Deified Data
Banned
Livejournal entry incoming.
Bit of background. My wife and I don't really have many overlapping circles of friends...namely, I barely have any and she has quite a few. One of those friends is a dude she met through a female friend. Used to be she'd hang out with that group but recently she's just hanging out with that guy and hasn't seen the other members of the group in weeks. They'll meet up for drinks once a week, usually on Mondays. My wife says the guy's little brother usually accompanies them. Often she'll stay out til 1AM drinking at the guy's house.She's not incommunicado at this time - we exchange texts and she tells me what they're doing, usually playing games and drinking.
Needless to say this situation isn't exactly typical. Right? Re: the recent "Can men and women be friends?" thread, I'm of the belief that they can, so long as they respect each other's boundaries. My rational self tells me there's nothing wrong with this, and that I'm being petty and insecure when I question it. I've never accused my wife of cheating on me, never even suggested it to her, but I have mentioned that her friendship with this guy makes me feel a little insecure. I trust her implicitly, and treat my own suspicion and insecurity as a personal obstacle to overcome. It's not always easy. Sometimes it's pretty damn hard, but I'm doing it.
Anyway, fast forward to today. We're staying at her parents' house. She had to run to work for an hour or so to do inventory, and before doing so she pulled up her Facebook account (which was logged on, with messages to this aforementioned male friend visible...nothing incriminating of course, just friendly exchanges). She logs out of her Facebook account and tells me if I want to check mine on her personal computer here that I'm welcome to do so. I feel like she hesitates for a second after logging off and seems indecisive over whether she wants to erase her password from the text entry or not. Ultimately she doesn't and leaves.
So here I am. First thing, I would never, ever in a million years sift through my wife's messages looking for proof that she's cheating on me - that's not me. But no matter how I try to spin it, I can't help but feel like she logged off of her account so that I didn't accidentally stumble across something I wasn't supposed to see, and the only reason she didn't erase her password was because of how suspicious it'd look. I mean, if she wanted me to be able to check my Facebook I could have logged off myself, right? I must repeat, I don't think she's cheating on me. Perhaps there was something there that could be easily misconstrued? Perhaps they flirt a little like some opposite sex friends do when no one's looking?
I don't know. And I'm trying my damndest not to care, but that's really hard right now. So back to my original question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how irrational am I being right now? Am I letting my own insecurity get to me or is there legitimate reason for concern here? If the former, how do I just let go and forget about it? If the latter, do I bring it up with her, try to talk about it? What if it's nothing, and all it accomplishes is making her feel like I don't trust her?
Anyway...she gets off work in a bit and we're going to spend the day together, so if I don't respond it's not that I abandoned the thread. I'm just seeking some wisdom here.
Bit of background. My wife and I don't really have many overlapping circles of friends...namely, I barely have any and she has quite a few. One of those friends is a dude she met through a female friend. Used to be she'd hang out with that group but recently she's just hanging out with that guy and hasn't seen the other members of the group in weeks. They'll meet up for drinks once a week, usually on Mondays. My wife says the guy's little brother usually accompanies them. Often she'll stay out til 1AM drinking at the guy's house.She's not incommunicado at this time - we exchange texts and she tells me what they're doing, usually playing games and drinking.
Needless to say this situation isn't exactly typical. Right? Re: the recent "Can men and women be friends?" thread, I'm of the belief that they can, so long as they respect each other's boundaries. My rational self tells me there's nothing wrong with this, and that I'm being petty and insecure when I question it. I've never accused my wife of cheating on me, never even suggested it to her, but I have mentioned that her friendship with this guy makes me feel a little insecure. I trust her implicitly, and treat my own suspicion and insecurity as a personal obstacle to overcome. It's not always easy. Sometimes it's pretty damn hard, but I'm doing it.
Anyway, fast forward to today. We're staying at her parents' house. She had to run to work for an hour or so to do inventory, and before doing so she pulled up her Facebook account (which was logged on, with messages to this aforementioned male friend visible...nothing incriminating of course, just friendly exchanges). She logs out of her Facebook account and tells me if I want to check mine on her personal computer here that I'm welcome to do so. I feel like she hesitates for a second after logging off and seems indecisive over whether she wants to erase her password from the text entry or not. Ultimately she doesn't and leaves.
So here I am. First thing, I would never, ever in a million years sift through my wife's messages looking for proof that she's cheating on me - that's not me. But no matter how I try to spin it, I can't help but feel like she logged off of her account so that I didn't accidentally stumble across something I wasn't supposed to see, and the only reason she didn't erase her password was because of how suspicious it'd look. I mean, if she wanted me to be able to check my Facebook I could have logged off myself, right? I must repeat, I don't think she's cheating on me. Perhaps there was something there that could be easily misconstrued? Perhaps they flirt a little like some opposite sex friends do when no one's looking?
I don't know. And I'm trying my damndest not to care, but that's really hard right now. So back to my original question. On a scale of 1 to 10, how irrational am I being right now? Am I letting my own insecurity get to me or is there legitimate reason for concern here? If the former, how do I just let go and forget about it? If the latter, do I bring it up with her, try to talk about it? What if it's nothing, and all it accomplishes is making her feel like I don't trust her?
Anyway...she gets off work in a bit and we're going to spend the day together, so if I don't respond it's not that I abandoned the thread. I'm just seeking some wisdom here.
