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[Gaborn]

NASHUA, NH (CBS) – A transgendered third grader in Nashua, New Hampshire reportedly will be allowed to dress like a girl, be addressed as a girl, and use the female restroom under an agreement between the school and the child’s parents.

Janson Wu, an attorney with Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, who represented the girl and her family, would not talk specifically about the case, but told WBZ NewsRadio 1030 that schools will need to address these situations as more transgender and gender-variant youth come out.

“I think that as the environments become more and more welcoming to transgender and gender variant youth, we’re going to see a lot more students coming out. And that’s something that schools and parents will need to be prepared to deal with,” Wu said.

“Children often have difficulty having schools respect them for who they believe they are. If a transgender girl wants to be able to wear feminine clothes to school and be addressed as a girl, often times we see schools feeling a fair amount of discomfort around that. What we’re hopeful is that when the schools work with the student and the parents is they learn to understand that this is a sincere belief on the student’s part and they learn to support that.”

Nashua School Superintendent Mark Conrad also would not discuss the agreement, but reportedly explained that policies are already in place to protect transgendered students.

“We don’t have a specific policy on transgender students, but we do have policies in place that prevent discrimination against students and bullying, and we regularly review those policies,” Superintendent Conrad told the Union Leader.

Wu called decisions like this one a step in the right direction.

“As parents and educators and community members, you want to do what’s right for the children,” Wu said. “When you speak to the youth themselves, you really do get the sense that these are children who have sincere belief about who they are.”

Story Here

I'm glad that the school came around to this position. Personally the article's title was very sensationalist to me, I hope the thread title I used is better.

 

[vas_a_morir]

Quite an interesting decision. I hope the other students treat this child with respect. It'll surely be a challenge for kids to think ethically about how it might feel if they were in this situation.

 

[MadSkillzBahamut]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

 

[GSR]

It's probably going to be rough for her - kids can be jerks enough without dealing with transgender issues. Best of luck.

 

[Ferrio]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

I don't recall ever wanting to be a girl though..

 

[vas_a_morir]

I don't recall ever wanting to be a girl though..

Man, the when I was a kid, the only thing I ever wanted was video games.

 

[Cyan]

Personally the article's title was very sensationalist to me, I hope the thread title I used is better.

For reference, the article title:

Report: Transgender 3rd Grader Will Be Allowed To Use Girl’s Bathroom

Yeah, yours is fine.

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

Luckily, they're not doing any physical alterations, so there's plenty of time for the kid to change her mind.

 

[Guevara]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

That's always my concern too. I have no idea how you could possibly know if something is a phase, something they are just parroting that they heard elsewhere, or real.

 

[Jacob]

Wow, the original article title is something else. I honestly don't get the obsession with bathrooms. When I was the same age as the girl in this story I had long hair and was often mistaken for a girl. I'd regularly have people (both kids and adults) follow me into public men's bathrooms or try to stop me from going in. Being at the pool was a pretty bad too.

Anyway, I'm really happy for this girl and her family and wish them all the best. Glad the school came around.

 

[Croc]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

What does it matter? Shouldn't they allowed to be able to do what they want? It's not like they're doing anything permanent.

 

[SteveWinwood]

I don't recall ever wanting to be a girl though..

Same.

I guess in a perfect world if it was a "phase" you could just laugh it off later in life. Hell of a lot better than hey remember how you completely ruined my life making me conform to an identity that wasn't mine?

 

[Acid08]

Interesting.

Can't see most kids being able to understand though. Bullying seems like a given.

 

[.GqueB.]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

Would've loved if my school allowed me to come to school as a Power Ranger. Kids these days have it so goddamn easy.

 

[vas_a_morir]

Would've loved if my school allowed me to come to school as a Power Ranger. Kids these days have it do goddamn easy.

Tell me about it. When I was in school, I had to first be a bad guy for a week before they would even let me think about becoming a ranger. Even then, I had to use my own Zord.

 

[maniac-kun]

They made a sex change operation on a kid?

 

[Gaborn]

They made a sex change operation on a kid?

No, not yet. That decision will probably be made in a few years, and they'll probably delay her puberty soon with hormone blockers to give her and her doctors more time to make sure that it would be the correct decision.

 

[Guevara]

No, not yet. That decision will probably be made in a few years, and they'll probably delay her puberty soon with hormone blockers to give her and her doctors more time to make sure that it would be the correct decision.

I just don't get how a kid could possibly make this decision. A third grader is what, like 10?

 

[kirblar]

I just don't get how a kid could possibly make this decision. A third grader is what, like 10?

It's not like sexual orientation, which usually isn't "obvious" to that person until they hit puberty and things start going backwards. There are a lot of cases where the kids start acting out very, very young because they perceive themselves as being the opposite gender.

 

[Gaborn]

I just don't get how a kid could possibly make this decision. A third grader is what, like 10?

Wearing clothes and such? That's meaningless (in the sense its nothing life altering from a harm standpoint, not trying to trivialize it). But for children in this situation its NEVER just the child making the decision. Its the child, a team of a few doctors in different specialties and the parents making the decisions that are in the child's best interest.

 

[Cyan]

I just don't get how a kid could possibly make this decision. A third grader is what, like 10?

Thus the hormone blockers.

 

[Owzers]

What does it matter? Shouldn't they allowed to be able to do what they want? It's not like they're doing anything permanent.

first reaction: They're in 3rd grade, no.

 

[Earthstrike]

How does is this child so certain of their gender identity, isn't it commonplace to want to be something that you're not at that age?

No. It is not commonplace for a child to want to be another gender and then later in life, not want to be that gender. To the best of my knowledge there are no documented cases of children misidentifying themselves as transgender and the science seems to indicate that gender identity is known at a very young age.

 

[Cyan]

first reaction: They're in 3rd grade, no.

In many situations, you are absolutely correct. In this specific instance, it's much better to figure this out as early as possible, ideally before puberty, for reasons which should be obvious.

 

[Razek]

In many situations, you are absolutely correct. In this specific instance, it's much better to figure this out as early as possible, ideally before puberty, for reasons which should be obvious.

I'm probably wrong, but wouldn't it be better to decide on something like this after puberty when hormones start doing their thing?

 

[Devolution]

I just don't get how a kid could possibly make this decision. A third grader is what, like 10?

I didn't have gender dysphoria but as a child you can recognize very early that you're different.

 

[BadAss2961]

Way too young to be transgender imo. Kids should grow old enough to make the decision on their own.

 

[Devolution]

Way too young to be transgender imo. Kids should grow old enough to make the decision on their own.

Way too young to dress and act like a girl you mean? I was doing the reverse well before 10.

 

[chubigans]

No. It is not commonplace for a child to want to be another gender and then later in life, not want to be that gender. To the best of my knowledge there are no documented cases of children misidentifying themselves as transgender and the science seems to indicate that gender identity is known at a very young age.

I call malarky on that.

I saw a story on one of the newsmagazines about a young boy (same age or so as the OP I think?) who wanted to become a girl, so the parents bought him a dress, allowed him to go to school dressed up, and went as far as to legally change his name to a more feminine one.

At one point during the news story they were going to fly to California to do some hormone blockers. The kid then told the mom, who was nothing but supportive of all this, "what if...I don't want to be a girl?" The mom said, whoa, you've never told me this before, and she looked completely shattered, on the verge of losing it, when the kid picked up on it and apologized for even mentioning it. The mom said she never thought about him changing his mind.

But by that point they already had the California trip planned, flew over there, and got the hormone blockers.

Can you imagine the immense pressure on the child to stay with their original decision after not only a lifestyle change, but with news cameras following them and such? It was sad to see honestly.

Kids need to grow up as kids. If they feel like they need a gender change, then do it when they're at a much older age when they can understand the significance of their actions. IMO of course.

 

[Earthstrike]

I'm probably wrong, but wouldn't it be better to decide on something like this after puberty when hormones start doing their thing?

No. The effects of hormones are irreversible, which will impact the quality of any sex change in the future, if it occurs. Consequently it makes sense to put a child on hormone blockers and for a determination to be made if the child really is transgendered. A part of the determination process is measuring how comfortable the child is/feels when they live in the role of the opposite gender.

 

[kirblar]

I'm probably wrong, but wouldn't it be better to decide on something like this after puberty when hormones start doing their thing?

Growing into the "wrong" body is not a desired result.

No. The effects of hormones are irreversible, which will impact the quality of any sex change in the future, if it occurs. Consequently it makes sense to put a child on hormone blockers and for a determination to be made if the child really is transgendered. A part of the determination process is measuring how comfortable the child is/feels when they live in the role of the opposite gender.

I remember watching something on this where an (actual) example was a guy who would crossdress as a young child, but grew out of it as he got older, as it turned out he was gay, not transgendered.

 

[Devolution]

I call malarky on that.

I saw a story on one of the newsmagazines about a young boy (same age or so as the OP I think?) who wanted to become a girl, so the parents bought him a dress, allowed him to go to school dressed up, and went as far as to legally change his name to a more feminine one.

At one point during the news story they were going to fly to California to do some hormone blockers. The kid then told the mom, who was nothing but supportive of all this, "what if...I don't want to be a girl?" The mom said, whoa, you've never told me this before, and she looked completely shattered, on the verge of losing it, when the kid picked up on it and apologized for even mentioning it. The mom said she never thought about him changing his mind.

But by that point they already had the California trip planned, flew over there, and got the hormone blockers.

Can you imagine the immense pressure on the child to stay with their original decision after not only a lifestyle change, but with news cameras following them and such? It was sad to see honestly.

Kids need to grow up as kids. If they feel like they need a gender change, then do it when they're at a much older age when they can understand the significance of their actions. IMO of course.

The hormone blockers still allow the child to choose in either direction.

 

[Razek]

No. The effects of hormones are irreversible, which will impact the quality of any sex change in the future, if it occurs. Consequently it makes sense to put a child on hormone blockers and for a determination to be made if the child really is transgendered. A part of the determination process is measuring how comfortable the child is/feels when they live in the role of the opposite gender.

Is it common then for children to identify themselves before ~12 then? (This isn't sarcastic or prying, I'm generally curious)

 

[MrToughPants]

Way too young to dress and act like a girl you mean? I was doing the reverse well before 10.

You peed standing?

10 years old is usually grade 4-5 unless of course you were held back a grade or two which in Manitoba they can't do without parental permission until grade 8-9.

 

[Emitan]

Way too young to be transgender imo. Kids should grow old enough to make the decision on their own.

:lol

 

[Earthstrike]

I call malarky on that.

I saw a story on one of the newsmagazines about a young boy (same age or so as the OP I think?) who wanted to become a girl, so the parents bought him a dress, allowed him to go to school dressed up, and went as far as to legally change his name to a more feminine one.

At one point during the news story they were going to fly to California to do some hormone blockers. The kid then told the mom, who was nothing but supportive of all this, "what if...I don't want to be a girl?" The mom said, whoa, you've never told me this before, and she looked completely shattered, on the verge of losing it, when the kid picked up on it and apologized for even mentioning it. The mom said she never thought about him changing his mind.

But by that point they already had the California trip planned, flew over there, and got the hormone blockers.

Can you imagine the immense pressure on the child to stay with their original decision after not only a lifestyle change, but with news cameras following them and such? It was sad to see honestly.

Kids need to grow up as kids. If they feel like they need a gender change, then do it when they're at a much older age when they can understand the significance of their actions. IMO of course.

I said I wasn't personally aware of any stories so there is no malarky on my part. I would certainly like to know more details about this story. It is interesting to note that parents, and in this case, the newscameras, could've put pressure on the boy to continue down his path. This is why its important for these factors to not be present when a child is making such a kind of determination. Also, a followup to this would be pretty interesting. The child may be bigendered or gender fluid.

 

[Devolution]

You peed standing?

10 years old is usually grade 4-5 unless of course you were held back a grade or two which in Manitoba they can't do without parental permission until grade 8-9.

Couldn't pee standing. Wore boys clothes. Played with boys toys. Didn't really feel the need to cut my hair though. I wasn't trying to be a boy but I definitely had those interests. Tomboys certainly weren't frowned upon like their counterparts (except some girls were jerks) so it was easy for me.

 

[BadAss2961]

Way too young to dress and act like a girl you mean? I was doing the reverse well before 10.

Kids aren't dressing themselves/buying their own clothes at 10 years old.

 

[Earthstrike]

Is it common then for children to identify themselves before ~12 then? (This isn't sarcastic or prying, I'm generally curious)

Gender identity is usually established by age 3.

 

[chubigans]

I said I wasn't personally aware of any stories so there is no malarky on my part. I would certainly like to know more details about this story. It is interesting to note that parents, and in this case, the newscameras, could've put pressure on the boy to continue down his path. This is why its important for these factors to not be present when a child is making such a kind of determination. Also, a followup to this would be pretty interesting. The child may be bigendered or gender fluid.

Yeah, a follow up would be very interesting.

Here's the video I saw on Dateline:

http://video.msnbc.msn.com/dateline/48121998

 

[Gaborn]

Gender identity is usually established by age 3.

Although parents accepting this may take a little longer much to the child's detriment.

 

[Razek]

Gender identity is usually established by age 3.

Fascinating. Thanks for the response!

 

[BadAss2961]

:lol

You believe that you're born transgender, I think I understand that. But still, I don't think the lifestyle should be forced on kids until they've matured.

 

[Emerson]

Couldn't pee standing. Wore boys clothes. Played with boys toys. Didn't really feel the need to cut my hair though. I wasn't trying to be a boy but I definitely had those interests. Tomboys certainly weren't frowned upon like their counterparts (except some girls were jerks) so it was easy for me.

None of this is really the same as gender dysphoria though. Not being a dick, just not really following the relevance.

 

[Devolution]

Kids aren't dressing themselves/buying their own clothes at 10 years old.

This is wrong. Kids can definitely dictate personal preferences and their parents can let them do so. I told my parents I hated dresses and they obliged. I started wearing shirts and shorts instead of skirts and dresses. I was comfortable in these clothes. I hated pink. Parents stopped buying it. I liked red (because of the niners) and blue. The only dresses or skirts I had were formal clothes for school events. And even then if I could get away with wearing formal pants instead of a skirt I did.

None of this is really the same as gender dysphoria though. Not being a dick, just not really following the relevance.

I'm talking about the assertions that children don't know when they're different. They know. I knew. My parents knew.

You believe that you're born transgender, I think I understand that. But still, I don't think the lifestyle should be forced on kids until they've matured.

It's not a "lifestyle" it's an issue with their body not being in sync with their mind.

 

[Gaborn]

You believe that you're born transgender, I think I understand that. But still, I don't think the lifestyle should be forced on kids until they've matured.

This would be a very different thread if the child was being forced to live as a girl.

Also, I facepalmed at lifestyle.

 

[MrToughPants]

Couldn't pee standing. Wore boys clothes. Played with boys toys. Didn't really feel the need to cut my hair though. I wasn't trying to be a boy but I definitely had those interests. Tomboys certainly weren't frowned upon like their counterparts (except some girls were jerks) so it was easy for me.

We had girls playing hockey with us all the time and we even had girl bullies back in the day who would kick all the boys asses.

 

[Earthstrike]

You believe that you're born transgender, I think I understand that. But still, I don't think the lifestyle should be forced on kids until they've matured.

Forced upon them? The actions taken are almost always at the request of the child. Parents aren't actively trying to force their children to be the other gender in north american culture. It certainly isn't a social norm.

 

[Cyan]

You believe that you're born transgender, I think I understand that. But still, I don't think the lifestyle should be forced on kids until they've matured.

I think we can all agree that no one should be forcing an undesired gender on a child.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I'm hopeful that one day we can discuss these topics without the undercurrent of the conversation being "this person doesn't know or is lying for some reason."

 

[FyreWulff]

Interesting.

Can't see most kids being able to understand though. Bullying seems like a given.

Yeah, because only transgendered kids get bullied..