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What is up with strangers telling people to smile?

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H

Htown

STOP SHITTING ON MY MOTHER'S HEADSTONE
Fiction said:
Oh, it's interesting that you think only those who live in war zones can suffer. Because things like rape, murder, and torture, and seriously illness and injury don't exist in places like America. Nope! Must be awesome to live that idealistically. Really, you have NO IDEA what myself and other posters have gone through in their lives. The smile thing is annoying as shit, because a lot of us get it constantly. Because we are annoyed by it, you assume our lives must be picture perfect. That's honestly hilarious.
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King Cobra's thing is to go into threads and look down on people who care about whatever. I wouldn't worry about it.
 
F

FStop7

Banned
I agree, OP.

How about you not tell me what to do, stranger.

Ventara said:
I don't do it, but it has happened to me, and I don't find it weird or creepy at all. It's not an order or a demand, they just want to cheer you up a bit. Smiling shows a positive appearance, which is more likely to get a positive response around you, thus giving you a better day.

Seriously, you guys are thinking about this too much. If you don't want to smile, then fine, don't.
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It's douchey and patronizing.

lunarworks said:
Angelina Jolie once told me to smile.

Ten years later, I'm still not sure what to make of it.
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Are you Brad Pitt? If not, are you Jennifer Aniston?

Agnt said:
Smile bb :)
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If you're referring to the place I think you are, then yeah - I agree. This is basically the same behavior, in the long form.
 
K

Kozak

Banned
Should get together a few dudebros on GAF and organise a REAL GAF Party.

get some of you out of your shells
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Goldenroad said:
There are like a million things that annoy me more, but yeah, I guess people should probably just mind their own business. But I've heard it before and been like "yeah, why am I not smiling?"...particularly at like concerts and festivals and places where I should be having a great time, and I might be on the inside, but yeah, why not share that with people and make them all feel good too?
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Being happy on the inside should be enough. Facial Expression Police lol. You're never looking at your face anyway, so why should you care what some random bozo wants your face to look like? You're fine for not smiling, don't let others make you out to be some outlier.

Believe me, this is not about others trying to make you feel good. If they did, they would actually do something to make you so outwardly cheery rather than ask it blatantly from you because they have no imagination or want to put in the effort.
 
J

Jarate

Banned
Super Nothing said:
I had this happen at a bar one time. Some friends and I stopped into a bar for a few minutes before heading somewhere else. We drank a few beers and were talking, just hanging out. Then a guy that we went to high school with came over. We hadn't seen him in about 5 or 6 years. He was telling us that we looked like we weren't having any fun and that we needed to liven it up some. We were pretty offended. We were just talking about random stuff, are we supposed to be jumping up and dancing around? Can't we just sit at a table and converse over a few beers? We were enjoying ourselves just fine, thanks.
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Honestly, I understand this might be a problem if it happens randomly on the streets, but an acquaintance you know at a bar is interested in making you more happy, and you got offended.
 
K

Kozak

Banned
FStop7 said:
You really don't have very well developed social skills, do you?
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Dunno, I seem to do better in real life.

weemadarthur said:
Wut?

I'm not attending a party full of dudebros.
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Theres your issue. Why exactly are you unable to enjoy the company of certain types of people? Pretty discriminatory if you ask me. What if some dudebros just wanted to chill and do some LAN gaming? Can't do brah, gotta go drink up and party cause nobody wants to play video games with you.

:)

ill probably have to stop posting tho before I get in trouble. =[
 
S

Super Nothing

Member
Jarate said:
Honestly, I understand this might be a problem if it happens randomly on the streets, but an acquaintance you know at a bar is interested in making you more happy, and you got offended.
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The guy wasn't trying to cheer anyone up, he was annoyed that we didn't appear to be having enough fun as if it were affecting him somehow. He was very obnoxious about us putting on a show of having tons of fun. We were just fine without his interference.
 
Y

YesNOnoNOYes

Member
Kozak said:
Theres your issue. Why exactly are you unable to enjoy the company of certain types of people? Pretty discriminatory if you ask me. What if some dudebros just wanted to chill and do some LAN gaming? Can't do brah, gotta go drink up and party cause nobody wants to play video games with you.

:)

ill probably have to stop posting tho before I get in trouble. =[
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This is one of the most awk attempts at being cute I have witnessed at GAF.




*cringe*
 
B

besada

Banned
Kozak said:
Should get together a few dudebros on GAF and organise a REAL GAF Party.

get some of you out of your shells
Click to expand...

FSB6mFc.gif
 
rokkerkory

rokkerkory

Member
Skiesofwonder said:
I've had this happen to me a few times now. I'm just going about my business, not in a bad mood once so ever, and I'll walk by someone I've never met before in my life and they tell me to "smile". Usually I chuckle and walk away, but then I start to think about it and become uncomfortable. I mean seriously, what an awkward-ass thing to say to someone you don't know. But usually l don't get too worked up about it until my girlfriend told me today that it happens all the time to her. She said early this week that she was in the gym, and when walking to the water fountain some guy told her to "smile". Who the hell smiles at the gym, really?

It really makes me sick now that I think about it. That person has no clue who you are or why you aren't smiling at that current moment. Maybe a family member recently passed away? Maybe you've had a bad day? Maybe you just don't smile around the clock 24/7. And do they expect that them telling someone to smile is going to make that person happy? Does that make a lick of sense? Such a comment is one hundred percent made for some stupid ass self-fulfillment at the benefit of another person's feelings. Fuck that.
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U mad for this? Really? Good grief.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Skiesofwonder said:
I've had this happen to me a few times now. I'm just going about my business, not in a bad mood once so ever, and I'll walk by someone I've never met before in my life and they tell me to "smile". Usually I chuckle and walk away, but then I start to think about it and become uncomfortable. I mean seriously, what an awkward-ass thing to say to someone you don't know. But usually l don't get too worked up about it until my girlfriend told me today that it happens all the time to her. She said early this week that she was in the gym, and when walking to the water fountain some guy told her to "smile". Who the hell smiles at the gym, really?

It really makes me sick now that I think about it. That person has no clue who you are or why you aren't smiling at that current moment. Maybe a family member recently passed away? Maybe you've had a bad day? Maybe you just don't smile around the clock 24/7. And do they expect that them telling someone to smile is going to make that person happy? Does that make a lick of sense? Such a comment is one hundred percent made for some stupid ass self-fulfillment at the benefit of another person's feelings. Fuck that.
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I understand the irritation, but perhaps the person does genuinely hope that they're brightening your day.
 
J

John Kowalski

Banned
King Cobra said:
Please spare me the "You don't know what I've been through" story, if you’re spending time posting on a online forum it can’t be like living in Ghaza. People who actually go through real issues aren't so weak that someone telling them to smile will make them question their reason for living. Being privileged is having a life so conflict free that a mere harmless comment like "smile" will piss you off so if anything please check your privilege.
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★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Andiie said:
How is saying "Smile" supposed to make someone's day though? That's what I don't get.
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Because someone cares! You're not alone! Sometimes, everybody cries!
 
G

GorillaJu

Member
As an expat in a foreign country I get people coming up to me all the time saying "hello" and "how are you" often when I can't be bothered to have a conversation. The worst is "where are you from?" I must have had the "I'm from California" "ooooh California very nice place!" Conversation about 700 times. Yes it can feel belittling if I overthink it, like I'm just their object for entertainment.

But they don't know they're the 700th person to ask me where I'm from. They're just trying to be friendly, test their English, and engage with someone in a different culture. It's bothersome to me when I just want to be left in peace but how can I expect them to know how I feel about it or how many times I've had the same "oh you can speak Japanese! Hwaaow!" exchange. I don't internalize it to mean something about me. It's about THEM.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
OddMorsel said:
As an expat in a foreign country I get people coming up to me all the time saying "hello" and "how are you" often when I can't be bothered to have a conversation. The worst is "where are you from?" I must have had the "I'm from California" "ooooh California very nice place!" Conversation about 700 times. Yes it can feel belittling if I overthink it, like I'm just their object for entertainment.

But they don't know they're the 700th person to ask me where I'm from. They're just trying to be friendly, test their English, and engage with someone in a different culture. It's bothersome to me when I just want to be left in peace but how can I expect them to know how I feel about it or how many times I've had the same "oh you can speak Japanese! Hwaaow!" exchange. I don't internalize it to mean something about me. It's about THEM.
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I personally really like this (especially Americans and Europeans) when I'm travelling because I get a chance to talk with the locals but if they asked me to do something like saying "smile", then they'd be out of bounds. If I wasn't in the mood, you're right that it would be hard to dismiss them without sounding negative.
 
G

GorillaJu

Member
Messofanego said:
I personally really like this (especially Americans and Europeans) when I'm travelling because I get a chance to talk with the locals but if they asked me to do something like saying "smile", then they'd be out of bounds. If I wasn't in the mood, you're right that it would be hard to dismiss them without sounding negative.
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Humor me—why is "smile" crossing the line?
 
W

weemadarthur

Member
Kozak said:
Theres your issue. Why exactly are you unable to enjoy the company of certain types of people? Pretty discriminatory if you ask me. What if some dudebros just wanted to chill and do some LAN gaming? Can't do brah, gotta go drink up and party cause nobody wants to play video games with you.
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I doubt you are seriously asking a question, or listening to answers, but on the off chance...

I cannot enjoy the company of dudebros because of how they treat me. Also, our views of life/ethics/important stuff are antithetical. I don't enjoy what they do for fun either.
 
I

Irminsul

Member
OddMorsel said:
Humor me—why is "smile" crossing the line?
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Because it tells you that you should change in order to make your counterpart happy.

It's completely different from asking where you come from or admiring that you speak the local language. Getting angry about that is pretty silly, I agree. Because these people have to assume you don't without knowing anything more about you.

Nobody should assume random people on the street should smile all the time, however. That's some dystopian shit.
 
E

Edwardo

Member
Ya my neutral face is sorta angry-looking. I've been told to smile fairly often even though I'm generally always happy. Also, my friends call me angryface sometimes.
 
A

AdventureRacing

Member
rokkerkory said:
U mad for this? Really? Good grief.
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Well it's actually a pretty offensive thing to say, you're basically telling someone they look unhappy. Maybe they they're not happy for a reason (who knows maybe they've lost someone and don't want to be told to smile). Maybe that's just how they look normally. Maybe they're just really focused on something.

You're imposing something on someone that you don't know, it's completely unnecessary and meant only to benefit yourself. I can easily see why it offends people (my mum gets this all the time because she naturally looks a bit grumpy even when shes happy).

I generally look happy most of the time but i don't try and impose that on everyone. Even then there is no one who is always smiling so it seems strange to single someone out and ask them to do it just because they aren't smiling at that exact moment. You're basically telling that person that you think they look grumpy or unhappy because you sure as shit don't say that to every person you meet not smiling or you would be saying it all day.
 
L

Lowmelody

Member
People should leave strangers the fuck alone when they are out an about. No one cares to entertain your state of mind nor feed your ego with attention because everything so nice and fuzzy in your bubble. It's not so much upsetting that some think do that as it is the defense of it after people have the gall to give their honest opinion about it.

It's made out of the same memememememe particles as flash mobs. grosscity
 
C

computers putin'

Member
I don't do this, everybody has there own issues or carry themselves in there own way, telling them to smile isn't going to make anything better. I remember a few years back I walked into a local pizza spot I go to often, and the girl behind the counter told me to smile, which pissed me because my mom had passed earlier in the summer and I had been depressed.I mean of course she didn't know that, but I don't wanna end up feeling self conscious of how I look, and irritated because someone tried to tell me what to do, on top of feeling depressed. that situation just made me even more mindful of not to say that to others.
 
F

feel

Member
I get asked "What's wrong? What happened? Everything ok?" constantly while feeling pretty normal.

The Upset Resting Face struggle is real.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
computers putin' said:
I don't do this, everybody has there own issues or carry themselves in there own way, telling them to smile isn't going to make anything better. I remember a few years back I walked into a local pizza spot I go to often, and the girl behind the counter told me to smile, which pissed me because my mom had passed earlier in the summer and I had been depressed.I mean of course she didn't know that, but I don't wanna end up feeling self conscious of how I look, and irritated because someone tried to tell me what to do, on top of feeling depressed. that situation just made me even more mindful of not to say that to others.
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Yup, makes you self-conscious about how you look to others. Two bad things can result from this: you start looking at yourself on your phone or in reflections more and more, or you start worrying about how you look more and more when those aren't available. The only thing is to not care about that to at least a reasonable level where you're still approachable (not stinking).
 
D

Dabookerman

Member
BGBW said:
Never happened to me, but I live in London where
1. everyone is miserable
2. No one dares to talk to another stranger in case they get stabbed.
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Yup! One of the best things about the UK

And if someone tells you to smile, you do this!

zramMmE.gif

"Better?"
 
D

DurielBlack

Member
It's annoying when that happens to me.
The other one is "Why are you so quiet?"

Maybe I am not smiling and am being silent because I'm not doing anything particularly fun or have anything that needs talking about?

Just because I come home from work and don't give the family a recap of how many e-mails I read or how bored I was with a stupid grin on my face doesn't mean anything is wrong. In fact with my job it's pretty much the opposite. If I have anything to talk about then something bad happened. If I'm not talking then it was a good day.

That said, even if I do find it annoying, there are a lot worse things people can say so it's not that big of a deal.
 
G

gugi40

Member
In the newspaper the other day, it was talking about public harassment of women and there was a site that women could go tell their stories instead of stay in silence on the matter, one of the stories had a quote that made me think of this thread.

"You would be sexier if you smiled"

Why is anyone telling people to smile anyway?
Why don't you look the way I want you to look!? Lmao
 
A

Astral

Member
Messofanego said:
Yup, makes you self-conscious about how you look to others. Two bad things can result from this: you start looking at yourself on your phone or in reflections more and more, or you start worrying about how you look more and more when those aren't available. The only thing is to not care about that to at least a reasonable level where you're still approachable (not stinking).
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This is an excellent point. Fuck you stranger. You're not making me feel any better by telling me to smile. You're making it worse.
 
T

TheHollowNight

Member
Devolution said:
Hey maybe you should actually I dunno maybe believe the women here that tell you the type of guy who say it to them and how they're coming off, instead of just assuming we're being hyperbolic and negative.

It would kill some of y'all to be empathetic to the fact that we are constantly infantilized or belittled by jerks and expected to conform to lame standards, like being fucking perky, lest we are some "uptight bitch."
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I've only got this far through the thread, but this is a truthbomb yo.

Asking strangers to smile, will forever be weird as fuck & especially creepy when men say it to women. Any of my female friends who've had this happen to them always find that it comes off super awkward and yucky, and please get this guy away from me now ew. It's like 'sure, I'm going to smile because it pleases you to think you made me smile, maybe I dunno, fuck off?'
 
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