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What's the stupidest thing a doctor has ever said to you during a check up?

farmerboy

Member
"Have you ever heard of the BMI, Body Mass Index?"



Yes, I got offended.

"But doc, I don't look that bad compared to other people"

"The mistake you're making, is that you're comparing yourself to people who are really bad. You're bad, they're really bad."



Anyway, docs right. Gotta lose a few kilos.
 

Artoris

Gold Member
Had a Doc in Spain tell me I looked like a pirata, I thought he called me a potato, which is patatas. Had an eye patch on. Some gangster had assaulted me. He laughed and didn't charge me, awesome doc.

Also had another Doc tell me to stop cycling, had a growth on my groin. Only man to ever see my crotch. It went away but a bleeding crotch is scary, have scars from it. Scary shit, kept bursting. Some node or something was getting infected by sweat. Think it died. Stopped anyway.

My crotch was never the same again, haha. I still cycle.
LndwQGF.png
 

p_xavier

Authorized Fister
Can confirm.

Also, I once had a Dutch therapist telling me to eat chocolate or go on a shopping spree to deal with clinical depression.
In England they say the same about chocolate, but enjoy the BBC. I even had a double dose but didn't do much on my morale.
 

Nydius

Member
I have both general anxiety disorder and panic disorder. When my original therapist retired, he gave me a list of referrals to others. The first one I went to had only done a cursory glance at my prior records that had been transferred over and, after listening to why I was there like I was a completely new diagnosis, she looked square in my eyes and said, without a hint of irony:

"Have you considered focusing on not thinking about things so much?"

It took everything I had not to be a smartass and respond with: "Holy shit why didn't I think of that before? Thanks doc, I'm cured!".
Needless to say, I didn't go back to that psychiatrist.
 
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p_xavier

Authorized Fister
I have both general anxiety disorder and panic disorder. When my original therapist retired, he gave me a list of referrals to others. The first one I went to had only done a cursory glance at my prior records that had been transferred over and, after listening to why I was there like I was a completely new diagnosis, she looked square in my eyes and said, without a hint of irony: "Have you considered focusing on not thinking about things so much?"

It took everything I had not to be a smartass and respond with: "Holy shit why didn't I think of that before? Thanks doc, I'm cured!".
Needless to say, I didn't go back to that psychiatrist.
Can we meet? I find doctors to be such stupid people that I can't deal with them anymore.
 

ButchCat

Member
"How many wives do you have?" Instead of asking if I had been sexually active lately even though he was staring at my file which said I was single, I told him you have a strange sense of humor. This was in London.
 
When I was in Highschool I woke up one night with an odd pain in my abdomen. It lasted for quite a bit so I thought it was possibly appendicitis. I had my mom take me to the ER. It took forever to see anybody, and when I did it was some guy who looked like he could’ve been a doctor, but he was in regular clothes. Maybe he was just getting there or leaving late and therefore didn’t have a lab coat on.

Anyways dude starts feeling my stomach, and my stomach muscles initially recoil by how weird it feels having someone else touch them. The guy makes a weird face and feels again. He then says he didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary so he doesn’t think it’s appendicitis. Then he asks me “do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend” I say “no,” and then he says “okay you should be fine.” Then he leaves and doesn’t elaborate further or order an X-ray or anything.

I really don’t understand why he asked if I had a girlfriend/boyfriend. Like did he think it was weird I was uncomfortable that someone else was touching me? Or was he not even a doctor and some dude who just felt up a 16 year old kid? Fucked if I know, but I lost like $500 on a visit that did fuck all.

Another more recent case was early last year when I got the vaccine. I was looking into some stuff about it and saw something about possible adverse effects if you got the vaccine while already having Covid anti-bodies. So just to be extra safe I decided to get an anti-body detection test done in case I had gotten Covid before but was asymptomatic.

I’m getting the test done and the nurse says something of about how she didn’t see why people were getting this particular test done, as it was still a new procedure and was untested on a larger scale. I’m not in the medical field of course, but that seemed really ironic considering the vaccine itself at the time was still experimental and being distributed via emergency order, while she was talking about a simple anti-body detection test. Seemed really naive of her to say.
 
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