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12 Days of GAFMas 2018: Confessions

Melon

Melon

Banned
I'm so ready.

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Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
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GAFession #1:

So, years ago I went out with a mate of mine to drink piss on the town. Anyway, after a long and drunken night, it was time to stumble home and my friend decided that he was going to sleep over at my place. I still lived with my mother at the time, so he was bunking in my bedroom, on the floor because I didn’t want my mother waking up to his detestable half-naked arse in the loungeroom. Fast forward to the (late) morning the next day and I start slowly waking up, half awake, half asleep, fully hungover and I notice I have morning wood (or morning glory, as I like to call it). So, I start playing with it to get this party started, as you do and I still have my eyes closed because I’m half asleep and tapping into my dream sequence whilst I still can. Now, I’m really getting into it and so I roll over onto my left side to get more leverage (I’m right handed). Just as I do that, I let out a pleasurable moan and then open my eyes... ...only to discover (as you’ve no doubt ascertained) my friend’s face no more than a foot from my own. What do you do here? Do you casually finish off the job and act like everything’s normal as, this is what blokes do or do you shamefully tuck it away and hope your friend is a really[/] deep sleeper? I chose the latter. He never brought it up, but he’s a depraved cunt anyway. Probably enjoyed it
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GAFession #2:

When I was younger I used to occasionally cut my brother's hair (nothing fancy, just one length all around with a pair of clippers). It wasn't a regular thing, just a couple times a year at most. It became a fun way we would goof off together - like giving him a mohawk before cutting it all down, etc. Well, eventually I started trimming my pubes and ass hair with the clippers, and naturally I didn't want to cut his hair with them anymore. Well it came time to cut his hair, and I said no I don't want to do it (I didn't reveal the pube/ass trimming). Him and his mom started giving me real drama about not wanting to do it, so I wiped out all the pube/ass hair remnants pretty good and then cut his hair with it.
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Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
15fIryC.png



GAFfession #1:

THE WHORESBANE

Greetings, fellow Gaffers. Oldschooler here, from way before all that madness (you know what I mean) went south. Still post on the new forum, under a new alias. Miss times of greater activity and more profund discussion though. Alas, at least we are back to being less easily offended and dont have the bloodlust to ask for the head of everyone that cracks a stupid joke. Anyway... Let me baptize this one THE WHORESBANE, OP. Yeah, Im a GoT fan but I do it so mostly for the giggles. The title says it all really. The real story just lacks the malice such a word may encompass. Since one year ago (give or take) I started whoring. Not myself. I mean I started using the services of prostitutes. You know what? I actually love it. Im in my thirties, not handsome but also not ugly, not the most social person in the world but a bit charismatic if I may say so myself, melancholic blue eyes, not the best with the ladies but also never single for a long period (if not by choice). Kind of tired of complicated relationships (I tend to attract women with issues too). Frustrated also with women that ask for everything and give little back. Regardless of that, what has been making this such a fantastic time is the beautiful, sweet girls I have been meeting (and banging the brains out hehehe) mixed with the sense of adventure. I had some bad experiences in these last odd twelve months. I was conned out of 100euros, prevented for some distressing 5minutes to leave a house I was entering for the first time, met a couple of 'mechanical girls' with whom I had a hard time getting a hard on, regardless of their beauty. Just to name a few of the less serious situations. Yet, mostly, it has been quite the ride! Obviously Im not talking about street hookers, much less women forced into sex labour (one of the gravest sins in this entire world; I put it above murder really). I mean independent escorts, private apartments (a third of the times their own houses as a matter of fact), hotels, motels, that kind of thing. So many interesting girls ou there on this work area! It really needs to be legalized worldwide and the social stigma has to end. And the sex... Damn... The art of the cortesan is not lost in the XXI century let me tell you! While money dries this underworld there are girls out there that really like to fuck and that are sex goddesses. I had and have good sex in my personal life and had a lot of escorts that, even when there was some chemistry, could only provide mild sex but some of it, some of them... My god, the best sex I have ever had or dreamed with. I have a huge sex drive and am actually quite decent in bed. I tend to last a looong time. Due to this and other issues I never had in my personal life sex as magical as the one Im having now. 1 hour, 2 hours of equally raw fucking and tender love making; deep throat, with a lot of hard slaps (Im a sucker for them), very fast and very hard penetration, hair pulling, hard choking, name calling but also passionated kisses, gentle caresses, her/their eyes lost in mine and her/their tongues entwined in mine... Long conversations after the act is done, even little naps, with a couple girls falling asleep under the touch of my hands. Some have even allowed me to film it or at least to take photos to serve as memorials. Some have even toke me out for a coffee or a drink after, no money involved. I never had both, I never had all of this, not in a single person, in my personal sexual life, not at this level; the both extremes in the same person. Granted, this level, I also only found in 5 or 6 of many, many escorts but still. A couple of girls even fell for me: not the ones I wanted though haha And nothing ever came to be from that. Im writing this from my work desk, after spending a morning with one such amazing escort, one I had been whatsapping for a couple days. We hit it off so well... She came to pick me up! Haha On her car. Drop dead gorgeous. Such a beautiful face, the best body I ever laid my dirty hands on-- a true pin up, if you can picture it. The best breasts I have ever seen and a behind to match. She drove me to her favourite motel, the conversation in the car was like two old friends catching up. So nice, so sweet. So sexy and so, so hot. We tore the room apart, one hour and a half of hardcore love making, I 'attacked' her and she 'jumped' me as soon as we left the car, on that tiny garage. I left that supremely round ass red as a pepper. We were sweating so much by the end of it... She was screaming she loved being my little slut by the middle of it. She fell into dreams while we talked after the deed was done, under the soft caresses I was giving her angelic face. She opened up quite a bit about her personal life. More of a third have, during this year of such missadventures, it really seems I have that gift, to make people, namely women, feel good and safe around me. That makes me proud, actually, and feeling good about myself. - Is that weird? She drove me all the way to my work office in the aftermatch! We spent a couple of minutes kissing in the car, with my hands groping her enormous breasts, before I went up to this very office Im at while writing this confession. She is a lab scientist in her 'regular' life! I really have to take care not be enraptured by this great woman. Nor to burn all my meager savings with her hahaha On a less stellar note, sometimes I fell the need to talk about this side of my life with people but obviously cant; I am a lone wolf as is, dont need to be completely socially ostracized. And I mean talk, not brag, just share the experience and I hate it when I feel like Im living a double life- that part I dont like at all. I am one person. Not two. After all, my life has been a quest of marrying these two apparent (and in most cases factual) opposites. The thrill of meeting a complete stranger, of devouring her head to toe as soon as I see her for the very first time arouses me but the secrecy doesnt. Nor does the lack of the other side of sex and love... I really wished I could have this type of woman, of sexual life, of romance, daily. Kind of burned out on that search though... Doesnt seem like a realistic possibility after all said and done... By the way, I always seem to only really 'click' with people leading alternative lifestyles; escorts, metal artists, horror authors, escorts... People less inclined to a project of life, love, companionship, a home, a family. Things that are also essential to me. Cant complain though, not after this morning, even if this upcoming lonely night is not something Im desperately craving for. Alas, the devil invented red wine for that particular type of melancholy though, and my country is known for good freaking wine! So, that's that I guess, this is my story and my confession. Sexy enough I hope, but nothing too scandallous. Im actually kind of a nice bloke. I still lack my bottle, a couple more hours until I head home, but cheers, GAF! I will pour one to you tonight.
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GAFfession #2:

I lost my virginity at 32
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GAFfession #3:

I had a couple of experiences with Lesbian colleagues in my work place (bar). First was a young one (21), we were out drinking and she kept buying rounds and shots, kinda strange as my money was no good that night. When we stumbled into her place she confessed that she wanted me to take her cherry, I relented after 5-10 minutes of talk and went down on her and when it was her turn and I took out the mandem she said "ewwwww", and I couldn't stop laughing, he wasn't offended either. Left it at that, got dressed and went home. Second was nearer to my age, she was cool, bubbly and confident and on her last day at work we were both pretty drunk when she grabbed me and started exploring with mouth and appendiges, as we were stumbling into a cab she muttered " I want to bone you" I couldn't stop laughing for a few minutes, kissed her goodnight and excused myself when we got to hers. There's one more, but I'll save for next Christmas.
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END OF DAY 12​
 
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Nymphae

Nymphae

Banned
Asympathetique said:
I'll work on it.
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I appreciate all the work you did, hope I didn't come off too harsh :messenger_grinning_sweat: thread is great I just had to mention that, you never see that much text with center justification. And the courier text is much harder to read than the default forum font imo.
 
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ThatStupidLion

ThatStupidLion

Member
are confessions released in random order?

asking for a friend.



I want to hear more from the 32 year old virgin. How did it go down? with who? how was it?!

also

@ the serial lesbian hunter: why don't you ever seal the deal? she wanted to peg you, you didnt need to be pegged still coulda gone up! and the first girl just wanted an instructional, you were bestowed to teach and educate
 
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Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
IN545bb.png


GAFfession #1:
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A few years back, I was still living with my parents, and my PC broke (the HDD did, IIRC). While I was trying to figure out what was wrong with it - it took me a few days - I used my mom's laptop while she was sleeping. Being a stupid teen at the time, I spent most of my nights at porn chat/cam rooms, and had in my PC a few dick pics for sending when conversations started to get hot. Well, I didn't have those on my mom's PC, so in her laptop I went to past conversations and downloaded a couple of pics to her desktop. Needless to say, I went to sleep, next day gave her the laptop back, and never remembered to delete those files. I remembered I hadn't deleted it somewhere around lunch time, went to the laptop as soon as she wasn't around, and no dick pic in sight. Till this day, we never spoke about it. And that was the day when I learned that my mom knew how to empty her laptop's recycle bin!
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GAFfession #2:
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Had a university course reunion gathering a few years back and on top of a fair amount of booze we all ended up going for a massive curry blowout afterwards. Next day feeling slightly worse for wear I made my way to another drinking establishment we were gathering at for a post-evening brunch. I had barely stepped through the front door before I felt telltale rumblings in my guts and quickly headed to the bathroom and straight into the first available stall, pulled down my pants and filled the entire bowl with what can best be described at pureed shit the colour of mustard and a smell so potent that it simultaneously singed the nose hairs whilst kickstarting the gag reflex into maximum overdrive. Having seemingly voided the entire contents of my intestinal tract in all its putrid glory I was keen to rid the world of its unholy vehemence and so I hit the flush to send it on its way to the hallowed halls of Shit Vahalla, and nothing happened. Twice, and not a plunger or toilet brush in sight to help it on its way. At this point in time, a sweaty realisation hit me that someone was clearly going to have to reach down into to those murky pungent depths of swirling yellow vileness and unplug whatever interdimensional Lovecraftian monstrosity below was barring the way to poop freedom by hand. The real question was, was it going to be me or one of the poor hapless bar staff? I leave it to you dear reader to figure out the rest. Just know that even now I've never been able to go back there since without the lingering sense that someone somewhere is giving me the stink eye. For shame.
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GAFfession #3:
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I'm not a Cunt(h)
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Scopa

Scopa

The Tribe Has Spoken
Yep. #1 is exactly how so many pornos start out. I want to know what happened next. Mum came home drunk that night and...
 
Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
Gk0oaCc.png

GAFfession #1:
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I had been dating my gf for roughly 3-4 years. It was the end of my senior year in college. Things started to get a little rocky that year as I was spending TONS of time away from her and more at the school labs focusing on my senior project. Once the initial deadline hit, everyone went out hard that night. After barhopping for awhile, a large group of us went to someones apartment and just started throwing a massive dance rager. shit got wild. Well naturally some friends of mine, girls who I also happened to flirt with quite bit, were at the party. One of the girls was a freshly outed lesbian. The other was a girl in the year or two below me. Well everyone was pretty toasted and I saw them whispering to each other. They knew, or at least one knew I had a serious gf. But somehow the topic came up for a threeway kiss and we proceeded to do said threeway kiss. That was neat. And my first! Well yada yada yada the three of us wound up back at someones bedroom. I have no clue whose or where, but this escalated into a full blown threesome. We were all naked laying on a bed together, but there wasn't much coordination. I will say it was a pretty awkward threesome. It was in the dark which made things a bit hard to navigate. Things weren't feeling that good. Hands were always uncomfortably placed. Boundaries weren't known, and yet did not want to be tested. It was quiet. It's pretty hazy to recall, but I remember moments of actual boredom. Sad, I know. It was during these boring moments, that I slowly sobered up a bit, I and recall not being too into it really and just the guilt always in my head, as I dearly loved my gf. The kicker though of how it ended is that I don't even think I came. Towards the end, or well what I considered the end as you'll see why, I reached around one of the girls was fingering/grabbing her ass, and it was the most uncomfortable, startling, shocking, boner killing, sobering, sensation to happen upon. She had such an unkempt hairy ass/crack. I'm fine with bush and hair. I just want expecting this and it kind hurt my fingers to touch it. I'm sure she would have cleaned up had she expected this too go down, but yeah it killed the mood for me completely. Especially since I was interacting with her the most. After all of this she finally started giving me some oral, but I couldn't get the hair and feeling out of my head. I needed out. The oral didn't feel good either. I just wanted out. Anyways, I don't remember how it truly ended. I don't recall it ever being awkward between any of us, esp since I worked with one of the girls later on. This night was never spoken of again though afaik. Yes, that girlfriend found out about the menage a trois and yes, now we're married!
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GAFfession #2:
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I once broke a bus with my head. Yep, you read that right. I was in high school and had to catch a bus into the city and then a bus out of the city to get home. The bus finally comes and it’s near peak hour with school kids and commuters going home from work, so the bus is packed to the rafters. I just manage to squeeze in as one of the last on board. So, I’m standing in the front entrance stairwell, next to the bus driver. The bus is so full that I can’t even get into the main part of the bus. Resigned to my fate that I have a long and standing trip ahead of me, I settle into my uncomfortable stairwell in a position in which I am facing the back of the bus, with most of the passengers facing the front, therefore I am in full view of everybody. We come to a bus stop just outside of town and because I am facing the back of the bus, I fail to notice that when the automatic doors open, they fold in and make a beeline for where my head is at. So, this door literally wedges my head, hard against a hand pole on the opposite side. I’m stuck there like I am in old timey stocks facing a bus full of people. I try to get my head out, but I can’t, so the bus driver panics and starts pressing buttons and pulling levers, desperately trying to get the door off me. I finally manage to extricate myself from my imprisonment. By this time, my face is beetroot red from a combination of embarrassment and exertion and when I think it couldn’t get any worse than a bus full of people laughing at me, the bus starts making these weird noise and subsequently SHUTS DOWN. I don’t know, went into some anti- dumbfuck safety mode or something. The poor driver tries to get it operational again for like 10 minutes, but after radioing back to base, stands up and announces to all the flustered that they will have to disembark and wait for the next bus. Safe to say, I walked the rest of the way home. Unfortunately, this is a true story.
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haxan7

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
apparently I need to make some more confessions to get this thread back on track

ohh shit, I'm just realizing now Asympathetique changed his username. My mind is so blown here
 
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