never awkward when it's over a drink.

Yes it is.

You're sitting in front of a girl you love, and you fear she loves you no longer.... so you are gonna drink a bottle of whisky and stare at eachother.... while saying nothing....

Thats ultimate awkwardness.

 

[fastford58]

Translation: Someone is paying attention to me and I want to test the waters. That is all. What you do next is up to you.

 

[Mr. Dobalina]

Put her on extinction.

Have you ever heard of a couple say "Hey, remember that time where we were dating and I said I needed some space? Boy, did that work out for the best!"

 

[Fantasmo]

Confused :lol
Do you want somebody who is confused about you? Trust me, if you keep a level head, a better woman will fill the void eventually.

So better yourself in all possible ways during your newfound free time, and open yourself to meeting someone new. Don't look back unless you get 100%. Remember, needs should be reciprocated, if anyone makes you feel like crap, fix it or choose better next time.

Also, feel free to get get everything off your chest if someone who wronged you ever comes back. Let's em know what's acceptable and what isn't and then there's no room for gray areas. If it's not working, better pastures and all that.

 

[Willectro]

Sounds like it's over. It sucks, but bail out.

 

[Ashour]

I would say give her some time but not too much, but then again she asked you to leave at 2 AM so either she's unstable (at the moment or always) or she wants you to hate her so she won't feel too bad about breaking up.

Anyways hope things work out for you, just don't act on assumptions.

 

[lunarworks]

Translation: Someone is paying attention to me and I want to test the waters. That is all. What you do next is up to you.

"I want this weekend to myself. I'll call you on Monday. OK?"

 

[TheRagnCajun]

Generally the 'i'm just confused and need time to think" explanation means she's found someone else. She's confused about who she likes more. Thats happened to me twice, both times they eventually decided they wanted me - at which point I swiftly rejected them.

 

[Az]

I understand that you care for the girl and all. But for someone to ask you to stay the night and then kick you out at 2am after a phone conversation would be a red flag in my book. The best thing you can do, which is also probably the hardest is play it cool. You were only dating, have no kids together, show her that you don't depend on her. Don't call her, hang out with your guy friends and if she comes back make clear to her that you don't have time to play "I need space" games. If she met someone else, she should be adult enough to tell you.

 

[JimiNutz]

Question for all the people here - have you ever heard from a girl that she needed space, you gave her the space... and you guys eventually got back together and worked stuff out?

OP, if I were you, your best thing to do would be just that - give her space, and not call her or try to contact her or supplicate her. A lot of guys will constantly nag their g/fs asking to take them back, that act only drives the girls further and further away.

And it sucked that TA got perma'd for a minor infraction, he was always one of my favorite posters, definitely one of the most sane and well-read Republicans.

As I posted earlier, a similar thing has happened to me recently.
My girl just suddenly said that she needs space, and like the OPs girl she is going through some stuff at the moment.
She has 'issues' anyway (that I'd rather not go into), but recently she also got over glandular fever and claims she is constantly tired and worn out (although she still goes out with her friends).
When she told me she needed space I automatically assumed that it was the start of the break up process and tried to fight for her by trying to arrange to see her. I think this just makes things worse, so I then told her that I'd give her all the space that she needs.

All it took was 1 day of completely ignoring her (Sunday) and today she made contact - although she made no mention of seeing me anytime soon.
Honestly though, I'm not sure if we're going to get back together, or if anything will be the same between us again. So far though it looks like there is actually a small possibility that she may have just needed a little space after all.
I'll let you guys know what happens...

 

[SnakeSlashRO]

All the shit that I been though, I never had this happen to me :lol


Shes prolly not feeling you, literally. Specially if the friend was a guy.

That or, maybe your abusive or crazy? Clingy?

Give her space. If she doesn't complain about the space then its over. :lol

Psh dudes always need a plan B.

 

[darkwings]

it's over. She kicked you out 2am ffs.

So you were dating for over a year, wouldnt it be time to take the next step? Maybe she thought you were too slow with things.

 

[BronzeWolf]

This girl wants out of the relationship FAST. Don't even bother staying around. End the relationship right now, that way you still keep the upper hand

So her friend's mum passed away? let me put it in clear terms

TOUGH SHIT

We all have hardships in our lives. Most of us get by without alienating our loved ones. In fact, we get closer to our loved ones because of that. Curiously, when you meet someone, these hardships don't matter that much. It's just when they want out that they magically resurface all at once

"Oh yeah, My dad is dead and my dog is dead and my mum's friend is dead and I am broke and unemployed and I don't know what I want in life and I have some issues with that OMG I am ruined"

You weren't saying that yesterday in the sack huh? It's BS

Kicking you out at 2AM was a disrespect.

Stop being a pushover

Tell her straight up: "Listen. I care about you. I am sorry for your friend's loss. Take the time that you need. When you are done with your time and would like to give me a call, give me a call. If I am not around when you call, then I am not around. All the best."

- The end

Do that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

All it took was 1 day of completely ignoring her (Sunday) and today she made contact - although she made no mention of seeing me anytime soon.
Honestly though, I'm not sure if we're going to get back together, or if anything will be the same between us again. So far though it looks like there is actually a small possibility that she may have just needed a little space after all.
I'll let you guys know what happens...

What other options do you have right now? And when I say options, I mean, how many other girls can you call right now, have sex with them and start a relationship right then and there?

 

[lachesis]

I don't see why her friend's mother passing away and OP has anything to do together, unless OP was doing her friend's mother or what not..?

Well, I'd say give her space but don't count on that she'll come back. If she does, good for you, but if not, move on.

 

[Mr.City]

As usual, Hec gets to the heart of the matter. Really? Kicking you out at 2 AM? Why is it that people are so bizarre and inarticulate with what they want?

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

here's a solution, FHUTA the issues out her. (i really wanted to say smack but this being the 21st century and all.....) how disrespectful do you have to be to kick out your boyfriend after you after you ask him to stay the night.

 

[Booser]

I'll echo the sentiment that loved ones - if they genuinely love you - tend to attach to you even more at times of crisis, not pull away. My gf's granmother died three months ago. This was the woman who literally raised my gf when she was small, basically a second mother. She was in bits and wanted / needed me around all the time. She definately didnt push me away.

The best friends mother story being the cause of her problems seems to be BS bro. She has deeper issues here.

Looks to be like she is playing the usual girl trick of keeping guys on a string, or an order of preference. Im not even gonna get started on kicking you at out 2 am........

As a side note "gay" friends in my experience usually turn out to be bisexual when presented with an opportunity to tap that ass. Its like magic.

 

[JimiNutz]

What other options do you have right now? And when I say options, I mean, how many other girls can you call right now, have sex with them and start a relationship right then and there?

As far as getting sex goes, I've got 2 definite and a maybe on my phone (although if I'm honest I don't really want to sleep with any of them right now - maybe when I'm drunk and real horny).
As far as possible relationships go, out of those three girls I could probably start a relationship with one of them - but really I don't want to or I would have already.

I'm a decent enough looking guy though and don't have too much trouble picking up women if I really wanted too. I do like my girl though, and so long as she can sort her shit out, I'd probably rather stay with her.

 

[Gio_CoD]

Question for all the people here - have you ever heard from a girl that she needed space, you gave her the space... and you guys eventually got back together and worked stuff out?

OP, if I were you, your best thing to do would be just that - give her space, and not call her or try to contact her or supplicate her. A lot of guys will constantly nag their g/fs asking to take them back, that act only drives the girls further and further away.

And it sucked that TA got perma'd for a minor infraction, he was always one of my favorite posters, definitely one of the most sane and well-read Republicans.

My girlfriend of two years broke up with me with a "needing space" type excuse. We did eventually get back together (after a month or two), and finally got married a couple of years ago. It works out sometimes, but I recognize I'm in the minority. The needing space thing is usually a death knell.

 

[siddx]

I'm sure it's be said, but to reiterate..

1. It IS you...it's never "them" when they say that cliche'd bullshit

2. Her friend is getting in her ear. Thats why she told you you needed to leave after they talked. The friend is always involved in situations like this to some degree..always.

3. People look to their loved ones in hard times, not push them away. She is using this as an opportunity to do what she has wanted to or thought about doing for a while now.

4. If she does go back to "normal" it's because whatever else she had planned fell through. Either the guy she had her sights on turned out to be a dick, she didn't have the guts to go through with the break up, or one of many other reasons.

 

[JimiNutz]

Quick update from me.
I ignored my girl for a day and she got in contact (although we didn't really say much).
Ignored her again for another day and this time she called and poured her heart out (although it did take a lot of gentle pushing from me to get her to open up).

As I said previously she has 'issues' that I won't go into, but basically she said that she’s been feeling constantly drained and depressed recently and that she's been feeling like she isn't good enough for me and therefore wants to be by herself (sounds like bullshit, and probably is, but she does get quite depressed sometimes so I suppose it is a possibility).
I basically told her that I'm sorry to hear she’s been feeling so bad, but if she's not willing to let me help her, then we might as well just not bother anymore and that we should probably call it a day. I told her I that I do care about her, but I just get frustrated when she shuts me off and refuses to let me help.

We decided that we wouldn't break up completely just yet, and that we're going to scale back the relationship and keep it casual to see if we can make it work like that. This suits me perfectly because I prefer casual relationships anyway, and I'll use this time to set up new pussy. I know that sounds harsh, but realistically I doubt things will ever be the same between us and the relationship is probably beginning its slow painful death. I've decided to make the best of the situation and use this downtime to enjoy myself and start making some moves, without having to deal with all the bullshit break-up stuff at the same time.

 

[Crunchie Lunchie]

I have been through this senario when my other half's parent died. Give her as much space as she needs, but send her a little text messege now and again to tell her that you love her and your are there for her.

There is nothing worse than being over bearing with just wanting to comfort her. I nearly lost my relationship because I wanted to make sure he was ok and coping. She will let you know when she is ready =). Good luck.


---------------------
Reading your update
---------------------

It's great that you decided to work through this hard part of your relationship. She should go see a doctor about her issues.

As for causal relationships, they are never a good idea and will always make things worse. Distance is great but causal is not.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

This is kinda how my last relationship ended.

Her: "I need space."

Me: "What? Is there someone else?"

Her: "No. I just need some time."

Me: "Is there someone else?" with a serious face

Her: "...yeah but we only went out once."

Me: "Get out of my car."

 

[MikeOfTheLivingDead]

My solution to this type of problem?

Buy a bottle of whiskey/vodka/rum. Go over, and say "I know you need time to yourself, so what we're going to do is sit here and drink this bottle of whiskey, and not say a word to each other. Then I'm going to walk home."

There is something about sharing a drink with someone in silence, having that solace but still being in solitude, that is one of the most amazing things in life. You're alone and not alone at the same time. No matter what the differences between two people, you will come out with respect for each other. The outcome is always up in the air, but if you approach it with a positive goal in mind, you'll always get a positive outcome, the only question is whether or not it's the one you'll want.

This is absolutely one of the most pathetic things I've ever heard.

Anyhow, read the update, listen... I've been in this exact situation. I've had the depressed, confused, I don't think I love you enough girlfriend. She might love you, she's not sure, at the very least logically she sees you as someone she can have a future with. There's a problem. There's deffinitely someone else she's interested in. She wants to see this person but she doesn't want to lose you forever or hurt you if things don't work out because she is uncertain about this person. She is going to cheat on you if she hasn't already. It's just a matter of time. Break it off.

In this situation, I don't get angry. I just tell the girl, "Look, I need A, B, and C for this relationship to work. Your excuses aside you've made a concious decision not to invest in this relationship, so good luck, see you around."

 

[Epcott]

Yea shes an only child and so am I :lol

Like i said in the OP shes got some issues that she really needs help she a good person but just need help



Will do

Everyone has issues...
Are you trying to be her savior or something?

If she put you out and says she needs time, focus on someone/something else and move on.

If you go back to her the moment she has time for you (if she ever does), that's really on you. It's not recommended though

 

[Beardz]

Grab your balls and give her his space, don't call her and don't wait for her call, if she calls you treat her like always. Hangout with your friends and don't expect anything from her.

If she want to be with you, she is going to call you, if not, then don't beg, have fun with your friends and move on.

 

[evil ways]

Like someone else said, leave with your dignity intact. Here's a list of things you should avoid:

- crying. telling her that she's hurting you, a.k.a giving her a guilt trip.
- asking her to try work things out.
- telling her you'll always be there for her or some corny shit like that.
- calling to check up on her.

Simply let her know that you respect her decision and that she knows where to find you. Don't put your life on hold, because chances are(if it hasn't happened already) that she'll be on the lookout for new dick as soon as you give her the space. The asking of space is an excuse so she can justify her flirting with someone else without feeling guilty for being a whore.

 

[davepoobond]

did you go over unannounced?

would make sense why she kicked you out at 2 am because she was going to have her "gay" friend come over and fuck the bejeezus out of her around that time.

doesnt really make sense to me why the gay friend had to talk to her outside or whatever (what were they actually talking about?) and not inside the house.

they excluded you from that conversation for a reason.

 

[projekt84]

This is kinda how my last relationship ended.

Her: "I need space."

Me: "What? Is there someone else?"

Her: "No. I just need some time."

Me: "Is there someone else?" with a serious face

Her: "...yeah but we only went out once."

Me: "Get out of my car."

Ha. Nice.

 

[Particle Physicist]

No updates?

I guess things got worse.

 

[lunarworks]

This is kinda how my last relationship ended.

Her: "I need space."

Me: "What? Is there someone else?"

Her: "No. I just need some time."

Me: "Is there someone else?" with a serious face

Her: "...yeah but we only went out once."

Me: "Get out of my car."

You have more guts than I do.

 

[lawlohwhat]

Quick update from me.
I ignored my girl for a day and she got in contact (although we didn't really say much).
Ignored her again for another day and this time she called and poured her heart out (although it did take a lot of gentle pushing from me to get her to open up).

As I said previously she has 'issues' that I won't go into, but basically she said that she’s been feeling constantly drained and depressed recently and that she's been feeling like she isn't good enough for me and therefore wants to be by herself (sounds like bullshit, and probably is, but she does get quite depressed sometimes so I suppose it is a possibility).
I basically told her that I'm sorry to hear she’s been feeling so bad, but if she's not willing to let me help her, then we might as well just not bother anymore and that we should probably call it a day. I told her I that I do care about her, but I just get frustrated when she shuts me off and refuses to let me help.

We decided that we wouldn't break up completely just yet, and that we're going to scale back the relationship and keep it casual to see if we can make it work like that. This suits me perfectly because I prefer casual relationships anyway, and I'll use this time to set up new pussy. I know that sounds harsh, but realistically I doubt things will ever be the same between us and the relationship is probably beginning its slow painful death. I've decided to make the best of the situation and use this downtime to enjoy myself and start making some moves, without having to deal with all the bullshit break-up stuff at the same time.

It's your life to live, but my advice is to get away from this as quickly as possible. It looks like you're more attached to this girl than you should be, considering the circumstances. Yes, ending it will feel shitty, but it will hurt a hell of a lot more when you ultimately find out shes fucking some other guy while 'casually' seeing you and didn't have the heart to tell you. She is not being completely honest with you thinking that it will hurt you less, but she doesn't understand that it's much worse to drag it out. A lot of girls are like this, but especially the younger ones. How old are you two again?

Don't put any emotional stake in it, but there is a chance you could get back together. That won't happen for a period of several months, at least, and the only way you'll be able to do it without going crazy is to get over her and see where you two are at a little later on in your lives.

I know that there's a 99% chance you won't take this advice, but at least give it some thought.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

You have more guts than I do.

She once asked me if I'd fight to win back her love if someone came between us. I flat out said "No, I wouldn't. Any woman that would cheat on me is not worth fighting for."

 

[Masta_Killah]

It's your life to live, but my advice is to get away from this as quickly as possible. It looks like you're more attached to this girl than you should be, considering the circumstances. Yes, ending it will feel shitty, but it will hurt a hell of a lot more when you ultimately find out shes fucking some other guy while 'casually' seeing you and didn't have the heart to tell you. She is not being completely honest with you thinking that it will hurt you less, but she doesn't understand that it's much worse to drag it out. A lot of girls are like this, but especially the younger ones. How old are you two again?

Don't put any emotional stake in it, but there is a chance you could get back together. That won't happen for a period of several months, at least, and the only way you'll be able to do it without going crazy is to get over her and see where you two are at a little later on in your lives.

I know that there's a 99% chance you won't take this advice, but at least give it some thought.

This. Get some breakup sex and move on. Girls like to use the "I need time" excuse to see if their new hookup is worth keeping. The fact that she kicked you out so late at night, after receiving a call from a "friend" should be enough of a hint to GTFO.

 

[Epcott]

Quick update from me.
I ignored my girl for a day and she got in contact (although we didn't really say much).
Ignored her again for another day and this time she called and poured her heart out (although it did take a lot of gentle pushing from me to get her to open up).

As I said previously she has 'issues' that I won't go into, but basically she said that she’s been feeling constantly drained and depressed recently and that she's been feeling like she isn't good enough for me and therefore wants to be by herself (sounds like bullshit, and probably is, but she does get quite depressed sometimes so I suppose it is a possibility).
I basically told her that I'm sorry to hear she’s been feeling so bad, but if she's not willing to let me help her, then we might as well just not bother anymore and that we should probably call it a day. I told her I that I do care about her, but I just get frustrated when she shuts me off and refuses to let me help.

We decided that we wouldn't break up completely just yet, and that we're going to scale back the relationship and keep it casual to see if we can make it work like that. This suits me perfectly because I prefer casual relationships anyway, and I'll use this time to set up new pussy. I know that sounds harsh, but realistically I doubt things will ever be the same between us and the relationship is probably beginning its slow painful death. I've decided to make the best of the situation and use this downtime to enjoy myself and start making some moves, without having to deal with all the bullshit break-up stuff at the same time.

Hope that works out for you. I've been told (and sometimes noticed) that women are more prone to flirt and talk to you if they realize you're in a relationship... or one that's on it's way out. So I guess you can use that to your advantage... if you really want to go through a slow break up like this.

And here's good advice that my older brother had told me, that I wish I had followed (concerning her "issues") so I'll pass it along: Avoid traumatized women at all costs. They have a way of sabotaging their relationships and dragging you down with them if you let them.

You can be a boyfriend, but you can't be their psychiatrist... unless you're authorized or a glutton for punishment

 

[JimiNutz]

No update from the OP?
I got an email from my girls best friend yesterday telling me how worried she is about her because she's so down at the moment. Her friend reassured me that my girl 'really, really likes me' and tried to convince me to give her something small for Valentines day as a good will gesture in the hope that it will cheer her up. I'm probably a sucker, because I ordered a small bunch of roses to be delivered to her house today.

Sure enough my girl contacted me straight away and seems to be in better spirits. I dunno, part of me is beginning to think that maybe I've got way too cynical, that I always expect the worst in women (or people in general)?
Maybe she is just going through a really rough time?
The more sensible part of me is thinking that even if she was going through a rough patch, that's no excuse to just start ignoring me and cutting me out completely.

I think I'll just wait and see how this one plays out. I'm probably going out tomorrow night and I will be checking out other girls and making some moves to hook something up. At the same time I won't cut off my girl completely because I'm thinking that maybe I've been too paranoid. The moment anything like this happens again though (this is the second time in 4 months!) it's over without a moments hesitation. I believe in giving people a couple chances (so long as it's nothing majorly bad like cheating), but 3 strikes and she's definitely out.

 

[polyh3dron]

She found new dick.

Honestly though, the best thing to do in that situation is find a new chick, then she'll have all the space she needs.

Whether you do that or not, don't initiate contact with her at all for the time being. Not even a text.

And by all fucking means do not get her shit for V-day. ESPECIALLY not roses. Worst thing you can do with a broad that wants space, speaking from experience. If she feels smothered now, those roses will only exacerbate the issue.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

No update from the OP?
I got an email from my girls best friend yesterday telling me how worried she is about her because she's so down at the moment. Her friend reassured me that my girl 'really, really likes me' and tried to convince me to give her something small for Valentines day as a good will gesture in the hope that it will cheer her up. I'm probably a sucker, because I ordered a small bunch of roses to be delivered to her house today.

You sure are.

Sure enough my girl contacted me straight away and seems to be in better spirits. I dunno, part of me is beginning to think that maybe I've got way too cynical, that I always expect the worst in women (or people in general)?
Maybe she is just going through a really rough time?
The more sensible part of me is thinking that even if she was going through a rough patch, that's no excuse to just start ignoring me and cutting me out completely.

No, there really is no excuse for cutting you off completely. When people really care about you, they don't ignore you. They want you to be around all the time especially in a rough situation.

I think I'll just wait and see how this one plays out. I'm probably going out tomorrow night and I will be checking out other girls and making some moves to hook something up. At the same time I won't cut off my girl completely because I'm thinking that maybe I've been too paranoid. The moment anything like this happens again though (this is the second time in 4 months!) it's over without a moments hesitation. I believe in giving people a couple chances (so long as it's nothing majorly bad like cheating), but 3 strikes and she's definitely out.

You should bail out right there. Twice in 4 months? Usually the first stages of a relationship (first couple of months) is very passionate; nothing to do with ignoring you or asking for space.

My advice is to bail out and find someone else that will appreciate you. When you find that next person, you will look back at this and laugh.

 

[JimiNutz]

The funny thing about all this advise that I'm receiving is that it's exactly the way that I usually think. If I were sitting here reading what I'd just written, I'd be offering the guy the exact same advice! :lol
Everyone that I've discussed this with that DOESN'T know her personally has told me to jump ship ASAP. However the people that do know her (and some of these people are my friends, not hers) are telling me that she probably is just going through a rough patch and that at the very least I should give her a chance.
The thing is, I don't think she's cheating or even thinking about it, but I know that she's very weak emotionally and I'm not sure that I want to be in a relationship with someone like that. She a very sweet girl, and pretty cute, but she doesn't handle things well and just falls apart when things go even slightly wrong for her. She has awful communication skills and just seems to completely shut down. The nice side of me wants to help her and look after her, but my more selfish side wants nothing to do with someone so weak.

The way I see it, is that I've got nothing to loose by sticking with her. If/when we break up it's not me that's going to be an emotional wreck and fall to pieces. I must admit that when she said she needed space and started ignoring me, it did kind of hit me by surprise because it seemed like that classic signs of an inevitable break up - and I never thought she'd be the one to try and break up with me! (probably my arrogance shining through there :lol)

The truth is that the shock/hurt only lasted a day or two, and I'm pretty resilient/battle hardened when it comes to this relationship bullshit because I had a couple relationships that went very sour at a young age.
Those experiences taught me a lot, and IMO made me stronger emotionally, so I really don't think this girl could ever hurt me (at least not for very long anyway).

I dunno maybe I'm being a little cocky or reckless, but I really don't think I can loose in this situation. If she eventually gets a hold of her emotions, and learns to communicate properly, then maybe we could have something. If she can't (which I know is more likely), fuck it, I'll ditch her and move on.

BTW the roses seemed to work out great because she's gone from barely speaking to me, to trying to contact me all the time. Guess she likes roses :lol

 

[SapientWolf]

This is kinda how my last relationship ended.

Her: "I need space."

Me: "What? Is there someone else?"

Her: "No. I just need some time."

Me: "Is there someone else?" with a serious face

Her: "...yeah but we only went out once."

Me: "Get out of my car."

If everyone here was like James we wouldn't have any girl-age threads.

I got 99 problems...

 

[raphier]

Sounds like the situation I was involved in, when my cousin (girl) needed some time from her relationship, they eventually broke off. The situation involved some drama, which is not how I got in btw, but from what I gathered, the boyfriend got into a carcrash and this happened.

Apparently, she was so shocked and started see a new angle in their relationship that made her afraid of getting "too far" as in getting married or something like that. Maybe she noticed that she cared about him too much, I don't know, can't tell.

This happened few years ago and now their back again after all these years, as I've heard and they're engaged.

 

[Epsilon-delta]

The funny thing about all this advise that I'm receiving is that it's exactly the way that I usually think. If I were sitting here reading what I'd just written, I'd be offering the guy the exact same advice! :lol
Everyone that I've discussed this with that DOESN'T know her personally has told me to jump ship ASAP. However the people that do know her (and some of these people are my friends, not hers) are telling me that she probably is just going through a rough patch and that at the very least I should give her a chance.

People have a tendency to believe in things that are fine and dandy. Denial and the cold hard truth is a bitter pill to swallow.

BTW the roses seemed to work out great because she's gone from barely speaking to me, to trying to contact me all the time. Guess she likes roses :lol

Any girl would come around if she knew that she can ignore someone completely and they still buy her stuff. :lol

 

[JimiNutz]

Still no update from OP?
I'm about to go and spend the weekend with my girl. It's the first time that we've spent a significant amount of time together in over a month!

We'll see soon enough if it's a good idea...

 

[Colonel Mustard]

It's unlikely she really wants space. I'd maybe ask her how she wants things to go.

I've really only encountered one girl that actually meant she needed time to clear her head. During these two weeks, I saw less than usual but soon enough she snapped out of it and everything was back to normal. (Her mom had just died in a car crash, by the way.)

 

[Nakazato]

Update: we were back together for a week and last night she was stressing me out (nagging,bitching,Complaining) so i exploded over the phone and she said fuck it. So long story short.... We are likely done and Im not to upset about it.

 

[SmokyDave]

Update: we were back together for a week and last night she was stressing me out (nagging,bitching,Complaining) so i exploded over the phone and she said fuck it. So long story short.... We are likely done and Im not to upset about it.

You shouldn't be. That 2am kicking out smells fishier than Baldricks apple crumble.

You sound like a really nice guy, I'm sure things will work out for you elsewhere.

 

[elwes]

Still no update from OP?
I'm about to go and spend the weekend with my girl. It's the first time that we've spent a significant amount of time together in over a month!

We'll see soon enough if it's a good idea...

Good luck, man. Reading your post before this one, you and I have alot in common as far as prior dating experiences and how they've shaped us.

My current g/f and I are going through a rough patch, with last night being a particularly bad night. She just doesn't know how to cope with her problems and will explode at the most random, unimportant things. She vacuums up all of the bullshit in her life, keeps it inside, and any small disturbance sets her off.

It's gotten to the point where I honestly do not want to deal with it anymore, and if she doesn't learn to deal with life and all of its little hardships in a way that doesn't impact "us" to the degree that it has, I'm done.

She is not the kind of person to "need space," though. Quite the opposite, actually. She gets REALLY clingy which is another reason why things need to change. She can't understand that when we're having an argument, I'm the one that needs space. Like, seriously, 10 minutes to cool down, then I'm good. Ugh.




But on a side note, I've never gotten the "lining up pussy" mentality that people have. I get it that, to alot of people, relationships themselves aren't anything super important. Especially if that relationship was a short one. But if you're getting out of a bad relationship, why would you want to complicate your life again so soon? Even the best relationship takes alot of patience, understanding, and time. Even if it is just sex, sex in itself never makes things less complicated. In my opinion, the sex that isn't complicated is the kind of sex that has the potential to keep on giving long after it's over.

I'd much rather take some time after any kind of relationship and enjoy being single. Life is much less cluttered.