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The realization that I have Aphantasia is driving me crazy

Sera O

Banned
I just think in words and concepts. Like if you say Shakespeare I think of plays and sonnets. If you ask me to draw Mickey Mouse, I know conceptually that he has big round ears and a swoopy nose. I could maybe draw a rough sketch. Drawing is very hard for me without a model of some sort though.

I dunno if I have the condition or what marks it. I never really looked into it. I'm fine as I am.

That's cool to think about how different people learn and remember things. As a kid, I remember a teacher talking about making a memory house and visualizing shelves and pictures in rooms. Students who less oriented towards visualizing things must have thought it was total bullshit!

My brain prefers daydreaming to perceiving. I can miss what's actually going on around me if I'm not careful, so keeping track of what's going on around me sometimes takes conscious effort. I also tended to have really terrifying nightmares when I was young because I would imagine scary shit in way too much detail.
 
I can't lucid dream (jealous), but yeah, plot summary. That's a great analogy.

I also get lost easily. No sense of direction. You guys also?

Coincidentally, reading plot summaries can make a show / movie almost as enjoyable a few days out as seeing the actual movie. Actually watching is still better, obviously, but not by thaaaat much.

I wonder if this is why I don’t mind rewatching stuff that much. I saw Fellowship of the Rings 13+ times in theaters for example. It felt fresh every time because I was never able to relive it.
 

gforguava

Member
I've always wondered if I have this or not, the idea of "picturing" something is so vague that I'm not sure.

I mean since I can't know anyone else's experiences I don't really know what anyone truly means when they say they "picture" something in their mind. Do they actually conjure an image that they see as if with their eyes? Or is like me where the idea of a thing gets in my head but I definitely don't "see" anything.

I'm thinking about the duel between Luke and Vader in Empire, I know it and can "picture" it, but there is no image that appears. Luke climbing the piping and Vader says "Impressive." *swings saber* "Most impressive.", I know these moments, they exist in my mind but I don't see it.
 

III-V

Member
It sounds like at least you have some 'mind's' ear and nose, and perhaps you can learn to access this since you are able to visualize dreams.
 
Well OP I just told your story to a group of my friends and one of them is now freaking out at the realization that other people experience things differently than him. I find this so fascinating.
 

hirokazu

Member
Not sure if I can be fully be counted in that group.

But the way you've explained it, makes sense to me as that's how my experience is as well.

It doesn't come easy to visualise anything, even when I do it's very vague and not with clarity, but it's not always like that. I've had times where it's very vivid.

For example dreaming, I don't remember my dreams 90% (From what I understand everyone dreams) of the time but I've had some dreams where it felt incredibly realistic. It's a pretty inconsistent experience.

Weirdly enough, I don't have huge problems being creative and my visual memory is very good.
I think some of you are falling into the self-diagnosing on the internet trap. You sound like you fall within the normal range of people who don't have this condition.
 
This is one of those things where, like, I have no idea how to tell if I am one of these people. I remember thinking about it a lot after the last thread on it, and I still feeling inconclusive. Like, am I really not able to visualize things like most people do? Or am I just misunderstanding how real their visualizations are when they describe them, and I'm just doing things normally. I've got no clue.
 

reckless

Member
That's cool to think about how different people learn and remember things. As a kid, I remember a teacher talking about making a memory house and visualizing shelves and pictures in rooms. Students who less oriented towards visualizing things must have thought it was total bullshit!

My brain prefers daydreaming to perceiving. I can miss what's actually going on around me if I'm not careful, so keeping track of what's going on around me sometimes takes conscious effort. I also tended to have really terrifying nightmares when I was young because I would imagine scary shit in way too much detail.

I definitely thought that way of memorizing stuff was bullshit. Never understood how that was supposed to work.
 

sphagnum

Banned
I've always wondered if I have this or not, the idea of "picturing" something is so vague that I'm not sure.

I mean since I can't know anyone else's experiences I don't really know what anyone truly means when they say they "picture" something in their mind. Do they actually conjure an image that they see as if with their eyes? Or is like me where the idea of a thing gets in my head but I definitely don't "see" anything.

I'm thinking about the duel between Luke and Vader in Empire, I know it and can "picture" it, but there is no image that appears. Luke climbing the piping and Vader says "Impressive." *swings saber* "Most impressive.", I know these moments, they exist in my mind but I don't see it.

I see it, perhaps more vividly than most things since I've seen this scene a billion times, but I can see it. The precise lightsaber swings like when Vader and Luke are locked in combat in the middle of the platform and they wack the side bar and the sparks fly off, or when Luke nabs Vader in the shoulder and he cuts his hand off right after. It's all there.

I guess when Kylo Ren reads Rey's mind some people didn't start imagining the island huh?
 
That's cool to think about how different people learn and remember things. As a kid, I remember a teacher talking about making a memory house and visualizing shelves and pictures in rooms. Students who less oriented towards visualizing things must have thought it was total bullshit!

My brain prefers daydreaming to perceiving. I can miss what's actually going on around me if I'm not careful, so keeping track of what's going on around me sometimes takes conscious effort. I also tended to have really terrifying nightmares when I was young because I would imagine scary shit in way too much detail.

LOL I would have definitely thought that was total bullshit. I do have very vivid nightmares so I expect I could be "trained" to visualize but it's whatever. I'm fine with it. I've already got all my learning and memory strategies in place and since I'm an academic, I kind of don't want to mess with that.

Coincidentally, reading plot summaries can make a show / movie almost as enjoyable a few days out as seeing the actual movie. Actually watching is still better, obviously, but not by thaaaat much.

I wonder if this is why I don’t mind rewatching stuff that much. I saw Fellowship of the Rings 13+ times in theaters for example. It felt fresh every time because I was never able to relive it.

I love reading plot summaries of things for similar reasons. I often don't mind getting spoiled, either.

Funnily enough, I have an MFA in creative writing and my writing has always been praised as very visual and descriptive. But like, for my thesis, I had to find a town that was similar to the one I was creating and I took thousands of pictures over a weekend there so I could construct this idea and map and sets of images in order to describe in such detail.
 

Gaardus

Member
Holy shit. I also have this. I’m mind blown right now.



Wait. So you can see an imaginary picture with your eyes open full stop?

Fuck.
I can only speak for myself, but when I visualize things, it happens separately from my actual eyesight; I can still see the things around me (or the darkness of having my eyes closed). It happens "in" my mind rather than my eyes, and there's (almost?) never confusion over which is which.
 

Sawneeks

Banned
This is one of those things where, like, I have no idea how to tell if I am one of these people. I remember thinking about it a lot after the last thread on it, and I still feeling inconclusive. Like, am I really not able to visualize things like most people do? Or am I just misunderstanding how real their visualizations are when they describe them, and I'm just doing things normally. I've got no clue.

So I was just talking to someone the other day about this exact same phenomenon and we tried figuring out a way to tell if you do have this or not. What I asked him was this: Say you're driving a car and you need to change lanes. When you decide to change lanes, do you picture yourself moving the car over do you just think the words? Or is it both?
 
It's as vivid as your cell phone?

You can liken it to being able to "voice" things or replay music in your head, if that helps. That won't ever be as vivid as a real sound that your ears are receiving, but it can be plenty vivid in your mind.

Likewise with images. It'll never be as vivid as images the eyes receive, but it can be plenty detailed and vivid if you're good at it. If you're really good at it, you kind of completely zone out and stop noticing whatever you're actually looking at to instead focus entirely on the fantasy image.
 

Coreda

Member
Wait. So you can see an imaginary picture with your eyes open full stop?

Fuck.

It's not as though I literally see a superimposed image above what I'm looking at (a la some image editor), it's like simultaneously visualizing images in the mind's eye while viewing things IRL. It's hard to describe.

What I'm curious about is how this would affect someone's ability to remember faces. Wouldn't that come into it?
 

Kieli

Member
Some people don't have an "inner voice". You know, that voice you hear in your head when you're reading something or talking to yourself.

Oddly, I don't really "hear" an internal voice when I'm doing math. No one is reading the numbers out to me and I don't hear my mind saying "3 times 5 equals 15".
 

sphagnum

Banned
I can only speak for myself, but when I visualize things, it happens separately from my actual eyesight; I can still see the things around me (or the darkness of having my eyes closed). It happens "in" my mind rather than my eyes, and there's (almost?) never confusion over which is which.

Yes, this is what happens. It's not like my eyesight shuts off and I'm inside a movie. There are two different modes of perception occurring at once, but the real sight fades into the background so it all becomes like peripheral vision while the image I imagine is what I focus on. But my imagination is never as clear as reality.

It's pretty similar to road hypnosis.
 

Fergie

Banned
I think some of you are falling into the self-diagnosing on the internet trap. You sound like you fall within the normal range of people who don't have this condition.
Might be so which is why I'm unsure.

But OP's description does resonate with me somewhat.

It's not easy to explain, but conjuring up images or visualising anything takes a lot of effort, but it's not 100% like this though.

I would only say the consistent thing is I don't remember 90% of my dreams, possibly 99%. That 1% is very rare when it happens.
 
I've always wondered if I have this or not, the idea of "picturing" something is so vague that I'm not sure.

I mean since I can't know anyone else's experiences I don't really know what anyone truly means when they say they "picture" something in their mind. Do they actually conjure an image that they see as if with their eyes? Or is like me where the idea of a thing gets in my head but I definitely don't "see" anything.

I'm thinking about the duel between Luke and Vader in Empire, I know it and can "picture" it, but there is no image that appears. Luke climbing the piping and Vader says "Impressive." *swings saber* "Most impressive.", I know these moments, they exist in my mind but I don't see it.

I can see images of all that in my head instantly.
 

Arksy

Member
I'm getting really confused here as to what people are able to say they experience. I don't really 'see' anything in the literal sense of the word but I'm able to reconstruct or construct anything. I have a pretty crazy memory and can recall more information than most. It's how I was able to learn a large number of different languages.
 
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention though is fight scenes.

I think of things in fight scenes a lot.

Like going to a store or reading a book, instead of thinking of just those things they are instead in the context of a fight scene.

So instead of thinking of someone just sitting down and reading a book, they are instead reading a book while fighting hand to hand with someone else.

This sounds like the best mental quirk
 

gforguava

Member
I see it, perhaps more vividly than most things since I've seen this scene a billion times, but I can see it. The precise lightsaber swings like when Vader and Luke are locked in combat in the middle of the platform and they wack the side bar and the sparks fly off, or when Luke nabs Vader in the shoulder and he cuts his hand off right after. It's all there.
Those moments are in my head too but I would never say I see them. So is their an actual difference here or is it just an inability to truly communicate our mental experiences properly?
 
Sounds so sad. I love visualizing things, also that person that said it makes reading a blast is spot on. Is there anything that could be done?
 

hirokazu

Member
I thought people saw images as vivid as a dream or their cell phone image. I can imagine stuff with my eyes opened or closed and get a "feel" of the objects but it's not vivid. I only see black or what I'm looking at. I can dream vividly tho
What you imagine doesn't pop up into your actual vision just like if you think about a melody or song, you don't perceive it as being heard through your ears. Your mind brings it up for your in its own 'space' simultaneously as you're experiencing real senses.

It's kinda like your mind is simulating your real senses and it's probably using the same pathways in the brain as processing real senses. It can be faint and lacking detail or extremely vivid depending on your state of mind and your level of concentration.
 

sphagnum

Banned
Those moments are in my head too but I would never say I see them. So is their an actual difference here or is it just an inability to truly communicate our mental experiences properly?

I can "see" them in my mind but it's not like if I start thinking about it while sitting at work then I stop seeing my computer visually.

But yeah, I'm imagining full motion pictures and dialogue and sound, just not as clearly or loud as the real thing.
 

Sawneeks

Banned
Some people don't have an "inner voice". You know, that voice you hear in your head when you're reading something or talking to yourself.

Oddly, I don't really "hear" an internal voice when I'm doing math. No one is reading the numbers out to me and I don't hear my mind saying "3 times 5 equals 15".

I've had it pointed out to me that if you do have an internal voice when you read it just kind of goes 'blank' when symbols are involved. For example, reading this you probably are reading it in some sort of voice, right? But what if I started to type ��, what does your inner voice read? Mine just kinda skips over it and I just never noticed until someone pointed it out.

I find all this kinda stuff fascinating. Our brains are weird.
 
I've had it pointed out to me that if you do have an internal voice when you read it just kind of goes 'blank' when symbols are involved. For example, reading this you probably are reading it in some sort of voice, right? But what if I started to type �� or ��, what does your inner voice read? Mine just kinda skips over it and I just never noticed until someone pointed it out.

I find all this kinda stuff fascinating. Our brains are weird.
My mind went smooch
 
Those with the disorder: How does your memory work? Can you visualize places you've been or people you've met? Can you look at my avatar, look away, and still "see it" in your mind's eye?
 

Vanillalite

Ask me about the GAF Notebook
I think some of you are falling into the self-diagnosing on the internet trap. You sound like you fall within the normal range of people who don't have this condition.

Some of you might actually have it, but I agree with this. If you wonder get diagnosed by a professional so you really know.
 
The ability to "visualize" in your mind is really weird when you think about it. Like, I can think of the color blue and have a vivid perception of experiencing varying shades of color: the pale, chalky sky; the artificial blue of windex; turqoise; blue berries; smurfs. But when I close my eyes, it's not like I conjure an image of these things out of the darkness. Except it kind of is like that. I can "see" them. In my brain. Sort of.


Seriously.
 

BTA

Member
I've heard of this before, yeah. A friend of mine says they're this way.

For me, off the top of my head, while I visualize just fine I don't think I'm as good at visualizing things intentionally when I close my eyes as I do while unintentionally daydreaming. But I think that's more related to attention issues/anxiety/general lack of sleep right now than anything else, hah.

EDIT:
Obviously this is real (as is learning that these things apply to you through reading about them online), but be careful of letting yourself fall into the trap of psyching yourself out over self-diagnosis in this thread.

Also, as a personal note I'd add that I'm pretty bad at spatial awareness, but when I remember things I read (like while studying) I tend to picture the page it was on. Not anywhere near perfectly or even the real words, but for some reason its position on the page and in relation to other information is what comes to mind.
 

riotous

Banned
That's super interesting; never thought about that. I can see vivid images in my mind, hear complex music, recall smells, feelings.... crazy to think that some people can't do all of that.
 

The Mule

Member
Holy shit. I also have this. I'm mind blown right now.



Wait. So you can see an imaginary picture with your eyes open full stop?

Fuck.

Sort of... it's really hard to describe. It's not like I see an actual image floating in front of my vision. I just get a vague sense (shape, size, colour), in the back of my mind, of the thing I'm imagining.
 

Anura

Member
I couldn't never imagine not being able to visualize things. I pretty much need an image to remember something, abstract concepts don't stick at all. This is one of the reasons why math is so tough for me. I've started studying for tests by drawing things out and writing facts next to the picture. Doing that just makes memory heavy tests a breeze to ace. Heck, the reason I learned to draw in the first place was to finally be able put all things I'd imagine in my head, on paper.
 

III-V

Member
I think my minds ear is the most powerful. I can literally playback anything, any music any note, its all perfect.

I can't sing of course, so all for nothing lol..

My visual imagination is not that strong, but of course I can still picture anything.

Many times I will imagine a future event, maybe a conversation I am nervous about and play it out over and over, like characters in a play. I can picture how the individuals react, etc.

Smell is strong as well. If I am hungry I can picture food and smell it and salivate.


This is one of the reasons why math is so tough for me. I've started studying for tests by drawing things out and writing facts next to the picture.

Interesting, this is what I did as well to really start understanding algebra, I would see a function on paper and then imagine what it looked like. It helped me identify correct or incorrect results and also to gauge if things made sense. I still do this, in fact.
 

Cranzor

Junior Member
For people who can picture things, can you also "picture" the other senses as well?

I can visualize things in my mind, but I can also play songs in my head, think of tastes, and think of certain physical feelings as well. I wonder if there's much overlap with not being able to visualize things and not being able to "picture" other senses.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
I can't tell if I have a mild form of this or if I just have unreasonable expectations for my mind's imagination.

I've always felt that I should be able to imagine more, that my mind's eye should be able to hold an image for longer, more completely. It has always seemed like my mind had poor vision and was looking through a cone, or like the lights in my brain are constantly flickering. It's as if my brain can't focus long enough to serve my imagination's hopes. As a creative, I've been consistently frustrated by my inability to construct my ideas completely, and I've tried to practice visualization to improve this.

Yet, I do dream vividly, even if the details can be abstract, and I noticed in that link that the writer could not.

I guess I wonder where I fit into this and how others experience their mental canvas. I appreciate this thread for bringing others' experiences to light.

EDIT: FWIW, I can definitely play sounds and songs in my head.
 

Jams775

Member
Where do people with eidetic memory fall here? Does it have a connection to being able to see with your minds eye super well?

This really seems like one of those crazy things like, how do you even know everyone sees the same colors? You can't really describe to them what a color looks like. Same with pain. How do you know how painful something is to a person? Does getting a paper cut feel exactly the same?
 

kswiston

Member
My wife has some form of this. I have asked her before if she can picture a person she knows and make them do something in her mind. She can't. She can only vaguely picture them at all. Even if it is me or our daughter.

It also leads to her short term memory being pretty poor. She has to write everything down. If I am talking about anything related to numbers, she loses track of the conversation after saying more than two numbers.
 
This is blowing my mind. I don't know if the things in my imagination are actually things I can see. I can "feel" the concept of a red triangle, a pyramid or 1-1 in Super Mario Bros. But I can't actually see them. How do you differentiate between them? Do people actually see things they imagine?
 
I don't know what my visualisation is, I definitely can't focus on one visual. For example if I think of a cat, I'll have five different versions of a cat pop into my mind
 

kswiston

Member
This is blowing my mind. I don't know if the things in my imagination are actually things I can see. I can "feel" the concept of a red triangle, a pyramid or 1-1 in Super Mario Bros. But I can't actually see them. How do you differentiate between them? Do people actually see things they imagine?

Yes. I can run through world 1-1 in my mind if I concentrate.
 

Anura

Member
For people who can picture things, can you also "picture" the other senses as well?

I can visualize things in my mind, but I can also play songs in my head, think of tastes, and think of certain physical feelings as well. I wonder if there's much overlap with not being able to visualize things and not being able to "picture" other senses.

Most things come paired with an image for me. When I want to imagine what an apple tastes like, a picture of an apple also comes with it. Music tends to come packaged with a color scheme as well, but that's often similar to the album art but not always. Slow or medium speed orchestral songs, for example, tend to be paired with greys and whites for some reason. Generally speaking everything in my head is linked to an image in some way.
 
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