LIFE'S A BITCH, THEN YOU PLAY INTERNATIONAL RUGBY CHALLENGE
International Rugby Challenge is bad. But exactly how bad is it? We decided to set up a scientific comparative test with some of the most-bad things we could think of in an attempt to find out precisely the scale of this software crime.
THE WAR IN BOSNIA
Hundreds of thousands of deaths, terrible atrocities committed in the name of 'ethnic cleansing', the disintegration of entire nations into endless warring factions pitting brother against brother and father against son.
Badness Rating: Not Nearly As Bad As International Rugby Challenge.
THE FAMINE IN SOMALIA
Hundreds of thousands of deaths, relief supplies being looted and plundered by corrupt officials, starving people being shot by the opposing sides in a prolonged and pointless civil war.
Badness Rating: Close To, But Not Quite As Bad As, International Rugby Challenge.
THE RODNEY KING BEATING
Slight speeding offence punished by life-threatening assault with heavily weighted sticks, perpetrated by four armed police officers against defenceless man lying motionless on the ground. Led to huge riots in Los Angeles area, causing millions of dollars' worth of damage and several deaths.
Badness Rating: Approximately Half As Bad As International Rugby Challenge.
DEPLETION OF THE OZONE LAYER
Wanton destruction of section of the planet's atmosphere by entire population. Causes increased incidence of skin cancer and global warming, which in turn brings on melting of the polar ice caps, causing widespread flooding of much of the world's arable land and hence massive food shortages. Combination of these effects almost certain to lead to complete eradication of human life on the planet within the next 200 years.
Badness Rating: Would cause death of Jeremy Beadle, therefore Still Not As Bad As International Rugby Challenge.
HAVING ELECTRODES ATTACHED TO YOUR GENITALS AND BEING FLOGGED SENSELESS WITH A KNOTTED ROPE
Self-explanatory, really.
Badness Rating: Actually, This One Probably Is As Bad As International Rugby Challenge. But It's A Close Thing.
UPPERS: The manual is slightly amusing, albeit useless as far as helping you play the game goes.
DOWNERS: We'd need the whole magazine.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Quite simply, the worst game I've seen since I started playing video games with Pong back in 1977 or thereabouts. I'm not exaggerating. In your worst nightmares, you couldn't even begin to imagine anything as appalling as this.
Half of the following score is for comedy value.
2 PERCENT