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22 movies Ebert really hated

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S

Stumpokapow

listen to the mad man
G

Galang

Banned
Hocus Pocus? The fuck?! That's one of the few seasonal movies I actually will tune in to watch every year. Surprised they haven't tried to remake it yet...
 
M

MattKeil

BIGTIME TV MOGUL #2
Affeinvasion said:
I agree but I like the performances so much that I don't care how dumb the plot is.
Click to expand...

That's a legit approach to a movie. God knows the performances were the only thing worth anything in American Hustle, and I got through that okay. Usual Suspects is a far blander, more self-satisfied film, though, which gets on my nerves. The more I go back through Bryan Singer's films, the less I understand where his reputation as a great director came from. Even in his better pictures, he's workmanlike at best.

But this probably belongs in the "unpopular film opinions" thread, not the "Ebert was unmatched when it came to dropping ether on terrible movies" thread.
 
S

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
Only one I disagree with was The Village but to be fair that's because I was so mad at the set design and dialog "accuracy" and costume design throughout the movie that the twist caused reverse mind blown admiration.
 
J

jett

D-Member
Savage Ebert is unbeatable. I really miss him. He's the only movie critic I truly ever cared about.
 
T

Toxi

Banned
"'This sucks on so many levels.' Dialogue from 'Jason X'; rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. 'Jason X' sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought."
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Eh, I prefer what he said about The Final Chapter.
 
R

RecRoulette

Member
Stumpokapow said:
It's pretty bad that mentalfloss is ok with just straight up stealing a bunch of someone's content and putting all their ads over it and the person stealing the content is the one who got paid.

For what it's worth, Ebert released two compilation books of reviews of bad movies, in case you want to pay his estate instead of Dennis Publishing Inc.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002U4XPII/?tag=neogaf0e-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5BY3OO/?tag=neogaf0e-20
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Aren't these just compilations? Why is the second one so much cheaper than the first?
 
B

Bishop89

Member
MattKeil said:
Ebert the god. Usual Suspects is one of the most overrated films of my lifetime.
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It is, though it has two amazing scenes.
The twist at the end, and the line-up scene

the-usual-suspects-lineup-o.gif
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower

Johnny Cage In The Shower

Member
Fun Fact: When I was a pre-teen in the mid-nighties, on Saturday afternoons, I used to drop everything I was doing, run home just in time to watch Siskel and Ebert At The Movies on TV. I used to be glued to the TV and watch it in excitement, the same way kids these days anticipate an episode of Game of Thrones Sunday nights!

It was one of the best and most entertaining shows on TV. you just wanted to hear their opinion on the latest blockbusters, it was even more fun when I actually saw a movie and waited to find out if my opinion of the movie aligned with any of their's, why and why not.
 
T

Toxi

Banned
When the movie’s director responded by mocking Ebert’s weight, Ebert said, “It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of 'The Brown Bunny.'"
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This is still the greatest Ebert burn in history.
 
R

RBH

Member
16. Tommy Boy, one star.

“No one is funny in ‘Tommy Boy.’ There are no memorable lines. None of the characters is interesting, except for the enigmatic figure played by Rob Lowe, who seems to have wandered over from ‘Hamlet.’ Judging by the evidence on the screen, the movie got a green light before a usable screenplay had been prepared, with everybody reassuring themselves that since they were such funny people, inspiration would overcome them.”
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Fuck you
 
S

Sheroking

Member
Toxi said:
This is still the greatest Ebert burn in history.
Click to expand...

He didn't come up with that. It's a famous Winston Churchill burn.

Lady: "You're drunk!"
Churchill: "Yes, and you are ugly. In the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly".
 
T

Toxi

Banned
Sheroking said:
He didn't come up with that. It's a famous Winston Churchill burn.

Lady: "You're drunk!"
Churchill: "Yes, and you are ugly. In the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly".
Click to expand...
Don't care, the Ebert version is much funnier.
 
S

Skiptastic

Member
Stumpokapow said:
It's pretty bad that mentalfloss is ok with just straight up stealing a bunch of someone's content and putting all their ads over it and the person stealing the content is the one who got paid.

For what it's worth, Ebert released two compilation books of reviews of bad movies, in case you want to pay his estate instead of Dennis Publishing Inc.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002U4XPII/?tag=neogaf0e-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5BY3OO/?tag=neogaf0e-20
Click to expand...
Thank you. I saw the thread title and said to myself, "Well he did write two books on bad movies" then saw it was just some list stealing his work. Disgusting.

Support the man, not some hack website.
 
H

HylianTom

Banned
Oh no no no.

Mannequin is an American 80s treasure. My Mom and I do impersonations of Felix allll the time to this day.

"Switcherrrrrrrr!"

"Switcher, you are ONE. SICK. PUPPY."
 
M

my6765490

Member
He can have his missteps, but even then, the prose is still amazing:
Have you noticed how cats and dogs will look at a TV screen on which there are things jumping around? It is to that level of the brain's reptilian complex that the film appeals.
Click to expand...

The Raid: Redemption - 1/4
 
Shpeshal Nick

Shpeshal Nick

aka Collingwood
Mostly spot on list. Even if it includes movies I personally enjoyed.

But Usual Suspects and The Village? Fuck that.
 
cj_iwakura

cj_iwakura

Member
No one could eviscerate a bad film like Ebert. I agreed with a lot of his taste in film. (Dark City and Ghibli, among others)
 
C

CrazyDude

Member
Sheroking said:
He didn't come up with that. It's a famous Winston Churchill burn.

Lady: "You're drunk!"
Churchill: "Yes, and you are ugly. In the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly".
Click to expand...

Another one from Churchill.

"Tell the Lord Privy Seal that I am sealed in the privy and can only deal with one s*** at a time," he bellowed.
Click to expand...
 
Z

ZombiePlatypus

Member
What he spewed there against Spice Girls and Spice World is pure blasphemy.

They're incredible, and that film's a timeless, untouchable masterpiece. I've been dreaming day and night for years for an ultra-HD, high frame-rate ,bluray release.

Well, that, and a Golden Girls 4K, HD, series box set. T_T
 
T

TAJ

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
I enjoyed seven of those.
 
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