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[7DollarHagane]

Site gets millions to sign up for cheating on their spouses with personal information.

Site hires hackers to "steal" personal information.

Site charges to delete information.

Site Profits.

 

[Hylian7]

some people commenting on this thing sure are weird

yeah cheating is absolutely terrible and no one should do it, but that doesnt make stealing and potentially airing allegedly secure personal information any less of a shitty crime

This, cheating is shitty, but the ramifications of having your personal information leaked on the internet are far greater than cheating in any relationship can be, especially if you are someone of note that would lose something from it (celebrity, politician, etc.).

Just think if Ashley Madison existed when Bill Clinton was in office, and he used it and this happened...

 

[timetokill]

Somebody signed up for Ashley Madison using one of my email accounts, so for a while I got a bunch of messages from people in the Grand Rapids area, lol

My wife and I used to read them and have a good laugh

 

[King Tubby]

This, cheating is shitty, but the ramifications of having your personal information leaked on the internet are far greater than cheating in any relationship can be, especially if you are someone of note that would lose something from it (celebrity, politician, etc.).

Just think if Ashley Madison existed when Bill Clinton was in office, and he used it and this happened...

He would be a fucking idiot. Could you imagine the President of the United States on a dating site for cheating spouses? It would be one of the dumbest political gaffes of all time.

The median age on GAF is way too young for this to resonate with many people. But it is true.

Seems like your advice for all the wisdom is don't get fucking married in the first place.

Like I know, lol, righteous indignation, but literally the defense is "I WANNA BE HAPPY, LIFE IS SHORT, FUCK EVERYBODY WHO ISN'T ME"

 

[BobLoblaw]

some people commenting on this thing sure are weird

yeah cheating is absolutely terrible and no one should do it, but that doesnt make stealing and potentially airing allegedly secure personal information any less of a shitty crime

I just want to watch the world burn. I can't even imagine millions of cheaters being exposed at the same time. Can I invest in divorce lawyer stock anywhere?

 

[MUnited83]

Site gets millions to sign up for cheating on their spouses with personal information.

Site hires hackers to "steal" personal information.

Site charges to delete information.

Site Profits.

But the hackers claim they have the data that was supposed to be deleted as well.

 

[TheExecutive]

I am ok with the RL names being aired out to the public as there is really not a whole lot to be done with a name. However, the data they gathered is rather nefarious for just outing cheaters so gotta say... No Bueno.

Wait was it just names and addresses? Do we know the extent of the breach? People talking about identity theft in this thread made me think there was more to it.

 

[King Tubby]

I mean, obviously identity theft is a bad thing. But cheaters are pieces of shit who betray trust and ruin entire families. I've seen so many relationships disintegrate in an ugly, ugly fashion because some asshole couldn't keep their genitals in their pants, and to see some people in this thread downplay it is really odd. Sopranos spoilers, but this isn't that far from the emotional impact of this shit on somebody you've promised to love and care for.

 

[TheExecutive]

This, cheating is shitty, but the ramifications of having your personal information leaked on the internet are far greater than cheating in any relationship can be, especially if you are someone of note that would lose something from it (celebrity, politician, etc.).

Just think if Ashley Madison existed when Bill Clinton was in office, and he used it and this happened...

Your name and address? They used to throw that shit on everyone's porch. It was called a phone book. They even threw phone numbers in there for kicks. Damn Yellow Pages.

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

Edit: nevermind

 

[Darth Karja]

I just want to watch the world burn. I can't even imagine millions of cheaters being exposed at the same time. Can I invest in divorce lawyer stock anywhere?

Im here with you. I think it would be awesome to give out the names and addresses of all the users.

 

[Fathom]

Seems like your advice for all the wisdom is don't get fucking married in the first place.

Like I know, lol, righteous indignation, but literally the defense is "I WANNA BE HAPPY, LIFE IS SHORT, FUCK EVERYBODY WHO ISN'T ME"

The insight and maturity of this post proves our point.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

The median age on GAF is way too young for this to resonate with many people. But it is true.

I can gather from responses in this topic who might be single, never had a partner, insecure, having my first teenage romance "OMG s/he's the ONE" and not married. I think there would be no surprise at the correlation of age and some of the responses in here.

 

[DarkFlow]

Yes.

Of course it can be reason for divorce and certain payments that come with that, but the police won't be throwing you in jail.

It is in the Military.
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/punitivearticles/a/mcm1342.htm

Maximum punishment.

Dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for 1 year.

 

[BobLoblaw]

I wonder how many executives, presidents, political figures, and other high profile people frequent this site. The fallout from releasing the names of tens of millions of cheaters and potential cheaters would be insane.

 

[MattyG]

I'd be curious how many of the people saying "good, release the names" in here were decrying Gawker for their little scandal in the other thread. Of course, the information Gawker used may have been falsified by their source, but even then I saw lots of people saying "he's a private citizen, it's not up to them to release that information" and things of that nature. Add on to that the fact that the Ashley Madison information was obtained illegally and I'm having a hard time understanding a lot of the replies in here.

I think cheating is a terrible thing and it ruins families, but the differences between the reaction to this and the reaction to the Gawker situation is astounding.

 

[Opto]

I'd be curious how many of the people saying "good, release the names" in here were decrying Gawker for their little scandal in the other thread. Of course, the information Gawker used may have been falsified by their source, but even then I saw lots of people saying "he's a private citizen, it's not up to them to release that information" and things of that nature. Add on to that the fact that the Ashley Madison information was obtained illegally and I'm having a hard time understanding a lot of the replies in here.

I think cheating is a terrible thing and it ruins families, but the differences between the reaction to this and the reaction to the Gawker situation is astounding.

A surprising number of people in the Gawker thread were arguing it was fine to out him because the guy was a cheater

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

I'd be curious how many of the people saying "good, release the names" in here were decrying Gawker for their little scandal in the other thread. Of course, the information Gawker used may have been falsified by their source, but even then I saw lots of people saying "he's a private citizen, it's not up to them to release that information" and things of that nature. Add on to that the fact that the Ashley Madison information was obtained illegally and I'm having a hard time understanding a lot of the replies in here.

I think cheating is a terrible thing and it ruins families, but the differences between the reaction to this and the reaction to the Gawker situation is astounding.

It's only a good thing when it happens to objectively "bad" people. People will scream.

A surprising number of people in the Gawker thread were arguing it was fine to out him because the guy was a cheater

Huh.

 

[BobLoblaw]

I'd be curious how many of the people saying "good, release the names" in here were decrying Gawker for their little scandal in the other thread. Of course, the information Gawker used may have been falsified by their source, but even then I saw lots of people saying "he's a private citizen, it's not up to them to release that information" and things of that nature. Add on to that the fact that the Ashley Madison information was obtained illegally and I'm having a hard time understanding a lot of the replies in here.

I think cheating is a terrible thing and it ruins families, but the differences between the reaction to this and the reaction to the Gawker situation is astounding.

All I'm talking about is releasing names. I don't care what gender you're cheating with and I don't care to see any texts or dick pics. If Gawker just said he was caught soliciting someone for sex, then I would've been ok with it. They gave every possible detail instead of just saying the guy was a cheater.

 

[Gemüsepizza]

It is quite telling that some people who say that cheating can be acceptable because of "reasons" prefer to belittle the ones who have zero tolerance for cheating (you must be single, unmarried, a virgin, in your first relationship) instead of explaining what those omnious "reasons" might be. Also, I really can't stand the phrase "It's not all black and white" anymore - I heard this so many times from people who want to justify that they did evil stuff.

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

I don't understand. Why do you care so much about them releasing these names other than to hurt these people?

 

[MattyG]

It is quite telling that some people who say that cheating can be acceptable because of "reasons" prefer to belittle the ones who have zero tolerance for cheating (you must be single, unmarried, a virgin, in your first relationship) instead of explaining what those omnious "reasons" might be. Also, I really can't stand the phrase "It's not all black and white" anymore - I heard this so many times from people who want to justify that they did evil stuff.

Aside from a couple people, I don't see anyone saying that cheating is acceptable.

What I see is people saying that wanting this information to be released as some form of comeuppance isn't right because the information was obtained illegally, it sets a bad precedent, and it's none of our business what private citizens do within the confines of the law.

 

[Fathom]

It is quite telling that some people who say that cheating can be acceptable because of "reasons" prefer to belittle the ones who have zero tolerance for cheating (you must be single, unmarried, a virgin, in your first relationship) instead of explaining what those omnious "reasons" might be. Also, I really can't stand the phrase "It's not all black and white" anymore - I heard this so many times from people who want to justify that they did evil stuff.

I actually went into detail about it in the last page, but people like you insist on burying your head in the "nope, it's evil, that's all there is to it" sand.

 

[DJwest]

It could be that way. It could also be more complicated.

Please elaborate with an example, I'm really curious.

That's what I've been saying. But no, cheating is cheating and anyone who cheats does it because they're a scumbag, no exceptions. :/ I'm not justifying cheating, I just want to point out that life isn't black and white.

Could you please give a scenario that would qualify as an exception in your opinion?

Cheating is a simple concept, primitive even. Care to give me an example of "complicated?"

I would love that as well.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

It is quite telling that some people who say that cheating can be acceptable because of "reasons" prefer to belittle the ones who have zero tolerance for cheating (you must be single, unmarried, a virgin, in your first relationship) instead of explaining what those omnious "reasons" might be. Also, I really can't stand the phrase "It's not all black and white" anymore - I heard this so many times from people who want to justify that they did evil stuff.

The reasons are they are cowards. Let's not pretend there's any other reason to cheat.

If you're unhappy, move the fuck on...those who don't are too cowardly to leave the comfortable situation they have and would rather cheat.

 

[Shuggananas]

I don't understand. Why do you care so much about them releasing these names other than to hurt these people?

It's more about not feeling bad about people who hurt people getting hurt

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

It's more about not feeling bad about people who hurt people getting hurt

I'm about to go to bed so I may not see your reply but this doesn't only hurt the "cheater". Their family and friends become involved in this as well. Millions watching their lives unravel because you want to see these "cheaters" get what they deserve.
Along with that it as sets a dangerous precedent that leaking someone's piracy information is ok as long as the person is suspected of cheating. Quite the change from that gawker situation.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm about to go to bed so my not see your reply but this doesn't only hurt the "cheater". Their family and friends become involved in this as well. Millions watching their lives unravel because you want to see these "cheaters" get what they deserve.
Along with that it as sets a dangerous precedent that leaking someone's piracy information is ok as long as the person is suspected of cheating. Quite the change from that gawker situation.

Because having your cheating exposed is a direct equivalent to having your sexuality revealed?

There's no difference in both situations?

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

Because having your cheating exposed is a direct equivalent to having your sexuality revealed?

There's no difference in both situations?

Yes. This is Personal matter that should be resolved as such.
Also do you honestly believe that people only cheat with the opposite sex? I'm betting many people will be outed if these names are released.

 

[grumble]

The reasons are they are cowards. Let's not pretend there's any other reason to cheat.

If you're unhappy, move the fuck on...those who don't are too cowardly to leave the comfortable situation they have and would rather cheat.

Say you're not satisfied in your marriage but love your kids and want to be there for them. If you split you know that you'll be seeing them every other weekend. Or say that you know a divorce would be hell on everyone and don't want to go through that. I know divorced that took several years and were absolutely horrific and life destroying. Or say you and your wife have an unspoken 'arrangement' where it's don't ask, don't tell.

Those are all reasons that make cheating less about cowardice and more about practicality. I'm not saying that it's okay or a good thing but it's not as clear cut.

 

[Gemüsepizza]

Say you're not satisfied in your marriage but love your kids and want to be there for them. If you split you know that you'll be seeing them every other weekend. Or say that you know a divorce would be hell on everyone and don't want to go through that. I know divorced that took several years and were absolutely horrific and life destroying. Or say you and your wife have an unspoken 'arrangement' where it's don't ask, don't tell.

Those are all reasons that make cheating less about cowardice and more about practicality. I'm not saying that it's okay or a good thing but it's not as clear cut.

Uh what? Then talk with your partner and maybe he/she agrees to an open relationship? I mean seriously? "Not being satisfied" is not a valid reason to cheat.

 

[daniels]

Say you're not satisfied in your marriage but love your kids and want to be there for them. If you split you know that you'll be seeing them every other weekend. Or say that you know a divorce would be hell on everyone and don't want to go through that. I know divorced that took several years and were absolutely horrific and life destroying. Or say you and your wife have an unspoken 'arrangement' where it's don't ask, don't tell.

Those are all reasons that make cheating less about cowardice and more about practicality. I'm not saying that it's okay or a good thing but it's not as clear cut.

the bolded is the only thing i maybe can understand in this particular context the rest... not soo much.
Why should anyone that gets cheated on care about the feelings of the cheater? Your are NOT the victim in this scenario...

 

[grumble]

Uh what? Then talk with your partner and maybe he/she agrees to an open relationship? I mean seriously? "Not being satisfied" is not a valid reason to cheat.

You really don't see any scenarios where your relationship is a nightmare but you don't want to lose your kids? I'd assume that is a common reason to cheat in established relationships.

 

[Doc Holliday]

I'm happily married and thankfully I haven't had the need to cheat but some of you guys are fooling yourselves if you think things don't change. Some of you sound like me when I was a teenager when I used to tell people "don't cheat, just leave". life is a lot more complicated. Not everyone is mentally, financially or socially ready for such a thing.

I've seen too much shit to be judgmental about relationships.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Yes. This is Personal matter that should be resolved as such.
Also do you honestly believe that people only cheat with the opposite sex? I'm betting many people will be outed if these names are released.

It's not a personal matter the moment they decide to sign up to a website with the sole purpose of cheating.

As for people cheating with the same sex. That's not the same as having your sexuality, which you've accepted but chosen not to share, revealed by a muckraking outlet.

Say you're not satisfied in your marriage but love your kids and want to be there for them. If you split you know that you'll be seeing them every other weekend. Or say that you know a divorce would be hell on everyone and don't want to go through that. I know divorced that took several years and were absolutely horrific and life destroying. Or say you and your wife have an unspoken 'arrangement' where it's don't ask, don't tell.

Those are all reasons that make cheating less about cowardice and more about practicality. I'm not saying that it's okay or a good thing but it's not as clear cut.

If they aren't satisfied, why are they still in the relationship?

Leave.

Choosing to cheat instated of divorce... How is that not cowardly? It might be destructive, but so is cheating, so is pretending to be intonationally involved in the relationship when you're not, so is leading on your partner and allowing them to feel safe and secure when they are anything but...

If they have a DADT arrangement, that's an open relationship and doesn't fall under the banner of cheating.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You really don't see any scenarios where your relationship is a nightmare but you don't want to lose your kids? I'd assume that is a common reason to cheat in established relationships.

Lose your kids in what way?

They can't fight for access and choose to very active in their kids lives?

 

[grumble]

I'm happily married and thankfully I haven't had the need to cheat but some of you guys are fooling yourselves if you think things don't change. Some of you sound like me when I was a teenager when I used to tell people "don't cheat, just leave". life is a lot more complicated. Not everyone is mentally, financially or socially ready for such a thing.

I've seen too much shit to be judgmental about relationships.

Exactly. The people posting this stuff clearly don't understand the context or they'd understand the shades of grey involved. Leaving isn't so easy, it's not even close to breaking up with a high school girlfriend. As soon as kids are involved or you have massive financial and social connections it's a completely different ball game. Obviously still don't cheat, and leave if you can, or whatever but it's not like these people are demons. They're often humans in a tight spot not getting what they need from a relationship and where it's extremely hard to leave and after a while they snap.

 

[grumble]

Lose your kids in what way?

They can't fight for access and choose to very active in their kids lives?

Seriously?

It's possible to be a good parent in a divorced family but it is really hard and often not great for the kids. It's often really hard on them on an initial split and ongoing basis. That you think this is a 'no big deal' thing is really surprising to me. You may also have restricted visitation rights, and while you aren't around your ex shits on you to the kids. Or maybe your ex moves four hours away and it's on you to make it there every other weekend because that's all you get, and hey maybe she'll remarry and some other guy is getting called dad.

It is really horrible for everyone and that you make it a one-line reply means you haven't thought it through.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm happily married and thankfully I haven't had the need to cheat but some of you guys are fooling yourselves if you think things don't change. Some of you sound like me when I was a teenager when I used to tell people "don't cheat, just leave". life is a lot more complicated. Not everyone is mentally, financially or socially ready for such a thing.

I've seen too much shit to be judgmental about relationships.

Then don't allow yourself to end up in a situation where you can't leave at the drop of s hat. It's not difficult to remain independent in a long term relationship.

I'm seeing lots of examples, but each one is more cowardly than the last.

Not a single one is good enough to justify cheating. All laced with varying amounts of cowardice of oh no think of the children, it might be hard, it might be destructive, iI might not be able to support myself...

 

[YoungFa]

For a moment I confused Ashley Madison with Kelly Madison.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Say you're not satisfied in your marriage but love your kids and want to be there for them. If you split you know that you'll be seeing them every other weekend. Or say that you know a divorce would be hell on everyone and don't want to go through that. I know divorced that took several years and were absolutely horrific and life destroying. Or say you and your wife have an unspoken 'arrangement' where it's don't ask, don't tell.

Those are all reasons that make cheating less about cowardice and more about practicality. I'm not saying that it's okay or a good thing but it's not as clear cut.

Maybe put the welfare and happiness of your kids before your own sexual gratification. Just a thought.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Seriously?

It's possible to be a good parent in a divorced family but it is really hard and often not great for the kids. It's often really hard on them on an initial split and ongoing basis. That you think this is a 'no big deal' thing is really surprising to me. You may also have restricted visitation rights, and while you aren't around your ex shits on you to the kids. Or maybe your ex moves four hours away and it's on you to make it there every other weekend because that's all you get, and hey maybe she'll remarry and some other guy is getting called dad.

It is really horrible for everyone and that you make it a one-line reply means you haven't thought it through.

And how does cheating not negatively impact the children?

Mum or dad are too preoccupied with trying to hide their cheating, always away to spend time with their new lover, in the throws of lust that occupies their attention.

Sending emails, sexts, etc. Trying to find some time to message/chat when their partner is out but their kid isn't...

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

It's not a personal matter the moment they decide to sign up to a website with the sole purpose of cheating.

As for people cheating with the same sex. That's not the same as having your sexuality, which you've accepted but chosen not to share, revealed by a muckraking outlet.

First the site's sole purpose isn't of cheating, it only sells its self as one. It's a gloried dating site. Why is it not personal matter at that point? There is another person involved in that cheating that probably not what it on the internet for all to see.
How is that not exactly the same as the gawker piece? That's what that writer tried is it not? What possible reason should the information made public outside of the people involved?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

First the sites sole purpose isn't of cheating, it sells its self as one. It's a gloried dating site. Why is it not personal matter at that point? There is another person involved in that cheating that probably not what it on the internet for all to see.
How is that not exactly the same as the gawker piece? That's what that writer tried is it not? What possible reason should the information made public outside of the people involved?

The Gawker piece, to my understanding, outed someone who didn't want their sexuality to be public knowledge. They weren't trawling dating sites hoping to cheat on their partner.

There's a huge difference between the two.

 

[Fathom]

And how does cheating not negatively impact the children?

Mum or dad are too preoccupied with trying to hide their cheating, always away to spend time with their new lover, in the throws of lust that occupies their attention.

Sending emails, sexts, etc. Trying to find some time to message/chat when their partner is out but their kid isn't...

Kids often times have absolutely no clue as long as their parents are civil with eachother.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Kids often times have absolutely no clue as long as their parents are civil with eachother.

They are still impacted with their parents being more preoccupied with their cheating.

And it's a bit silly to say that kids don't notice that their parent is suddbely not emotionally available as they once were or are busy doing "something else".

 

[Fathom]

Lose your kids in what way?

They can't fight for access and choose to very active in their kids lives?

So I guess you don't know anything about divorce.

#1. It's very difficult and very costly, both financially and emotionally, and causes lots of problems for very young kids (age 6-12).

#2. The kids will be split spending a set amount of time with each parent separately. This alone is enough to not get a divorce for lots of parents - if they both love their kids why would they want to only spend 2 or 3 days a week with them instead of every day?

#3. This is partially covered by #1, but again the financial part of it is huge. Not only the money spent getting through the divorce, but they no longer have a joint income and the husband or wife has to relocate. Between all of that and having to see your kids for half the time, it's no surprise at all why couples who don't have sex anymore cheat. There's plenty of other smaller and more context specific reasons I'm not listing here, too.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So I guess you don't know anything about divorce.

#1. It's very difficult and very costly, both financially and emotionally, and causes lots of problems for very young kids (age 6-12).

#2. The kids will be split spending a set amount of time with each parent separately. This alone is enough to not get a divorce for lots of parents - if they both love their kids why would they want to only spend 2 or 3 days a week with them instead of every day?

#3. This is partially covered by #1, but again the financial part of it is huge. Not only the money spent getting through the divorce, but they no longer have a joint income and the husband or wife has to relocate. Between all of that and having to see your kids for half the time, it's no surprise at all why couples who don't have sex anymore cheat. There's plenty of other smaller and more context specific reasons I'm not listing here, too.

And this justfifies cheating?

No, it doesn't.

 

[Scientist Supreme!]

The Gawker piece, to my understanding, outed someone who didn't want their sexuality to be public knowledge. They weren't trawling dating sites hoping to cheat on their partner.

There's a huge difference between the two.

The gawker piece said it was married male looking for a male escort. I don't think it turned out to be true but a form of blackmailing by the escort. So if the gawker piece is right(even if it's not true a situation like it would suffice) then yes this is the same thing.

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

Kids often times have absolutely no clue as long as their parents are civil with eachother.

hmmmm, In my experience they can tell when something is not right between their parents. They may not know what it is but they can tell something is off.

I don't condone adultery or doxing but i'm finding it difficult to drum up sympathy for those who use the site for extramarital sex. As kids we went through years of tension, lies and broken promises because dad was with another woman before mum threw him out. All the time we knew something was off, just not what it was. I'd rather he had just been up front about it and divorced rather than dragging everyone through years of shit that just hung like a miasma no-one could source. As it stands because of his actions i haven't spoken to him in over a decade.

Adultery is damaging and just shitty behaviour.