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[SymbolicGamer]

I can't tell with you as of late lol. I feel like if Microsoft announced the Xbox One would shoot water in gamers faces every time a player died, you'd find someway to talk about how it was revolutionary and awesome.

That's just silly. Xbox One is a sophisticated, high-end entertainment device. Microsoft would never cheapen the experience by having it spray water at you like some child's toy.

No, it should be ejaculating Game Fuel.

 

[BleachAndPepsi]

Do you say it didn't come from MS? Or what are you trying to say? Marc Whitten said it and he works for Microsoft.

Okay you're obviously trolling. You got me.

Or I sure as hell hope so anyway.

 

[statham]

That's just silly. Xbox One is a sophisticated, high-end entertainment device. Microsoft would never cheapen the experience by having it spray water at you like some child's toy.

No, it should be ejaculating Game Fuel.

Thank You.

 

[malfcn]

You know what would be cool?

Custom plates.

I liked mine..Carbon, Blue and Wood..*shame*

 

[BRocknRolla]

That's just silly. Xbox One is a sophisticated, high-end entertainment device. Microsoft would never cheapen the experience by having it spray water at you like some child's toy.

No, it should be ejaculating Game Fuel.

Would buy.

 

[Lime]

The holes make the car go faster.

Best post

 

[Capital_Five]

A lot of people are going to think this is real.

 

[GDGF]

You know what else makes it fast?

Spoiler warning

Brilliant.

 

[Sub_Level]

I think he was talking about getting shot with water.

Even then: "Oh boy! I can't wait to fire up Call of Duty, then replace the carpeting again!"

No dude I was actually talking about live ammunition.

It would be the ultimate Roguelike because when you die in the game you actually die. They could make it like a 50 killstreak in CoD. When you would see someone on the leaderboard getting up to that point everyone would focus their efforts on killing him/her to prevent their timely demise.

 

[Bsigg12]

Shelby Cobra Edition now with meaner exhaust tips.

 

[Coxy]

They were going to add hot rod flames but people thought it might contribute to RROD

 

[Visualante2]

The holes make the car go faster.

Can you add some to the Xboat?

 

[BigJonsson]

I see someone posted speed holes, I am not needed here

 

[BigJonsson]

I can't tell with you as of late lol. I feel like if Microsoft announced the Xbox One would shoot water in gamers faces every time a player died, you'd find someway to talk about how it was revolutionary and awesome.

You need to play this game

It shoots air and fog at you...........it's REALLY good

 

[HomerSimpson-Man]

The holes make the car go faster.

Wonderful, simply wonderful.

 

[Dennis]

20" rims

 

[PFD]

People are jumping on this guy for not realizing it's a joke but maybe he did realize and is doing some serious second tier advanced meta trolling.

 

[fred]

You know what else makes it fast?

Spoiler warning

Awesome lololol

 

[BigJonsson]

Would speed holes have prevented RROD on the 360?

 

[Dennis]

The stripes should be blue.

 

[Dion Blaster]

Wow. MS really? This is pathetic.

This is actually more pathetic.


And if it's a meta troll it wasn't actually funny.

 

[Colonel]

This has got to be bull crap? right. right.

 

[fred]

Satire articles must be marked as so - or ban. Just a warning.

It doesn't need to be marked, anyone that doesn't realise that this is a joke before even clicking the link probably shouldn't be surfing the net without a responsible adult. If the poster gets banned for this then that would be a sorry state of affairs imo.

I've always found it odd that people can troll as much as they want (just take a look at any Wii U thread) but get banned for something like this or port begging. It's bizarre lol

 

[TheRedSnifit]

This is what happens when Beyond 3D, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Sony Hatred, and Russia fuck. They would birth this beautiful piece of shit:

http://misterxmedia.livejournal.com/



If GAF wants real comedy, just click the link above.

The Paradox But it is Not

 

[Dark Octave]

"Go faster stripes"?

Racing stripes, bro.

 

[Mark1]

Spoiler

Gotta

go faster...?

 

[CSX]

a tuner scene for the console would be sick.

 

[Xbudz]

Instead of stylized faceplates- they could have introduced customizable ventplates.

 

[Zomba13]

I really think satire articles should be marked as such in the topic. Way too many people don't figure it out or look at the site it comes from.

 

[Templar_Dante]

I heard MS is dropping the suspension, slapping 22inch rims on the thing. Throwing candy paint on it, tinting its windows, adding a killer sound system and telling everybody the upgrades are going to make it faster..

 

[timetokill]

I really think satire articles should be marked as such in the topic. Way too many people don't figure it out or look at the site it comes from.

I dunno man, I think there's a difference between satire articles where something could conceivably be true and therefore should be tagged, and articles like this one where just reading the quoted bit would be enough for any sane person to realize it's satire.

 

[Phat Michael]

I dunno man, I think there's a difference between satire articles where something could conceivably be true and therefore should be tagged, and articles like this one where just reading the quoted bit would be enough for any sane person to realize it's satire.

I believe these particular posters go hunting for threads about the Xbox One in order to shit them up - this just seemed to be a convenient target. They dont really take the time to read the article in question.

The first two posts were made within one minute of the topic being posted, i doubt these people had time to read the information then come up with a logical and articulate post. Instead, the title is click-bait, they didnt really think, then post the same shit which has been in every single anti MS thread since the may 29 reveal. Its a shame really, because its happening every single day.

 

[VE3TRO]

Awesome I'll take 3!

I wonder if it will be faster at over heating.

 

[Khalifa Jayy]

I lol'd. Thanks for sharing haha.

 

[davepoobond]

Hugs are what we need.

 

[nib95]

OMG I've found a pic of it!

 

[fred]

Strictly speaking those pics don't show go-faster stripes. Go-faster stripes are a broken horizontal arrow on the side of cars that gained popularity in the 80s.

 

[TheRealTalker]

-Digital Foundry seems to be doing a comparision of this as we speak....

Spoiler

Xbox one speed stripe performance

PS4 speed stripe performance

**Update (it seems that DF has gotten a source which has told them of a ps4 stripe downgrade)
Current PS4 speed stripe performance

its is quite unfortunate...

 

[Pinko Marx]

Now put flames on the side.

 

[Artorias]

So is that site like The Onion except the writers aren't funny?

 

[Kerub]

Fucking LOL, MS really are playing catchup with Cerny.

 

[Bsigg12]

OMG I've found a pic of it!

Get rid of the spoiler and I'm game.

Also, can I get an optional V12 start up sound when I turn the console on and turbo hiss when I eject a game?

 

[weekend_warrior]

Wait until you hear the V-tech kick in!

 

[hateradio]

Get rid of the spoiler and I'm game.

But it adds a 20% boost.

 

[blitzcloud]

Overclock achieved!

 

[Xbudz]

What Xbox One lacks in speed, it makes up for with it's levitation technology:

 

[TheRealTalker]

Get rid of the spoiler and I'm game.

Also, can I get an optional V12 start up sound when I turn the console on and turbo hiss when I eject a game?

and what give up on it's aerodynamics

 

[KalBalboa]

-Digital Foundry seems to be doing a comparision of this as we speak....

Spoiler

Xbox one speed stripe performance

PS4 speed stripe performance

**Update (it seems that DF has gotten a source which has told them of a ps4 stripe downgrade)
Current PS4 speed stripe performance

its is quite unfortunate...

Finally. We can put StripeGate to rest.

 

[Salsa]

i'll buy the console paul walker gets

 

[Bsigg12]

and what give up on it's aerodynamics

As long as its one of the spoilers that raise up as you go faster rather than always there, then I can deal with it. I'm just not a fan of the way spoilers look.