RoyaleDuke
Banned
I posted earlier this year or late last year that I had a stomach cancer scare, which turned out to be nothing.
Well, for the last four-8 months I've pretty much barely been able to eat anything, vomiting pretty much incessantly.
Long story short, I got Eiffel towered by technology today(endoscopy and colonoscopy) and they found that my esophagus was partially eroded, and I had a huge ginormous fucking polyp in my colon which looked horrible and basically cancerous.
Waiting on the biopsy, but the doctor basically said I would have to go through chemo and I basically have cancer. They are shocked because the way my bowels looked is pretty much what they would expect for someone 50-70 years of age instead of 26.
This isn't a surprise really, my RA doctor last year said my SRA was getting worse that I only had 5 years left(now 4 since I am 26) to live.
You know I'm not mad at my genes, or my family.
But boy am I pissed with God or whatever being decided to give me consciousness and make my life so goddamn shitty, and my parents lives.
Life is cruel, it is barely a reward and in my experience it feels more like a curse.
Some part of me can't wait to die, just so it is all over.
I've been so miserable and unhappy most of my fucked up life, I think I am ready to take a long permanent nap.
So I just want to say if I don't make it, try to remember me GAF because I doubt anyone else will or will even care. I'm gonna try and get my science fiction novel done and hopefully published.
My only request is that if you see my book, please buy it. Not for me, but for my family, odds are I won't be around to see the success or failure of my book.
Lastly, I want to thank Evilore and the Neogaf community. It's been wonderful.
Well, for the last four-8 months I've pretty much barely been able to eat anything, vomiting pretty much incessantly.
Long story short, I got Eiffel towered by technology today(endoscopy and colonoscopy) and they found that my esophagus was partially eroded, and I had a huge ginormous fucking polyp in my colon which looked horrible and basically cancerous.
Waiting on the biopsy, but the doctor basically said I would have to go through chemo and I basically have cancer. They are shocked because the way my bowels looked is pretty much what they would expect for someone 50-70 years of age instead of 26.
This isn't a surprise really, my RA doctor last year said my SRA was getting worse that I only had 5 years left(now 4 since I am 26) to live.
You know I'm not mad at my genes, or my family.
But boy am I pissed with God or whatever being decided to give me consciousness and make my life so goddamn shitty, and my parents lives.
Life is cruel, it is barely a reward and in my experience it feels more like a curse.
Some part of me can't wait to die, just so it is all over.
I've been so miserable and unhappy most of my fucked up life, I think I am ready to take a long permanent nap.
So I just want to say if I don't make it, try to remember me GAF because I doubt anyone else will or will even care. I'm gonna try and get my science fiction novel done and hopefully published.
My only request is that if you see my book, please buy it. Not for me, but for my family, odds are I won't be around to see the success or failure of my book.
Lastly, I want to thank Evilore and the Neogaf community. It's been wonderful.
