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[BIGWORM]

chocolate gif was bad taste, apologies.

but you gotta admit this thread is mighty gross, hilariously so.

Being grossed out in here is dependent on one's maturity.

 

[The Lamp]

Good stuff, Conrad. My girl actually prefers anal to vaginal now. We don't use lube anymore, either. She does ass to mouth without even asking for permission, but then again she gets off when I choke and hit her. Daddy issues are a guy's best friend, GAF.

Welp I'm out.

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

On nights when my girlfriend and I want to explore alternative methods of intercourse...

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

 

[Tesseract]

Being grossed out in here is dependent on one's maturity.

i'll remember that next time someone asks me to eat their asshole. be mature i'm told, when in germany do as the germans do.

 

[Cousteau]

Hemorrhoids incoming.

 

[Archpath1]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

hahaha ooh man, too much im done

 

[casmith07]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

I lost it the same time you lost it, lmfao.

 

[F0rneus]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

Oh man hahahahaha. This is so good.

Spoiler

The laughs hahaha

 

[Wickwire]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

hahahahahaha

I love this forum

 

[ConradCervantes]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

Thanks, the girl and I both had a good laugh out of it. Of course, I waited until the reading finished to tell her I authored it.

 

[Devolution]

Interesting. I was wondering what the female perspective on all of this was.

The rougher it is and the bigger his dick is can be an issue. Not so much during when you're used to it but the next day you can feel kind of awkward and bruised.

 

[kehs]

The rougher it is and the bigger his dick is can be an issue. Not so much during when you're used to it but the next day you can feel kind of awkward and bruised.

stop posting on devs account tdawg

 

[UFRA]

Don't worry guy! Just keep at it and before you know it, it'll be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Cheers!

Oh shit this got me LOL

 

[samus i am]

The last girl I was with had no problems with me doing it. I would go for it about every other time we had sex. It feels glorious. With my new girl, her vag is so tight I can barely do normal sex. It sounds awesome but trust me, it's not.

 

[Coconut]

Um. Hate to tell you this but vaginas can feel the exact same way.

Well, if you gotta force it you are doing something wrong.

 

[POWERSPHERE]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

HAHAHAHAHA

 

[Yoshichan]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

Hahahahahahahahaha

 

[Talladega Knight]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

analriffic

 

[Devolution]

Well, if you gotta force it you are doing something wrong.

Who said anything about "forcing"?

 

[D.Lo]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

This is very amusing. Thank you.

 

[Salsa]

anal sex wasnt all that to me, but im glad I tried it a couple times and I certainly would again since both times were with the same girl

 

[Twilight Gap]

Well this thread has gotten much weirder since the first page.

 

[Funky Papa]

And here I was wondering how come this thread could be this big.

 

[hwalker84]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

LMAO.... WOW!

 

[VanquishUK]

I had a good laugh in this thread for the first few pages, now I feel that it's just....weird to say the least.

 

[Kung Fu Grip]

neogaf just can't discuss sex seriously which people actually have in real life. most people here think it's gross or funny b/c they never have it lol

Ha! You know how badly i want to try these things????

You hear me ladies?

Guys who get to explore every part of the female body are fucking lucky.

Now i go cry to myself.

 

[BruiserBear]

Good stuff, Conrad. My girl actually prefers anal to vaginal now. We don't use lube anymore, either. She does ass to mouth without even asking for permission, but then again she gets off when I choke and hit her. Daddy issues are a guy's best friend, GAF.

gross on so many levels

 

[Sn4ke_911]

gross on so many levels

and hard to believe too. Let's not forget it's the internet where everyone can say stupid shit.

 

[Lucian Cat]

This thread is hilarious AND informative. Good job!

 

[cayulinson]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

hahahahahahhaa!! what the hell!! i was listening on my job!!

 

[GungHo]

On nights when my girlfriend and I want to explore alternative methods of intercourse, I make sure to keep her as pleased and loosened up as possible. I perform oral on her and masturbate her while she lies in my arms, and since she's into BDSM I whisper into her ear all of the filthy things I would do the next time I tie her up. It doesn't take long for her to cum once or twice if my promises are explicit enough.

From there we usually are able to proceed to vaginal sex, and since she likes it from behind, I take the opportunity to begin prepping her ass for invasion by licking my thumb and slowly massaging the area around the hole, and occasionally the hole itself. This helps her relax a bit, knowing that I'm back there and not just dive-bombing into her butt.

We use Astroglide for lube, and it's while I'm railing her puss from behind that I take a little dollop of lube and begin to penetrate her backdoor with my fingers slooooooowly. The anal experience is all about making the receiving partner as comfortable with it as possible. I'm usually able to go up to three lubed fingers until she considers herself "ready, baby."

She prefers anal via missionary because she only has to concentrate on my wang slipping up her butt instead of that AND riding me/balancing on her knees and hands/piledriver. I drop another dollop of lube onto my pee-pee and work it over until it has a nice shine to it, like a high schooler buffing out a finished piece in jewelry class. I then rub the head of my wiener against her brown-eye, gradually applying more and more pressure--with her consent, of course--until I'm pretty much balls-deep.

This is when I tend to stop for a while, let her muscles acclimate to my girth, and tend to her needs, kissing her breasts or masturbating her once more, whatever she needs to let herself accept my johnson in her bum. In our experience, it takes a few minutes of this until she's ready for me to take her to pound-town, but she's become pretty damn good at it. I've been able to hit it as hard as I hit her pussy, which says a lot about her resilience.

Well, that's my advice. Mileage may vary, but the basics should remain the same. Take it slow, make it about the receiver and not your own need to drop a load in that tight ass, and if he/she looks like they just stubbed all their toes and got their genitals waxed simultaneously, then slow the fuck down. Good luck, and god speed.

 

[Conor_Fool]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

This is the hardest I have ever laughed on GAF by a longshot, thank you my friend

 

[Harlock]

My wife and I had our first successful attempt at anal on Saturday. Went in with a condom. Today she told me she is really raw.

Kinda worried it might scare her away from anal forever. She enjoyed the last half of it when she loosened up.

We used tons of lube. Question is: What can remove her raw sensations in the future? Do I need to go slower? It was her first time doing anal (and mine also). Will the raw sensations go away naturally if we do it enough? If so, how long does it take to "break in"?

Without condom is more smooth. And tell her to eat fatty food 1 day before.

 

[JohnDoe]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

I'm fucking dead, lol.

 

[dokish]

Source?

 

[Midnight Moon]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

OMG, I need to hear this at work. Better put my headphones on XD

You sound like a narrator for dubbed anime.

"BEFORE DIVEBOMBING IN HER BUTT" I almost fell out of my chair xD

 

[Truant]

and hard to believe too. Let's not forget it's the internet where everyone can say stupid shit.

True. I can't really prove any of it, I guess.

 

[andycapps]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

Killed me when you got to pound-town.

 

[Indrid Cold1]

"Pound-town"

 

[ConradCervantes]

and hard to believe too. Let's not forget it's the internet where everyone can say stupid shit.

I know, right? Those lying virgins, anyways.

 

[supaman900s]

So today was my first visit to the GAF off-topic discussion and this is the first thread I see! WTF!? Lmao - shit gets rough (no pun intended) over here, huh?

 

[WhiskeyDiver]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

I was brought to tears of laughter. Well done my good man.

As far as the topic is concerned, I've had a couple of women that were interested in trying it, but never went for it again regardless of whether it felt good or if there was noticeable pain. Some didn't want to do it at all. I've been with two women that loved it. Preferences vary.

 

[andycapps]

So today was my first visit to the GAF off-topic discussion and this is the first thread I see! WTF!? Lmao - shit gets rough (no pun intended) over here, huh?

Welcome to best GAF. There are some great gems in the archives.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

A DRAMATIC READING.

Spoiler

It had to be done

Who is that in the background?

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

Who is that in the background?

The waifu. She was in my bed playing Animal Crossing while recoiling in terror.

 

[Coconut]

Who said anything about "forcing"?

In a lubeless situation you have to force it in.

 

[(._.)]

Ha! You know how badly i want to try these things????

You hear me ladies?

Guys who get to explore every part of the female body are fucking lucky.

Now i go cry to myself.

you will one day. just be yourself and keep show the girl(s) you're with that you really do genuinely care for them and you want to experience them in different ways. they are usually just as curious and willing. us guys put female sexuality on a pedestal, but in reality they really aren't much different from us. just put yourselves in their shoes. if you make your partner feel safe and comfortable. show them you really like them and you're to be trusted, that makes them feel willing to take risks and try out different experiences with you. sometimes she may even be the one that leads and it's the guy that needs to open up, just read some of the replies itt.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

The waifu. She was in my bed playing Animal Crossing while recoiling in terror.

Haha, great.

 

[Count Dookkake]

The waifu. She was in my bed playing Animal Crossing while recoiling in terror.

She should be no stranger to getting fucked in the ass.

Spoiler

Fucking Nook...

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

She should be no stranger to getting fucked in the ass.

Spoiler

Fucking Nook...

She got dem loans under control.