Via The Escapist, from an Anonymous writer. As the article points out early on, sexism and gender issues are not the focus of this essay. I know the chances of this thread devolving are relatively high, but I think it's something worth reading.
First of all, let's get one thing straight: Using the word "rape" in an online game is not some kind of longstanding tradition or a definitive part of the culture. I've been a gamer for well over two decades, and this term hasn't been around more than a handful of years. Good-natured trash talk is fine between friends, but that's not what this is. I've played basketball with at-risk youth from inner-city Chicago, and the things they said to me, even when I was being crowded and fouled and knocked to the pavement, were nothing compared to a single hour on Xbox Live. You can play aggressively and still be a good sport.
Second, games are not the last place where telling someone you "raped" them is ok -- it's not okay to say that to strangers in any place. I'd even caution you about using that term around friends. Rape victims in general don't advertise, and you have no idea when you'll be in our company. I nearly had to leave a Game of Thrones party the other day because my friends, male and female, were yelling rape jokes at the screen during every scene of sex or violence. The first few didn't faze me, but by the time they were chanting, "Rape! Rape! Rape!" at the mob attacking Sansa, I'd lost any chance of enjoying my night. If my friends don't even know I'm a rape victim, how do you know the strangers on your server aren't? Often I won't say anything, even when I'm upset, because I don't want to be negative and ruin everyone's fun.
Except "ruining fun" is exactly why I dislike it when people use that word. It ruins my fun. It sucks the fun out of a game like oxygen through a blown airlock. Being raped was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I don't like to be reminded of it when I'm supposed to be enjoying myself. Imagine if someone captured your flag or dominated you in deathmatch, then rubbed in your face how your sister was killed by a drunk driver or your dad abandoned you when you were little. That's how close it cuts. People keep using the word "offended," in this discussion -- I'm not offended, I'm hurt. Hearing this word causes me emotional pain.