I don't see how you keep a very young child from running into a dangerous place or something without hurting them physically in some way. Like, how else are you supposed to get the point across?
Ill concede you're smarter & know more than me & give up as i dont know what im discussing with you now.. good?Right, apparently dogs get the benefit of more patience and consideration of their mental faculties.
There's really not a time and place for everything.Im not saying I'm right or wrong I got smacks as a child I new they'd be coming because of what I'd done I would never say it was abused. One way does not fit all but going in the totally opposite direction doesn't work either. There's a time and a place for everything thats the issue nowdays its all or nothing
Read aboveThere's really not a time and place for everything.
As a kid I didn't get got, but when I was grounded and bored for a day or two I wishes I just got spanked. After all, spanking lasts a couple minutes max, grounding lasts far longer. Being spanked was far easier and not efficient in my mind. Guess your daughter and I think alike.
So you are ok with being an abuser.Yes, a slap. When, I being the parent, think he or she deserves it.
Don't hit your children.
So you are ok with being an abuser.
There is no obscure line here that you keep imagining. Abuse is abuse, violence is violence. If someone slapped your child, you'd be furious because someone used violence on your child. It doesn't change into something else because it's some idiotic, ignorant teaching moment of a lazy, impatient parent with no self-control.Lol. Yeah sure buddy.
We ignore actual science in favour of anecdotes.
Animals should never be hit. Hitting a kid is okay.
Raising a kid is inconvenient and difficult. Short cuts are needed sometimes.
I expect a child to know or do better but dont expect the same out of myself.
Not every kid is the same, dont judge! (Despite the fact parents like me inherently have a way more difficult time and understand that physical punishment is wrong AND unnecessary.)
I want this to sink in. You want the best for your kid we all do. Please consider for one minute that the old way isnt the okay way - and it has actual scientific basis. Anecdotal evidence is not evidence. You can punish and talk to ANY child without using violence claiming otherwise is absolutely bullshit.
As a general consensus we (neogaf) laugh at flat earth. We laugh at ani-vaxxers, we get furious at them for harming their kids and other kids because of their anti-science stance.
I cant even make a good point because it actually pisses me off so fucking much that a forum like this is debating something like HITTING A FUCKING CHILD is okay in any scenario at all, ever. What I would give to have one of your normal kids that just need that smacking to get the point across.
Ugh, I am so grossed out. Guess this is what triggered feels like.
So you're just going to grumble about how everything is all or nothing now, then leave out of a conversation because logical arguments are disagreeing with you...seems all or nothing thatRead above
Good postI grew up getting a smack on the wrist, like someone else said in this thread, it wasn't sore, it was an understanding in an instant that I was wrong, I was bad, people are angry at me. My mum never hit me to hurt me, it was a quick signal to stop. Especially if I was hyper, or acting up and not listening. I think it worked, it would either calm me down, make me stop and listen, or cry because I have wronged my mum. Life is full of learning experiences, sometimes a painless slap on the wrist was what I needed to 'come down' so to speak.
It seems a percentage of people on this forum think this is a form of child abuse and I should have been put into foster care for the wickedness I enjured from my mother, who clearly took pleasure in such sick forms expression. So she should be locked up.
No, people need to chill out a little here. A slap on the wrist/bum does not equate to beating a child bloody. Calm your jets folks.
And people comparing dogs to kids, you clearly have never had to deal with both if your able to compare them so easily.
If you have a kid that's able to be chill and respect you then I agree, don't use any physical signals. But some kids can be irratic and can't/won't listen (not even counting those with disabilities that parents are unaware of).
I see an awful lot of finger pointing and disgusting language/accusations being thrown at people who are just adding to a conversation.
I grew up getting a smack on the wrist, like someone else said in this thread, it wasn't sore, it was an understanding in an instant that I was wrong, I was bad, people are angry at me. My mum never hit me to hurt me, it was a quick signal to stop. Especially if I was hyper, or acting up and not listening. I think it worked, it would either calm me down, make me stop and listen, or cry because I have wronged my mum. Life is full of learning experiences, sometimes a painless slap on the wrist was what I needed to 'come down' so to speak.
It seems a percentage of people on this forum think this is a form of child abuse and I should have been put into foster care for the wickedness I enjured from my mother, who clearly took pleasure in such sick forms expression. So she should be locked up.
No, people need to chill out a little here. A slap on the wrist/bum does not equate to beating a child bloody. Calm your jets folks.
And people comparing dogs to kids, you clearly have never had to deal with both if your able to compare them so easily.
If you have a kid that's able to be chill and respect you then I agree, don't use any physical signals. But some kids can be irratic and can't/won't listen (not even counting those with disabilities that parents are unaware of).
I see an awful lot of finger pointing and disgusting language/accusations being thrown at people who are just adding to a conversation.
The quote above you explains it better than i could my problem is I cant put words like that togetherSo you're just going to grumble about how everything is all or nothing now, then leave out of a conversation because logical arguments are disagreeing with you...seems all or nothing that
OK, so punishing your kid physically can be avoided in all circumstances, no matter the kid, and it's altogether better for their mental health. No one responded to my post about making the kid scared of consequences without being scared of ME. Can anyone offer suggestions?
No.
No.
No.
I've never heard anyone be pro physical punishment, without them starting the argument with "My mom hit me and I deserved it".
Just shows that anyone pro punishment, are basically saying "I went through it, so y'all should", since they as well as everyone else, know that there are no benefits to it when looking at the science and research.
There is no obscure line here that you keep imagining. Abuse is abuse, violence is violence. If someone slapped your child, you'd be furious because someone used violence on your child. It doesn't change into something else because it's some idiotic, ignorant teaching moment of a lazy, impatient parent with no self-control.
That's not how shit works. If you deliberately inflict physical pain on a child, no matter what the motive, that is violence. That is abuse.
A slap on the wrist is not what people mean when they talk physical punishemnt. Even then, I'd only do that if some small child was about to touch something hot or something, to get them to react and quickly pull their hand back before the actually harmful accident happens. Otherwise I'd just grab the hand and pull it away and say "don't do that because of X", no need to cause pain for someone if you can avoid it.I grew up getting a smack on the wrist, like someone else said in this thread, it wasn't sore, it was an understanding in an instant that I was wrong, I was bad, people are angry at me. My mum never hit me to hurt me, it was a quick signal to stop. Especially if I was hyper, or acting up and not listening. I think it worked, it would either calm me down, make me stop and listen, or cry because I have wronged my mum. Life is full of learning experiences, sometimes a painless slap on the wrist was what I needed to 'come down' so to speak.
It seems a percentage of people on this forum think this is a form of child abuse and I should have been put into foster care for the wickedness I enjured from my mother, who clearly took pleasure in such sick forms expression. So she should be locked up.
No, people need to chill out a little here. A slap on the wrist/bum does not equate to beating a child bloody. Calm your jets folks.
And people comparing dogs to kids, you clearly have never had to deal with both if your able to compare them so easily.
If you have a kid that's able to be chill and respect you then I agree, don't use any physical signals. But some kids can be irratic and can't/won't listen (not even counting those with disabilities that parents are unaware of).
I see an awful lot of finger pointing and disgusting language/accusations being thrown at people who are just adding to a conversation.
A lot of stuff isn't black & white. Hitting your child is a black & white issue.Everything is not black and white either my friend. You can give physical punishment without being abusive. What I'm saying is okay won't put a child in a mental institution or cause long term damage. I'm not saying I would do that in every situation or to toddlers. Sometimes, one slap or two on the wrist/arm is okay for them to know what they did has serious consequences.
And what? I'm doing that to my own child and not anybody else's. I love them more than anything and will do what I think makes them understand and learn best.
Also way to assume that I would do it with no control.
Everything is not black and white either my friend. You can give physical punishment without being abusive. What I'm saying is okay won't put a child in a mental institution or cause long term damage. I'm not saying I would do that in every situation or to toddlers. Sometimes, one slap or two on the wrist/arm is okay for them to know what they did has serious consequences.
And what? I'm doing that to my own child and not anybody else's. I love them more than anything and will do what I think makes them understand and learn best.
Also way to assume that I would do it with no control.
This is exactly what I've been meaning this whole time FFS...A slap on the wrist is not what people mean when they talk physical punishemnt. Even then, I'd only do that if some small child was about to touch something hot or something, to get them to react and quickly pull their hand back before the actually harmful accident happens. Otherwise I'd just grab the hand and pull it away and say "don't do that because of X", no need to cause pain for someone if you can avoid it.
This is about PUNISHMENT. More picking up the child, putting them on your lap and then slapping them on the bum a few times, not something that is less of a punishment and more of a reactionary "don't do that".
You as the adult & parent should be the one with patience to deal with the BS that the child that you voluntarily chose to bring into this world does. You decided to reproduce so don't go for shortcuts that quite likely don't work and at worst can harm your child.
What's a good way to instate humility in a child without embarrassing them or harming their self esteem? I was planning on just being realistic. Like, you ain't shit, get used to it. I love you though.
Note: my kids will pass for white
Sorry to hear about that mateMy father was a monster to my siblings with brutal beatings at times. Luckily I was spared most of it, but I'll never respect him for how he beat my sister with a hose next room from me and left her bruised for weeks. I've also heard stories of him doing the same to my brother before I was born or was too young to remember.
My father is 82 years old now.
It's very unlikely that I will ever have children so it's not something I think about.
No.
No.
No.
I've never heard anyone be pro physical punishment, without them starting the argument with "My mom hit me and I deserved it".
Just shows that anyone pro punishment, are basically saying "I went through it, so y'all should", since they as well as everyone else, know that there are no benefits to it when looking at the science and research.
Violence is black and white. There is no acceptable form of violence. I mean, a "slap" can be a lot of things, if it causes pain it's too much. There is no other line to be drawn.
A lot of stuff isn't black & white. Hitting your child is a black & white issue.
You're on the cusp of asking for advice on how to emotionally abuse your children. If the kids are old enough to argue with you, listen to them. You respect them, they see that but they still don't win every argument. They know that there are boundaries, and they respect you. No need for hitting or making them believe they "ain't shit."
A slap can be full blooded on the face or a lighter one on the shoulder or back of the head to grab some serious attention. I don't think you guys are able to distinguish the difference between the two. If you think they are both one and the same thing then I have nothing else to say.
If you are just basically tapping them on the shoulder, that's not much of a slap or what people are arguing about.A slap can be full blooded on the face or a lighter one on the shoulder or back of the head to grab some serious attention. I don't think you guys are able to distinguish the difference between the two. If you think they are both one and the same thing then I have nothing else to say.
Equally I don't think a majority of parents should be deciding what is an acceptable level of physical harm to enforce discipline. The child is not able to express whether it was an unacceptable level, so we should just trust parents because they supposedly know better?A slap can be full blooded on the face or a lighter one on the shoulder or back of the head to grab some serious attention. I don't think you guys are able to distinguish the difference between the two. If you think they are both one and the same thing then I have nothing else to say.
This is what ive been meaning this whole time but you keep disagreeing with me?If you are just basically tapping them on the shoulder, that's not much of a slap or what people are arguing about.
I grew up getting a smack on the wrist, like someone else said in this thread, it wasn't sore, it was an understanding in an instant that I was wrong, I was bad, people are angry at me. My mum never hit me to hurt me, it was a quick signal to stop. Especially if I was hyper, or acting up and not listening. I think it worked, it would either calm me down, make me stop and listen, or cry because I have wronged my mum. Life is full of learning experiences, sometimes a painless slap on the wrist was what I needed to 'come down' so to speak.
It seems a percentage of people on this forum think this is a form of child abuse and I should have been put into foster care for the wickedness I enjured from my mother, who clearly took pleasure in such sick forms expression. So she should be locked up.
No, people need to chill out a little here. A slap on the wrist/bum does not equate to beating a child bloody. Calm your jets folks.
And people comparing dogs to kids, you clearly have never had to deal with both if your able to compare them so easily.
If you have a kid that's able to be chill and respect you then I agree, don't use any physical signals. But some kids can be irratic and can't/won't listen (not even counting those with disabilities that parents are unaware of).
I see an awful lot of finger pointing and disgusting language/accusations being thrown at people who are just adding to a conversation.
Good post
I was the one that had his post changed to dogs i honestly give up as i was getting slightly confused
What?And now we've got to endure your endless justifications for your view that, while hurting a dog is wrong, hurting a human is okay. I think "slightly confused" is a wild exaggeration.
This is what ive been meaning this whole time but you keep disagreeing with me?
I was smacked probably 5 or 6 times as a kid same as my daughter somehow people hear smack & they picture someone getting a beating.. thats not what people mean when talking about a smack
As long as it's more of a "hey, pay attention" noticeable tap but nowhere near something that will cause pain, then there's no problem. The second we go to "it causes pain" (even if a little bit), then it's wrong in any & all situations. If the child is like "oww, that hurt", then you as the adult should apologize because it's not ok to harm someone to get their attention.This is what ive been meaning this whole time but you keep disagreeing with me?
Children need discipline.
Time outs are bullshit.
I will definitely hit my kids if I need to. I hope I don't have to, but if it's necessary, then I will. Children need discipline. Time outs are bullshit.
Discipline doesn't mean violence. I hope someone reports your ass if they ever see you physically abusing your children.I will definitely hit my kids if I need to. I hope I don't have to, but if it's necessary, then I will. Children need discipline. Time outs are bullshit.