bigboss370
Member
I need more friends >_>
I'd love to have someone post some links that discuss the matter more deeply, but I would fathom that what makes them easy to stigmatise is that they're "invisible" sufferings. For a long time I think I felt grossly insecure, without anyone around me noticing - in fact, because I had so low self-esteem, I would act only more confident in social situations, which made it even harder for anyone to consider that I was actually very down. As Stephen Fry writes, you can be one of the most popular people in the world and still feel lonely.
I think part of the situation also is then that you're dealing with other people's expectations, and concern that they may not believe you if you tell them that you do have a mental illness. If you're physically handicapped, show people a missing limb and they're likely to understand why. There's no real way that you can "show" people that you're depressed or lonely, hence the ridicule that ME often receives as a condition.
“How can someone so well-off, well-known and successful have depression?” they ask. Alastair Campbell in a marvelous article, suggested changing the word “depression” to “cancer” or “diabetes” in order to reveal how, in its own way, sick a question, it is. Ill-natured, ill-informed, ill-willed or just plain ill, it’s hard to say.
But, most people, a surging, warm, caring majority, have been kind. Almost too kind. There’s something a little flustering and embarrassing when a taxi-driver shakes you by the hand, looks deep into your eyes and says “You look after yourself, mate, yes? Promise me?” And there’s something perhaps not too helpful to one’s mental health when it is the only subject people want to talk to you about, however kindly or for whatever reasons.
I need more friends >_>
Shut up Rattrap.We're all going to die.
that second paragraph reminded of the 'avowed' and 'disavowed' type of Stigma that Ervin Goffman put forward at the time. One type of 'blemish of the self', as he refers to it, can only be claimed (avowed), since it can't be hidden. The other type however, can be hidden until revealed (denied / disavowed), to which depression and / or loneliness might belong as well.
Maybe it's the association with stigma that gets us all confused. Where admitting that one is lonely, is thought to be something 'worth' of stigma, despite it not having any real claim as such. It's just a statement about a feeling, but perhaps too private to simply shared with strangers.
After my marriage went to the shitter my only friends were gaf and podcasts and that worked. It certainly wasn't ideal but I don't know WHERE I'd be without podcasts to be my friends
Christ that's pathetic sounding.
I know what you mean man. I really liked listening to a groups of friends talk about a topic. Closest thing I had to friends.
I think I follow, but I'm not quite sure. Do you have a link to where Goffman discusses this?
But the real question should be the one raised in the article: why are social isolation and depression even stigmatized to begin with? What is gained from ignoring it?
What exactly do these people die from? I mean what if their dietary and exercise habits are excellent and they get frequent health checkups?
We're all going to die.
The government needs to make sure everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend in order to ensure the health of it's people.
The increased mortality risk is comparable to that from smoking. And loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity.
Torhthelm Tídwald;78275089 said:On a serious note, there are government policies that could help. The current suburban lifestyle tends to isolate people from each other and increase loneliness, if they had focused on a more dense, urban development scheme, people would be much happier. This doubly effects the poor and elderly: If you live in the suburbs and can't afford a car or can't drive, you are shit out of luck. And since our current suburb style also contributes to obesity and hurts the environment, it's got to be one of the worst policies out there.
eventually.
But that's not the point.
Haha. How about no?
So loneliness gives me cancer and heart attacks?
I am sorry for being cynical but I can not see how loneliness can be just as terrible, especially if social interaction is a simple walk out of the door. There is no walking away from cancer or heart failures.
Back in the day, I feel, there were more community events. How cool would it be if your local PD threw a block party? No agenda, no message. You just got to hang out with your community. I bet crime rates would plummet. And you'd get to know the officers walking a beat so you'd feel comfortable telling them useful tips.
Yeah, I sort of want to live in a hippie commune sometimes
So loneliness gives me cancer and heart attacks?
I am sorry for being cynical but I can not see how loneliness can be just as terrible, especially if social interaction is a simple walk out of the door. There is no walking away from cancer or heart failures.
ohh shit. now I don't know who to believe
feeling stressed and shitty can make you get sick
One of my fantasies is to live in some small, (in my imagination) European-style town or village where everything is within walking distance or there is reliable and comprehensive public transport.
Yes. I knew that.
my post wasn't serious
The problem is that FB has made me aware of how shallow and sick in the head a lot of people are... and thus it has decreased my intent on socializing with them or meeting new folks... you'd think humankind would be a bit more advanced in our current time and age psychologically speaking... alas... that does not seem to be the case... reading trough FB posts often makes me feel nauseated.
We're all going to die.
Yes. I knew that.
my post wasn't serious
So loneliness gives me cancer and heart attacks?
I am sorry for being cynical but I can not see how loneliness can be just as terrible, especially if social interaction is a simple walk out of the door. There is no walking away from cancer or heart failures.
He admitted that on an airplane he once became acutely embarrassed while holding a copy of his own book, which had the word Loneliness emblazoned on the front cover.
Why would he read his own book?
Some of you probably won't take this serious but if you want to meet very pleasant and out reaching people, try church. I started going to church recently and man oh man, the love I get from the congregation is nothing like i've experienced before. Even more then friends I had from high school and elementary. I even found church members in my age group (24 25 26) that hold bibles studies at their house, and we have dinner and such. Trust me, its so good I even had a dream about th bible study last night and even in the dream the love was overwhelming. I couldn't help but continue smiling after I woke up. Great people.
So does posting on GAF count as social interaction?