Support NeoGAF

[Jintor]

???: ɯʎ ןıɟǝ ɟoɹ ʇɥǝ ǝןpǝɹs¡
Baalzebup: Breezy!
Tiamatsword22: What the-
Zod the Bear: SHOOT IT!

*assault rifle fire*
*pistol shot*

Baalzebup: Where the fuck did that grunt come from-
Tiamatsword22: Winged the freakazoid!

Baalzebup: Breezy, are you-
Breezylimbo: I… hrgh… I can stand-
Baalzebup: Shit, let’s get you patched up.

Zod the Bear: Flashbanging the freak!
Tiamatsword22: ‘nade following!

*Explosion*

*explosion*

???: ʎon ɔɐuuoʇ sʇod ɯʎ sıƃɥʇ‘ ɯʎ ʌısıou-
Baalzebup: Bang didn't do shit! Here it comes again!

 

[Jintor]

*unidentified detonation*

Breezylimbo: I can’t- I can’t see-
Baalzebup: Fuck!

Zod the Bear: Firing!

*gattling cannon fire*

*pistol shot*

Zod the Bear: It’s still up-
Baalzebup: Zod, where are you-? I can’t-
Zod the Bear: Baal!
Baalzebup: I can’t see anything – kill it, Zod, kill it now!
Zod the Bear: Shitshitshit – FIRING!

*gattling cannon fire*

Zod the Bear: It’s- it’s finally fuckin’ down- what the hell?

*unidentified discharge*

Tiamatsword22: Now that’s something you don’t see every day.
Baalzebup: Fuck me! What the fuck was that thing?
Breezylimbo: Whatever it was… it nearly lopped… my fucking arm off...

*unidentified organic sound*

Zod the Bear: Okay, now what?

 

[Jintor]

Breezylimbo: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!

*shotgun blasts*

Zod the Bear: FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

*gattling cannon fire*

Zod the Bear: Holy shit. That better... be the last of them. Alpha, status!
Tiamatsword22: Clear!
Breezylimbo: …c-clear.

Baalzebup: Shit. At least that sludge monster was pretty easy to wreck.
Zod the Bear: Are you kidding me? That thing ate a full shotgun blast and gattling burst to the face.
Breezylimbo: And what… the fuck… was with that bitch with the sword?
Baalzebup: Definitely alien. Definitely glowy.
Zod the Bear: Didn’t get a corpse out of it, either. That worries me.
Tiamatsword22: I mean, if we get swords, I guess they get swords too.

Baalzebup: Still, that wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been.
Zod the Bear: Okay, look alive, people. Sweep the site, confirm no more ADVENT are lurking in the shadows, and let’s get these civvies the fuck outta here. Double time! Move it!

---TRANSCRIPT ENDS---

Promotions:
CPL Baalzebup -> SGT
CPL Zod the Bear -> SGT
SPEC Breezylimbo -> CPL [GRAVELY WOUNDED – 19 days]
SPEC Tiamatsword22 -> CPL

Recovered: 3 x Trooper corpses, 1 x Priest Corpse, 1 x Sectoid Corpse, 1 x Faceless Corpse

Zod the Bear: 15 | 4 (+2)
Baalzebup: 9 | 4 (+1)
Breezylimbo: 9 | 3 (+1)
Tiamatsword22: 4 | 2 (+2)

 

[Scepta]

Commander, fresh of my farm here. Those bastards seem to have been claiming my livestock. I'm not as fancy with guns as some of the other fellows.

But if you'll permit me I'm quite proficient with probing if you catch my drift. I would be very very happy to assist in dissecting whatever our soldiers would be *retrieving* out there.

 

[Baalzebup]

Spitting hot fire and mauling like your namesake, Zod. I sure am glad you're rolling with us.

.....I guess getting all of us out of that one alive was the best one could ask for. Where and when the fuck did the aliens get themselves some kind of a fucking ninja?

 

[Zod the Bear]

Spitting hot fire and mauling like your namesake, Zod. I sure am glad you're rolling with us.

.....I guess getting all of us out of that one alive was the best one could ask for. Where and when the fuck did the aliens get themselves some kind of a fucking ninja?

Don't know where it came from, but I'm sleeping with my gun next to my bunk and a grenade under my pillow from here on out. Hopefully we'll get a briefing on whatever it might've been before the next deployment.

With invisible blade wielders and shapechanging gooey monstrosities out there, I'm not looking forward to the next surprise the aliens throw at us.

 

[johancruijff]

i infiltrated the famous ADVENTpalooza in Berlin last week, their crowd control strategy is getting more refined by the day

i'll send the report to the local resistance commanding officer

 

[Jintor]

Commander, fresh of my farm here. Those bastards seem to have been claiming my livestock. I'm not as fancy with guns as some of the other fellows.

But if you'll permit me I'm quite proficient with probing if you catch my drift. I would be very very happy to assist in dissecting whatever our soldiers would be *retrieving* out there.

To: Dr Scepta
From: Dr Erheller
Subj: Your recent appointment

Scepta,

I found a bunch of dentist tools out in the storeroom. God knows what the ayys were using them for, but they'll probably come in handy, i bet.

I also found a circular saw and a firehose, as requested.

Yours,
Dr Erheller (Psy.D, DVM, MD, XMD)

 

[Incendiary]

With invisible blade wielders and shapechanging gooey monstrosities out there, I'm not looking forward to the next surprise the aliens throw at us.

*The theme song from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is heard playing over the Avenger speaker system, followed by loud shouting, sounds of a scuffle and several CDs breaking*

 

[Jintor]

Apologies for the interruption to normal operations, all. The Commander was busy embedding with the simulation and predictive analysis division

Spoiler

finishing his other savegame

and is currently in the process of pulling together documentation to resume normal reporting procedures. Expect an update within the next few days.