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What's the stupidest thing a doctor has ever said to you during a check up?

Mondai

Member
The last time I went to my old VA doctor in New York, my legs and lower back are screwed up and the only solution he gave me was "I have a list of 3 stretching exercises that you need to do that will cure you, my 90 year old grandma had hip replacement surgery and they did these stretches and it cured her". Then he would talk to me with a suspicious tone like he thought I was lying about my physical issues, that's when I knew I could never go to this doctor again, talking to him was a waste of time for me.
 
Had a doctor tell my wife she had a calf strain when the ultrasound imaging techs had minutes earlier used the phrase “hanging on by a thread” to describe the condition of her achilles tendon. For some reason we trusted his judgement, because he was the doctor after all. That bad diagnosis delayed treatment, but it all worked out on the end. Moral of the story, don’t trust your doctor just because they’re a doctor.
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
In The Neterlands all doctors say the same thing, regardles of the symptoms:

"Take some paracetamol".

🤡
Shit is good though helps you out with a cold and flu. when I had covid I took some to get rid of the symptoms of headache etc.
Too much paracetamol is bad for you though.

Otherwise. No doctors here have been good.
Unless you count meditation as a stupid thing to say one doc suggested that to me.
 
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GeekyDad

Member
The last time I went to my old VA doctor in New York, my legs and lower back are screwed up and the only solution he gave me was "I have a list of 3 stretching exercises that you need to do that will cure you, my 90 year old grandma had hip replacement surgery and they did these stretches and it cured her". Then he would talk to me with a suspicious tone like he thought I was lying about my physical issues, that's when I knew I could never go to this doctor again, talking to him was a waste of time for me.
Weird-as-fuck timing, I must say. I was just thinking yesterday -- because my knee was hurting really badly -- about this doctor my neurologist sent me to. My neurologist said he had similar issues, and that this doctor gave him some kind of shot, and he's never had any issues in his knee again. So, I went to this guy, and he prescribed...stretching. Well, you see, the thing is, after the chemotherapy, this shit all began. So, this fucking cocksmoker wanted me to do stretching to fix it. Um...buddy, I can't do the fucking stretching because, well, my fucking knees are in excruciating pain.

I got the impression it was a formality forced by some government agency, but fuck him anyway. My neurologist is a good guy, but he sent me to a callous moron.
 

VN1X

Banned
In The Neterlands all doctors say the same thing, regardles of the symptoms:

"Take some paracetamol".

🤡
True.
3x
 

Winter John

Gold Member
"Well, that was dumb. Why did you let her stab you?" I said what? I didn't "let" her stab me. It wasn't like I was standing in the kitchen with my arms wide open inviting her to stick me in the side. Then the medic says, "You must've done something to annoy her." It was at that point I realised you don't actually have to be too bright to become a medic. I didn't say it out loud of course cos I figured she might stab me too.
 

Nico_D

Member
Nothing totally absurd but the usual "just take painkillers", "that's definitely not rotator cuff syndrome" and "mold allergy is purely imaginary and only exists in person's mind".
 

Quasicat

Member
I go in for a sinus infection, she checks all of my stats and vitals and says every time, “You should get a membership to the gym across the street and start working out.”
I started to going to a new doctor a few month ago and he tells me the same thing…seriously!?!
 

Spaceman292

Banned
I go in for a sinus infection, she checks all of my stats and vitals and says every time, “You should get a membership to the gym across the street and start working out.”
I started to going to a new doctor a few month ago and he tells me the same thing…seriously!?!
Maybe they were just saying that in general because you're fat
 

STARSBarry

Gold Member
I once suffered an extreme ashma attack, this required paramedics to come out as I had not had an attack since I was a child and had recently moved down south so did not have an inhaler on me. Essentially had an ambulance out at around 3 in the morning and they had shove a tube down my throat to keep my airways clear and pump oxygen, this blasted me with a few puffs of anti inflammatory steroids and after about 30 minutes I was fine. But they advised for me to go to a doctor and get my blue and brown inhalers.

So I register with a GP and get an appointment and go to see them. The dude was some Asian with a super thick accent, could hardly speak English. He point blank said he didn't think the attack I had that had required an ambulance was related, and said I didn't need an inhaler. It was the first time I had an argument with a medical professional but it ended in with me stating I was entitled to inhalers because I was asthmatic and they where preventative even if the symptoms where not currently showing. He begrudgingly wrote it out and I got my inhalers.

Honestly even years later I still remember how stupid that response was, thank god I have never encountered anything like it again. I actually ended up moving again, it seems that due to the fumes in cities it sets my ashma off after extended periods of time, now that I am back in the country I have not had an attack for well over a decade.
 
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BigBooper

Member
Not a doctor, an RN specializing in clinical research, but she told me not to drink tea because it would dehydrate me. I've heard a few people say something similar, but that was the first time a medical professional said it.

Caffeine has a diuretic effect, but not nearly enough to nullify the extra water you're taking in with it.
 

Punished Miku

Gold Member
Anecdote #1: I work with a Dr. who drinks a Starbucks every morning with 7 shots of espresso in it. Sometimes she'll tap me on the shoulder to say good job or something, and her grip is like the hulk and leaves bruises. She says stupid shit all the time. Whenever I send her emails I have to use bullet points and bold and highlight anything I need an answer on because she reads about 10% of what is written at the speed she flies through it. She's clearly super smart, but benefits a lot from people who aren't afraid to question her and make her look at things a 2nd time.

Anecdote #2: I had a sociology professor in college that had a cool tradition that I thought was impressive. Every December after classes finished he'd fly to get a physical at Johns Hopkins. I immediately realized that the hardest part of being a doctor is diagnosing shit accurately and early. Any doctor after that can follow most of the current literature / evidence and treat you by just following available instructions. That early physical and assessment is the critical part, and this guy paid extra for that every year. Smart.
 

teezzy

Banned
When I was very young, I was obese. My doctor once told me that if I kept eating the way I did, I'd be as big as a house one day.

I cried all the way home. Tears rolling down my chubby cheeks so my aunt took me to a Chinese restaurant to cheer me up. I got fatter.
 

ChazAshley

Gold Member
Past: Had knee issues due to some sports. Doc said it was due to an allergy.

Recent: Recently lose 17 lbs due to diabetes (without realizing that it was diabetes) - doc pretty much said, "you're probably fine"
 

StreetsofBeige

Gold Member
Nothing specific I remember like a misdiagnosis.

But I just find it funny how you see your doc for a check up or to go over some kind of results.

The lady working the front desk booking appointments even asks you why you want to see a doctor and you can say annual check up or blood pressure test.

Then when you see the doc a few weeks later, he walks in and asks why you are here and what can he do?

Well, doesn’t the appointment lady give you a heads up with a note saying why I’m showing up????
 
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p_xavier

Authorized Fister
When I was very young, I was obese. My doctor once told me that if I kept eating the way I did, I'd be as big as a house one day.

I cried all the way home. Tears rolling down my chubby cheeks so my aunt took me to a Chinese restaurant to cheer me up. I got fatter.
Well I think your doctor was right, have you seen the size of houses these days? Some are smaller than closets. Your doctor probably had a sideline as a realtor, that's all.
 

teezzy

Banned
Well I think your doctor was right, have you seen the size of houses these days? Some are smaller than closets. Your doctor probably had a sideline as a realtor, that's all.

I lost the weight eventually when I was like 16 or so. Really turned my whole life 180 degrees. Dressed cooler. Hooked up with the punk and metal head girls... oo golly.
 

Fbh

Member
Wasn't during a check up or anything like that, but I know a dude who is a doctor and graduated from one of the top universities in the country and he argues that we shouldn't eat meat because when animals are at the slaughterhouse they feel a lot of anger and fear and those negative emotions are than transmitted to us when we eat their meat and that's one of the main reasons for stuff like depression or violent behavior........ yeah (and yeah, he is Vegan)
 

manfestival

Member
My biggest thing is their readiness to throw pills on me instead of giving me solutions or actual suggestions to apply. Talking about situations outside of infections lol
 

kraspkibble

Permabanned.
how are you

i know they are just being nice but cmon. i dont feel comfortable answering that truthfully! when someone asks me that im meant to lie and say yeah im good thanks. but i obviously aint if im here to see a doctor! it feels wrong to hit out with oh im miserable and depressed, thanks! or not too great, i’ve been shitting my lungs out!

all they need to do is ask how they can help. and they dont need to wish me a good day on the way out either cause im just going home to suffer again.
 
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Lunarorbit

Member
I went to a dermatologist last summer to have some skin tags removed after I had gained some weight.

It was such a weird experience. The kicker was her not wearing gloves, not applying any kind of antiseptic before cutting into me, and her comments.

Something along the lines of, "The human mind has evolved to not self mutilate" as this huge psychological bomb of wisdom she was dropping on me.

No I thought you'd be professional. I'll cut my own skin tags off thank you if that's the weirdness I can expect. Oh and they also didn't take any kind of cards for payment. It's impossible to find a dermatologist where I live but with quacks like this maybe I'm better off
 

Dural

Member
From my experience ER doctors suck. About two weeks after my daughter was born my wife was screaming from the bathroom because a ridiculous amount of blood came out in the toilet. She was freaking out, I called 911 and she was taken to the ER. The ER doctor couldn't find anything wrong and told her that because she just had a baby and hadn't had a period in a long time all the blood just came at once. SMFH, it's like the guy knew nothing of female biology and how a menstrual cycle worked. It ended up being placenta that was left in the uterus that her OB didn't take the time to make sure it was all out when the baby was born. Her uterus was clamping down on the pieces of placenta causing her to bleed.
 

Quasicat

Member
I hear this from my doctor and the attendant at the DMV: “Are you dependent on drugs or alcohol?” How often do people answer this question honestly?
 

BadBurger

Is 'That Pure Potato'
After explaining exhaustively why my low iron and other factors made me such a slender teen, the doctor concluded "Well you're a pillar of health". At the time I was 6' 1" and weighed about 150 pounds. So you know, almost vanishing.
 

poodaddy

Member
Had a dumb shit doctor tell me I was running too much as my pulse was really low, then he proceeded to tell me I was obviously over doing it with cardio, somehow, after I showed him that my foot was in a caste as I broke it in half during some silly training during my time in the Army. Spoilers: I did no cardio focused training whatsoever for the entire three years I was recovering from that, just lifted weights a lot.

Had another doctor tell me my back problems were from "back weakness and lack of mid back musculature". I was deadlifting around 450 at the time and could t bar row roughly 300 for reps. Got a second opinion and he said, "don't ever see her again."

Had another doc tell me that every time I popped my knuckles or popped my neck that I was doing permanent damage to my body by scraping bones together. She didn't know they're just air bubbles popping inside your body....a medical doctor didn't know that.

Suffice to say, I don't trust docs much, ESPECIALLY military or VA docs.
 
doc told me to stop eating fruit.... he was kinda trying to push some diet on me, I think keto maybe? I'm skinny af already so it wasn't to lose weight. idk but doesn't sound right
 

Mistake

Member
I asked my physician if I should start doing blood work as part of my routine physical. Somehow this led him to go off on tangents about suicide rates, HIV, drug abuse, and car accidents

I’m finding a new doctor
 

Ionian

Member
Had a Doc in Spain tell me I looked like a pirata, I thought he called me a potato, which is patatas. Had an eye patch on. Some gangster had assaulted me. He laughed and didn't charge me, awesome doc.

Also had another Doc tell me to stop cycling, had a growth on my groin. Only man to ever see my crotch. It went away but a bleeding crotch is scary, have scars from it. Scary shit, kept bursting. Some node or something was getting infected by sweat. Think it died. Stopped anyway.

My crotch was never the same again, haha. I still cycle.
 

DGrayson

Mod Team and Bat Team
Staff Member
I was doing my regular checkup at my dermatologist, checking my moles and whatnot. My mom died of skin cancer so I am kind of nervous about that.

Anyways I was telling the guy, oh as you can see I am also balding/thinning hair so I am also nervous about too much sun on my head. And he said in a pretty bored tone, "wear a hat."

The advice was good but it still pissed me off lol.
 

lachesis

Member
When my ex-wife was pregnant years ago with our only child - we went to see the OBGYN doctor.

That doctor, whom I've never met before, looked at me and asked "Have we met before?"
 
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