In fairness, he does have one person - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/505258219/21st-century-holy-bible/comments
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21st Cenutry Holy Bible. A draft-esque alpha version
- Thread starter Ntsouls
- Start date
- Status
In fairness, he does have one person - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/505258219/21st-century-holy-bible/comments
EmCeeGramr
Member
what is the joke about the "tranpires" being "confused men who spend far too much time contemplating being women"
what is the idea that is supposed to make the reader laugh
CornBurrito
Member
South Park and Family Guy don't get laughs from having the characters go "Dick pussy nigga fag o'coon shit!"
Usually there's a context that allows them to use shock humor with some sort of tactfulness. Like that episode where they have Indiana Jones raped on screen by George Lucas and Spielberg. They didn't just throw in a random rape scene and go "lol rape is funnyz"
Kano on the Phone
Member
Homey-O and Poo-liet by Scott Denton
Homey-O: Where the fuck you is, Poo-liet? (said in black man accent)
Poo-liet: Where for thou art, Homey-O?
Homey-O: I'm from Africa.
Poo-liet: I'm on my period, I just pooped.
Homey-O: Let's basketball.
Poo-liet: Toilet.
Homey-O: Don't Jew me dis time, y'all Jewey Jewface!
Poo-liet: *shits all over the place*
Homey-O: Aw hell naw!
And scene.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Can you point me to an episode of South Park that was as racist as "N-word O'Coon taking over Africa"?
Maybe the show has been much more awful in the last decade, but I remember them usually doing the right thing and speaking truth to power, such as the problems with a token black kid, or how black people aren't allowed to live in nice neighborhoods because people are racist. It wasn't just about perpetuating tired stereotypes for no fucking reason.
Lionel Mandrake
Member
What's the link to your kickstarter?
Its just silly. Its funny to me because of how utterly ridiculous it is imagined in my mind.
Simon Belmont
Banned
I should have said five. There's always one.
Funny. You keep using that word, but I'm not convinced you know what it means. :|
Nestled_Grizzly
Member
I'll support this!
CornBurrito
Member
And even when South Park is offensive it has a context to justify it. Like the crack baby basketball episode. They didn't just go "lol crack babies!!!!!" They had a context that linked crack baby basketball and the exploitation of them to a real world issue. It was offensive to make a point. Not offensive for the sake of it.
Family Guy sometimes has non-contextual racist jokes, but Family Guy doesn't pitch itself as being important or thought provoking, which is why such humor works for Family Guy but not a Bible translation. The "shapeless, like a Filipino woman" joke would fit in Family Guy most likely. But not a Bible translation that attempts to treat itself as a serious way to spread god's word.
Blood Red Sky
Banned
I refuse to believe anyone can be this culturally tone-deaf.
Get back under your bridge, OP. Those billy goats won't gobble themselves.
I'm fucking dying here jesus :lol
Simon Belmont
Banned
I once tried to light a bible on fire and I'm pretty sure I was treating the good book with more respect then than OP is now.
EmCeeGramr
Member
op if this kind of humor is so funny then why do you keep it to yourself and your amazing bible translation and not post it regularly on the neo gaming age forums to share with us all
The Artful Dodger
Member
Somewhere, OP is laughing hysterically.
CharminUltra
Member
You guys leave the OP alone. Why don't you just come up with your own alpha version of a 21st Cenutory Holy Bible draft complete with Family Guy and South Park style humor and post it here and see what we think of it huh that's right.
You should follow the advice people have already given you. Start by writing other stuff and getting an idea of how to do it well.
XANDER CAGE
Member
First of all South Park and Family Guy often receive criticism for this kind of stuff.
The real reason, though, is that the targets of these jokes in things like South Park are not black people, gay people, or "tranpires." The real joke is on the people whose ignorance is being examined. It's not literally funny that Borat jokes about throwing jews down wells, it's funny (and sad) because the audience at the rodeo doesn't seem to find anything wrong with it. Randy identifying "I" as the missing letter in "N_GGERS" on Wheel of Fortune instead of "A" isn't funny because it's a funny word to say, it's a punchline about his own willful ignorance.
That isn't to say that these shows/movies aren't beyond criticism, but there's at least something TO them. The transgressiveness alone is not the joke. You keep talking about context, but this bible shit has zero context.
You should probably drop the Bible thing and write a book that puts that humor into context. As it stands now..it looks like someone comes on stage, says a bunch of offensive words and then walks off stage.
BTW....you don't have to use every racist, sexist, phobic word you can think of in order to get your point across. Leave something to the reader....PUT THE SHIT INTO CONTEXT.
Get what I'm typing???
So the advice I've gathered.
Less racist.
Less sexist.
Better composition (duh)
not soo many jokes one after another.
More subtly.
more witty and less vulgar.
The issue is. How do I get attention if its not ...like South Park Season 1?
I get what you all believe.
But what about gaining attention?
Less racist.
Less sexist.
Better composition (duh)
not soo many jokes one after another.
More subtly.
more witty and less vulgar.
The issue is. How do I get attention if its not ...like South Park Season 1?
I get what you all believe.
But what about gaining attention?
CornBurrito
Member
Now this is fucking funny.
Your work isnt like South Park season 1. South Park doesn't use racist/offensive humor to be "lol edgy and random." You do.
Simon Belmont
Banned
The last thing you need is more people seeing this.
So create more context. That makes sense.
Yes. More context.
Makes sense.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I feel like it makes sense to us, but I'm terrified of what it means to you.
I know you put a lot of work into this project, but you really should just cut your losses at this point and see it as a learning experience for the future. And keep in mind that comedy isn't for everyone.
EmCeeGramr
Member
PaulExcellent
Member
You don't, because it reads like trash.
Lionel Mandrake
Member
Look, I have a thing I have to go to. If this goes south, I'm not going to be able to summarize it until later tonight.
You're all on your own.
You're all on your own.
Dude Abides
Banned
Yes, more context. Sure, we know that Nigga O'Coon took over Africa, but we need to know how.
Captain Europe
Member
The sad part is that he's probably an adult.
Masquerader
Member
Even those ideas have the distinction of being slightly amusing, groan-inducing puns.
phillipgessert
Member
.
XANDER CAGE
Member
Context isn't a meter though you don't like fill up a bar of context until it goes "ding ding slurs are funny now"
It either has an acceptable context or it doesn't, and even that is subject to scrutiny and debate.
It either has an acceptable context or it doesn't, and even that is subject to scrutiny and debate.
The Artful Dodger
Member
CHEEZMO;122651287 said:
soo he needs to add more context?
The most offensive thing about this to me is how PAINFULLY unfunny it is.
The idea is bad and the execution is somehow worse.
You are not a funny person and you should feel bad for wasting everyone's time.
The odds of you ever re-writing this into something worthwhile are monkeys-with-typewriters remote.
GIVE UP
The idea is bad and the execution is somehow worse.
You are not a funny person and you should feel bad for wasting everyone's time.
The odds of you ever re-writing this into something worthwhile are monkeys-with-typewriters remote.
GIVE UP
Godspeed.
Veritigo_X
Member
It's all good. The link in the OP is all anyone needs.
Yes...those shows you keep mentioning. They also have characters that are more level headed. So the viewer/reader can relate. I don't watch much South Park, but I do remember one of the boys always points out how ridiculous Cartman is. Even if they participate, there's some realization at how crazy it is.
The Wayans have a character who's aloof to what's going on...so the subtle jokes stand out more because they tell the audience to figure some stuff out.
Sacha Baron does the same thing. Dictator was full of characters that were more level headed than he was.
Don't change the setting to >insert offensive time period here< and think that will give validity to what you're writing.
Murder. She Wrote
Member
:l
Brawndo Addict
Banned
The idea of a man becoming a woman is so absurdly weird. It is odd.
Its as odd to me as it is for a gay man to understand why a straight man likes women.
So why do men become women? They must of thought about doing it for a long time. It must not have been something impulsive.
Why do they feel the need to dress like a woman. Get implants, hormone therapy and so forth? Because God got it wrong and made them men?
Well I am getting ready to re write it. And I need a lot of critique.
I think its hilarious.
But I also see it needs a lot of work.
Most of you see "lots of work" as terrible and you worthy of giving up.
But thats why most drafts stay to the people who draft them.
I tried a different route. I went on this forum where I could get the maximum amount of attention I could think how to get.
terribletwo
Member
This was intensely amusing, but the revelation that it is racist as FUCK just took this project to a whole other level
e: lmao and transphobic
a two-fer!
e: lmao and transphobic
a two-fer!
XANDER CAGE
Member
yes....... more context........... all becomes clear now....... [strokes chin and begins to type C-O-N into Wikipedia]
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