TheHollowNight
Member
Did you ignore the whole thread mister?
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What is up with strangers telling people to smile?
- Thread starter Skiesofwonder
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Did you ignore the whole thread mister?
It's pretty weird to hear a stranger tell you to smile as you walk by. Maybe it comes from a good place sometimes, I don't know. I'm usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, but at best, it's a weak platitude. If I looked like shit and someone was genuinely concerned for my well-being, they wouldn't tell me to smile -- they'd ask me if I was OK.
When you tell a stranger to smile in passing, you've made an assumption that they need a pick-me-up. Fair enough, but you probably don't stick around to find out if your assumption was true. You don't stop to ask them their name, how they're doing, what sort of things they've got going on in their lives. You don't try to get to know them. You continue on your way, content in the knowledge that you were able to brighten up someone's morning. You've made yourself feel better.
I'm generally a happy person. I smile at people or nod to acknowledge their presence when I make eye contact. I don't tell then to fuck off when they tell me to smile. At least they're trying to be positive and communicate -- maybe. But chances are, they don't actually care. Cheer someone up with legitimate compliments, not by insinuating that they look like a sourpuss. Hey, nice shoes! Love that haircut! Where'd you get that awesome t-shirt?
And it doesn't help that the directive is a hallmark of sleazy dudes who are desperate to break the ice with women. The concept takes on a whole new level of creepy when it has an undercurrent of "Smile for me, beautiful". Yuck. Go home and find some camgirls online, at least they'll get paid.
When you tell a stranger to smile in passing, you've made an assumption that they need a pick-me-up. Fair enough, but you probably don't stick around to find out if your assumption was true. You don't stop to ask them their name, how they're doing, what sort of things they've got going on in their lives. You don't try to get to know them. You continue on your way, content in the knowledge that you were able to brighten up someone's morning. You've made yourself feel better.
I'm generally a happy person. I smile at people or nod to acknowledge their presence when I make eye contact. I don't tell then to fuck off when they tell me to smile. At least they're trying to be positive and communicate -- maybe. But chances are, they don't actually care. Cheer someone up with legitimate compliments, not by insinuating that they look like a sourpuss. Hey, nice shoes! Love that haircut! Where'd you get that awesome t-shirt?
And it doesn't help that the directive is a hallmark of sleazy dudes who are desperate to break the ice with women. The concept takes on a whole new level of creepy when it has an undercurrent of "Smile for me, beautiful". Yuck. Go home and find some camgirls online, at least they'll get paid.
Jesus Christ, it´s like these "you people are just grumpy!"-guys in this thread are actively trying to misunderstand the whole point of this discussion.
It has absolutely ZERO to do with what person you ACTUALLY are. I´m a very outgoing and friendly person. When I talk to people I love to feel them appreciated, I make eye contact, I love small talk, really, meeting new people is one of my favourite things in the world.
You know how brighten peoples day? By SMILING YOURSELF. It´s much easier, less intrusive (it´s not a direct command) and they are free to decide whether they want to smile back at you.
Saying "hey, smile!" implies that I´m unhappy at the moment, that I´m some grumpy guy, which doesn´t have to be the case at all. I could just be lost in thought. I could have a headache. I´m really glad most of the posters here agree that it is obnoxious, and again, it has NOTHING TO DO with being uptight, unhappy, or not outgoing. The whole problem is the implication itself: "Hey, what´s your problem? Why are you so mad? Life isn´t so bad as you think it is, you know? Turn that frown upside down!" It´s judgemental. You don´t make people happy by pointing out that they look unhappy and then instruct them to make a smile even if they don´t feel like it.
Again: If you really love people smiling, try smiling at them instead of telling them to smile. It makes a gigantic difference.
It has absolutely ZERO to do with what person you ACTUALLY are. I´m a very outgoing and friendly person. When I talk to people I love to feel them appreciated, I make eye contact, I love small talk, really, meeting new people is one of my favourite things in the world.
You know how brighten peoples day? By SMILING YOURSELF. It´s much easier, less intrusive (it´s not a direct command) and they are free to decide whether they want to smile back at you.
Saying "hey, smile!" implies that I´m unhappy at the moment, that I´m some grumpy guy, which doesn´t have to be the case at all. I could just be lost in thought. I could have a headache. I´m really glad most of the posters here agree that it is obnoxious, and again, it has NOTHING TO DO with being uptight, unhappy, or not outgoing. The whole problem is the implication itself: "Hey, what´s your problem? Why are you so mad? Life isn´t so bad as you think it is, you know? Turn that frown upside down!" It´s judgemental. You don´t make people happy by pointing out that they look unhappy and then instruct them to make a smile even if they don´t feel like it.
Again: If you really love people smiling, try smiling at them instead of telling them to smile. It makes a gigantic difference.
What's nice about telling someone to smile? Basically, you're enforcing your perception of their mood and telling them to be different. I have people tell me to smile all the time and I'm not in a bad mood. Expecting everyone to walk around with a smile plastered ear to ear so you can feel comfortable with their mood is not really being "nice."
Now tell me "have a great day" unsolicited or you smile at me and we're in business.
Now tell me "have a great day" unsolicited or you smile at me and we're in business.
hydrophilic attack
Member
This. I try to give a smile and a nod at people working underappreciated jobs like bus drivers, shop attendants, cleaners and the like. Maybe it makes their day a tiny bit better.
Wind's Howling
Member
I have seen it happen' countless of times when I am walking through Amsterdam.
A good looking woman passes by and some idiotic stranger tells her to smile.
And then they wonder why they do not have a SO.
This crap especially happens with Moroccans, Turkish and Greeks here in Amsterdam.
A good looking woman passes by and some idiotic stranger tells her to smile.
And then they wonder why they do not have a SO.
This crap especially happens with Moroccans, Turkish and Greeks here in Amsterdam.
Horseticuffs
Full werewolf off the buckle
Lol many years ago back when I was married I'd found out my wife had finally made the plunge and physically cheated on me. She'd cheated emotionally for years but finally, the night before, she'd told me she'd slept with someone else.
The funny, awful thing is that the very next day at work while I'm holding inside all this unspeakable sadness and horror and just trying to keep my shit together and THAT fucking day every jackass I met seemed to be taking unsolicited about their awesome loving relationships.
Funny how shit like that happens. I hope things are looking up for you these days.
Holy Order Sol
Member
Used to get this a lot as a kid, which in turn caused me to work even harder in that poker face in all circumstances thing, because fuck you.
Last time someone said that to me it was a teacher in my third year at university. I just replied "no" and she dropped it.
These days if some random shithead tries it I probably won't hear it though due to having my headphones on when I'm out.
Last time someone said that to me it was a teacher in my third year at university. I just replied "no" and she dropped it.
These days if some random shithead tries it I probably won't hear it though due to having my headphones on when I'm out.
Dot Matrix
Member
http://stoptellingwomentosmile.com/
To me it’s up there with honking at attractive women or wolf whistling at them. What is the absolute best possible outcome? Someone cracks a forced smile and calls you a twat under their breath? I’ve seen people get a Glasgow kiss for less!
To me it’s up there with honking at attractive women or wolf whistling at them. What is the absolute best possible outcome? Someone cracks a forced smile and calls you a twat under their breath? I’ve seen people get a Glasgow kiss for less!
weemadarthur
Member
Does this mean a punch in the face?
A head-butt.
AtomskEater
Member
Yeah fuck actually reading what people are saying
I was kinda wondering where this happens because I have never seen this in my country. People will smile, nod, or say hi when passing a stranger, but telling someone to smile is some condescending shit. It's not being nice, it's being judgemental.
Don't say smile, just say hi.
VanillaCakeIsBurning
Member
I've noticed throughout this thread that various people are disingenuously acting as if legitimate reasons are not being provided for why someone might not like being told to smile by a random stranger.
Freshmaker
I am Korean.
I did have one guy get angry at me for not smiling. Pretty sure the dude was drunk, but he said I should smile. I didn't respond because it's a jackoff thing to say.
From there the conversation went like this:
"Smile!"
"Smile!"
"SMILE!!!"
Lasted about a minute with him getting red faced while I had decided I wasn't going to smile in his presence ever because fuck this guy.
Talk about spreading the cheer and paying it forward.
From there the conversation went like this:
"Smile!"
"Smile!"
"SMILE!!!"
Lasted about a minute with him getting red faced while I had decided I wasn't going to smile in his presence ever because fuck this guy.
Talk about spreading the cheer and paying it forward.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Reading a bit in this thread reminded me of how angry this actually makes me. My emotions are my own, and someone commanding me to show one that I may not be feeling takes me out of whatever mood I may have been in and puts me in a bad one. I've also seen the people that their parents or somebody told them to smile all the time during their childhood, walking around with a contorted mouth and a pained look in their eyes.
If you're actually one of the people that tells random strangers to smile, please take a look at the responses in this thread and realize how inconsiderate you are when you do it.
If you're actually one of the people that tells random strangers to smile, please take a look at the responses in this thread and realize how inconsiderate you are when you do it.
I just had a guy at work yesterday telling me I should be smiling because it's Friday. The problem was that he was telling me this while we were in the restroom, side by side at the urinals (the restroom only has two urinals). It was so annoying because I have bathroom shyness - I have difficulties going when people are near me or talking to me... I won't smile just because you ask me to and I certainly won't do it in the bathroom...
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
That's creepy as hell. Why would anyone ever talk to a man with his penis in his hand?
Telling someone to smile isn't being nice to someone. Smiling at them is. If you want to see a person smile, smile at them. If they don't return the smile, move on and realize that other people don't exist to fulfill your whims.
Yep.
And sometimes a simple "Good morning/afternoon or hi" is way more effective. It always makes me feel better. But being told to smile is vastly uncomfortable, especially if I don't know you.
ProfessorMoran
Member
AtomskEater
Member
Drive-by posts where people want to spout their 2 cents without taking the time to actually understand what's being discussed happen in basically every topic, but it's still so annoying when I see it.
I've been told to smile a few times, once by a dude who insisted he "wasn't going away" until I did (and hey he worked at that restaurant anyway but...)
It always struck me as a very weird thing to say.
I'm sorry, but if you're standing with your face inches away from a blank white wall whilst simultaneously voiding your bladder and you're not smiling that just comes off as weird.
Vermillion
Banned
Never said it was the best way - just that many people probably don't have malicious intent behind it.
I did have a good laugh yesterday on the bus when I spotted a sign saying "smile! you're beautiful"
I wasn't offended obviously. It just reminded me of this thread and how much I hate people saying it.
I'd say most people that say it me and my friends only intentions are to make themselves feel better either because they're uncomfortable or because they're trying to hit on us.
I wasn't offended obviously. It just reminded me of this thread and how much I hate people saying it.
It depends on what we consider malicious intent.
I'd say most people that say it me and my friends only intentions are to make themselves feel better either because they're uncomfortable or because they're trying to hit on us.
EdibleExplosives
Member
That's only happened once with me with some drunk tit, almost got into a fight over it.
Fried Food
Banned
I don't think that's ever happened to me, at least not by a total stranger
Messofanego
Banned
I don't even get what that means.
So, you're beautiful already and you should smile? For more beauty deemed by someone, which seems pointless? Or you'll only be beautiful if you smile?
I don't know. I think it's a message assuming we're not smiling because we think we're ugly or something.
Yeah; sounds like a confidence booster to me. Reminded me of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful". It's no secret that people with confidence issues are less likely to smile.
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