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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #158 - "Happy Birthday"

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M

Mike M

Nick N
Theme - "Happy Birthday"

Word Limit: 2500

Today's my birthday, let's have some fun!

Submission Deadline: Friday, January 23rd by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Saturday, January 24th and goes until Monday, January 26th at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Grace Periods: Each of the above deadlines will be followed by a 6-hour grace period. Submissions made after the end of the grace period will be ineligible, and votes cast after the end of the grace period will not be counted. Remember that these are grace periods, not extensions of the deadline--you should still submit your work or cast your vote by the deadline set above.

Optional Secondary Objective: Legendary Legends of Batman (of Legend)

In keeping with my tradition of having the worst secondary objectives...

Before I started writing "for real" a couple years ago, I wrote a series of piss take fan fiction stories for a random message board that I eventually collated into a single volume and called The Legendary Legends of Batman (of Legend.)

They are terrible, I disavow them completely, but I did have a lot of fun writing them. Plus it's my birthday, so why the hell not. So let's do something in the vein of those! Write a story about Batman!

I cannot overemphasize how optional the optional secondary objective is this week. I may not even do it myself, who knows?


Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes
 
N

Nezumi

Member
giphy.gif


That secondary... not sure what you want us to do. Read the stories? Write Batman fan fiction? Write fan fiction in general?
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
Let's say write a story about Batman! Or you can substitute the fictional character of your choice.

I want to again emphasize the optionalness of this, because otherwise we're going to have a very homogenized week of stories about the time Batman attended our birthday parties as a kid.

I do this to myself.
 
N

Nezumi

Member
Gotcha. I wouldn't even know enough about Batman to write a story. But I always thought it might be fun to try my hand on fan fiction so I guess this is the time.
 
N

Nezumi

Member
Hmm. Apparently my birthday this year is also the day Marty McFly is supposed to arrive in the future. Hmm...
 
G

GorillaWithDandruff

Member
Happy super freaking belated birthday Mike!! And holy shit I might be the only one but I am so down for that secondary. Here's hoping I don't pull it out of my ass last minute again!! *fingers crossed*
 
N

Nezumi

Member
Yeah, after three brainstorming sessions I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to do the secondary. I just done feel like writing any of the fan fiction related ideas I have come up with so far.
 
F

FlowersisBritish

fleurs n'est pas britannique
Nezumi said:
Yeah, after three brainstorming sessions I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to do the secondary. I just done feel like writing any of the fan fiction related ideas I have come up with so far.
Click to expand...

I have two possible stories. One is pretty funny and does the secondary, the other one is better but less funny and doesn't do the secondary. What a terrible choice before me.
 
N

Nezumi

Member
Not sure if I'm gonna make it today. I'm staying at a friend's and the computer is in her bedroom. If she has not gone to sleep by the time the hangout starts I'll drop by.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Hangout is up (quote to see link):

As always, it'll be ten minutes of chatter, thirty minutes of writing, rinse and repeat.
 
T

ThLunarian

Member
Title: Happy Birthday, Mike!

Dreadstone found himself inexplicably sitting at a circular wooden table, in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

"What in the nine hells..." he grumbled to himself, nonplussed.

"Sir," a female voice chirped in from beside him, "It seems we've been taken away from the battle."

"I can see that," he said, his voice lowered. "And from the looks of it, we ain't the only ones been brought here against our will."

Dreadstone's Sense Motive (1d20+10=23)

There were several other figures seated around the table, all of them appearing as confused as he felt. Gnaw, his trusty, half-feral animal companion, was in a chair next to him, but the rest were unfamiliar. A fancy-looking human man, looked to be about 30; a damn fool wearing a rubber helmet and a cape; a man made of metal.

They were all wearing festive, coned cardboard hats on their heads. Including Gnaw.

He felt atop his own horned head, and sure enough...

He slammed his gauntleted hand on the table. "One of you knows what's goin' on here," he growled, "And you'd best be spittin' it out right quick, 'fore I get angry."

Dreadstone's Intimidate (1d20+25=43)

"Analysis complete," the metal man said, with a metal voice. "My readings indicate that the atmosphere in this world is identical to that from which we originated. Latent magical energies, however, are nonexistent. Fascinating."

The human male steepled his hands and leaned back in his chair. "Absolutely. Fascinating indeed," he deadpanned. His eyes surveyed the table, finally meeting Dreadstone's with a gaze of steel. "Tell me, my charcoal-skinned friend, why should we believe that this isn't all some sort of plot that you've orchestrated to bring us here? I am an upstanding member of the community; the last thing I remember is finishing my shift, volunteering at the Ruby Keep Public Library."

Val's Bluff Check (1d20+35=49)

Dreadstone frowned. The story, as implausible as it sounded, had a ring of truth to it that he couldn't deny. He looked at the fool in the rubber helmet. "And what's your story? Who're you?"

"I am Batman," said the man.

Gnaw growled. Dreadstone tried to pet his head to calm him down, but he was met with that ridiculous cardboard hat. "Batman? You pullin' my leg, Son?"

"His heart rate, breathing patterns, and heat signatures indicate that he is telling the truth," said the metal man. "It is logical to conclude that his name is Batman."

"And just who the hells are you?"

"My designation is Jack. Jack Slate. I do not know how I arrived here. My most recent memory was an explosion that caused irreparable damage to my neural net."

Dreadstone caught a glance of something in the eyes of the librarian - a faint glimmer of recognition, maybe? "You two know each other, don't ya?"

"Of course they do," said a new voice. Everyone looked in its direction. A human man, similar to the librarian's age but dressed completely differently, was approaching the table. His hair was black; he wore coarse blue pants and a gray shirt made of an overly thin material. "They were partners, after all."

"I protest, Sir!" said the librarian, indignantly. "I have never seen any of these people in my life! Why--"

"Relax, Val," said the newcomer. "You can't fool me. I'm the one writing this story. My name's ThLunarian. You're all here in this restaurant because of me. I'm borrowing you for a little while."

"Borrowing us?" Chloe said uneasily. "What does that mean?"

"Well," said ThLunarian, "It's your creator's birthday. You don't know who he is, of course, but his name is Mike. All of you-- well, most of you, anyway -- were born from an idea that came out of his head, and I thought I'd bring you all together to help him celebrate."

"Our creator?" said Val. "So like a god, then? I've never heard of a god with such a mundane name as 'Mike'."

"Even more powerful than a god," said ThLunarian. "In fact, he makes gods."

There was a moment of silence at the table as everyone contemplated that. Finally, Val spoke up again, but not before steepling his hands a second time. "You said 'most' of us were the creations of this 'Mike' character. Who among us was not?"

ThLunarian pointed to Batman. "Him."

"Then what's he doing here?"

ThLunarian shrugged. "Beats me. Mike requested that he be here, and it's his birthday, so who am I to argue?"

"Looks like a damned fool," said Dreadstone.

"You think so?" said ThLunarian. "Because you were originally going to be based on him, you know."

Dreadstone shot ThLunarian a glare that could wither an entire garden of roses.

"So," said Val, steepling his hands yet again, "You've brought us here to celebrate the birthday of our supposed creator. That's all well and good, but where exactly is 'here'?"

ThLunarian smiled. "This is the restaurant where I met up with him when I visited Seattle. It has a really nice view of the lake if you look out the window. It's called Eastlake Bar and Grill."

Dreadstone did have to admit that the view was nice. The water was sparkling in the sunlight.

"So wait a moment," said Chloe, who was apparently flustered enough to drop her persona as a green, overeager soldier. "If we're all here because of you, and you 'borrowed' us, and Mike 'created' us, doesn't that mean we don't have any control over what we say? In fact, aren't you putting these words into my mouth as I'm saying them RIGHT NOW?"

"Mind your own business," said ThLunarian


"Well, then," Val said, his voice dripping with sarcasm (and not steepling his hands this time), "If we're to celebrate a birthday, I suppose that means we need a cake, doesn't it? Why don't I just run to the local bakery and order something spectacular? Not like I have anything better to do with my day. I'm only singlehandedly responsible for rebuilding the most esteemed organization of thieves in the history of the world, but who cares about that! Somebody was born on this day an unknown number of years ago!"

"Wait just a damned minute," Dreadstone said incredulously, "What do you mean thieves? And you said you're from Ruby Keep?"

"No, we won't be doing a cake," said ThLunarian, ignoring the tiefling. "I have something much better."

As if by magic, an enormous plate of nachos appeared on the table. Next to it was a heaping dipping cup full of guacamole. There were lit candles sticking out of the cheese.

"This ain't kosher," said Dreadstone.

"Grrrr...." said Gnaw.

"I'm having an existential crisis," said Chloe.

"Fascinating," said Jack.

"I am Batman," said Batman.

Val glanced uncertainly at Dreadstone. "Well," he said nervously, "Who am I to stand in the way of my creator's birthday celebration? Where is our esteemed creator? I should like to thank him myself for my... uh... well, my existence!"

"Oh he's watching," said ThLunarian. "You just can't see him. But he'll see whatever you do and hear whatever you say. Creepy, isn't it?"

Chloe looked like she was going to be sick.

"So," said ThLunarian, "Why don't we all sing him a song?"

"A song?" said Dreadstone. "You've got to be kiddin' me. I got a kingdom to save..."

"A song?" said Val. "What a marvelous idea! Why don't I get us started? Happy Birthday to You..."

Chloe's Will Save (1d20+12=15)

"Happy Birthday to you," Chloe continued, horrified that her lips seemed to be moving against her will.

Jack's Will save (1d20 + 10=21)

"Happy birthday dear Mike," said Jack, entirely tone-deaf and without melody.

Gnaw's Will Save (1d20+5=23)

"Happy Birthday to You!" said Gnaw, somehow.

"I am Batman," said Batman.

Dreadstone grimaced, facepalming and shaking his head. "Well," he said, "Least I didn't have to..."

Dreadstone's Will Save (1d20+10=17)

Suddenly Dreadstone leaped from his chair and landed on top of the table. He got on his knees and looked toward the sky, pouring all of his heart and emotion into the following melodic words:

"And many moooooooore!"


(end)
 
C

Chainsawkitten

Member
oWKDwiF.gif

Batman's birthday began badly. The Batcave was buried beneath the ground, basically a bunker. The birthday guests couldn't besiege it because of the base's barricades; burglarproof but bad for banquets. Bold, brave birthday guests blown to bits by bombs, bystanders bathed in blood and bits of badly burned buttocks. ``Bad, bad birthday!'', bemoaned Batman, before biting into the birthday buffet. Bite for bite, Batman bawled bitterly, before the badly built Batcave's bearings broke, beheading Batman.
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
Cyan said:
Yes. Yes it is.
Click to expand...

Well fuck!

Science Unfair

Let me tell you about the time I flunked the science fair.

This is counter-intuitive, I know, as my understanding is that most science fairs are voluntary affairs and are judged for prizes, not scored for grades in science class. But no, my 8th grade general science class made entry into the science fair mandatory, and we were all to be graded. Five years later, when my perpetually overachieving younger brother came through the same class, he just did the same experiment that he submitted for his 6th grade science fair where he measured the amount of mold that grew on different loaves of bread made with different sweeteners. I seem to recall he went all the way to state finals with that or something, but I don’t quite remember. I was an extremely inattentive older brother, apparently.

Me, on the other hand, I had never done a science fair project before, and I was determined to do something truly amazing. After all, I was reasonably certain that I was going to grow up to be a scientist. You know those aptitude tests they administer in high school to give students an idea of what kind of career they want to shoot for when they get into college? I purposely answered everything that would skew the answers towards scientist. My father is a scientist. My grandfather was an engineer. My grandfather’s twin brother was a test pilot, which I guess is kinda science-y if you want to really stretch it. My great-grandfather, I’m sure he did some technical shit or something. But my dad is a chemist, that’s the important take away here. Inattentive, remember?

Side note: I eventually succeeded in my dreams of becoming a scientist, and I sort of hate it. Looking back, this incident foreshadowed my impending ineptitude in the scientific fields, but I learned far too late that liking science factoids and being a scientists are two beasts of vastly different natures.

Anyway, in my quest to discover the Totally Awesome Science Fair Experiment That Would Totally Win Me The Prize (it would have to be pretty fucking awesome to win a prize since there was none), I raided some of my dad’s old science books and found one nominally about science experiments for children. Judging by the contents of this book, kids in the 50’s were into some pretty hardcore shit for science experiments. While we all grew up with dehydrated brine shrimp eggs and sugar crystals and stuff, this book was full of some high concept stuff, like building your own fucking Geiger counter or something. I leafed through it, and eventually found an experiment that I thought might be possible without already having achieved a post-doctorate degree at the age of 14. I was going to build an atomic particle detector.

No seriously, this was an actual experiment listed in the book. You took a coffee can (which I painted black for reasons I can’t recall. Maybe because I was 14 and thought everything was cooler when it’s painting black), and you cut some viewing holes in it which you cover with cellophane or the equivalent. Then you take this ghetto particle-viewing chamber and put it on top of a block of dry ice. The sublimating carbon dioxide fills the bottom part of the coffee can with vapor, and theoretically you’re supposed to be able to view the wake of particles as they zip through the gas.

Yeeeeeeeah, it didn’t exactly work. My knowledge of physics isn’t that robust, but I’m not entirely clear on how this was ever supposed to work. Seems to me if you’ve got particles energetic to penetrate a coffee can and leave a wake visible to the naked eye in some cold CO2, then you probably need to be wearing a lead vest. But what do I know, my degree is in zoology (because fuck plants). Regardless, this was my science fair project. So I wrote up a little experimental protocol, outlined my equipment and methodology, took some pictures of me holding it up to some random shit trying to detect particles, made notes of my observed results, and called it a day.

When the day of the science fair arrived, I was waiting for the bus with all my experimental equipment and write up in a cardboard box. The bus came a little bit early that day, and I couldn’t help but notice that it was quite a bit smaller than usual. Much sleeker, too. Plus it had a turbine engine, and was painted matte black. Wait just a damned second, that’s no school bus, that’s the BATMOBILE! And sure enough, the canopy slid open and the caped crusader himself vaulted out of the driver’s seat right in front of us.

“Please tell me that’s a particle detection chamber you have in that box,” he said to me.

“Well yes, but—“

“Look, you gotta let me borrow that for a while. I have this thing going down with some irradiated bills, and my own particle detector picked the worst possible time to break down on me.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t—“

“I know, I know, they don’t come cheap. Well, maybe yours did, it looks homespun. Here kid, here’s twenty bucks, buy yourself something nice.” Before I could even blink, the box was no longer in my hand, replaced as though by ninja magic with a fresh twenty spot.

“But Batman,” I pleaded, as he leaped back into the car, “the thing doesn’t even work!” But it was to no avail, he couldn’t hear me over the roar of the jet engine as the Batmobile streaked down our residential street well in excess of 180 miles an hour. Only then did I realize that he’d not only taken my particle observation chamber, but my entire project as well. I tried to replace it at the last minute as best I was able, but regrettably my crudely drawn illustration of where rain comes from on a piece of binder paper was deemed inadequate for a passing grade. Later that night, there was a news story about the failure of some scheme to track funds being laundered by the mafia, being attributed to a fault particle detector.

Also, apparently the $20 Batman gave me turned out to be one of the highly irradiated marked bills, and I got lymphoma.

LEGENDS OF BATMAN!!!
 
nicoga3000

nicoga3000

Saint Nic
I'm posting here so I don't forget.

My "New Year's Resolution" this year is to write a book. Given that I have very little experience creative writing, these challenges are a perfect excuse to get stuff written and have people read it.

I'm nearly done with my story, and it's pretty terrible. It's basically an excuse for me to practice writing simple character interaction (something that I find difficult to portray). But my hope is that I can use these challenges to work on my writing and learn how to improve. You don't get better without doing it, right?

I should be done with it tomorrow. I'll run through it once to make sure there's no glaring grammatical issues, but I don't intend to fix any nonsensical text. :)
 
T

Tangent

Member
Mike, I thought of you on Monday because I had a report to write for work before Tuesday at 7:15 am. I imagine it would have taken 3 hours if I worked efficiently with maybe a few minutes of spacing out. Instead, I was totally not in the mood to write -- I had the day off -- and even wiped dust off my desk because it was "something I needed to do." I think it took me 7 hours (I had the internet readily available). That might be a conservative estimate. I have a problem. I bet you NNNEEEEVVVEEERRR do stuff like that. Must be nice.

Also, for everyone: when you are thinking of what to write, do you try to narrow down your ideas to just a few, and then finally down to one? Are you ever conflicted between two story ideas? Do you end up writing two stories and then just choosing one?

Ashes said:
I think this might be my last thread for a while. Will definitely try to get something in. & VOTE!
Click to expand...

Threads without Ashes? :( :( We all fall down.
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
Tangent said:
Mike, I thought of you on Monday because I had a report to write for work before Tuesday at 7:15 am. I imagine it would have taken 3 hours if I worked efficiently with maybe a few minutes of spacing out. Instead, I was totally not in the mood to write -- I had the day off -- and even wiped dust off my desk because it was "something I needed to do." I think it took me 7 hours (I had the internet readily available). That might be a conservative estimate. I have a problem. I bet you NNNEEEEVVVEEERRR do stuff like that. Must be nice.
Click to expand...

Nah, I'm distracted constantly (though usually at work I'm distracted by other work related things. My job seems to be non-stop crisis mode at the moment.). Anything over 2K words in a day is extraordinary for me, and involves being really in the zone or spending a lot of time ignoring my family in the evening : )

Also, for everyone: when you are thinking of what to write, do you try to narrow down your ideas to just a few, and then finally down to one? Are you ever conflicted between two story ideas? Do you end up writing two stories and then just choosing one?
Click to expand...
Kinda? I usually cycle through a few ideas in search of the one I'm going to write, but I have a fairly good pre-production filter, I guess you might say. I seem to be pretty good at recognizing well ahead of time what will work and won't and almost never actually start writing on something that I won't finish anymore.
 
C

Chainsawkitten

Member
Tangent said:
Also, for everyone: when you are thinking of what to write, do you try to narrow down your ideas to just a few, and then finally down to one? Are you ever conflicted between two story ideas? Do you end up writing two stories and then just choosing one?
Click to expand...

I take the very first idea that pops into my head. Then it can suck all it wants.
 
L

LaMagenta

Member
Tangent said:
Also, for everyone: when you are thinking of what to write, do you try to narrow down your ideas to just a few, and then finally down to one? Are you ever conflicted between two story ideas? Do you end up writing two stories and then just choosing one?
Click to expand...
Most of the time I just start writing not knowing where I'm going. Even when I have an idea, once I'm finished writing I realize I went another direction.
 
R

Rock And Roll

Member
I decided as some sort of half assed New Years resolution I would try to do some creative writing this year. I haven't written anything since high school about 10 years ago which should be painfully obvious to anyone reading. I am looking to get back into writing so I'll be trying to take part in these threads over the course of the next year. Here is my entry, at 1425 words in length.


Becoming Batman

Ever since I was a small boy, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a superhero. I wanted to be the only superhero who ever mattered. I wanted to be half man, half bat.

I wanted to be Batman.

I remember clearly the day I went to my parents with my career all figured out. I gathered my parents in the living room and told them “Mom, Dad, I know what I want to be when I grow up. And that is Batman.”

“That's wonderful honey!” My mom told me, but her words were hollow. “The only problem is that you can't be Batman. He's not real. He's a character created, contrived and credited solely to Bob Kane.” (lol)

“Your mother is right, son” Dad chimed in. “You can be anything you want in the entire world, just not Batman. Please, reevaluate your goals and pick something more realistic.”

Embarrassed and hurt by my parents callousness, I left the living room with my proverbial tail between my legs. How dare they squash my boyish dreams! They were supposed to be supportive of me. Where was the encouragement of my wildest ambitions?

I went up to my room and looked at myself in the mirror for what must have been hours. Never in my short life have I been one to let others dictate what I could and could not do. I decided that not even my parents would be given the privilege of telling me that I could not do something. They had no right to doubt their son! At that moment I decided the rest of my life would be dedicated to proving them wrong.

I was going to be Batman.

Years passed and I lived the life of a regular child growing up in Massachusetts. I completed all my schooling, even managing to study in Mexico for a year. Truancy was a staple of my high school years, although I still passed and even got accepted into the University of Virginia. I ended up following a girl I loved to the University of Vermont. She didn't feel the same way. It was a painful lesson that I had to learn at an early age. Wounded by unrequited love, I decided in an instant to move to Los Angeles and try to find my way in life. Only when I moved to California did my life truly begin.

However, before I could truly begin to grow as an adult, I had a lot of anger and childish stupidity I needed to work out of my system. I regret to admit attending a high school where the vast majority of students were anti-Semites. More or less, I became a bully for the next couple years. I played football for my high school team and continued to bully those around me. I worked as a manager of a clothing store in a mall and bullied those around me in attempts to impress the female employees of the mall. But then, I remembered the bat. Batman was no bully. What I had become was the furthest thing from what I wanted to be. I vowed to change my ways immediately.

The next 15 years I spent working a variety of jobs. I worked as a construction worker with one of my childhood friends (one of the smartest men you'd ever have the pleasure of meeting). I got a job in law enforcement, as I figured it would get me closer to the villainous scum I one day hoped to eradicate from the face of the earth.

During this period, I met a girl whom I thought I loved very deeply. Her name was Jennifer and things began to move pretty quickly. Within months of meeting each other we were talking of marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. It seemed we never spent a moment apart. Friends, family and general acquaintances talked non-stop about our relationship, speculating how unhealthy it was. Unhealthy it was indeed, and it seemed everyone saw it except for us. Things fall apart just as quickly as they came together. We decided it would be in both our best interest if we stopped seeing each other.

Shortly after, I met another girl named Jennifer. We were married within a year. Perhaps it was some sort of mid-mid-life crisis, but I felt urged to settle down immediately and start a family. Within a year of being married my wife gave birth to our first child. I took a long break from the jobs I was working. My parents had taught me to be pretty frugal with my spending which allowed me to more or less become a stay at home dad while Jennifer became the breadwinner.

After an extended lay off of a few years, I returned to a full time job. I began to work for the C.I.A., specializing in highly classified operations, like the time we extracted a bunch of “Canadians” from the Middle East. Once again, life had a degree of stability to it. I was working and managing to raise a family. Everything was coming together much better than I could have ever dreamed.

One day, after returning home from work, I noticed I had an unchecked voice mail. I must not have noticed my phone ringing during a busy day. I listened to the voice mail and nearly dropped the phone when I heard what the voice on the other end was saying. It was like a 30 second symphony in my ear. Never had I heard words so beautiful. I called the person back and said “Thank you very much, Mr. Snyder. My response to your enquiry is only one word: Yes.” I hung up the phone and called my parents, informing them I would be in town the next evening. I booked a flight to Massachusetts for the next day, bright and early in the morning. I went to bed with a shit-eating grin spreading from ear to ear.

The next morning, I went to the airport. I boarded my plane. Five and a half hours later, I arrived in Boston. I hailed a cab and told the cabby where my parents lived. I entered my folks house (they unlock the door for me whenever they are expecting my presence). After greeting them with hugs, kissed and general formalities, we sat down in the living room for me to tell them the big news.

“Mom. Dad. You know I love you both immensely. When I was young, I told you about something I aspired to be, but for whatever reason, you brushed me off. You told me what I wanted to be wasn't realistic. It was impossible. I decided on that night that even though it would pain me greatly, I was going to prove both of you wrong.”

My parents looked at me with confused stares, completely oblivious to what I was referring to.

“Honey, that doesn't sound like something we would ever say. What are you referring to?” My mother asked in a tone sweet as honey.

“Allow to me elaborate,” I said while pulling my phone out of my pocket. I dialled my voice mail, put the phone on speaker, held the phone up and played the message.

“Hello, Mr. Affleck. This is Zack Snyder, the director. Perhaps you've heard of me. Anyway, I'm making a Batman movie and since you were so fantastic as Daredevil, I want you to wear the mantle of the bat. Please call me as soon as you get this message.” The message ended with a high pitched beep. A robotic lady informed us it was now 5:11PM and I should press 1 to hear the message again or press 7 to delete it. My parents looked at me, realization dawning upon them.

“Ben, you're going to be Batman!” My father exclaimed.

“Yes father, I am. After you two told me I could never be him.”

“Now son, we only meant tha-” he began before I cut him off.

“Shut your fucking mouth. Do you know that the path I took in life was just so I could BE Batman? Well now I am going to be Batman. But it's not enough to simply BE the Bat,” I said cryptically while standing up and reaching into my waistband. I brandished two handguns before them.
“No, it is not enough to be the Bat. I must BECOME him.”

I pointed the guns both of their heads. My parents eyes grew wide.

LEGENDS OF BATMAN!
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
I was out of town last Friday-Monday and have worked through my lunches the past two days.

Fewest revisions ever! D :
 
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