Sit back, children, gramps is talking about his childhood.
When I was a kid my father decided he needed a computer and bought a Schneider PCW 8512, also known as Joyce. (Those of you living in the UK might know it from its original manufacturer, Amstrad.)
My father wasn't too keen on computer games, so it took me some weeks of begging to be allowed to buy myself a game for this wondrous machine. Off we drove to the nearest city, entered a computer shop and lo and behold, they had not one, but three different games for the Joyce. Two of them were made by Infocom (one even the infamous "The Lurking Horror", if I recall correctly), but since I didn't know any English back then the salesperson recommended a game called "S.A.S. Raid" (and with that name I'm sure every one of you can understand why I can't even google a single image of it ...).
I put 70DM on the counter and took my new possession home, eager to explore the worlds my new treasure would show me. Well ...
... Well. The instructions to the game where in English, so it took me a while until I finally managed to start it. The game greeted me with a horrible stick figure standing in the middle of a map of (I think) 5x5 squares. I could walk left, right, up and down, with no big changes to the map: After every move I still saw the same squares, just sometimes other stick figures appeared.
When the stick figures touched my figure the text "You have been caught" was shown on the monitor.
Again, little me didn't know any English, so I grabbed a dictionary, thumbed through it and translated the sentence word by word.
"You" -- that's me!
"have" -- well, I did or got something, sounds good.
"been" -- boy, this is a tough one! Finally, I found something in the dictionary that looked familiar -- "bee". So -- "been" must be a multiple of that?
I don't know how, but I even managed to get the connection from "caught" to "catch", so ... The game is telling me that I caught some bees? What do I want with them? And what do they have to do with that guy dressed in black on the cover?
But catching something must be good, so naturally I always chased the "bees" when they appeared on the screen. Was a very disappointing game for me, cost me a lot of money and I never came any further than chasing bees ...
Fortunately, I got hold of another game for the computer, a collection even: Classic Collection II,
this one. It contained three games: a skiing game, a shmup and a Donkey Kong clone -- I especially loved the last one. Without that collection and
Head over Heels my gaming career might have ended right then and there.