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[FelixOrion]

If your humor is too mean then tone it down. Still doesn't negate my point.

But that's thing, I don't know how to tone it down.

 

[Vermillion]

Then work on looks. That's it. Forget dating for now, forget humour and confidence. Start improving your looks. Now don't bullshit me and say you can't. You can. Get some sun, hit a gym, lose some weight, if you're skinny then bulk up, work to get a six pack even. Uh but I dunno what to do! Personal trainer. A lot of gyms give you one for free when you first join. After a few months you'll see a difference and you'll gain confidence from that which in turn will make talking to girls easier which in turn will help you GET the girl easier which in turn will motivate you to do more things to improve your life.

Hardly that, even. I go to the gym (every now and then), and I have a fine (but not godly) body. I attempt to keep my hair cut and stuff. Main thing (that I can fix) is that small gap in between my teeth.

Basically, I can't really do any more than I do. Oh, and I brush my teeth every day and night, bathe every morning, use deodorant, etc. I usually wear hoodies though (when it's cold I have no choice - black man's kryptonite). Eh, what the hell. I guess I'll try anyways next party I'm at.

 

[silentcapybara]

Go for a walk. Additionally, bring a camera if you have one, then take turns taking pictures of each other and whatever you see. (Dr. Who's awesome idea, not mine.) This is if she's a laid back woman -- she sounds like she'd appreciate something like this if you're taking her to a coffee place.

I appreciate your advice. Hopefully, it will go well.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

So what? You got a conversation out of it and met someone new. And who cares if they want more? The idea is to expand your horizons and learn more about people. If you're looking at everyone as a potential "bff" or romantic relationship it will just ruin it. Be yourself and try and learn about other people. You may even be underwhelmed more often than not, but the point is it is worth it when you meet new people.

I didn't say I was gonna stop. I don't wake up in the morning expecting anything and when I talk to people I'm just focused on what I'm talking about but I've been doing this for years now and it isn't really going anywhere which has me thinking maybe I'm not that impressive. I feel like a jerk or something coming in here with this negativity because the advice you guys give is pretty much ideal for a lot of dudes in here but I'm trying out a lot of different stuff because it beats doing nothing and they're all good ways to spend time instead of sitting in a room.

Hardly that, even. I go to the gym (every now and then), and I have a fine (but not godly) body. I attempt to keep my hair cut and stuff. Main thing (that I can fix) is that small gap in between my teeth.

Basically, I can't really do any more than I do. Oh, and I brush my teeth every day and night, bathe every morning, use deodorant, etc. I usually wear hoodies though (when it's cold I have no choice - black man's kryptonite). Eh, what the hell. I guess I'll try anyways next party I'm at.

Also this, I'm doing pretty much everything I can physically and while I haven't reached the absolute results I want I'm closer to the finish line now than any time before and soon I will have done all I can in that area unless I resort to surgery or something. What bothers me is after all this time I've put into my body and the sports I play I still pretty much suck at it, so I get picked last when teams are being made and I don't get respect from people I play with. Whether you realize it or not that instantly lowers their view of you when they see you as slow or weak or clumsy.

 

[Jzero]

If you're jobless and broke as a joke dating is out of the question huh?

 

[Darklord]

Hardly that, even. I go to the gym (every now and then), and I have a fine (but not godly) body. I attempt to keep my hair cut and stuff. Main thing (that I can fix) is that small gap in between my teeth.

Basically, I can't really do any more than I do. Oh, and I brush my teeth every day and night, bathe every morning, use deodorant, etc. I usually wear hoodies though (when it's cold I have no choice - black man's kryptonite). Eh, what the hell. I guess I'll try anyways next party I'm at.

Then what the fuck are you worried about? Uh oh, you aren't Brad Pitt! You must be ugly! Get with the reality and be more confident.

 

[FelixOrion]

If you're jobless and broke as a joke dating is out of the question huh?

Yep. Though, realistically, why would you worry about dating if you can't afford it? I don't wanna sound mean, but take care of yourself first.

 

[Vermillion]

Then what the fuck are you worried about? Uh oh, you aren't Brad Pitt! You must be ugly! Get with the reality and be more confident.

It's just that I notice most of the people who actually ask for help here are honestly pretty damn attractive, with just low self-esteem. When those people come up to SimplePickup to thank them? They're usually attractive guys. Yet people say that looks don't matter.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Looks don't matter. I know this because I have an attractive girlfriend.

 

[Cubsfan23]

go to the mall and see just how many chicks are with average or worse looking guys. Stop with the excuses

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

The thing is, good looking guys tend to be way more confident, which makes them all the more attractive.

 

[RedSwirl]

If you're jobless and broke as a joke dating is out of the question huh?

I'd like a general thread opinion on this. It's the primary reason I don't date at all right now.

 

[Vermillion]

The thing is, good looking guys tend to be way more confident, which makes them all the more attractive.

It's a cycle.

 

[Darklord]

It's just that I notice most of the people who actually ask for help here are honestly pretty damn attractive, with just low self-esteem. When those people come up to SimplePickup to thank them? They're usually attractive guys. Yet people say that looks don't matter.

Dude I'm not attractive. I do my best to lessen it. Get over it and strut what you got. Girls are confusing as hell and all guys know that, maybe when you're confidence and accept what you look like all of a sudden that 10/10 girl will like that and you're in.

go to the mall and see just how many chicks are with average or worse looking guys. Stop with the excuses

Seriously, there are some down right chuds with beautiful women.

 

[low-G]

Just yesterday I saw a balding, short, boring looking, unfit, poorly dressed, sarcastic, annoying, cheapass (they talked about cheaping out on the tip at a privately owned small restaurant that's struggling), dumb (couldn't figure out 10% tips and talked about the weather and nothing interesting) guy with a very attractive Asian girl and they were clearly in some advanced relationship (or even married) by the way they were talking. Not sure how long that thing was gonna last but maybe nothing really matters if you just appeal to some aspect to the girl.

I think they were both boring people really, just the girl was nice looking...

The point is if that guy can be in a relationship NOW there are no excuses.

Also I was waiting some place, not a stalker. :3

Oh yeah, he was incredibly awkward as well.

 

[Devolution]

Think of it this way, we're conditioned to be fickle creatures (not saying we all are) from changing our wardrobe, to our hair, to our accessories, etc. If you're lucky enough to find a woman who doesn't give a shit about these things good, but plenty do and if you're not interesting she will flake the fuck out. And since we're in a day and age where she can text, fb, and mingle on all kinds of platforms, if you don't stick out right away like a plumed peacock, good fucking luck.

So what does that mean? It means find something about yourself (a hobby, an interest, hell even a fashion style) that makes you stand out and don't apologize for it, embrace it. If some women are put off, fuck 'em, they probably weren't worth your time. But the confidence you exude by not giving a fuck will attract ever more women. This however doesn't mean be an asshole or be aloof, a lot of dudes can't seem separate it out. Also if it's anime, put it the hell away, I'm serious.

/tough love

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Devolution would you date anyone from this thread?

 

[FelixOrion]

So what does that mean? It means find something about yourself (a hobby, an interest, hell even a fashion style) that makes you stand out and don't apologize for it, embrace it. If some women are put off, fuck 'em, they probably weren't worth your time. But the confidence you exude by not giving a fuck will attract ever more women. This however doesn't mean be an asshole or be aloof, a lot of dudes can't seem separate it out. Also if it's anime, put it the hell away, I'm serious.

/tough love

I do a LOT of acting, as a both hobby and even for pay. That counts as an interesting interest that women should love, or at least be something to talk about right? Right?

Spoiler

I play a lot of mean characters and a lot of villains. Villains don't get the women.

 

[Timedog]

I'm not putting my anime away

 

[Deleted member 81567]

I'm not putting my anime away

You have a big dick though, so you're an exception.

 

[Devolution]

I do a LOT of acting, as a both hobby and even for pay before. That counts as an interesting interest that women should love, or at least be something to talk about right? Right?

Spoiler

I play a lot of mean characters and a lot of villains. Villains don't get the women.

Villains are way more interesting though. At least well written ones.

I'm not putting my anime away

Look as long as it's not copious amounts of Moe it's fine. Or else we'll have to talk.

 

[FelixOrion]

Villains are way more interesting though. At least well written ones.

I'm not saying they're not. But when you do meet and greets after shows and people are scared to talk to you, it feels good knowing you did you job but it feels bad knowing that they can't differentiate between your stage persona and the real you, as if I'm ACTUALLY the villain.

I've left a lot of meet and greets early because of that.

 

[Jzero]

Yep. Though, realistically, why would you worry about dating if you can't afford it? I don't wanna sound mean, but take care of yourself first.

because i'm a lonely bastard And i don't want to settle for a piece of shit fast food job.

 

[low-G]

Look as long as it's not copious amounts of Moe it's fine. Or else we'll have to talk.

Striped panty lolita posters covering all exposed surfaces.

 

[Devolution]

Striped panty lolita posters covering all exposed surfaces.

Don't forget pillows.

 

[FelixOrion]

because i'm a lonely bastard And i don't want to settle for a piece of shit fast food job.

Why not? Is saying "I work at McDonalds" worse than saying "I'm jobless and broke as a joke"? At least you'll have cash and you're working.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

I think confidence in your kawaii stuff would give you way more creepy points than what looks can save.

 

[silentcapybara]

Aaaaannnnddd she canceled. No worries. This will give me time to get some work done, and hopefully she and I can get together soon.

 

[RawPower]

So if your humor sucks, how do you get better at it?

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

So if your humor sucks, how do you get better at it?

You go draw comics at 9gag.

Don't NEED to be funny, if you are at least interesting. Or find someone who finds you funny.

 

[hawkshockey11]

So I think I just entered a friends with benefits pact....
I know they never turn out well but we both agreed that we weren't ready for relationships, but we are sexually attracted to each other. Wish me luck...

 

[hawkshockey11]

So if your humor sucks, how do you get better at it?

Steal jokes from tv shows and movies.

I'm not interesting either. I'm a pretty simple guy, come to think of it. It just seems like one of those things that you either are or you aren't.

being funny is more about delivery than the actual content. Work on just making funny voices and facial expressions when saying things. Seriously.

 

[RawPower]

You go draw comics at 9gag.

Don't NEED to be funny, if you are at least interesting. Or find someone who finds you funny.

I'm not interesting either. I'm a pretty simple guy, come to think of it. It just seems like one of those things that you either are or you aren't.

 

[Ramblin]

So if your humor sucks, how do you get better at it?

You don't. As much as women say they love a man with a sense of humour, they're lying. I don't know how many times I've left fake doodoo on the counter and all the girls just ran away.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

I'm not interesting either. I'm a pretty simple guy, come to think of it. It just seems like one of those things that you either are or you aren't.

That's not the best way to sell yourself. What do you usually do or talk about with your friends?

You don't. As much as women say they love a man with a sense of humour, they're lying. I don't know how many times I've left fake doodoo on the counter and all the girls just ran away.

It wasn't smelly enough.

 

[Atramental]

being funny is more about delivery than the actual content. Work on just making funny voices and facial expressions when saying things. Seriously.

I myself have "joke characters" that I play as sometimes.

I sometimes alternate between a tough brooklyn guy to an effeminate country gentleman.

 

[Ramblin]

I myself have "joke characters" that I play as sometimes.

I sometimes alternate between a tough brooklyn guy to an effeminate country gentleman.

This. Women love a man with multiple personalities.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Sometimes I'm a psychopathic killer. Women love that shit.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

I myself have "joke characters" that I play as sometimes.

I sometimes alternate between a tough brooklyn guy to an effeminate country gentleman.

Yeah but you don't want to be come the joke either. I speak as someone who has been funny but lost the ability for people to take him seriously.

 

[RawPower]

That's not the best way to sell yourself. What do you usually do or talk about with your friends?

Usually video games, music, forming shitty bands (though I reckon this could fall under the 'music' category), philosophy, and things that happen in our lives (school, work, etc). I'm not someone who immediately opens up to people he doesn't know. I've always been very private and reclusive. A loner, if you will.

 

[Atramental]

Sometimes I'm a psychopathic killer. Women love that shit.

Yeah but you don't want to be come the joke either. I speak as someone who has been funny but lost the ability for people to take him seriously.

Normally I'm a very serious and solemn person so I don't have to worry about that.

I rarely act out those characters because I'm not in enough social situations where I can joke around. But they come in handy from time to time.

 

[Chinner]

it's clear that devolution would want to date me, as timedog has gone out of his way to imitate me (being funny, black etc). however i would not date devolution because she is like 17 years old.

 

[low-G]

it's clear that devolution would want to date me, as timedog has gone out of his way to imitate me (being funny, black etc). however i would not date devolution because she is like 17 years old.

Also you're a duck.

 

[FelixOrion]

This. Women love a man with multiple personalities.

My multiple personalities are all killers.


...no shut, up, I won't say that. Wait, did I type my thoughts?

Spoiler

See. My humor fucking sucks.

 

[-PXG-]

If you're jobless and broke as a joke dating is out of the question huh?

Pretty much, yes.

Before even worrying about other people, get your shit together first. Money, body and mind. Get all three in order (or at least working on it) until you even think about getting someone else involved in your life.

For example:

- I've had a full-time job since October. I have money in the bank and enough extra cash to go out and have a social life.
- I started working out twice a day (before and after work). Not only does it help me look and feel good about myself, but it also alleviates stress (ie, work and family bullshit)
- I just so happen to work with a lot of strong minded, opinionated women. I've learned quite a lot and have acquired an even thicker skin than before. Plus, as mentioned above, regular exercise (as well as better eating habits) has improved how I feel about myself. I'm much more confident around females now than ever before.

I feel fucking great. I've been on two dates with a girl I met last week and I just got three numbers yesterday. Of the three new candidates, I'm seeing one tomorrow night. Feels great knowing that I have options.

And guess what? You can too. It's not magic and not nearly as hard as you might think.

 

[white dynamite]

How do I tell a girl I don't like her? Through a mutual friend, I found out one of my best friends is crazy about me, or "wants me bad." She's pretty clear about her feelings for me with other people, but I'm not supposed to know she likes me. It's pretty obvious she has feelings for me, but whenever I ask her if she likes me she jokingly denies it.

We're supposed to have dinner sometime this week. I think I should be honest and tell her how I feel (I like her as just a friend) but how do I got about it and what's the best way to do it without hurting her?

 

[Deleted member 81567]

without hurting her?

Can't happen.

 

[white dynamite]

Can't happen.

Er. Yeah. I meant how do I hurt her the least.

 

[Vermillion]

Think of it this way, we're conditioned to be fickle creatures (not saying we all are) from changing our wardrobe, to our hair, to our accessories, etc. If you're lucky enough to find a woman who doesn't give a shit about these things good, but plenty do and if you're not interesting she will flake the fuck out. And since we're in a day and age where she can text, fb, and mingle on all kinds of platforms, if you don't stick out right away like a plumed peacock, good fucking luck.

So what does that mean? It means find something about yourself (a hobby, an interest, hell even a fashion style) that makes you stand out and don't apologize for it, embrace it. If some women are put off, fuck 'em, they probably weren't worth your time. But the confidence you exude by not giving a fuck will attract ever more women. This however doesn't mean be an asshole or be aloof, a lot of dudes can't seem separate it out. Also if it's anime, put it the hell away, I'm serious.

/tough love

Heyyyyy, I know girls who like anime (and are attractive)!

Spoiler

Naruto, DBZ, FMA. That's childhood shit. I'm not as crazy as others.

 

[FelixOrion]

How do I tell a girl I don't like her? Through a mutual friend, I found out one of my best friends is crazy about me, or "wants me bad." She's pretty clear about her feelings for me with other people, but I'm not supposed to know she likes me. It's pretty obvious she has feelings for me, but whenever I ask her if she likes me she jokingly denies it.

We're supposed to have dinner sometime this week. I think I should be honest and tell her how I feel (I like her as just a friend) but how do I got about it and what's the best way to do it without hurting her?

You can't, but the lesser of two evils is to let her know now or soon then let her continue with the fantasy indefinitely or go out with to be nice.