Can I sign up to be an elder pundit?
I'll be GAF's version of the speaker saying this victory was minor because nothing can stop the elders.
-
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We Will Not Vanish Without a Fight [Let's Play XCOM 2: WotC]
- Thread starter Jintor
- Start date
Can I sign up to be an elder pundit?
I'll be GAF's version of the speaker saying this victory was minor because nothing can stop the elders.
!SIGNUP
Man, you don't have a Lead Engineer yet? Someone needs to figure out how to duct tape two lasers together to make a laser shotgun, or heck just start slapping scrap pieces of alien tech all over your armour. That's basically what alloy plates are after all right? I mean how hard can this stuff really be? That person might as well be me.
Man, you don't have a Lead Engineer yet? Someone needs to figure out how to duct tape two lasers together to make a laser shotgun, or heck just start slapping scrap pieces of alien tech all over your armour. That's basically what alloy plates are after all right? I mean how hard can this stuff really be? That person might as well be me.
CLASSIFIED RESTRICTED ACCESS
INTERNAL_MEMORANDUM / XO_REPORT_0003
From: xo.central@xcom.mil.free
To: dirops.central@xcom.mil.free
Subj: Re: Briefing (addendum)
Commander,
Some further notes on inquiries you raised post-debriefing.
Dr Erheller has returned from his sojourn in the black markets of Hunan and is settling into his new quarters – you remember him, of course? Last time you saw him he was toting a shotgun around; he's swapped it for a scalpel these days. He has placed a number of research requests regarding the chip surgery team found in your skull. I've attached his schematics.
Dr Deraldin has begun production in the fabrications lab of a supply of flashbang grenades and nanogel medikits. We all recall how vital flashbangs were to initial operations in the beginning stages of the Long War, while the improved nanogel medikit has been compressed to allow for an aerosol-esque application procedure – it'll keep a soldier hopped up on enough stims to make it to a medbay before total cardiac arrest.
Finally, SPEC Han of the Reaper faction has provided us with an ‘in' to the local factional HQ. We don't exactly have their full-fledged support, but at least they're not shooting at us too. Han is remaining on-staff as an official liaison for the time being.
I will consult with Flight Liutenant PBAlfredo on our next moves while you recover – he's traded his interceptor for the helm of the Avenger. The sick bags are under the drawer to your right.
- Poodlestrike
INTERNAL_MEMORANDUM / XO_REPORT_0003
From: xo.central@xcom.mil.free
To: dirops.central@xcom.mil.free
Subj: Re: Briefing (addendum)
Commander,
Some further notes on inquiries you raised post-debriefing.
Dr Erheller has returned from his sojourn in the black markets of Hunan and is settling into his new quarters – you remember him, of course? Last time you saw him he was toting a shotgun around; he's swapped it for a scalpel these days. He has placed a number of research requests regarding the chip surgery team found in your skull. I've attached his schematics.
Dr Deraldin has begun production in the fabrications lab of a supply of flashbang grenades and nanogel medikits. We all recall how vital flashbangs were to initial operations in the beginning stages of the Long War, while the improved nanogel medikit has been compressed to allow for an aerosol-esque application procedure – it'll keep a soldier hopped up on enough stims to make it to a medbay before total cardiac arrest.
Finally, SPEC Han of the Reaper faction has provided us with an ‘in' to the local factional HQ. We don't exactly have their full-fledged support, but at least they're not shooting at us too. Han is remaining on-staff as an official liaison for the time being.
I will consult with Flight Liutenant PBAlfredo on our next moves while you recover – he's traded his interceptor for the helm of the Avenger. The sick bags are under the drawer to your right.
- Poodlestrike
Mission Briefing – Strike Team Alpha
Sorry to cut short your ‘recruiting time' in the back alleys of Uzbekistan, team, but we've received an op from Han's friends in the gasmasks.
Your mission is the destruction of an alien relay preparing to send a burst transmission that could seriously compromise Reaper operations in the region. With Tiamat still out on injury time, we're subbing in one of the coolest rookies we know, Breezylimbo. Don't get too stinky down there.
ETA: 12 hours
Sorry to cut short your ‘recruiting time' in the back alleys of Uzbekistan, team, but we've received an op from Han's friends in the gasmasks.
Your mission is the destruction of an alien relay preparing to send a burst transmission that could seriously compromise Reaper operations in the region. With Tiamat still out on injury time, we're subbing in one of the coolest rookies we know, Breezylimbo. Don't get too stinky down there.
ETA: 12 hours
If we ever get around setting up a band here in the Avenger, that is a pretty good name candidate.
Poodlestrike
Banned
The Gasmasks?
Zod the Bear
Member
Morale is high (until the first death.) Requesting a view of bond/cohesion meters after the next deployment!
Han Seoul-Oh
Banned
This is already waaaay better than I thought it would be. Keep up the good work.
CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
//INCIDENT_REPORT_0002//
OPERATION STEEL QUEEN
<<BEIJING RAT CITIES, CHINA>>
7 March 2035
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
SPEC Zod the Bear
SPEC Baalzebup
SPEC Han Seoul-Oh
PVT Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
<timestamp advance +15m35s>
Zod the Bear: God, I hate sewers. We never had to fight in these before, did we?
Baalzebup: I dunno, Zod, I think youd love being somewhere as full of shit as you.
Breezylimbo: Guys, the scanner says its just up ahead, through these tunnels
Han Seoul-Oh: Quiet, you fools were not alone down here.
Baalzebup: Shit. Thats what sectoids look like nowadays?
Zod the Bear: They been workin out and shit.
Han Seoul-Oh: They dont know were here yet good. Lets take them by surprise.
<timestamp advance +1m23s>
Zod the Bear: I could nade them from here
Han Seoul-Oh: There may be more. Save your munitions.
Breezylimbo: Position set.
Baalzebup: Set.
//INCIDENT_REPORT_0002//
OPERATION STEEL QUEEN
<<BEIJING RAT CITIES, CHINA>>
7 March 2035
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
SPEC Zod the Bear
SPEC Baalzebup
SPEC Han Seoul-Oh
PVT Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
<timestamp advance +15m35s>
Zod the Bear: God, I hate sewers. We never had to fight in these before, did we?
Baalzebup: I dunno, Zod, I think youd love being somewhere as full of shit as you.
Breezylimbo: Guys, the scanner says its just up ahead, through these tunnels
Han Seoul-Oh: Quiet, you fools were not alone down here.
Baalzebup: Shit. Thats what sectoids look like nowadays?
Zod the Bear: They been workin out and shit.
Han Seoul-Oh: They dont know were here yet good. Lets take them by surprise.
<timestamp advance +1m23s>
Zod the Bear: I could nade them from here
Han Seoul-Oh: There may be more. Save your munitions.
Breezylimbo: Position set.
Baalzebup: Set.
Han Seoul-Oh: On my mark... now.
*sniper rifle fire*
*combined weapons fire*
Breezylimbo: Booyah! ET go home!
Baalzebup: Survivor's hiding behind the pipe-
Zod the Bear: My turn.
*gatling gun fire*
Zod the Bear: There's no kill like overkill.
Baalzebup: No time to breathe – more coming!
*sniper rifle fire*
*combined weapons fire*
Breezylimbo: Booyah! ET go home!
Baalzebup: Survivor's hiding behind the pipe-
Zod the Bear: My turn.
*gatling gun fire*
Zod the Bear: There's no kill like overkill.
Baalzebup: No time to breathe – more coming!
Baalzebup: His friends making a break for it-
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Shots wide, shots wide.
Central: Alpha, be advised, signalling indicates alien data transmission is nearly completed. ETA 5 minutes or less.
Zod the Bear: Shit, I forgot what we were here to do! Rook, wheres the transmitter?
Breezylimbo: Just up ahead.
Han Seoul-Oh: Already there.
Han Seoul-Oh: Also some new friends.
Zod the Bear: Priority one is the transmitter move up and blast that sucker!
*combined weapons fire*
*explosion*
Breezylimbo: Relay is down, repeat, relay is down.
Zod the Bear: Mustve hit something vital.
Central: No signals on our end, Alpha, excellent work. Mop up that mess and come on home.
Han Seoul-Oh: Easier said than done
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Shots wide, shots wide.
Central: Alpha, be advised, signalling indicates alien data transmission is nearly completed. ETA 5 minutes or less.
Zod the Bear: Shit, I forgot what we were here to do! Rook, wheres the transmitter?
Breezylimbo: Just up ahead.
Han Seoul-Oh: Already there.
Han Seoul-Oh: Also some new friends.
Zod the Bear: Priority one is the transmitter move up and blast that sucker!
*combined weapons fire*
*explosion*
Breezylimbo: Relay is down, repeat, relay is down.
Zod the Bear: Mustve hit something vital.
Central: No signals on our end, Alpha, excellent work. Mop up that mess and come on home.
Han Seoul-Oh: Easier said than done
Zod the Bear: Shit, pretty boys seen us.
Han Seoul-Oh: Correction: hes seen you. Laying claymore...
Baalzebup: Zod, that frag you were saving?
Zod the Bear: Yes?
Baalzebup: Might I suggest this as the perfect time to use it?
Zod the Bear: Finally.
*EXPLOSION*
Han Seoul-Oh: Sectoid is toast-
Breezylimbo: His friend, too!
*automatic weapons fire*
Breezylimbo: Another dead traitor.
Han Seoul-Oh: Most excellent ah, here is our laggard.
Baalzebup: Han, did he see you?
Han Seoul-Oh: Unfortunately for him, he has not seen me. And he never will.
*sniper rifle shot*
Han Seoul-Oh: Terminated.
Breezylimbo: Thats the last of them, I think.
Zod the Bear: Good. Lets get the fuck out of these sewers. Im gonna stink for a week after this.
---TRANSCRIPT ENDS---
Han Seoul-Oh: Correction: hes seen you. Laying claymore...
Baalzebup: Zod, that frag you were saving?
Zod the Bear: Yes?
Baalzebup: Might I suggest this as the perfect time to use it?
Zod the Bear: Finally.
*EXPLOSION*
Han Seoul-Oh: Sectoid is toast-
Breezylimbo: His friend, too!
*automatic weapons fire*
Breezylimbo: Another dead traitor.
Han Seoul-Oh: Most excellent ah, here is our laggard.
Baalzebup: Han, did he see you?
Han Seoul-Oh: Unfortunately for him, he has not seen me. And he never will.
*sniper rifle shot*
Han Seoul-Oh: Terminated.
Breezylimbo: Thats the last of them, I think.
Zod the Bear: Good. Lets get the fuck out of these sewers. Im gonna stink for a week after this.
---TRANSCRIPT ENDS---
Promotions:
SPEC Zod the Bear -> CPL
SPEC Baalzebup --> CPL
SPEC Han ”Shadow" Seoul-Oh --> CPL
PVT BreezyLimbo --> SPEC (Ranger)
Recovered: 2 x Sectoid Corpse, 3 x Trooper Corpses, 1 x Officer Corpse
Kills/Mission Board – STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
Zod the Bear: 4 | 2 (+2)
Han Seoul-Oh: 2 | 2 (+2)
Baalzebup: 2 | 2 (-)
Breezylimbo: 2 | 1 (+2)
SPEC Zod the Bear -> CPL
SPEC Baalzebup --> CPL
SPEC Han ”Shadow" Seoul-Oh --> CPL
PVT BreezyLimbo --> SPEC (Ranger)
Recovered: 2 x Sectoid Corpse, 3 x Trooper Corpses, 1 x Officer Corpse
Kills/Mission Board – STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
Zod the Bear: 4 | 2 (+2)
Han Seoul-Oh: 2 | 2 (+2)
Baalzebup: 2 | 2 (-)
Breezylimbo: 2 | 1 (+2)
BreezyLimbo
Banned
"Booyah" is definitely my catch phrase
BreezyLimbo
Banned
ET GO HOME!
King Tubby
Member
Good luck on the alien shootin'. Subbed.
Zod the Bear
Member
Selfie drone?
Baal! You son of a bitch!
Baal! You son of a bitch!
Looking as good as we do, it had to be done.Selfie drone?
Baal! You son of a bitch!
And honestly, these drones are the shit. I'm still poring over the manual that Dr. Deraldin slapped together, and the lineup for potential additions, upgrades and extra modules are pretty crazy. Daddy like.
Naw. Either the whole thing or Friends in the gasmasks. Doesn't matter whether the members actually include Han or wear gasmasks, it just sounds right to me. Doesn't really need to make sense either, but the Gasmasks is too nondescript
CLASSIFIED RESTRICTED ACCESS
INTERNAL_MEMORANDUM / DIRECTORS LOG_0005
XCOM is not the only ones who have survived these past 20 years. An old friend has gotten in touch.
He could not offer material support, but brings an intriguing tale; apparently healthy citizenry disappearing into ADVENT gene clinics, all across the globe. The obvious answer is that they are being killed, or taken; but why, and to where, and to what end?
His sources have determined a Blacksite, a holding point of some kind for whatever they are drawing from these disappearing civilians, is located somewhere in the Russian Far East. That narrows it down a mere 6 million square kilometres of ground to cover, give or take. Well need to liaise with the locals before we can even think of beginning to investigate.
On the homefront, Dr Deraldin has begun directing spare personnel to begin hauling out scrap and gear from rooms destroyed in the firefight to capture this flying hunk of junk. A tentative planning document is below.
Meanwhile, Dr Erheller and his crew, in conjunction with Manufacturing, have begun production of nanofiber vests. We can ill-afford the materials, but after seeing those gauss rifles in action, the material loss is a small price to pay for survivability.
He also mentioned that I had apparently been acting as some kind of alien supercomputer and if we could open up an ADVENT officers skull he could probably learn more. Im not entirely certain if he was joking or not.
but theres always time for a light autopsy. For science.
INTERNAL_MEMORANDUM / DIRECTORS LOG_0005
XCOM is not the only ones who have survived these past 20 years. An old friend has gotten in touch.
He could not offer material support, but brings an intriguing tale; apparently healthy citizenry disappearing into ADVENT gene clinics, all across the globe. The obvious answer is that they are being killed, or taken; but why, and to where, and to what end?
His sources have determined a Blacksite, a holding point of some kind for whatever they are drawing from these disappearing civilians, is located somewhere in the Russian Far East. That narrows it down a mere 6 million square kilometres of ground to cover, give or take. Well need to liaise with the locals before we can even think of beginning to investigate.
On the homefront, Dr Deraldin has begun directing spare personnel to begin hauling out scrap and gear from rooms destroyed in the firefight to capture this flying hunk of junk. A tentative planning document is below.
Meanwhile, Dr Erheller and his crew, in conjunction with Manufacturing, have begun production of nanofiber vests. We can ill-afford the materials, but after seeing those gauss rifles in action, the material loss is a small price to pay for survivability.
He also mentioned that I had apparently been acting as some kind of alien supercomputer and if we could open up an ADVENT officers skull he could probably learn more. Im not entirely certain if he was joking or not.
but theres always time for a light autopsy. For science.
TemplaerDude
Member
Subscribed! Love these!
MISSION BRIEFING STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
We were hoping to rotate on some rookies for the next live-fire engagement, but I dont think we have the luxury right now. Hans friends have called in and theyre looking for some assistance. Some of their boys got stranded deep in an abandoned Chinese city and they need help bugging the hell outta there, from what I understand.
Intel suggests there arent any ADVENT in the area, but as you all might have heard, life out in the lost zones is basically Romeroland these days. Im told here the best way to put them down is removing the head or destroying the brain. Huh. Weird.
Get to it, Alpha.
We were hoping to rotate on some rookies for the next live-fire engagement, but I dont think we have the luxury right now. Hans friends have called in and theyre looking for some assistance. Some of their boys got stranded deep in an abandoned Chinese city and they need help bugging the hell outta there, from what I understand.
Intel suggests there arent any ADVENT in the area, but as you all might have heard, life out in the lost zones is basically Romeroland these days. Im told here the best way to put them down is removing the head or destroying the brain. Huh. Weird.
Get to it, Alpha.
CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
///INCIDENT_REPORT_003///
OPERATION FADING TOME
<<CHONGQING RUINS, CHINA>>
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
CPL Zod the Bear
CPL Baalzebup
CPL Han Seoul-Oh
SPEC Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
Zod the Bear: Any zombies out there?
Baalzebup: Dont say that.
Zod the Bear: What?
Baalzebup: That!
Zod the Bear: What?
Baalzebup: The zed word! Dont say it!
Zod the Bear: Why not?
Baalzebup: Because its ridiculous!
Zod the Bear: Fine, fine. are there any out there, though?
Breezylimbo: LZ seems clear.
Han Seoul-Oh: I hear shooting - some kind of automated fire
*distant gunfire*
Zod the Bear: Should make him easy to find, then.
Baalzebup: Yeah for us, and for them.
Zod the Bear: Lets get to him quicksmart then and then get the fuck outa here.
*screeching*
Breezylimbo: Awww, fuck.
///INCIDENT_REPORT_003///
OPERATION FADING TOME
<<CHONGQING RUINS, CHINA>>
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
CPL Zod the Bear
CPL Baalzebup
CPL Han Seoul-Oh
SPEC Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
Zod the Bear: Any zombies out there?
Baalzebup: Dont say that.
Zod the Bear: What?
Baalzebup: That!
Zod the Bear: What?
Baalzebup: The zed word! Dont say it!
Zod the Bear: Why not?
Baalzebup: Because its ridiculous!
Zod the Bear: Fine, fine. are there any out there, though?
Breezylimbo: LZ seems clear.
Han Seoul-Oh: I hear shooting - some kind of automated fire
*distant gunfire*
Zod the Bear: Should make him easy to find, then.
Baalzebup: Yeah for us, and for them.
Zod the Bear: Lets get to him quicksmart then and then get the fuck outa here.
*screeching*
Breezylimbo: Awww, fuck.
Poodlestrike
Banned
This is Ops, reminding all hands that unauthorized use of Avenger radio facilities is not permitted. Stop trying to broadcast Thriller to Alpha.
Zod the Bear: Slow buggers, arent they?
Breezylimbo: Should I
Han Seoul-oh: Whoever these people were, they died long ago. The least we can do is put them out of their misery.
Breezylimbo: I mean, Im more concerned that theyre going to try and claw our eyes out, but okay.
*shotgun fire*
Breezylimbo: Booyah.
Zod the Bear: Lets just get to the guy, yeah?
Han Seoul-oh: Moving
<timestamp advance +45s>
Han Seoul-oh: Be careful coming out of the supermarket. Many infected.
Breezylimbo: Should we-
Han Seoul-oh: No. Youre too clumsy. I have eyes on our friend.
Breezylimbo: (indistinct swearing)
Baalzebup: Go grab him, well mop up these guys, and then well hoof it back to the ranger.
Han Seoul-oh: Sounds like a plan. On my way.
Breezylimbo: Im setting up shop in here
<timestamp advance +56s>
Han Seoul-oh: Doc! Its me-
???: Oh- Han! Damn, its good to see a friendly face-
Han Seoul-oh: No time for pleasantries. Come with me if you want to live.
???: But, my escort-
*mass screeching*
Han Seoul-oh: Oh, shit. No time Doc, lets motor!
Breezylimbo: Should I
Han Seoul-oh: Whoever these people were, they died long ago. The least we can do is put them out of their misery.
Breezylimbo: I mean, Im more concerned that theyre going to try and claw our eyes out, but okay.
*shotgun fire*
Breezylimbo: Booyah.
Zod the Bear: Lets just get to the guy, yeah?
Han Seoul-oh: Moving
<timestamp advance +45s>
Han Seoul-oh: Be careful coming out of the supermarket. Many infected.
Breezylimbo: Should we-
Han Seoul-oh: No. Youre too clumsy. I have eyes on our friend.
Breezylimbo: (indistinct swearing)
Baalzebup: Go grab him, well mop up these guys, and then well hoof it back to the ranger.
Han Seoul-oh: Sounds like a plan. On my way.
Breezylimbo: Im setting up shop in here
<timestamp advance +56s>
Han Seoul-oh: Doc! Its me-
???: Oh- Han! Damn, its good to see a friendly face-
Han Seoul-oh: No time for pleasantries. Come with me if you want to live.
???: But, my escort-
*mass screeching*
Han Seoul-oh: Oh, shit. No time Doc, lets motor!
Baalzebup: Mowing down this lot-
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Three tangos down get your asses back here!
Han Seoul-oh: Theyre on to us! Horde on its way in!
*combined arms fire*
Breezylimbo: Shit, Zod, call your damn targets!
Han Seoul-oh: Forget them, some of these fuckers can run!
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Three tangos down get your asses back here!
Han Seoul-oh: Theyre on to us! Horde on its way in!
*combined arms fire*
Breezylimbo: Shit, Zod, call your damn targets!
Han Seoul-oh: Forget them, some of these fuckers can run!
Han Seoul-oh: Move it, Doc, go go go!
???: I – uh-
Baalzebup: Go, we'll take care of them!
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Fuck-
*continual gattling cannon fire*
Zod the Bear: I'm just hosing them down but they just keep coming!
Baalzebup: That's what your mum said last night.
Zod the Bear: ...What?
???: I – uh-
Baalzebup: Go, we'll take care of them!
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: Fuck-
*continual gattling cannon fire*
Zod the Bear: I'm just hosing them down but they just keep coming!
Baalzebup: That's what your mum said last night.
Zod the Bear: ...What?
Zod the Bear: That doesnt even make any-
Han Seoul-oh: Doc, get to the chopper! Alpha, I left a present by the door, if you can detonate it-
Baalzebup: Too late, theyre here!
*combined weapons fire*
Zod the Bear: Tagged one-
Baalzebup: Me too.
Breezylimbo: No effect on target.
Zod the Bear: Shit, more dashers!
Baalzebup: Fuck my life.
Han Seoul-oh: Doc, get to the chopper! Alpha, I left a present by the door, if you can detonate it-
Baalzebup: Too late, theyre here!
*combined weapons fire*
Zod the Bear: Tagged one-
Baalzebup: Me too.
Breezylimbo: No effect on target.
Zod the Bear: Shit, more dashers!
Baalzebup: Fuck my life.
Menace: Central be advised, package is on board, repeat, package is away. Awaiting Alpha extract-
Zod the Bear: Baal, get the fuck outta there!
Baalzebup: Shit-
Zod the Bear: Frag out!
Han Seoul-oh: Wait, no-
*Explosion*
*screeching*
Han Seoul-oh: Explosions just piss them off!
Zod the Bear: You could have fuckin' said so sooner!
Breezylimbo: Fighting retreat, fall back! Get to the chopper!
*assault rifle fire*
*sniper rifle fire*
*sniper rifle fire*
Han Seoul-oh: Shit-
*assault rifle fire*
Baalzebup: I'm running dry-
*shotgun blasts*
Breezylimbo: Me too! There's just too many goddamn targets!
Han Seoul-oh: Too close too close too close-
Breezylimbo: Han!
Han Seoul-oh: Fuck, its got me!
Breezylimbo: Ive got you buddy, hang on-
*sound of physical altercation*
Baalzebup: Shit, did you just put your boot through that things head?
Breezylimbo: Menace! Ropes, now!
Menace: Alpha team is outbound, we are clear. Package is secure, no casualties.
Han Seoul-oh: Arggh that stings. Shit.
Zod the Bear: Nearly a perfect run, too.
Han Seoul-oh: You think youre disappointed? Youre not the one with slashes all down one arm. Theyre stronger than youd think damn. And we couldnt save the other one.
Baalzebup: Well, as long as you didnt get bitten, right?
Baalzebup: Right?
---TRANSCRIPT ENDS---
Promotions: N/A
Recovered: 1x Scientist
Zod the Bear: 13 | 3 (+9)
Baalzebup: 8 | 3 (+6)
Breezylimbo: 7 | 2 (+5)
Han Seoul-Oh: 3 | 3 (+1)
Incendiary
Banned
Alpha Team, we appreciate all you do out there in the field while the rest of us are on reserve sitting in the Avenger twiddling our thumbs.
Is Zombie by The Cranberries more suitable?
Is Zombie by The Cranberries more suitable?
Poodlestrike
Banned
So help me God, Trainee Incendiary, if I find you on the bridge with a pile of CDs again you're gonna end up a Resistance Liason in the Artic for the REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE!
Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
I'd love to get some practice but hey, if you guys can save the world all by your own, I won't complain either.
I mean, if you guys want something to do, we've got lots of things down in engineering that need to be tested. Not all of them have proper shielding on them yet, but the electrical tape should prevent most of the shocks. Just for the love of god remember to keep them pointed down range at all times and wait for all engineering personnel to exit the room before starting the test.
Zod the Bear
Member
I think it's time for research.
Psst...Dr. Deraldin! Can you find a way to hook up this old dvd player to the big briefing room monitor when Poodlestrike's asleep?
DirOps: At ease, ladies and gentlemen; whats the situation?
Poodlestrike: Sir, I think youll be wanting to see this.
Speaker Sblargh: (via holoscreen) because here at ADVENT, we really believe in freedom. Thats why were flying squads of peacekeepers over there right now to introduce as much freedom as we can into their wonderful, but really kinda pathetic, refugee camps. I know, I know youre saying, if theyre peacekeepers, why are they armed with gauss rifles and top-of-the-line military equipment? And the answer is, of course, to guard the peace once they keep it. Peace isnt some matter of namby-pamby bread and feeding people and medical aid, you know. Peace is something you have to fight for. Thats what we call, Aggressive Harmony. And thats the Wørd, well be right back.
DirOps: huh.
Poodlestrike: Sir, I think youll be wanting to see this.
Speaker Sblargh: (via holoscreen) because here at ADVENT, we really believe in freedom. Thats why were flying squads of peacekeepers over there right now to introduce as much freedom as we can into their wonderful, but really kinda pathetic, refugee camps. I know, I know youre saying, if theyre peacekeepers, why are they armed with gauss rifles and top-of-the-line military equipment? And the answer is, of course, to guard the peace once they keep it. Peace isnt some matter of namby-pamby bread and feeding people and medical aid, you know. Peace is something you have to fight for. Thats what we call, Aggressive Harmony. And thats the Wørd, well be right back.
DirOps: huh.
CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
//INCIDENT_REPORT_0004//
OPERATION SMOKING WHALE
<<"HARMONY ROCK" HAVEN, CHUNGCHEONGBUK, SOUTH KOREA>>
20 March 2035
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
CPL Zod the Bear
CPL Baalzebup
SPEC Tiamatsword22
SPEC Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt – STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
Zod the Bear: Touchdown, move, move, move!
Breezylimbo: CONTACT!
Breezylimbo: They don't normally come in white and glowy, right?
Tiamatsword22: I dunno if they're higher rank or what, but they're still stupid enough to take cover next to gas tanks. Get down!
*sniper rifle fire*
*EXPLOSION*
Breezylimbo: Poor effect on target – whiteboy's still kicking.
*faint pulsing sound*
Zod the Bear: You guys see that, just beyond the building? There might be another glower out there there-
Tiamatsword22: Let's worry about these fuckers in front of us first, yeah?
//INCIDENT_REPORT_0004//
OPERATION SMOKING WHALE
<<"HARMONY ROCK" HAVEN, CHUNGCHEONGBUK, SOUTH KOREA>>
20 March 2035
STRIKE TEAM ALPHA
CPL Zod the Bear
CPL Baalzebup
SPEC Tiamatsword22
SPEC Breezylimbo
---Audio Transcript Excerpt – STRIKE TEAM ALPHA---
Zod the Bear: Touchdown, move, move, move!
Breezylimbo: CONTACT!
Breezylimbo: They don't normally come in white and glowy, right?
Tiamatsword22: I dunno if they're higher rank or what, but they're still stupid enough to take cover next to gas tanks. Get down!
*sniper rifle fire*
*EXPLOSION*
Breezylimbo: Poor effect on target – whiteboy's still kicking.
*faint pulsing sound*
Zod the Bear: You guys see that, just beyond the building? There might be another glower out there there-
Tiamatsword22: Let's worry about these fuckers in front of us first, yeah?
I'm not quite sure how good a reference material that stuff will make, given how the genre tends go "and the military failed to contain it and everything went to shit." XCOM might not be the official UN outfit it used to be, but we're still the closest thing Earth has for a standing military. Advent sure as fuck doesn't count.
Aww, shit, middle of an update.
Zod the Bear: Here they come!
*gattling cannon fire*
Zod the Bear: Shit, he's fucking glowing-
Zod the Bear: I cant fucking move-!
*gauss rifle fire*
Breezylimbo: The shitbags are killing civilians!
Baalzebup: An old school terror mission, huh?
Zod the Bear: A little help here maybe?
Breezylimbo: On it Tiamat, cover me!
Tiamatsword22: You got it.
*pistol shot*
Breezylimbo: I hope this fucking works-
*metallic sound*
Breezylimbo: Motherfuckin booyah.
*gattling cannon fire*
Zod the Bear: Shit, he's fucking glowing-
Zod the Bear: I cant fucking move-!
*gauss rifle fire*
Breezylimbo: The shitbags are killing civilians!
Baalzebup: An old school terror mission, huh?
Zod the Bear: A little help here maybe?
Breezylimbo: On it Tiamat, cover me!
Tiamatsword22: You got it.
*pistol shot*
Breezylimbo: I hope this fucking works-
*metallic sound*
Breezylimbo: Motherfuckin booyah.
Zod the Bear: Thanks, that did it.
Baalzebup: Pectoid and pet, out and about!
*assault rifle fire*
*shotgun blast*
*pistol shot*
Tiamatsword22: Damnit, only winged it.
Breezylimbo: Didn't think I'd hit at this range-
Zod the Bear: What the fuck's pretty boy doing?
Zod the Bear: Christ! It brought his pal back!
Baalzebup: Okay, now you can use the zed word.
Baalzebup: Pectoid and pet, out and about!
*assault rifle fire*
*shotgun blast*
*pistol shot*
Tiamatsword22: Damnit, only winged it.
Breezylimbo: Didn't think I'd hit at this range-
Zod the Bear: What the fuck's pretty boy doing?
Zod the Bear: Christ! It brought his pal back!
Baalzebup: Okay, now you can use the zed word.
Tiamatsword22: You think if I...
*sniper rifle shot*
Breezylimbo: Zombie's down too! Good thinking, Tiamat.
Tiamatsword22: I just remembered, the old mission logs...
Baalzebup: That's right. Always shoot the glowy ones. Good thinking.
Zod the Bear: Alright, Alpha, let's break for those civvies. Sweep slowly and cautiously... there's that other glowy fucker out here somewhere. Be careful.
<timestamp advance +4m32s>
Unidentified Civilian: 고마워, 고마워!
Breezylimbo: That's three civvies, off the board-
Baalzebup: Look out!
*metallic sound*
Breezylimbo: HRKH-
*sniper rifle shot*
Breezylimbo: Zombie's down too! Good thinking, Tiamat.
Tiamatsword22: I just remembered, the old mission logs...
Baalzebup: That's right. Always shoot the glowy ones. Good thinking.
Zod the Bear: Alright, Alpha, let's break for those civvies. Sweep slowly and cautiously... there's that other glowy fucker out here somewhere. Be careful.
<timestamp advance +4m32s>
Unidentified Civilian: 고마워, 고마워!
Breezylimbo: That's three civvies, off the board-
Baalzebup: Look out!
*metallic sound*
Breezylimbo: HRKH-
Zod the Bear
Member
Breezy! Shit.